Carrigan and I sat on a bench outside a private ward in St. Mungo's. She was encased in my arms, as if they would protect her from the nightmare she was living. My head rested on hers as we rocked back and forth, comforting each other. I stroked her hair as she clung to the picture Gabriel had taken of the three us the week after Christmas. The happy picture was not a comfort for our tear stained cheeks. I looked up when the sound of footsteps reached my ears. Albus Dumbledore was walking down the corridor towards us, his emerald green robes sailing around him as he strode briskly. Carrigan sighed and hiccupped as I pulled away from her. I stood up and fixed my black blouse as the headmaster approached.
"Miss Coleman," he said with a bow of his head.
"Professor," I said as my voice shook. I motioned for him to enter the door across from the bench Carrigan and I had been sitting in.
"Mom, can't I come in?" Carrigan asked as tears welled up in her eyes again.
"No," I whispered shaking my head as Dumbledore opened the door. I followed him into the room as Carrigan's sobs reached my ears. I closed the door behind me and trapped my eleven year old in the empty corridor, alone.
"What do they think happened?" Dumbledore asked looking at me. I stopped before the curtain that surrounded Gabriel's bed and took a long breath. There was a moment's hesitation in me as I paused. I didn't want to pull back the curtain. I didn't want to see what wait behind it. No matter how many times I said it in my head, it all seemed so unreal. I felt Dumbledore's hand on my shoulder, causing me to look up at him. "Cadence?"
I sighed, coughed and reached out for the curtain. "They have no idea what happened," I pulled back the curtain to see Gabriel lying on a white bed, in medical issued cotton pants, not under a blanket or with socks or shirt on. His body was sweating profusely and his eyes remained closed, still stuck in REM. The rest of his body didn't move. He didn't even look like he was breathing.
"Rapid eye movement," Dumbledore said breathlessly. He approached the bed with two steps and stopped at Gabriel's side.
"He's been like that since I brought him here two days ago," I sighed as tears welled up in my eyes. "I don't understand what's happening—no one does—"
"What happened before you brought him in?"
"He just collapsed," I sighed. "He looked ill. He and Carrigan had just finished training and she got the best of him, knocked him around a bit. I joked he was getting too old. When he collapsed…I thought…I thought he was having a heart ache or something."
Dumbledore stepped around to the other side of the bed. I stood opposite him and took Gabriel's hand. It was cold and clammy. I bit my bottom lip as I looked at him with sorrowful eyes. There were tears on my cheeks and I didn't even notice. My fingers traced up Gabriel's arm, outline his sleeve tattoo. If he were awake it'd tickle him to have me touch him like that. Dumbledore was leaning over him; he opened Gabriel's left eye and I sighed at the sight. It was still a creamy white and silver color—solid, no iris or pupil could be seen. Dumbledore frowned and let Gabriel's eyelid close. He began to pace about the room and stopped for a moment, glancing at me and Gabriel at the bed.
"What, Professor?" I asked nervously.
"I think Gabriel is having a premonition," he responded.
I looked at him like he was crazy. "What?" I questioned. "You mean like Braven had?"
"Yes," Dumbledore nodded. "And Divinity."
"How is that possible?"
"Gabriel and Divinity share a small connection because he is her Guardian," Dumbledore shrugged. "It may be possible that she has the ability to pass premonitions on, just like it is possible to share memories with Legilimency."
I frowned and looked at Gabriel as Dumbledore continued to talk. "But Gabriel is not meant to receive premonitions. His mind probably can't handle it—so he goes into an overload, a shock, causing him to collapse. He has REM because he is trying to process the vision as quickly as it is happening, but he can't."
"Are you theorizing this?" I snipped with some frustration. I appreciated Dumbledore providing an answer to Gabriel's condition, he was the first to do so, but it was absolutely ridiculous. How could Gabriel be having a premonition? He wasn't capable of such powers—I didn't really believe that Divinity and Braven even were. I shook my head as I took Gabriel's hand and squeezed it.
"Yes," Dumbledore nodded. "We have no way of knowing until he wakes."
I shook my head and sighed. "Carrigan's scared," I whispered. I wiped my cheeks and stood up straight, trying to hide my tears. "She doesn't know what's going on—no one does, and I don't know what to tell her. Is he dead? Is he going to wake up?"
"I don't know," whispered Dumbledore. He seemed far away as he continued to speak. I wasn't looking at him, only Gabriel's face, hoping that if I stared at him long enough he would wake up. I squeezed his hand and traced the sleeve tattoo on his arm, trying to calm myself. "He's not dead, Cadence. He wouldn't be breathing and he wouldn't be experiencing REM."
I nodded to acknowledge him, but his words provided me with little comfort. I needed someone to tell me what was wrong with Gabriel and when he would wake up. I didn't need anyone telling me he was still alive, or that they didn't know what was wrong. I stood up straight and released Gabriel's hand as I stepped away from the bed. Quickly, I wiped my tears away and sighed.
"I have to get Carrigan back to school," I said. "The term starts tomorrow."
"Of course," Dumbledore nodded as he followed me out of the room. Carrigan stood up from the bench she was sitting on and wiped her cheeks as she looked at me and the Professor.
"Is he dead?" she chocked rubbing her forehead.
"No," I said quickly as I went to her. "No, he's not."
"He can't be," she said as if I hadn't answered her. "I told him he wasn't my real Father—that may be true but he would make an excellent Father. He's the closest thing I have and I really consider him my Dad—"
"Carrigan," I said smoothly as I held her shoulders. "He's not dead. He's just unconscious right now."
"When is he going to wake up?" she questioned with worry.
"We don't know," Dumbledore responded before I could. I frowned deeply and pulled Carrigan into my arms and she began to cry again.
"Come on," I whispered. "Come sit with him for a little before you have to go back to school."
She stood up straight and nodded, wiping her cheeks quickly as if she were afraid of Gabriel seeing her cry. I gave her a smile and took her hand, leading her back into the private ward. She dashed to Gabriel's bedside, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. She leaned over and kissed his forehead, then whispered something in his ear. I remained at the door to give her some privacy while she spoke to Gabriel. After a few more moments she came back to me, wiping her pink cheeks again.
"Alright?" I asked.
She nodded. "Do you think I can come back soon?"
"We'll see," I responded. She frowned and nodded her head knowing full well that my reply meant that she probably wouldn't come back to visit Gabriel until he woke up. I knew that she was going to be distracted and worried about him even if she was coming to visit him every week; but I was also worried that coming to see him would take away from her studies.
I ushered out into the hall and Dumbledore escorted us back to Hogwarts. Carrigan was reluctant to return to her dormitory, but she went eventually. I hoped being with her friends would brighten her up some, but once the term started and January slowly became February I found that she was still just as depressed as she was earlier in the year. I spent one night a week at Gabriel's bed side. I had a hard time bouncing back from his episode because suddenly I was alone. I found it difficult to do my job—watch Hogwarts, Hogsmeade and hunt Sirius Black, when I was worrying about Gabriel recovering. We didn't know when he would wake up—we didn't even know what was wrong. The only thing the doctor's could go on was that he had collapsed. Dumbledore and I had not told them about his possible connection to Divinity and her visions because they probably wouldn't believe us; and if they did they might take special interest into Gabriel and even Divinity. Seers were very rare in our society; they usually kept their premonitions a secret. Even in the world of magic there were still many unexplained things that were feared and discriminated against.
On Valentine's Day weekend I walked up to Hogwarts Castle, stomping through the many feet of snow that decorated the landscape. I had planned to visit Carrigan; it had been about two weeks since I had seen her despite the daily letters she sent asking if she could see Gabriel over the weekend. I replied to every letter, telling her no that I was going to come visit her instead. I don't think she was very happy about that, she didn't send a reply letter.
She met me in the Great Hall. She was sitting at the Gryffindor table, alone. The entire hall was empty, except for a ghost that was hovering over the professor's long table at the end of the hall. Carrigan looked up in my direction when she heard my boots clicking against the marble floor of the hall. She stood up as I approached her.
"Hi Mom," she said softly with her arms crossed behind her back. I smiled at her and hugged her, squeezing her tightly in my arms. She returned the hug, but not for very long, which didn't surprise me. It was obvious that she was still depressed about Gabriel's current state of health, and she wasn't happy about me not letting her see him.
"Hello Carrigan," I said. "Do you want to go for a walk?"
She nodded and took my hand as I led her out of the Great Hall. We made our way across the snow covered grounds, talking quietly. After awhile we walked out into Hogsmeade as the streets were full of people bustling about to their own busy schedules.
"Neal asked me to go out again," Carrigan whispered.
I looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Oh," was all I said.
"He felt bad about how he had reacted and wanted to make it up to me."
"What did you say?"
"I told him I don't believe in second chances," she shrugged. I smiled and shook my head. Carrigan was too much like me, and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing. I squeezed her shoulder and she looked up at me. "What's the matter?"
"Why don't you believe in second chances?" I asked.
"Well, he said that he couldn't handle dating someone who has a lot of baggage and is a freak," she responded. "My baggage isn't going anywhere. I think people never say things they don't mean…and he just doesn't want to be alone. Don't you think I'm to young to date Mom? Shouldn't you be putting a dating-age-restriction on me or something?"
"I do think you're too young to date, but when have you ever known me to tell you not to do something?" I asked. "Even if I put a dating-age-restriction on you, you could still very well be dating someone and not tell me because of this restriction. I'd rather you be honest with me and tell me."
"When have you ever known me not to tell you something?" Carrigan responded. I smiled at her and shrugged.
"I just don't want to force you to go behind my back," I said. "I want you to know and trust that you can always come to me, no matter what is going on."
"Well I'm going to put a dating-age-restriction on myself," she said. "I can't date until I'm fifteen. Does that seem reasonable?"
"It does," I nodded. "I think Gabriel would prefer eighteen, but please don't save yourself because of him."
"Eighteen is too long," Carrigan shook her head. "And impractical. How will not dating until I'm eighteen prepare me for the real world?"
"I think you're looking too far into this now Carrigan," I said.
"Right," she said smiling. "Fifteen it is though. No dating until then."
"If you say so," I grinned.
"Thanks Mom," Carrigan said wrapping her arms around me as we walked down the cobblestone street heading back for the Hogwarts gates. She seemed to be in a better mood once we reached the castle and said good bye, which pleased me. I didn't like my daughter being unhappy. She deserved to smile.
When I arrived back at the Three Broomsticks, Madame Rosmerta stopped me before I could go upstairs to my room. She called me over to the bar counter and held out a thick parchment envelope.
"This arrived an hour ago for you," she said with a small frown. I took the envelope and thanked her as I looked at my name on it. I recognized the hand writing and cringed slightly—it was from the Ministry; from my boss Rufus Scrimgeour.
"Thanks Rosmerta," I said with a nod. I quickly made my way up to my hotel room, where I threw my cloak onto the bed and went to the desk. Pulling my knife from my boot, I sliced open on the envelope. I placed the knife on the desk and pulled the contents of the letter out.
Dear Miss Coleman,
It has been brought to my attention that Gabriel Quintin has woken at St. Mungo's. He is currently well, with the exception that he appears to have a spell of amnesia. I know this sounds alarming, but the Healers are sure that his memory will return soon. I insisted to be the one to inform you of Gabriel's condition. You may also visit Gabriel as you please. The Healers suggested the most important people in his life visit him; it may help return his memory.
Because of his inability to return to work I'm inquiring if you will need a new partner? Protocol requires me to assign you a new partner, no Auror is to work independently unless the Minister gives special permission. I will file for permission if you wish me to. But, even if you file to work independently, the Minister has the right to dismiss the request. I know that you and Gabriel work best together, other partners have not worked for you in the past. Please reply as soon as possible with your decision.
Signed,
Rufus Scrimgeour
I placed the letter down on the desk and put my hand to my lips. I bit my fingers nervously as my mind raced. Gabriel was awake? My heart lifted and I felt myself smile. I looked at the letter again, slightly confused by half of it. Why wasn't Gabriel able to go back to work for the next few months? Was he requesting the time off or was Scrimgeour benching him? I grabbed my knife and dropped it back in my boot, then turned, grabbed my cloak off the bed and left the room. I exited the Three Broomsticks as I shoved by two hags coming through the door. I pulled my cloak onto my shoulders and Disapparated as it dramatically wrapped around me.
The lobby of St. Mungo's was crowded, which surprised me. I quickly made my way through the sick and injured people to the help desk where I told the woman I was there to see Gabriel Quintin. She frowned and said that she wasn't sure where he had been moved to, but he was no longer in his private ward.
"What do you mean you don't know where he is?" I questioned with frustration. She looked at me aggravated.
"In case you haven't noticed Ma'am, we're a bit busy," she retorted. I glared at her and opened my mouth to say something but someone called my name. I continued to glare at the woman and turned to see my boss Rufus Scrimgeour exiting from the staircase doors. His full thick hair surrounded his head, and his dark eyes were intense, worried and pained. I frowned and approached him, leaving the dumb woman behind the desk.
"Hello sir," I said shaking his hand and smiling.
"This way," he said motioning for me to follow him. I did as he headed back to the door that he had just come from. We started to go up the stairs in silence, which bothered me. Why wasn't he telling me about Gabriel?
"How long has he been awake? And what is this about him not being able to work?"
"He woke up early this morning," Scrimgeour said. We stopped on the second floor landing and he opened the door for me, letting me pass into the corridor. "I'm afraid he'll need some time off. In here, Miss Coleman."
Scrimgeour opened the door of a shared ward and allowed me to enter. He walked past two beds that had curtains around them and went to the last one. There was quiet talking in the room, which I bit my lip so not to disturb anyone. Scrimgeour pulled back the curtain and allowed me entrance.
Gabriel was sitting up in the bed as a young female healer poked his arm with a needle. She was drawing blood it appeared. Gabriel was still shirt less with his tattooed arms relaxed next to him.
"It's nearly impossible to find a vein, Mr. Quintin because of all your tattoos," the healer said.
"I'm very sorry," he said. "I have no idea why I have them."
The pretty healer with red curly hair and blue eyes smiled at Gabriel and continued to try and find a vein in his arm. They both looked up at Scrimgeour and I once we entered.
"Hello again," Gabriel said. "Sir," he added awkwardly.
"How are you feeling Gabriel?" asked Scrimgeour.
"Still not used to the name, but other then that I feel fine," Gabriel responded.
I blinked, staring at him confused. "Excuse me?" I questioned.
Scrimgeour looked at me with a deep frown. "Miss Coleman," he said softly as he rubbed his chin. "Mr. Quintin is suffering from amnesia."
"What?" I stammered as I looked at Gabriel with disbelief.
"He doesn't remember anything."
"I'm sitting right here Sir," Gabriel said sorely.
"There we go," the healer said. "I found one."
"Ah good," Gabriel said. "I was getting sick of you poking me Clara."
"I'm sorry," she said with pouting lips. Gabriel reached out and touched her cheek, causing me to roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.
"I don't think he has amnesia, Sir," I said scornfully. "He's just as flirtatious as the last time we were here."
"Well that's good right," Gabriel said still smiling at Clara, the healer.
"Does it help you remember anything?" Clara asked with batting eyes. I was going to gag.
"Maybe," Gabriel responded.
"You hate red heads," I said annoyed. "Ever since Anita—"
"I don't hate red heads," he said looking at me quickly as Clara pulled away from the bed and frowned deeply. She began to pick up her things to clear out of the room. "Who are you to know such things?"
I frowned and glanced at Scrimgeour. "Miss Coleman is your partner at the Ministry."
"We've known each other for nearly twenty years," I whispered.
"Doesn't mean you know me," Gabriel shook his head.
I bit my bottom lip, glancing at Scrimgeour again. I put my hands on the foot of the bed, gripping the sheets tightly. How could I possibly explain to Gabriel who I was? I couldn't tell him we were in love because he'd probably ask why we weren't together then—something I never had to explain to him before.
"If you will excuse me," I whispered. I turned and left the curtains that divided Gabriel's bed from the others. I marched straight out into the hall and let a small scared gasp escape my lips. I covered my mouth and leaned against the wall as tears began to run down my cheeks. How could this be happening? What was I going to do? How could I tell Carrigan? Gabriel and I were two complicated people—his story was complicated, our relationship was complicated…it wasn't something I could educate him in. And even if I told him, doesn't mean he'd believe it or feel like it was true to him. How could this be happening?