~*1974*~
Ludwig sighed. It was time for another meeting with Francis, and he had to do it alone. Not that he needed or wanted backup; on the contrary, he wanted to be alone with Francis especially when no one could interfere. Francis was still the person he loved most in the world. But he feared the meetings because he still didn't feel ready for the next step. He didn't want to commit to anyone. Not yet, when he just won a limited sovereignty back.
Thinking such things made his heart ache. That wasn't true. That was what he wanted as a nation, not what he wanted as the human that at least a part of him was. If he could, if he didn't have any other duties, he would be happily spending every day with Francis for the rest of his life. But he couldn't. Damn his sensible mind. That would mean neglecting his duty. He had to put what his boss, what his people wanted first. He had to take so many other things into consideration before he did anything.
In the last decade, his focus had been shifted. He had gotten a new boss who cared not so much about Alfred and his allies but wanted to make friends with Ivan, too – or at least be on good terms with him. For the last ten years he had traveled a lot in eastern Europe. With amazement he had seen his boss falling onto his knees at the memorial site in Auschwitz, just like everyone else. He had asked Feliks for forgiveness and had assured him that he, too, acknowledged the borders as Gilbert had. Thanks to the good terms he now was on with Ivan, he even had been able to visit his brother. They had both been so happy to see each other again, and even happier that he now wasn't forced to ignore Gilbert anymore.
So much had changed over the last few years, and so had the relationship between him and Francis. The more he had traveled east and the rarer they had been able to see each other, the more Francis had seemed to be sulking. Their bosses hadn't liked each other very much, so Ludwig was glad that recently a new boss had been elected in both his and Francis's houses. Hopefully, those two would get along better and allow more visits. Not being able to see Francis for weeks at a time had started to tear his heart apart.
He missed Francis. He missed him so badly. Every time, as soon as he had departed or Francis had left his house, he had started to miss him. Every second without his dear Francis was a torture he almost couldn't take. Never in his life had he felt like that before, not even with Feliciano. He often asked himself why he dreaded the next step so much. If they took it, they would be so much closer to one another. But there was also the fear that Francis might just play with him. He had heard a lot of stories and rumors about Francis, most of them from his brother. He hoped they were lies, but he also feared that they might be true, that Francis would bond with anyone who was of interest to him and then leave when he lost that interest.
Ludwig was pretty nervous while he was waiting for Francis to arrive. They hadn't seen each other in three months and although he could not wait for him to arrive, he felt insecure about this meeting. It was no official meeting but a visit to a friend, which was why they met at Ludwig's house near the Rhine.
When the doorbell finally rang, Ludwig jumped up from the couch where he had been reading while waiting, and opened the door before Francis had the chance to ring for a second time.
"Bonjour," Francis greeted him before he flung his arms around the other's strong shoulders. Ludwig, too, wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist and rested his head on his shoulders while hugging him close. "I missed you so much," he muttered.
Francis patted his head. "I missed you, too, mon chéri," he replied. Ludwig could almost hear the soft and warm smile playing around his dear's lips. "But don't you want to invite me in? It's not too pleasant to stand on the doorstep all day long."
Francis chuckled when Ludwig pulled him in and slammed the door shut right behind them. Before any of them could say a word, they locked into a deep kiss, clinging to each other almost desperately as if they feared their beloved might disappear if they let go. Tongues were wrestling, both struggling for dominance, lips closing around one another, and sometimes even teeth biting for an instant. When they finally pulled away from the kiss they looked deep in each others eyes, smiling.
"I'm so happy that you're here," Ludwig whispered.
Francis chuckled again. "I can see that, mon chéri," he said, starting to stroke the German's neck softly. "And I'm happy to see you, too."
"It's been so long. Too long. I'm sorry," Ludwig sighed.
"Don't need to be, silly. I'm with you now, that's all that matters. Besides, I know how badly you want your brother back." Francis planted another kiss on Ludwig's cheek.
The younger blushed slightly and hugged him close. No, never ever would he let him go. How could he even think about not being close to Francis anymore? He couldn't live without him. He didn't want to. Although he knew that it was impossible, he wished to be with him every single minute of his life.
"You must be tired," Ludwig finally said. "Want to go to the living room? Do you want something to drink?"
"Nah, I'm fine as long as you are with me, mon amour, but sitting down sounds nice, too," Francis replied. But even though he had said so, he hugged Ludwig again, before letting go of him after a short while. Ludwig led him into his living room and the two of them sat down on the couch. Ludwig leaned against Francis, who had wrapped his arms around him. For some time they silently enjoyed simply being together again.
Finally, Francis broke the silence, asking: "How was it in the East?"
"Lonely," Ludwig sighed. "Because you weren't there with me. Seeing my brother was kind of nice, though. I was happy to spend some time with him and he told me he was happy, too. But I'm still worried about him being on his own. He didn't look too well. But, what's worse than that... I missed you the whole time. Sorry that I have not had much time for you lately."
"Stop this already! Don't always tell me how sorry you are when you don't need to. Enjoy being with me now and forget about everything else." He gave him a short peck on the lips. He smiled when Ludwig pulled him closer to share another intense kiss.
For the whole afternoon, they sat on the couch, kissing, cuddling and talking about what they had been doing during the long months when they hadn't seen each other. It was so good, it did so much good to their hearts which had had to suffer from being separated for so long. They both needed it.
But Ludwig kept feeling like this wasn't enough. He wanted to be even closer than now. It confused him. The more Francis kissed and hugged and petted him, the stronger the feeling became. And so did his confusion.
When this confusion grew so strong he couldn't bear it anymore, Ludwig got up, stammered something like: "I'm going to make dinner, okay?" and rushed, almost fled into the kitchen, leaving a stunned Francis behind.
What on earth was wrong with him? Ludwig wondered. This feeling wasn't normal. He had never felt like this before. Never. Not even when he had been with Feliciano. This couldn't be right. He had to calm down.
He had to distract himself. Still absent-minded, he started to prepare dinner. The potatoes were already peeled and cooked, but he still had to slice them before he could fry them. Easy, dull work, exactly what he needed right now to calm down. After he had washed his hands, he started to slice the potatoes. It cooled him down quickly, as expected.
Just when he finally felt calm again, Francis entered the kitchen. "What will be for dinner?" he asked as he strolled over to Ludwig.
Ludwig felt his confusion coming back, but not as strong as before. "Salmon fillet with fried potatoes," he answered, trying to concentrate on not cutting his fingers. He was almost done and now needed to heat the pan. When he reached down for the drawer in which he kept his pans and pots, he felt Francis's curious look on him. "Is something wrong?" he asked. Is everything I need ready? he wondered. He wanted to concentrate on the cooking and ignore Francis who made him feel so weird.
"I was just thinking how sweet you are," Francis chuckled. Something told Ludwig that he wasn't getting the entire truth. Francis kept on watching him, almost staring at him, when he got the butter out of the fridge and started to fry the potatoes. He tried to act like he didn't notice, but his ears were burning. Why did Francis stare at him so intensely?
He was relieved when he eventually was done cooking. At least Francis would have to stop staring at his backside now. His hands shook a bit when he served the dishes. The dining table was decorated with a long white table cloth, two long candles and a single red rose in a slender tall vase.
They sat down and started to eat. At first, Ludwig didn't dare to look up. He still felt Francis's look on him, that weird, hungry look which made him feel so uncomfortable. He pretended to find the food in front of him very interesting. Francis had enough tact to say nothing about it.
"The diner tastes very good," France eventually said, smiling. Now Ludwig had to look up, at least for a short time, to answer. His eyes met Francis's. The hungry glance had faded, though it was still there but far less obvious. Ludwig swallowed. He knew – he didn't know how he knew, but he knew – that something was going on, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The worst part was that he didn't know whether he disliked this or not.
"Thanks," he replied. He noticed that Francis had laid his hand casually on the middle of the table. Of course, he would want him to take it. No matter how bad his feeling about all this was, it was Francis, his dear Francis, the one person he wanted to be with. He took the hand with his own shaking one. Just why was he this nervous? This was nothing out of the usual, he had to remind himself. Francis came over often, just as he in return visited Francis a lot. The only difference today was that this was their first time seeing each other in a couple of months.
"What do you have on your mind? You look so worried, mon bien-aimé. Is there anything I could do for you to make you feel better? Do you want me to leave?" Francis said, looking troubled.
"No!" Ludwig exclaimed. "Please don't go!" He almost got up from his seat to stop Francis, who hadn't even moved a finger, from leaving. It took him a few moments to realize that he just had made a fool out of himself. Ludwig blushed and murmured: "I would never want you to leave."
Francis squeezed his hand lightly to make him look up at him again. He smiled. But unlike before, his eyes were now full of love. "That was très mignon," he said. "Of course I will stay as long as you want me to. Je t'aime, as you know."
"Ich liebe dich auch," Ludwig answered automatically. But this wasn't just a reflex. He truly meant it. He loved Francis from the bottom of his heart. For the first time since he had ran off into the kitchen he smiled.
He wanted to prove to Francis that he loved him, now even more after he had been refusing him all day long. That wish was even stronger than his fear of … well, whatever it had been. Ludwig told himself that he needed to finally stop acting like a confused teen in love for the first time in his life and be more of an adult. Since he didn't want Francis to leave anytime soon, at least not until the next morning, he had to tell him so.
"Er … I … Francis, would you mind …" Jeez, how difficult could it possibly be to utter one single sentence? Ludwig thought, embarrassed and annoyed with himself. He took a deep breath before he finally said, hoping that this would be over fast: "Would you stay over for tonight?"
Francis looked at him, mouth wide open as if he had never expected Ludwig to ask this. But soon, the astonishment turned into joy. "I'd love to," he said when the smile came back to his lips.
Ludwig was glad that Francis had agreed so quickly. He wasn't sure whether he would have been able to persuade him if he hadn't. He certainly would have had trouble mustering enough guts to ask again. But now, everything was fine.
They stayed seated, exchanging loving glances, until the candles were all burnt down. At some point, Francis started to stroke the back of Ludwig's hand, sending sweet shivers down his spine. Just as always, Francis made him feel good without much effort.
For the rest of the evening, they stayed on the couch in the living room. There was little to be said, so they just enjoyed being together. Holding each other in one another's arms, they exchanged kisses and loving words.
Ludwig was happy, happier than he had been in a long time. He nearly forgot about how nervous he had been before. Just like always, Francis made him stop worrying and over thinking. He hugged him closer, resting his head on the elder's chest and listening to his breath and heartbeat.
This calmed him so much, he almost fell asleep. "Réveille, mon chère!" Francis whispered in his ear after a while. "This is no good place to sleep. You should go to bed if you are this tired." He planted a kiss on Ludwig's forehead. "Otherwise, you will probably catch a cold."
"But I don't want to go to bed now," Ludwig murmured sleepily. "I want to cuddle some more." He knew he sounded like a child.
Francis chuckled. "We can cuddle as much as you want in bed, too, you know? Or were you planning on leaving me here on the couch for the night?" he teased. However, it seemed that below the fun he had teasing the younger one, he had a quite serious intention.
"No, I want to stay with you the whole time," Ludwig replied. "If you slept here, I would do the same. So get to bed with me." He felt his heart beat quicken. Now he was wide awake again,but … he should really get to bed soon. "So, let's go, ja?" he yawned. "As you said, we shouldn't sleep on the couch when we have a bed."
Francis smiled. "That's what I wanted to hear," he cheered. To Ludwig's amazement he didn't sound the slightest bit tired. Normally this much enthusiasm would have made him at least uncomfortable. But now, say it was the wine or his tiredness, it seemed just the right thing to do and what he wanted.
He let Francis lead him to his bedroom. They changed – Ludwig lent Francis one of his own pajamas which was a bit too big for him – and Ludwig could feel his lover's glance on his back again while he was changing. Another shiver was sent down his spine when Francis hugged him from behind after changing. He felt the warmth of his lover's chest on his back and the other's breath tickled his neck.
"I love you," he heard Francis whisper.
Ludwig rested his hand on Francis's and squeezed it lightly. "I love you, too," he murmured. Then he turned around and kissed his beloved.
They had to lay down very close, since Ludwig had only a single bed, but that was not a problem. It gave them another reason to cuddle for a while. The warm bed soon made Ludwig tired again, and Francis just hugging him and saying nothing didn't help keep him awake.
Yet on the other hand, he was nervous again since this was the first time they had been in the same bed together. He knew that this didn't have to mean anything but somehow, though he was nervous, he wanted something to happen. He just didn't dare to take the first step.
"Francis," he murmured. "You still awake?"
His lover nodded. Ludwig shook a bit when he kissed him, carefully at first, but soon needier. Francis responded immediately, sticking his tongue in Ludwig's open mouth. Whatever had gotten into him, he decided it was better not to think about it. This felt too good. His heart was racing but it still felt too good to stop.
When Francis wrapped his arms around his waist to pull him closer, Ludwig didn't struggle. In fact, he even pressed his body against his lover. He wanted to feel him closer, be as close as possible to him.
After a while of kissing Francis slipped a hand beneath Ludwig's shirt. At first, Ludwig jerked a bit, but soon he got used to the feeling and realized that he wanted more that the elder just stroking his waist. With shaking hands he pushed up the other's shirt and stroked his chest. He had never done such thing before, and he was so nervous his fingers shook for the entire time that he touched his lover.
Soon enough, Ludwig started to moan softly when the elder moved his hands lower, down to his hips. This felt way too good to stop. Why had he ever been afraid of this anyway? At least, until now it didn't hurt. He knew from his brother what was still to come. That would hurt. But if it was Francis, he didn't care much.
"Ahn~, Francis, please...," he moaned when his lover slipped his hand into his pants. "...more..."
"You're sure about this?" Francis asked. He sounded excited, too. "Sure you are ready for all this?"
Ludwig moved his hips against the other's, trying to make his point clear. He needed to be touched there by him and he didn't care about the rest. Through the fabric of their pants he could feel the hardening member of his lover. So Francis wanted this as much as he did.
Although he had wanted this to happen, he jerked a bit when his lover pulled his pants and boxers down to his knees. To calm him, Francis planted a soft kiss on his cheek and murmured: "It's alright. I won't do anything to hurt you, mon chère."
The first touch on his member felt so strange, so unfamiliar and yet so good. Ludwig tried to suppress a moan. The skilled fingers of his lover soon got him squirming. Never before had he felt such pleasures. It amazed him how fast he got himself and the elder's hand covered in pre-cum. He didn't resist when Francis took his hand and made him touch his own neglected erection.
It felt strange to caress another man in that place, but it also made Ludwig even more excited. He could feel his own member twitching in Francis's hands, and he was almost melting away from all that pleasure. But then, the stroking suddenly stopped.
"Francis?", Ludwig moaned needly. He moved his hips to be touched again, but it was no use. "More, please, Francis, bitte," he whimpered. Perhaps Francis wanted him to concentrate on touching more than being touched. Since he didn't exactly know what to do – and this was the one thing which made him most insecure of all things – he tried to move his hands like he would when touching himself. The groan which escaped his lover's lips after a while was reward enough for him – along with the pre-cum on his hands.
All the more surprising it was when his lover loosened his fingers from his cock. Ludwig looked at him in incomprehension. He couldn't understand why he would ask him to stop now, or why Francis slid beneath the blanket.
Ludwig jerked when he felt something wet and hot around his member but relaxed as his lover started to stroke his waist again. He arched his back in pleasure. So good. Whatever his lover was doing it felt so good, Ludwig knew he wouldn't last long.
Francis sucked him in deeper and deeper. Ludwig grabbed the sheets to hold himself still. He thought he was probably going insane from all the pleasure. Over and over again, he moaned the Frenchman's name. This was too good. A loud scream escaped his lips when his lover licked the tip of his cock. How did he know how to push all the right buttons to make him melt in pleasure?
Ludwig clenched the sheets so tightly his knuckles turned white. Anything, just to last a little longer so it wouldn't be over just now – but it was no use. Francis was so skilled and this was the first time in his life that he felt such pleasures. Before long, he came with a loud groan.
After his climax Ludwig lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, experiencing his afterglow. Francis reappeared from under the blanket, licking his lips and smiling brightly at his younger lover. "Was it that good?" he asked as he lay down beside Ludwig, who couldn't do anything but nod in response. "Fine," Francis cheered as he planted a kiss on Ludwig's cheek.
"This was incredible, Francis, Liebster," Ludwig sighed. His eyes were hooded. He cuddled into his lover's arms and closed his eyes.
"I love you," Francis smiled.
"I love you, too," Ludwig murmured at last, before he fell asleep.
A\N: Finished. Finally. I wouldn't have thought this would take this long. But, well, there's something called school and tests and upcoming exams … I hope the next chapter won't take this long again.
Thanks to fakiagirl for correcting this mess.