AN: Well, this will be my first childbirth scene and I swore I wouldn't do one. Why? Well, I believe the four biggest clichés in fanfiction are love, sex, pregnancy, and childbirth, as common as these things are in fiction and I was determined not to fall into it. But since I know a lot about childbirth, I said, what the heck. I just made sure I didn't use any of the biggest childbirth clichés (ex… dramatic panic of family, water suddenly breaking at the most inconvenient time etc…). I apologize if I offended anyone for my comment, but that's just how I feel.

Oh yeah... Just so I won't have anyone trying to accuse me of plagiarism, I used some lines from the script of Return of the Jedi for a conversation in here.

Read, enjoy, and review!

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Chapter Thirty-eight

"Young Tano," Yoda said when he felt her approach. "Waited on you I have."

"I wondered where you disappeared to," Ahsoka said to him as she tried to make herself comfortable in the small hut.

"Old I have become. Reluctant to leave this place, I was. Glad to be home, I am," he said.

"I suppose,"

"Speak your mind, you feel you must?" Yoda asked.

Ahsoka sighed. After all these years of resentment for the Jedi in general and turning her back on them, she still knew no one that could give advice like Yoda, even if he was a little narrow-minded.

"I'm lost," she said to him. "I'm not… I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I'm confused."

Yoda sniffed. "Followed your master most of your life you have and now that one with the force he is, unsure of yourself you are."

Ahsoka paused before admitting, "I guess you summed it up."

"What think you Young Tano," Yoda asked.

Ahsoka growled in irritation. "I told you I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't be here."

"Told you once, that intertwined with Vader's destiny you were," Yoda reminded.

"But he's…" Ahsoka sighed. "He's dead now."

"Forgotten your Jedi training have you? There is no death, only the force," Yoda chided.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "I'm not a Jedi anymore."

"But live by our principals you do," Yoda pointed out and then sighed as he said, "Though gone he is, lives his destiny does and help him continue to fulfill it, you will. A new generation of force users, the matriarch of, you will be."

"I'm not rebuilding the Jedi if that's what you mean. Discipline is one thing, but the Jedi life is something else entirely."

"Shown me a glimpse of your destiny the force has, but give you the answer I cannot," Yoda told her.

Ahsoka groaned. "Well you were certainly-."

At that point, Yoda noticed how old and weary Yoda looked. In fact, he looked sick.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

Yoda only gave her a small smile and hobbled over to his bed.

"Soon rest I will," he told her. "Forever sleep. Earned it, I have."

The thought that Yoda could die was unfathomable. He was so old, had been around so long, that it had never crossed her mind even though she had often disagreed with him.

"You… you can't die," Ahsoka said to him.

"Strong I am with the force, but not that strong," Yoda said to her. "Twilight is upon me and soon night will fall. That is the way of things, the way of the force. A long time it took for Vader to learn this, but learn it he finally did. Let go, he was able to and right on time it was."

"But I need your help. I don't know what to do. I won't rebuild the Jedi, but the Republic is going to need protectors. Luke… He can do it. But he needs-."

"Perfect balance there is," Yoda said. "Did what was foretold of him, Skywalker did. Needs you, not only does Luke, but all the children of Skywalker… A new order Skywalker paved the way for…"

"Balance? You mean that prophecy. Master Yoda," Ahsoka said as she felt him slip away.

"Guide you, the force will. As it did before, that night… again it… again it will."

The Jedi master was silent and his breathing ceased. Ahsoka had just enough time to process that he was dead before his body faded away. If anything, she was now more confused. She had intended to leave here with a clear mind, ready to go back to Naboo and tell everyone what her next move would be. But it hadn't happened. All she got from Yoda was the cryptic answers she hadn't wanted but should have expected if she thought about it. Ahsoka got up and started to crawl out the hut. There was nothing for her there. But she doubted she could handle going back and facing the fallout and media frenzy that was bound to result after the emperor's death. Perhaps it would just be better if she stayed away for a short while… Just to clear her head some.

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A while turned into weeks, so many Ahsoka started to lose count. But she needed it. She hadn't wanted anyone to find her and so far no one had. Who would even think to look for her on Tatooine anyway? It was Anakin's home planet for one and he hated it. Then it was hot and Ahsoka was sure over the years Leia had figured out Ahsoka hated extreme temperatures. It was likely they hadn't even thought to look on the dessert planet. Then again, Leia could have figured it out and was trying to give her some space. Either way, it didn't matter. She was alone and had been for what she guessed after a quick calculation might have been three standard months. She had been enjoying her isolation, purchasing a small homestead about thirty minutes away from the next town with the nearest neighbor a good distance away.

But Ahsoka had in no way planned whatsoever to be in isolation and by herself when she went into labor. She hadn't been that desperate to be alone. Her intention had been to leave as the date for which her child was due approached. However, true to a Skywalker, her son couldn't wait a few more weeks for her to go back to civilization (actually, as she had kind of lost count of the days, she may have been closer to her due date than she originally thought). At first she had hoped it was false labor and that nothing would come out of the pains she had started to feel one evening. She decided she'd just wait until morning and determine. But she lost that hope when she felt the tell-tale drizzle of water between her legs only a few hours after she had decided to try to sleep it off.

"Stang," she muttered as she got out the small bed and winced in pain. "Stang, stang, stang…"

In hindsight, Ahsoka realized it was dumb for her to seek isolation at all at any time during her pregnancy. She should have gone somewhere near a city or at least gone to Shili with her sisters. They would have left her to her solitude when she wanted it. She sighed. What was done was done now. Childbirth wasn't as dramatic as it was made out to be on holo-movies… nor was it as glamorous, but as long as she didn't panic, everything would be fine. Her labor with Shmi had been long, but relatively easy. However, out of all the things she had ever been through, she would admit that childbirth had been the worst of them. This labor, though progressing much quicker, was all the more painful.

She slowly made her way to the bathroom, a ten second walk that turned into five minutes because three close contractions stopped her along the way.

"Wow… Aren't you impatient?" she muttered as she grabbed a few towels and sheets out the closet. At this rate, the baby would fall out of her on the way back to the bed.

With that thought in mind, Ahsoka quickly-as quick as she was able-made her way back to the bed. If it did fall out, she wanted it to be on a cushioned surface. However, it didn't happen (though Ahsoka really wished it had) and four hours later, Ahsoka was leaning against the wall as she sat on the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest (as far as she could pull them anyway), legs spread open as she tried with all her might to let her body do this on its own. The last thing she needed was to start bleeding because she pushed too soon and there was no one to help her. But at that point, she was almost beyond caring as she began to hit her head against the wall lightly.

"I could really use some help…" she panted as she let her head fall to the side a little in exhaustion, her eyes closed.

Ahsoka was vaguely aware of her senses tingling but was in too much pain to be sure.

You can do it.

The pain had sent her into delirium, Ahsoka guessed as she swore she heard Anakin's voice. If it was a hallucination though, it was welcome.

"I can't," she muttered trying to hold back a scream.

Don't be afraid. I'm right here.

"No you're not…"

Difficult even in this kind of pain, came the dry response.

"Shut up," Ahsoka said. "You're not real. You're just in my head."

Believe what you want then. But I won't shut up until you do this.

"I can't. I don't want to…"

Ahsoka thought her dream Anakin had gone away as there was a long pause. But then he said, You can and you will. Now push.

If it would make the voices stop, Ahsoka would do anything and so she took a deep breath and pushed down.

That's it. Keep going.

Ahsoka cried out as she stopped and panted.

Don't stop! You're almost there.

"It hurts and I'm tired. I-."

I better not even hear the word 'can't' come put your mouth. Now come on.

Ahsoka wished her dream Anakin were real. That way she could throttle him. It was his fault anyway. But she somehow found it in her somewhere to push again.

He's coming. Don't stop.

Ahsoka groaned as she felt her core burning and she let out an anguished cry.

Keep it up. A little more…

"Argh!" Ahsoka groaned loudly and then the pain started to subdue. She opened her eyes which had been squeezed tight to look, before stiffly reaching down to grab the child. It reacted to her touch and began to wail loudly. She picked her son up and gently patted him on the back in case there was any fluid left in his throat, but judging by the sound of his wails it wasn't a problem. Then she wrapped him in the towel and pulled him to her chest and rather than trying to hush him, she let him cry. At least if he was doing that, she knew he was alright.

As she waited for him to calm down some, Ahsoka carefully inspected the child. Unlike Shmi whose features were dominantly human, her son was an obvious cross between the two. He didn't have the vibrant red or orange colors of a torgruta, but he did have the lekku and rudimentary montrals along with a head full of blond hair. He had stopped wailing by this point and opened his eyes as much as he was able. To Ahsoka's surprise, they were brown and not the blue she had been expecting.

"Handsome boy," Ahsoka said running a finger down his face, which he instinctively closed his fist around when it brushed his left hand that was near his face.

Now that labor was behind her, Ahsoka was pretty glad that she had done it by herself. She had her son all to herself for few days and there were no nurses or servants (like at the Alderaan Palace) to try to help her or tell her what she was doing wrong. However, she would have liked for Leia, Luke, and Shmi to be there. Leia and Luke had loved the idea of a sister when Shmi was born. Hell Shmi hadn't even known she was pregnant now that Ahsoka thought about it. Maybe it was time she went back…

Ahsoka was still contemplating when she would go back three days later as she put her son (who she still hadn't named either) on the bed between a bunch of pillows and headed to take a shower. He was awake and no telling how long it would be before he started crying.

She hadn't even turned on the water when he started to wail.

"Just five minutes," Ahsoka said from the shower. If anything, he screamed louder and though Ahsoka felt really guilty about making him scream like that, she really needed a shower. He cried the entire time, even as Ahsoka put on her undergarments and then ran out the bathroom and into the closet to find a long tunic to throw on. As she searched for the shirt, his wailing died down until he was crying no more

Ahsoka frowned, immediately on alert at the abrupt cessation of the noise. She walked out the closet while pulling the shirt on as she began to call out to him, only for the call to die in her throat as she looked up and saw the shimmering blue form leaning over him.

"You can't give your mother five minutes? Really?" he asked. "That's definitely the Skywalker impatience in you, little one."

Ahsoka found her voice then.

"Vader?" she asked out a habit more than anything.

He looked up at her and smiled as he shook his head.

"Anakin," she said even more surprised.

"Mostly," he said to her.

"Mostly?" Ahsoka asked.

Anakin form shrugged. "It depends on your point of view really. The Jedi are having a field day over it on my side, especially after I proclaimed not to be either a Jedi or a Sith. I say I'm just who I am," he said to her a smile playing on his lips as though he found it funny.

Ahsoka wanted to answer back playfully, but instead she found herself asking, "What are you doing here?"

At that point, all amusement was wiped from Anakin's expression as he glared at her and said, "You've done a lot of stupid and reckless things in your life Snips. But this one… This one tops them all."

Ahsoka only smiled, but Anakin didn't notice and continued.

"I mean what in your right mind possessed you to leave civilization and buy a house in the middle of the dessert knowing full well that you were pregnant to begin with?" Anakin asked looking at her expectantly from where he stood. Then he noticed her smile increasing his ire at her. "Do you find this funny?"

Ahsoka blinked and then laughed. "No… Not at all."

"Then what…?"

"You called me Snips," she said to him. "I haven't heard that in twenty years."

Anakin scowled at her obvious dismissal of a serious matter and crossed his arms at her.

"Ahsoka," he warned.

That was a tone she was all too familiar with, not only from when she was a padawan, but also when Vader was impatient with her.

She sighed. "I couldn't handle it alright? Everything just happened so fast. One minute it looks like we're all actually going to make it out of this alive and the next you're gone and my whole world falls apart. No one gets that though. To the galaxy we got rid of a tyrant and a ruthless military man, but to three, four children, they just lost a father and me… I just couldn't deal with it."

Anakin's expression had softened by that point and so Ahsoka decided to point out the bright spot in all this.

"Besides, he's fine and I'm fine. Everything turned out alright," she said running her thumb over her son's forehead as his eyes looked around the room some. Ahsoka found it odd. He usually just set his eyes on her when he was awake

"Of course it turned out fine. I made sure of that."

"You did?"

Anakin smirked. "Not my fault you didn't believe I was there. You probably thought it was a dream."

Ahsoka gasped. She had been so consumed with making sure her son was alright and then resting after her labor that she had forgotten that she had heard Anakin's voice before. And when she did remember it, she had convinced herself that it was her head playing tricks on her, imagining his voice to sooth her and get rid of her fear.

"That was really you?"

Anakin nodded. "What did you think? I was going to willing let you go through that by yourself?"

"Then why didn't you come to me before?" she asked feeling a little angry.

"Because you wouldn't have been able to handle it. The wound was too fresh," he said to her. "Besides, you wouldn't have heard what I had to say if I had."

Ahsoka looked at him, suspicious of his motive then. "What?"

Anakin braced himself as if getting ready for battle, and Ahsoka mused he probably felt that way as she could be quite stubborn when she wanted to.

"You know you have a duty to continue my destiny now right?"

"What duty?"

"The force is back in balance again," Anakin said to her. "And now it's your job to ensure that it stays that way."

"How? The Sith order is dead and so is the Jedi order. Isn't that good enough?"

"That was the start. That's the part I was supposed to fulfill. But now you, Luke, Leia, Shmi, and eventually this little one have a bigger job. The Jedi taught that the Sith were evil, that they were people who had lost their way in the dark side. But what they didn't realize was that they had lost their way in light. It blinded them. Both had to be destroyed one way or another. If I hadn't done it, somebody would have."

Ahsoka looked at him. "So what are you trying to say? That you were meant to turn to the dark side, destroy the Jedi and then destroy the Sith?"

"It had to happen so that we could start with a clean slate and I think we've done a good job so far," Anakin said thoughtfully.

Ahsoka's lekku stripes brightened in confusion. "I don't get it. What do you mean so far?"

"Well Luke's a Jedi. Shmi's a nightsister. And Leia… well she's something, but I haven't quite figured it out. The point is you don't see them fighting each other. To them, it's just a different expression of the force and they don't love each other any less for it. They complement each other's strengths and weaknesses," Anakin explained to her.

Ahsoka looked at his with a scowl before saying, "Shmi's a what?"

Anakin only smiled. "I guess I never got a chance to tell you huh? Don't worry. She was happy with them and she even got Ventress to like her."

Ahsoka scowled. She'd have to deal with that later. The idea that Shmi was friends (if she could call it that) with and had been trained by her former enemy was unsettling to say the least.

"Anyway," Anakin said continuing. "My point is that the force is always going to need servants to keep the galaxy in peace and you have to lead that."

"But…" Ahsoka shook her head to clear her jumbled thoughts. "You mean that's going to keep the balance? How did you come up with that?"

"Leia," Anakin said simply. "That and Shmi said something to me on Tatooine which finally clicked the last piece in place."

"Leia?" Ahsoka asked.

"Think about it. Every war this galaxy has had always started because of the conflict between the Jedi and the Sith. Two factions that got to fighting and wrecked havoc trying to gain the upper hand, trying to do the will of the force. Of course, the Sith did believe that the only way to keep order was with an iron fist and fear while the Jedi were on the opposite extreme believing that being passive was the way to go," Anakin said and then shrugged. "Either way, it was because they only saw each other's differences that they were always fighting. They were too narrow-minded. But Leia… Leia knew nothing about the conflict between the Sith and the Jedi. All she saw were the similarities and with a little pushing in the right direction, she brought together light and dark, a Sith and a Jedi, and made them see they weren't so incompatible after all."

At that point, Anakin put a shimmering hand on Ahsoka's cheek and then sighed before letting it drop down.

"But how do I fit in all this. I'm not a Jedi anymore," she said to him.

"That's the point," Anakin said. "Despite all their differences, you don't love either one of those children any less or more than the other, even the two that aren't your own. You're a true Skywalker matriarch in everything but name."

Ahsoka avoided his eyes and looked down at her son still noticing his eyes darting around. She frowned.

"Can he see you?"

"Doubt it," Anakin replied. "Although I think he senses me. That's why he keeps looking around."

"He…" Ahsoka said sighing. "He really needs a name."

"Padmé…" Anakin started and then trailed off.

Ahsoka figured out his train of thought and smiled a little. "It's okay. You belonged to her first. She was your wife and me… I was just your lover."

"Don't sell yourself short," Anakin said putting his hand back on her face. "I wasn't just saying empty words when I said I loved you."

"I know," Ahsoka said closing her eyes. "I don't doubt it anymore."

"Good," he said. "I have to go."

Ahsoka opened her eyes as he pulled back and said, "Wait. What's his name?"

"Malachi," Anakin said as his form began to fade.

"What's that mean?" Ahsoka asked.

"My angel."

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AN: So you see? Shmi becoming a nightsister wasn't just on a whim. It was purposeful! I always vowed never to incorporate the names I have set aside for my future children into this story, but I figure it was alright for once. Yes. Malachi is the name of the son I hope to have in the future. It means my angel or my messenger. I didn't know about the angel definition until I wrote this though and I was like. That'll work. So there's one more chapter and an epilogue, but with the way the epilogue's going… I might just leave the next chapter and forget it. It really stand better without it. I'll know tomorrow.

Hope you enjoyed. Review Please!