I had the flu for the next couple weeks leading into December. Being sick was miserable, and resulted in me staying in the hotel for most of the weeks. I was just starting to get over the sickness when Hogwarts went on Christmas holiday. I wasn't sure at the time what Carrigan and I were going to do for the holiday. Gabriel and I still had to stay in Hogsmeade because of our post, but I wasn't sure if Carrigan wanted to stay with us, at Hogwarts, or if she was set on going home.

Gabriel had brought her down to the hotel to see me on the last day of the term. Carrigan was warmly dressed in a winter traveling cloak, black scarf and matching mittens. Once she and Gabriel entered, she began to take off her cloak to reveal that she was wearing dark blue skinny jeans, a white button up blouse, and a black vest. I smiled as I lay in the bed. She reminded me so much of myself.

"Hey Mom," she said coming to me once her outdoor clothes was off. She sat on the bed next to me and kissed my forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Better then I have in a while," I whispered. "How are you?"

"Fine," Carrigan said. "Happy that term is over. I was dying under all of my school work."

I nodded remembering my school days and the school work I was usually buried under. I bit my bottom lip and looked at Gabriel for a moment. He had taken off his cloak and was at the desk, standing tall despite leaning over the paper work on the desk. I spent my first Christmas in England with Gabriel when he kidnapped me from the platform at the train station. Carrigan caught me staring at him and pinched my arm to get my attention.

"Ouch, what was that for?" I asked rubbing my arm as I glared at her.

"For staring at my Godfather with desperate eyes," Carrigan responded in a whisper.

"I do not have desperate eyes," I snipped. Carrigan gave me a cross look and I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest. "What do you want to do for holiday?" I asked changing the subject.

"Can I stay with you guys?" Carrigan asked. "I wouldn't mind getting out of the castle for awhile."

"Of course," I nodded. I looked back to Gabriel who had turned to us. Of course he had been listening to our conversation the entire time. He approached the bed slowly with his hands in his jean pockets.

"I'll get you two a separate room," he said. "Across the hall hopefully."

"Thank you," I said with a smile. Gabriel nodded and walked out of the room. Carrigan sighed and crawled over me to the other side of the bed. She laid down with her head on the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. "What's the matter?"

"Neal broke up with me," she sighed. There weren't tears in her eyes, but she was obviously perturbed by the situation.

"Why?"

"Said I was immature—which is ridiculous—and that it wasn't worth losing his life to date me," she said as she glared at the ceiling. I looked to the ceiling where a small brown circle was beginning to form.

"Carrigan," I said grabbing her arm. She blinked and looked at me as the smell of burning wood filled the room. I looked back at the ceiling frowning deeply. The burn mark she had just created on the ceiling was the size of a large mixing bowl. Carrigan frowned deeply.

"Sorry," she whispered. "He just makes me so mad."

"Well if he's going to be that much of a jerk then you shouldn't have been with him to begin with," I responded with a comforting tone.

"I know," she nodded. "I'm mad because I wasted my time. I could have been doing homework all the times we were hanging out!"

I laughed slightly. "Take it as a lesson learned. Boys are dumb."

"Is that why you aren't with Gabriel, even though you both love each other?"

"We've been over this Carrigan," I said lightly.

"It's not because of me though, right?" she asked.

"What?" I looked at her confused.

"Mom, if Gabriel makes you happy you should be with him. I don't want you to sacrifice your happiness for me or my safety," she said wisely. "It wouldn't be weird if my Godfather became my Step-Father. Gabriel is practically my Father as it is."

I was staring at Carrigan with confusion. Before I could say anything, Gabriel entered the room and brought a new key to us on the bed. Carrigan sat up and took it, because I was still staring at her with shock.

"What's the matter?" Gabriel asked as I blinked and looked up at him.

"I think you and Mom should get married," Carrigan said as she hopped off the bed with the new key in her hand. Gabriel smiled slightly and looked at me. I slapped my forehead and sighed roughly. This conversation was getting more and more awkward the longer it went on.

"Is that why you started to burn a hole in the ceiling?" he asked.

"That was Carrigan," I said defensively.

Gabriel shook his head. "I can't leave either of you alone."

"Well it's your fault really," Carrigan said. "If you hadn't scared Neal half to death he wouldn't have dumped me for a dumb reason and I wouldn't have burned a hole in the ceiling."

"I'm sorry he dumped you," Gabriel said sincerely.

"It's alright, he wasn't worth my time anyways," Carrigan shrugged. "I need to get my stuff from Hogwarts."

"I'll take you up there in a minute," Gabriel said. He then turned and looked at me. "Why does she think we should get married?"

"She's worried that I'm not letting myself be happy because of her," I said looking at Carrigan who was looking around the hotel room, pretending to ignore us and give us some privacy. "But I wouldn't be happy married to you anyways."

"I know," Gabriel laughed pinching my arm affectionately. "It means we'd have to be committed to each other. I know that scares us both a bit."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Thank you for going to get her things with her. I'll pack my stuff up and move over to the hotel room. Can you have her stay at Hogwarts tonight? I have to get her something for Christmas."

"Sure," he said leaning close to me. I gave him a nasty look as he leaned in close to my face. His breath felt hot on my neck and sent shivers through my body. I put my hands on his chest to stop him from coming closer to me, which caused him to smile. He touched my hands and stood up straight; bringing my fingertips to his mouth. He kissed my hands delicately as his eyes stared at mine. I continued to glare at him as I fought ever urge within me to smile. He broke free suddenly, releasing my hands, and turning away.

"Come on Carri," he said opening the hotel room door. "Leave the new key for your Mother."

"It's on the dresser," Carrigan said point to where she had just stood.

"Thank you," I said. Carrigan waved and turned to leave the room.

"Hey, Gabe," she said as they exited. "Can we train over holiday? I haven't practiced in awhile."

"We'll see Carri," Gabriel responded.

The hotel room door closed sharply behind them and I sighed. Gabriel's kisses still lingered on my fingertips, making my body pulse with desire and my mind fog with confused feelings. I pushed the sheets off of me and stood up. I was still in my pajamas, and I hadn't showered in a few days because of my sickness. I took a long relaxing shower and once I was clean and changed, I packed up the stuff I had in the hotel room. Gabriel and I had been living in the hotel room for almost a month. I was happy that I'd see a different room then this one—I was starting to hate it. I was never the kind of person to define one place as home; I believed that I didn't have a home, or a safe place. Most of the time while in England I had been a nomad, moving from place to place with out a permanent residence. This was mostly because it was not safe for me to be in one spot. My Father had always been on the hunt for me, so Sirius and I constantly moved. We lived in dirty old abandoned apartments, the finest places his money could buy, with the Potters at one point, and even Hogwarts. The house in the countryside was the first I had ever owned—and I did not define it as a safe place; too many people knew about it. I thought it was better to be on the move.

I moved my belongings across the hall to the new hotel room. It was a slightly larger room with two beds instead of one. Everything else was the same—the bathroom, the desk, dresser, and closet. I frowned slightly as I put my trunk in the closet. I had hoped the room would look different. I was becoming bored with my surroundings; I wasn't sure if it was because I had been living in the hotel for a month, or because I had been sick the last two weeks and spent all that time in bed.

There was a knock at the door, I went to it and was not surprised to find Gabriel standing in the hall waiting for me. I stepped to the side and allowed him to carry in a large trunk.

"Your daughter has more clothes then you do, if that is possible," he said setting the trunk down at the foot of one of the beds. I smiled and crossed my arms over my chest as he stood tall, looking at me with dark eyes. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "I was just thinking that I'm going to get her more clothes for Christmas."

Gabriel nodded his head slowly and approached me. His fingers touched my hips, gripping my belt loops, and pulled me against him. His dark eyes were looking at me with deep longing, a certain depth stood in his eyes, making me feel like he could straight into my soul.

"You have something else on your mind," he whispered. His lips were close to mine, creating a shiver that ran through my entire body. I closed my eyes and held my breath for a moment.

"No," I finally whispered as I looked up at him. "But I think you do."

"I would never ask you to marry me," he said with knowing eyes. He stood back and looked at me with a frank smile. "I know you don't want that—"

"But do you?" I asked. My fear was that he did. He wanted to marry me, to have me to be his.

"No," he said shaking his head. "You won't even let me call you my girlfriend, why would you marry me?"

"That doesn't mean you don't want it," I said sorely. He hadn't released me, but suddenly I wished he would. His body was so close, I could feel it pressing against me; his lips were near to mine, creating a sexually charged tension between our bodies. I wanted to escape. I didn't like where this conversation was going—because in the back of my mind I was so afraid he would say yes; he would say that he wanted to marry me, and I would be the bitch again. I would be the lone woman who wished to never be tied down, committed or controlled. Gabriel and I had a complicated relationship as it was, wouldn't being married make it worse?

"Cadence," he said my name softly. "Neither of us are the marrying type. We both know that."

"Alright," I said relaxing with a nod of my head. Gabriel looked at me with serious eyes. He was testing me, to see if I was really okay with the discussion. He wanted to make sure I wasn't just appeasing him.

"Do you want to have sex?" he asked with a charming smile.

I punched him in the shoulder as he laughed, taking the punch. As I pulled my hand away he grabbed and squeezed it lightly. I couldn't help but smile at him as he pulled me against him.

"Carrigan asked me to train her," he said.

"I heard," I nodded as I looked up at him with dreamy green eyes. Gabriel smiled at me and stroked my cheek.

"Are you okay if I do?"

"Yea," I shrugged. "We can do it together. Probably out in the woods by the Shrieking Shack."

"In the cold?" he questioned.

I shrugged as I pulled out of his arms. "Why not? It's not like we can train in the hotel room."

"But we could at Hogwarts," Gabriel suggested.

"Why are you afraid of the cold?" I asked as I picked up my cloak. Gabriel sighed.

"It's just not my preferred teaching conditions," he said coming up behind me. "I prefer inside…" His hands touched my hips again as he pulled me back against his body. I smiled and bit my bottom lip, then turned to him.

"I know you do," I said. "You prefer half naked, sweaty, wrestling with each other."

"If it's you, yea," he nodded kissing my neck. I smiled and pulled out of his arms, I wasn't going to let him tempt me into anything.

"Well it's not me," I said. "It's my daughter."

Gabriel stood up straight and frowned. "You had to ruin that moment didn't you?"

"Had to make you stop thinking about sex somehow," I said. There was a sharp pecking on the window, surprising both Gabriel and I. Gabriel went to the sill and opened it, allowing a snow white owl to sail in. I admired the beautiful creature as she soared through the room and landed on the dresser in the corner by the closet. She dropped a letter to the floor. Gabriel picked it up, looking at the black thin writing carefully.

"It's for you," he said extending it to me.

I raised my eyebrows as I stepped to him and took the letter. I ripped it open and saw that it was from Harry Potter.

"Harry is asking to see me," I said. I looked up at Gabriel with worried eyes. "Right away."

"Does he say why?" Gabriel asked holding out his hand for the letter. I gave it to him with a frown.

"No," I whispered. "I'll go see him." I took the letter from Gabriel and went to the desk, turning it over. I picked up a pen and wrote on the back of Harry's letter, telling him I'd meet him in the entrance hall in fifteen minutes. I folded the letter and flicked my wand at it, sealing it shut. The white owl swooped down from her perch on the dresser and landed next to me on the desk. I smiled at her and extended the folded parchment to her. She took it in her beck and sailed out of the open window. Gabriel closed the window behind her, and turned to me.

"What do you think is the matter?"

"Has to have something to do with Sirius," I whispered biting my bottom lip. "Which means he's probably realized that Sirius is responsible for his parents murder." I frowned and ran my hand through my hair as I heaved a sigh. "Alright, I need to go. I'll see you later."

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.

"No," I shook my head. "This is going to be difficult as it is, the last thing I need is you breathing down my neck."

Gabriel smiled. "It is a pretty neck."

"Shut up," I said going to the hotel room door. I gave him a smile, and then left the room.

When I arrived at Hogwarts, Harry was already waiting in the entrance hall for me. He was pacing at the bottom of the staircase, his arms crossed over his chest, and a look of anger in his green eyes. I frowned as I approached him, knowing by his body language that he had just found out about Sirius Black being responsible for his parents death.

"Hello Harry," I said folding my hands behind my back. "What's the matter?"

Harry looked at me, fury written all over his face. He took a breath and said

nothing. I sighed and looked at the ground.

"Would you like to go somewhere more private?" I suggested.

Harry nodded his head and marched up the stairs. I followed him quickly as he led me down a hall to a classroom. He threw the door open and marched in. I followed calmly and closed the door behind me.

"You knew!" he shouted. I frowned. "You knew he was responsible for their death and you did nothing!"

I stood tall in front of the door with my hands behind my back and let him scream at me. Perhaps he just needed to let out his frustration, much like I had when I found out that Sirius Black—the man I had loved—was responsible for our best friends' deaths.

"You ran to save your own butt!"

"He had been caught, you were safe, there was nothing else I could do," I whispered.

"How didn't you know?" Harry questioned loudly. "You were in a relationship with him, how could you have not known?"

"We had broken up a few months before it happened," I responded. "But I asked myself that all the time. I buried your parents Harry. I dug their graves and I buried them, then I vowed to find and protect you."

"Well I had already been found," Harry snipped and then paced around the room. I crossed my arms over my chest. "Why didn't you tell me what he had done? That he was my Godfather?"

"It was not my place to tell you," I shrugged.

"Who's was it then? Dumbledore's? He didn't tell me either," Harry snapped. "Why am I being treated like a child when it comes to my parents death and my safety—"

"Most likely because you're acting like a child," I interrupted raising my voice slightly. "You have every right to be mad Harry, I think you have every right to scream—but tell me, when you found out did some part of you want to run out there and find him, to look for him so you could get revenge?"

Harry was silent as he glared at me. I recognized that glare all too well; his mother had given it to me many times and it didn't faze me at all now.

"That would be a rash and childlike decision to make," I continued. "Even if you had good intentions. Sirius Black is a lying murderer. He fooled all of us—me, Dumbledore, and your parents. He betrayed all of us. You have every right to hate him. I hate him too."

"I want to find him," Harry nodded. "I want to catch him and—"

"And what? Kill him?" I questioned. Harry frowned and shook his head, turning away from me. "Killing him won't bring your parents back."

"He should have died!" Harry said slamming his hands on the desk in front of him. "They should have kissed him in Azkaban! Then he wouldn't have had the chance to escape!" I frowned and bit my lip as Harry kicked another desk. He calmed down after that, and looked at me with hatful eyes. "I want to get him."

I smiled slightly. "I admire your will, but it's not your job to catch him. And you won't be doing anyone any favors by going out there and getting killed yourself."

"I can defeat him," Harry said arrogantly.

I pulled my wand from my boot and flicked it at him, knocking him to his feet. He jumped up, and glared at me viciously as he pushed his glasses back on his nose.

"What the hell was that for!"

"If I were Sirius Black you'd be dead," I said shaking my head. "I don't think your parents sacrificed themselves for you to die now, against Sirius Black none the less. You have a much more important purpose Harry. Don't disappoint you parents."

"You don't know what would have disappointed my parents."

"I have a pretty good idea," I snapped back. Harry frowned and stepped back. "Your parents died for you, Harry. Don't let their death be in vain."

Harry rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry no one told you," I said. "I'm sorry I didn't. I should have, seeing as he was my boyfriend and we are both your Godparents. I'm sorry I didn't. I'm sorry for a lot of things because I know I've disappointed your parents, especially your Mother. I vowed to protect you if something ever happened to them and I haven't because I was selfish about my own protection. But I'm not going to let you go out there to try and find Black. It's not going to happen."

"You haven't kept your word to my parents yet," he said ruthlessly. "Why would you start now?"

"Because I'm here now," I responded with a shrug. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Harry rolled his eyes again and walked past me, exiting the classroom. I sighed as I let him leave. I wasn't going to go after him. He needed someone to be mad at; he could be mad at me if he wanted. I suppose he had every right to be mad. I should have told him about Sirius Black; I should have protected him better.

I sighed loudly and rubbed my hand over my face. There was nothing left to do at Hogwarts, so I turned and left the classroom, closing the door behind me. As I walked down the hall I passed an open doorway, someone called my name from it. I had made it down the hall a few steps when Remus Lupin appeared in the doorway.

"Cadence," he said with a small smile. "How are you?"

"Oh, hello Remus," I said stopping and turning to him in the hall. "I'm okay, how are you?"

"Just fine," Remus shrugged. He gave me a weak smile. "Would you like to come in and have a cup of tea?"

"Sure," I said forcing a smile. I walked back down the corridor and followed Remus into his office. He closed the door behind me, then went to the desk where he made a second chipped tea cup appear. He poured tea from a steaming pot into the cup and offered it to me. I took a seat as I thanked him, taking the cup from his fragile looking hands.

"What brings you to Hogwarts today?" asked Remus as he sat down behind his desk. I sipped the tea slowly, allowing the hot liquid to run down my throat and relax my system.

"Harry asked to speak to me," I whispered. "He might come to you next."

"Why is that?"

"He just discovered who Sirius is," I responded as I set down the tea cup on Remus' desk. I leaned on the arm of my wooden chair and rubbed my face. "This is a nightmare. He's upset with me, which I suppose is justified because I'm his Godmother. But what was I going to tell him? Especially with everyone walking on egg shells around him, like this type of news is going to send him into a blazing fury!"

Remus gave me a half smile because I was ranting.

"I don't think you did anything wrong, Cadence. He was going to find out sooner or later."

"I should have told him," I shook my head. "He should have known."

"Except that Dumbledore, and the Ministry, didn't want him to know," Remus shook his head. "Because they were afraid he would be sent into a blazing fury and seek revenge."

"Well they were right," I said leaning back in my chair. "He wants to kill Sirius."

Remus raised his eyebrows at me with some concern.

"I think it's just a first response," I shrugged. "He's angry that he hasn't been told the entire story concerning his parents' death. He's not just angry at Sirius, he's angry at those who have said they're protecting him. He feels betrayed. I can relate to that."

"Most of us can," Remus said.

I nodded with a small smile. Of course most of us could relate to being betrayed, especially by Sirius Black. I bit my lip and ran my hands through my hair, then picked up the cup of tea and finished it.

"This was not how I planned to begin the holiday," I sighed.

Remus gave me a smile and shrugged. "He was going to find out eventually."

"I suppose," I nodded. "Now we just have to make sure he doesn't go after Black."

"I'll keep an eye on him," Remus said. I nodded, thanking him and stood up. Remus stood up also.

"Have a Happy Christmas, Remus," I said coming around and hugging him. "We'll be in Hogsmeade if you'd like to stop by."

"I may," he said with a nod. "Tell Gabriel I say hello."

"I will," I smiled. "Thank you for listening."

"Of course," Remus beamed. "Anytime."

I thanked him again, and then made my way from the office. The halls of Hogwarts were quiet as I walked through them. Holiday had begun; the school was deserted because children had returned home to see their families over Christmas. As I exited the castle and made my way across the grounds I saw Harry, Ron and Hermione having a snow ball fight near Hagrid's hut. Hagrid stood outside the hut, watching the three play in the snow. I waved to him, and he waved back. On the side of the hut I could see Carrigan playing with Hector, the pair rolling in the snow. I smiled as I continued to the gates. It was good to see all of them enjoying the cheerful winter weather and their time off. I prayed silently as I walked through Hogsmeade, heading for the hotel, that the holiday would pass peacefully. I hoped Sirius wouldn't cause mayhem—I hoped we'd catch him before the New Year.