The house was still standing the next morning when Carrigan, Gabriel and I left for the train station but Carrigan and I weren't speaking to each other. When I had arrived in her bedroom she threatened to split the house again, trying to keep to her word.

"You're not going to split the house," I told her crossly. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" she glared at me as she sat on the edge of her bed.

"I don't know when you became such a smart ass teenager, but I'm sure it happened sometime between last September and now," I snapped back at her. "I came up here to tell you not to make the same mistakes I did. Don't be a coward when it comes to love. I am an excellent witch, and excellent Auror and I know you will be too. You are an excellent young witch already, Carrigan. But you can be an excellent woman also. Don't be afraid of love, friendship and trust. Follow your instincts, but be an extraordinary woman, not just an extraordinary witch."

I nodded my head once with approval, mostly to reassure myself that I had said everything I wanted to. Carrigan was silent as she looked at the floorboards of her bedroom. She was rubbing her toes together, pigeon toed, and childlike. I took her silence as an acknowledgment of my comment and turned to leave.

"Mom," she said as I opened the bedroom door. I paused and looked at her. "You're only a coward now because you're still not with him, because you're afraid of getting hurt. Just leap…he loves you."

I couldn't help but smile. "I know," I whispered. "You should start packing."

I turned and left the bedroom after that. There was no point of getting into the conversation about my relationship with Gabriel again. We loved each other…what else did we need?

"Finish out the school year strong," Gabriel advised as we walked down the dirt path away from Hogsmeade towards the gates of Hogwarts. "Don't do anything stupid now, you need to focus on your end of year exams."

"Alright," Carrigan sighed with some annoyance as Gabriel pushed open the gate for her. "I'll do fine."

I smiled and folded my arms over my chest, watching her as she readjusted her bag on her shoulder. She looked up at Gabriel with smiling dark blue eyes and stood on her toes as she threw her arms around his broad shoulders. Gabriel embraced her tightly, picking her up of the ground to stand up straight and squeeze her.

"I love you, Gabe," she beamed as she leaned her head back.

"I love you too, Carri," he whispered as he placed her back on the ground and kissed her forehead. She looked at me for a moment and motioned for Gabriel to lean his head down to her. He did so, but she still had to stand on her toes to whisper in his ear. I gave them a suspicious look as they pulled away from each other and Gabriel nodded his head.

"I'll do my best," he said holding up his balled fist. Carrigan balled her fist and pressed it against Gabriel's.

"Thanks," she said.

I walked forward and hugged Carrigan before she could object. I gave Gabriel a studying look and he smirked at me.

"I love you Carrigan," I said.

"I love you too, Mom," she beamed. "We're strong girls."

"The strongest," I nodded. She pulled out of my arms and waved as she walked down the gravel path away from us and heading for Hogwarts castle. Once she was out of ear shot I turned to Gabriel who was smiling proudly at Carrigan as she walked away. I pinched his arm and he looked down at me with wide eyes.

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"What was that whispering about?" I questioned.

Gabriel smirked. "I'm not going to tell you."

I glared at him and tried to enter his mind with Legilimency, but he was blocking me. He laughed out loud and shook his head, turning away.

"Gabriel!" I yelled following him up the path back towards the village. The gates of Hogwarts closed shut once we were away from them with a load clang, making me jump. Gabriel looked at me with a calm smile as I called after him.

"Jumpy are we?" he asked.

"Did she tell you to keep going at me?" I questioned. "Don't give up on knocking me up?" I laughed lightly at my own question as Gabriel peered at me.

"Perhaps," he said calmly. I studied him, knowing very well that whatever Carrigan had said to him had to do with my relationship to him. "I didn't have the heart to tell her that we've never had sex so the chances of us having a kid were slim to none."

"The chances of me having a child ever are slim to none," I responded walking next to Gabriel. "I was lucky to get pregnant to begin with, and Carrigan is lucky to be alive considering Ondrea Cane went knife crazy on my stomach."

Gabriel nodded his head in acknowledgment as we entered Hogsmeade Village.

"Did you want to go see Sirius?" he asked very quietly.

"What? Why?" I asked looking at him oddly.

"I just thought you two might have something to talk about," Gabriel shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets. I bit my bottom lip as I turned away from him, wrecking my mind to figure out what I could possibly need to talk to Sirius about. "We haven't told him that Pettigrew has been missing since he attacked Weasley a few months ago."

I frowned slightly. I didn't really want to go see Sirius just because he would probably be grumpy and hateful towards Gabriel. Also, I didn't want to go alone because then my feelings for him would return and I'd be just as caught as I was years ago. I never understood how I could possibly be so torn and indecisive. Both Sirius and Gabriel deserved better. Well maybe Sirius didn't deserve better now because he left me years ago, but he did deserve better when we were together.

"Maybe you should tell him that," said Gabriel. I turned and glared at him darkly. He smirked and shook his head. "And tell him about Carrigan."

"I hate you," I said shaking my head. "And I'll tell him when I feel like telling him."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and scratched his chin as we stopped in the road. "I have to go to work. You got the day off, but I did not."

I nodded slowly as I looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed my cheek lightly. "We're being watched," he whispered in my ear as he pulled away. I nodded my head again as I looked up at him with concerned eyes. "A big black dog."

I sighed with relief and turned to look over my shoulder. Sirius Black was sitting in his dog form in the opening of an alley next to some trashcans and empty boxes. I looked directly at him, his midnight blue dog eyes locking with mine for a moment.

"You kissed me on purpose," I said as I turned to Gabriel.

"No," Gabriel shook his head. "If I was going to gloat in front of Sirius, like he had so many times in front of me, I would have kissed you full on the mouth."

"Oh," I smirked as I crossed my arms over my chest. "And why aren't you?"

"Because," he leaned in and kissed my lips quickly. "I'm not a bragging man."

I laughed out loud and nodded my head. "Oh okay," I said still smiling. Gabriel beamed at me and pinched my elbow.

"I'll see you at home, tonight," he said.

"Of course," I nodded my head. "See you later."

I turned and started to walk back down the dirt road towards the woods between the village and the Shrieking Shack. I looked over my shoulder to see Sirius following me, along the line of buildings well hidden in the shadows. Gabriel Disapparated in the middle of the street with a last wave at me, and I waved back. Once I entered the forest, I weaved through the trees quickly, stomping on the muddy ground, twigs and dead leaves that covered the forest floor. I could hear Sirius behind me still on his four legs as twigs snapped and leaves rustled under his weight. There was a moment then all movement stopped, except my own and then it sounded like two feet were following me, not four.

I stopped in the middle of my stride on the side of the hill in front of the shack and turned to see a shadowy figure descending from the top of the hill, moving through the trees with ease as their cloak billowed in the cool spring wind. My breath caught in my chest as Sirius Black approached, occasionally touching the tree trunks as he curved around them. He was wearing his Azkaban robes still along with the black cloak I had brought him a month ago. The top of his shirt was cut low reveal the many tattoos on his chest, which even from a distance, caused me to sigh with desire. His beard was a little out of control, despite the grooming utensils I had given him, matching his wild long black hair.

He came to a pause in front of me, looking at me with dark memorizing midnight blue eyes. Slowly, he extended his hands to me and touched my cheeks, rubbing his thumbs over my smooth cheek bones. His eyes smiled once he touched my skin. I raised my eyebrows at him, questioning his touch, and causing him to speak.

"It's funny how the roles have reversed for Gabriel and me," he whispered moving his hand to stroke my hair. "He has you and I don't. Now I know how he felt on the outside of our relationship."

"No," I whispered shaking my head. "You don't—because I'm not with him, nor do I love you."

Sirius frowned deeply and pulled his hands away from my face and hair. I sighed slightly because when he stopped touching me I felt a chill run through my body. He was frowning deeply at me and wearing a sad expression in his eyes. I saw deep pain in him that I had never noticed before. It was finally sinking in to him that I wasn't in love with him anymore; that I had moved on.

"You couldn't have expected me to wait," I whispered sadly. "You left me, then you were accused of killing our best friends—how could I wait through that?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and side stepped around me, heading down the slippery muddy hill. "You shouldn't have lost faith in me," he said over his shoulder as he walked away. I sighed and turned, knowing this argument was not going to end well.

"Yes," I admitted. "I shouldn't have lost faith in you about Lily and James' deaths—but Sirius, honestly, do you blame me? If you were in my situation, would you have done things differently?"

"I like to think I would have," he said as he jumped the fence and making his way onto the property of the Shrieking Shack. "But I suppose I wouldn't know until it happened to me."

When we arrived in the old house I removed my cloak and threw it on the dusty bed in the bedroom, where Sirius seemed to live. The rest of the house was as dusty as ever; cat and dog paw prints and Gabriel's and my footprints decorated the floor. I was surprised that Crookshanks, Hermione Granger's cat, was not to be found in the bedroom of the shack.

"Where is your orange tabby friend?" I asked as I sat down on the edge of the bed. A cloud of dust lifted off the bed around me, causing me to cough. Sirius laughed casually at me as he removed his cloak and threw it on the floor in the corner of the room.

"Don't know," he shrugged. I caught him taking in my appearance with those dark blue eyes of his. He was studying my neck line and cleavage; there was a certain memory of desire and lust in his eyes that made my stomach turn. Rather suddenly, he pivoted and made his way across the room, from the window where he had been standing, straight to me. He touched my neck and leaned his head down, kissing me square on the mouth, deeply and passionately. I froze underneath him, stunned by his actions and lustful kissing. He leaned over me, pressing me back into the bed and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me even more deeply as we lay on the bed. I didn't kiss him in return—how could I? But, stupidly, I didn't stop him either.

Sirius planted a few more soft tender kisses before he pulled his lips away and sat up slightly over me. We were both lying half on the bed with our legs hanging off. Sirius was standing, bent over as he laid his thin body on me. There was sadness in his eyes as he looked me straight in the face.

"You really don't love me anymore," he whispered seriously. I wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in reply. The lie rolled off of my tongue so effortlessly I thought it was scary. "You left me…I had to get over you."

Sirius stood up off of me and moved back to the window. He leaned against its frame and stared out at the backyard of the shack's property. He closed his eyes and hung his head, appearing completely defeated. I sighed as I sat up on the bed and folded my hands, feeling horrible about what had just happened. I looked down at the ground and sighed lightly.

"Pettigrew has been missing since you attacked Weasley in his dormitory," I whispered.

"I figured," he nodded as he stared out the window. "You didn't come back that day you were here…I figured Pettigrew had gotten away."

"We'll find him, Sirius," I said softly as I stood up.

"If Pettigrew was any kind of smart he'd be long gone from this place," Sirius responded while shaking his head.

"It's a good thing he isn't very smart then," I said. "He's still here, Sirius. I can feel it in my bones."

Sirius looked at my sharply. "Really? In your bones? Your gut? How reliable are those considering they told you that I was guilty and Pettigrew was innocent!"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. Apparently we were always going to fight about this—just like before when we always fought about my relationship with Gabriel; I picked my cloak up off the bed and pulled it on.

"I'm going to be heading out then," I said ruthlessly. "I'm not having this fight with you again."

Before I could get to the bedroom door, Sirius reached me, grabbing my arm and pulling me around.

"We have to have it again because the problems have not been resolved," he yelled holding onto me tightly. I glared at him as the floor began to vibrate below my feet. Sirius was glaring at me viciously, with a dark circle of hatred burning in his midnight eyes. My stomach turned and I had to fight every desire I had to punch him, break his jaw and nose, and even kick him to the floor.

"Sirius," I whispered with a hissing sound as I tried to control my voice. If I spoke any louder I would scream and the walls of the Shrieking Shack would no doubt collapse around us. "Release me or I will kill you."

"You couldn't kill me," he said pushing me away. He turned on his heel and walked back to the window to stare out of it. "You can beat the shit out of me with your words and your betrayal, but you can't kill me."

"My betrayal?" I questioned stepping forward. "How the hell did I betray you?"

"You gave up on me!"

"YOU LEFT ME!" I screamed in frustration causing the walls to shake and dust to fly everywhere in the room. The floorboards creaked below our feet and the four poster bed collapsed as one of the legs of its frame broke with my anger. "I owe you nothing, Sirius Black! Nothing! You walked out on me because I wasn't ready to marry you! You made that decision on your own, and you have to take responsibility for it."

Sirius stood up straight and crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at me. If Sirius was capable of my powers I probably would have spontaneously combusted with the look he was giving me.

"You betrayed me when we were together," was all he muttered.

"I never cheated on you," I yelled. "What I did was worse and I'm not proud of it. I loved you and Gabriel for years—I loved you when you left me. I loved you when you hurt me. I loved you when you made me feel like shit. And I always came home to you—and I am sorry for that. But you can't hold it against me anymore because you left."

"I left because you were an indecisive whore!" he screamed suddenly. "How can you blame me for leaving? You were spreading yourself thin between Gabriel and me—I'm sorry that you loved us but you couldn't have both of us. It doesn't work that way."

My eyes were bulging wide because of what Sirius had just said. I couldn't believe he would even say such things to my face. How dare he? Who did he think he was to call me a whore when he knew nothing of my relationship with Gabriel?

"Two weeks after you were arrested I found out I was pregnant," I said coldly. "There is no doubt that the child is yours. I'm telling you because everyone in my life seems to think you have a right to know. If you look at her there will be no question that she is yours."

Silence wrapped around me in the bedroom as I glared at Sirius. His eyes were wide in shock and disbelief. He was not expecting me to say anything like this.

"We're done," I said scornfully. "I never want to see you again."

I turned on my heel and walked out of the bedroom, shaking from head to two. I wanted to scream and yell—fight some more, but I couldn't. He was destroying me with everything he said; everything we had been. I had no energy left to fight with him. I didn't want to have anything to do with Sirius anymore. This was the last straw, and I was tired of fighting with him or for him when he was just going to call me a thinly-spread-whore.