I'm sorry for it being almost four months since I last updated this, but i've been busy. I have been working on this for months and finally wrapped up this chapter which is extremely lengthy. I packed a lot action and emotion into this chapter. Hope you all enjoy it! R&R!
Chapter 28
As Rosalie suspected, the others still remained in their positions when she had snuck off to find Emmett almost two hours ago and still mourning solemnly not evening glancing up to notice Rosalie and Emmett standing in front of them. Rosalie and Emmett exchanged intrigued glances at they silently commuted whether to leave them and head back to the house for them or interrupt them form their grieving session. Silently arguing with their glances, they came to the decision to return back to the house and patiently wait for them in the living room which would give them more time to come to acceptance with their loss that was heavily affecting them. Rosalie became edgy to confront Bella who was left back at the Cullen house before the rest of them pursued Emmett and Edward into the woods several hours ago. For the time being, the Cullens would fabricate a story about Edward taking a long hunting trip instead of breaking the news to her that Edward was dead. Bella handle the fabricated story much better than news about her love being dead. All newborn vampires should be dealt with delicately so that they are not informed of alarming news that would send them into a mad frenzy. The mad frenzy and intense burn for fresh blood was not lethal when combined particularly for any humans that came in contact with the newborn vampire. Rosalie remember all to well her experience as a newborn that was insanely difficult to control her emotions and insistent longing human blood, and without the aid of Carlisle it would have been much worse with several humans getting slaughtered in the process.
Emmett squeezed her hand reassuringly as they entered the front lawn of the house exiting the woods. Rosalie was freaking out as they drew nearer especially as she stood on the front porch her panic in full gear. Bella sat hugging her knees to her chest rocking back and forth on the carpet in the living room as she muttered random statements in a hushed tone. Bella quit her rocking back and forth with her back stiffening in alarm as she sensed people in the room remaining motionless and ready to attack if needed.
Bella growled in a low tone.
"Bella," Emmett calmly spoke. "You are not in any danger it is just Rosalie and I."
She stopped growling and slowly swiveled around rising to her feet to stand nearby them. Skeptically, Bella scrutinized their facial expressions and stances assessing if she should regard them as a threat or not. "Where are the others?" she demanded impatiently crossing her arms tightly across her chest with her scarlet eyes staring intensely at them.
"They are just taking a leisure stroll with Edward calming him down and we were told to return back to house to check up on how you were doing," Emmett lied through his teeth showing.
"Thanks you guys take your own precious time no worries about me and my sanity! How the hell do you suppose I feel?" Bella spouted out angrily with her red pupils blazing with thirst. "I need blood! Those damn blood baggies are disgusting!"
"They will return in a couple hours and then one of us will take you out hunting." Emmett kept steady eye contact with Bella softening his gaze to remove her guard that was making her act hostile against them. Paranoia was a typical side effect that developed in a newborn vampire as their body is rapidly adjusting to their transformation and the vampire instinct and senses kick in.
"I want to hunt now!" she exclaimed incensed flailing her arms.
"You have to learn to control you thirst early on or it will cause much trouble for you later on while adjusting to being a vampire in your early stages of eternal life." Bella was more stubborn than he had expected making his task challenging to handle, but with fragile methods Bella would drop her guard and become easier to deal with.
"Don't talk to me about control damnit! You are going to take me hunting now otherwise I am going alone and I do not care. My thirst is severe and I can not control myself if I don't get fresh blood into my system as soon as possible!"
"I am not going to take you anywhere not until the others return. Once Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper are back that is when we can discuss about any sorts of hunting arrangements," Emmett stated firmly yet gently.
Rosalie stood still like an elegant stone statue besides Emmett as she listened to their quarrel with Bella's thirst making her quite testy and volatile. She was not able to muster up enough courage to confront Bella in her current irrational and unstable state. Emmett and Bella maintained an epic staring contest with neither blinking nor moving their glances away from each other while they bickered.
"I can easily get by you because you can not keep me trapped in this house as I starve and burn with my persistent thirst. I am much stronger than you right now and that means you cannot easily hold me down without me kicking you ass," Bella bluntly stated her hands placed firmly on her hips.
"That may be the case but I have more experience than you trumping your immature experience in hunting and dealing with my control over my vampire instincts and needs. I will not let you go hunting by yourself you are endangering innocent human life and revealing your identity to other people you will come in contact with whether they are human or vampire."
"This is inhumane torture keeping me locked in this house while I suffer of thirst!" she stated highly irritated with Emmett, who was being completely stubborn with her, as her scarlet eyes glared bitterly at him."
Emmett bellowed a laugh at her comment. "Oh that is rich!" he noted comically. "Inhuman torture? You are not a human anymore thus we are not inflicting any inhumane torture of any sort upon you that you cannot handle."
Bella began to verbalize something when the door swung open with Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme standing in the doorway utterly baffled at the dispute occurring that they could hear loud and clear several miles away. Emmett and Bella stayed in their position keeping fixed stares on each other while arguing, even though both of them could sense the rest of the Cullens had returned from the woods it did not cease the argument or staring with such intensity sizing up each other. Rosalie half-turned around to note the presence of them and then back to intently observing Emmett and Bella as her edginess and nerves only worsened along with paranoia setting back in.
Carlisle broke the silence. Clearing his throat loudly, he stated in his usual calming tone, "Thank you Emmett for dealing with Bella while you waited for us to return and Bella you need to take a deep breath and calm down."
Emmett and Bella broke their fixed stares in the staring contest now focusing their gazes on Carlisle. Emmett guided Rosalie towards the living room settling comfortably on the couch as she lay in his arms while he cradled her soothingly. Bella snarled at Carlisle staying locked in her position refusing to move and calm down. Alice and Jasper crept along on either side of Carlisle ready to pin Bella down in effort to prevent her from attacking them in her unpredictable state as her emotions flailed rampantly lacking control and restraint.
Esme witness the chaos occurring no just with Bella's new adjustment to being a newborn vampire but along with the dense tension that clung in the air like a rain cloud looming above their heads. It broke her heart to see her family experiencing such tragedy after the loss of a beloved brother and son. All the Cullens had unanimously agreed that for a few years they would not tell Bella that Edward was dead for it would make her transition period of her newborn stage even more precarious and unstable making it worse to handle. Until Carlisle and Esme felt Bella was capable of maintaining and controlling her emotions, Bella would have to believe what they told her, though it wouldn't be difficult as Bella thoroughly trusted the Cullens. The Cullens was like her second family besides her own hereditary family she was born into. Esme was overwhelmed with many emotions that it was making it difficult to even feign a normal composure without hinting something was wrong with her. Just like vampire powers can be a gift at times, same concept goes for that it can be a curse to have them. Though her power was compassion and not as powerful as Alice's premonition or her former son's telepathy, Esme felt the brunt of the current situation swirl around her in a whirlwind of confusion causing much difficulty to logically reason and feign a shred of normality for Bella's sake.
Bella did not move from her defensive stance, but neither did she even intend on attacking Carlisle. Her thirst was making it impossible to maintain any sanity and composure as it made insistent reminders of it more often that Bella would have preferred. Alice ambled silently besides Bella placing a comforting hand on her arm as Bella moved her gaze from Carlisle to Alice. Her perkiness that typically radiated off of her was suppressed by a gloomy cloud of sadness that dwelled in her dark topaz eyes. "Bella I understand that you want to go hunting and that you are quite thirsty," Alice began in a serious tone keeping eye contact with her.
Bella interrupted rudely adding, "If you keep mentioning that I'm so damn thirsty, it only gets worse! I need to go hunting or I swear I have no problem getting through that door and run into those woods!"
"You need to stop thinking about your hunger or it will drive you crazy. I cannot allow you to go out there unprepared as you test your new abilities and heightened senses. We are doing this for your own safety! We have all gone through the newborn vampire stage, some of us had it bit more rough than others yet we managed to obtain great levels of control which is why we can be around humans easier than the usual rogue vampire who is not vegetarian," Alice firmly lectured Bella.
"I can't get any sense of control if this hunger isn't quenched soon!" Bella fired back at Alice.
Jasper was standing besides to Carlisle exchanging a wordless conversation with him as they watched Alice try to calm Bella down. If Alice could not get Bella to chill out, Jasper and Carlisle would have to go to measures that would force her to calm down against her will, but neither of them wanted to resort to that if it was possible.
"You are letting your hunger get the best of you, and you can't let it win! Fight it, Bella!" Alice exclaimed raising her voice in concern as Bella still was resistant to becoming calm. It was if the Bella she knew was not there anymore for a new Bella had possessed her with a temperamental state.
"I am done fighting it! I am no losing any remaining patience I still have after being trapped in this house for nearly 12 hours! I will have no issue getting past of you and outside of this house with my newborn vampire strength that it is stronger than all of yours!" Bella yelled passionately with thick rage in her voice.
"You may be stronger than us all, Bella," Alice stated frankly doing her best not to give up hope on Bella that was seemed to still be a lost cause. "But you haven't learned the practice of control that all of us have and cultivated over several years of practice. It is a thorny process and can be more than you are capable of doing on your own. We can all help you through this. You do not have to go through this by yourself."
"I can get this practice if you let me go hunting! How can you all just stand around there gawking at me while I am suffering here?"
You think this is suffering. This isn't even the worst of the process it is just the beginning of a long road for you, Jasper mentally added.
Drawing a long sigh, Jasper and Carlisle glance on last time at each other as both of them mustered the strength to do what had to be done. Bella was completely incapable of being calm as she was only getting testier and aggressively agitated towards them as they attempted as best they could to peacefully get her to calm down. Jasper stealthily sauntered forward towards the small table that was against the wall with the large oval mirror hovering above it and silently opened it drawing out a needle. The needle was highly specialized that it could puncture a vampire's tough skin. The syringe contained a concoction with a liquid containing a clear fluid that gave fiery sensations to the vampire that it made them feel that they were burning from the inside. Carlisle had created it few months back in case of emergency had to be used on a vampire that tried to endanger Bella, but now it seemed that the syringe originally intended to protect Bella would be used for Bella that would protect her from herself. Carlisle had forced himself to get accustomed to being around blood as he pursued to become a doctor despite being a vampire. In most cases, he could do this deed, but with the needle now going to be used on Bella it made that harder to just inject her with the syringe like he normally is able to do gently when dealing with his human patients. This was for Bella sake as she was being quite defiant towards them and lashing out though she is not intentionally doing so for it is her hunger that is making her act this way. Jasper handed the syringe to Carlisle as he stared at it for a few moments getting as he embarked on using the invention intended to help save Bella now against her own willpower yet it was for her own good in the end. Jasper already knew he had to have a blood baggie with him once the fluid from the needle got into Bella system. She would endure much more pain than she was much intensity as she would have no control over her emotions. It was vital that Jasper had the blood baggies at hand or the serum would kill Bella within ten minutes as it was fast acting agent.
Esme became worried when she saw her husband holding a needle in his hands tucked behind him. Instantly, she recognized the peculiar object as the invention he had been slaving on for weeks intensely months ago. He had not briefed her on the full extent of the purpose and details of this invention, but Esme knew enough of the usage of it and how it affected the vampire. She strode besides him and murmured in a worried tone, "Why do you have that thing with you, dear? Are you planning on using it on Bella?"
He stared painstakingly into Esme's eyes and answered glumly and terse without further explaining to his wife as he could barely find a way to justify his actions to himself, "Unfortunately, yes."
Esme saw it was difficult for Carlisle to do this especially to Bella. No matter what none of them the ones who had attempted to talk Bella down calmly was working out well. At this point, Bella would have to force against her will to become calmer. Esme gave Carlisle's hand a reassuring squeeze before he let go of her hand clutching onto the syringe exchanged a terse glance with Jasper as he got into place for his role in the task. Alice and Bella were still discussing or at least Alice was still discussing while Bella was angrily shouting at Alice. Jasper strode towards Alice who remained to keep her composure even though Bella yelling at her was slowly hurting her feelings inside. Jasper snakes his arm around her petite waist and whispered tenderly, "Hunny, you do not have to continue to try anymore. This is taking a toll on you I know you feel deeply hurt by what Bella is saying, but this is not the real Bella. This is the unruly hunger talking which is making Bella out of her usual character. Bella is not saying this intentionally to hurt your feelings. Just go stand with Esme and I will take care of this."
Alice stared soulfully at Jasper her grimace set on her small-pixy face. Jasper sighed and approached Bella who was now glaring with great hostility towards him without him even saying one word yet. Carlisle crept silently behind waiting for the right moment to caught Bella off her guard when she least expects it. Newborn vampires have heightened senses particularly hearing and sight. Cautiously, Carlisle moved closer behind Bella making sure that he stayed at least on foot away or the plan would fail as she would sense him behind her turning around. Jasper was talking to her in a soothing voice distracting her quite well that Bella let her guard down.
"Bella I know what you are going through right now. You have to listen to us because we are on side, not here to cause you any harm. I spend many years as an uncontrolled rogue vampire travelling around with a typical vampire who taught me survival skills and techniques while manipulating me for my power as I was useful for doings. Years passed that I was alongside her as she raised an army of newborn vampires for her own bidding and plans. You can trust us. We only want to see that this newborn phase goes smoothly for you as we had to learn by trial and error. You are lucky that you have other vampires especially us who are here to assist you."
Bella blinked as she tried to take in the information as the rage and hunger still boiled in her blood. Part of Jasper's speech got to her and she knew they are only trying to help her, but it no point of she doesn't go hunting to subdue the hunger overwhelming her. Bella opened her mouth then closed it. "I've had enough of this lecturing. I know you all are only supporting and helping me through this, but it is useless if I'm kept inside while this damn thirst drives me mad!" she burst out irately flailing her arms about.
Carlisle realized that Bella was slowly going insane as that thirst was driving her ferocity within her. Removing the cap from the syringe Carlisle discarded on the flood and staring at the needle.
Jasper placed his hands firmly on Bella's shoulders as he kept her grounded even though she attempted to get out of his grip as Jasper rammed her against the wall. "Bella I hate to do this, but this is for your good," he said hesitantly as he glanced quickly at Carlisle signaling him.
Carlisle approached Bella and stabbed the needle in her neck cringing as he stuck it in. The needle slowly went into her skin past the tough outer layer that a vampire has and deeper till the liquid in the syringe course within her bloodstream within minutes. Carlisle pulled the syringe out of her neck haphazardly tossing it on the floor. At first, Bella felt nothing but within couple minutes she felt a fiery burning from within her as her body felt it was being light from the inside. Jasper let go of her shoulders and instantly Bella collapsed to the ground seizing violently clutching her stomach.
"The fire! It burns! Make it stop!" she exclaimed her voice straining to speak and filled with pain. The pain from the scorching liquid concoction only intensified more. The burning that Bella was experiencing that made if feel that she was literally on fire from the inside was ten times worst that her thirst that was still burning in her throat yet more fiercely as ever. Bella thrashed on the floor squirming around constantly unable to keep still even for a second. Alice and Esme stood utterly still watching in horror as they witnessed Bella endure unbearable painful surge of burning throughout her entire body. Carlisle cringe repulsed at his own actions. It should not have come down to this. The syringe is much more potent than I expected it to be.
Jasper dashed to the kitchen that was past the family room, where Rosalie and Emmett still sat on the couch away from all the action occurring in the foyer. Effortlessly opening the refrigerator, Jasper pulled out the several chilled bags of blood stored inside and using his razor sharp teeth to tear the blood baggie open. He poured the blood into a coffee mug and warmed it in the microwave so it would lukewarm to semi-satisfy Bella's raging thirst. Carlisle was always prepared with excess amount of blood baggies that was being kept for when it was time for Bella's transformation. Her transformation had come sooner than all had expected particularly Edward, but the rest of them were managing adjusting to his change. Bella had it much worse dealing with her dramatic new lifestyle and appetite. It would take awhile before all the Cullens could fully get used to the new Bella. It took several months usually for a typical newborn vampire to completely adjust with their condition and return to a somewhat normality with not as much erratic mood swings and emotions that could change in an instant as they could be easily riled up and angered. Jasper grabbed the warm mug of blood from the microwave hastening toward the foyer where Carlisle was tending to Bella.
Carlisle crouched beside Bella who was still having slight spasm as he waited for her to stop squirming around thus making it hard to inject her with the antidote with the syringe containing the flaming liquid insinuating an intense burning within the vampire's blood. If she didn't stop wriggling in searing pain surging throughout her bloodstream in her body, Carlisle had no other option but to give Bella the antidote otherwise the flaming liquid from the needle would kill her for sure. Esme and Alice clung to each other barely managing to witness this scene cringing at horror with the intense side effects that Bella was clearly displaying with her thrashing even though it wasn't as violent as it was initially. Within a couple minutes, Bella completely stopped moving laying utterly still on the floor paralyzed appearing dead, but she wasn't yet only if she lay in the paralysis for a couple more minutes as the liquid rages through her body ultimately shutting down her vampire system completely. Painstakingly, Carlisle stuck the antidote at the same spot of her neck the syringe had been stabbed previously. The antidote was intended to jumpstart the vampire from their paralysis allowing them to slowly recover to their normal vampiric state which affects their speed and reactions. Carlisle, Jasper, Esme, and Alice watched Bella scrutinizing her hoping she would respond to the antidote soon. Carlisle took the mug from Jasper ripping it out of his death grip as he observed Bella anxiously. Esme and Alice did the best to maintain their uneasy glance at Bella just lying still on the floor not yet moving even slightly and exchanged worrisome glances between them.
Bella softly groaned and shifted painfully from her state of paralysis struggling to begin to move her fingers causing her to moan louder agonizingly. Her fingers gradually stretched as the moved on to attempting to bend her knees that was more excruciating than she expected. It was as if Bella was trying to bend her arms and legs that felt like stiff metal piping. Jasper, Alice, Esme, and Carlisle had sighed a huge sigh of relief to see Bella finally moving after minutes of no response that felt like felt like days waiting for any sign of movement from her. It took almost half and hour before Bella managed to get up off the floor and sat upright her back facing them. Bella cautiously stretched out her arms around and shook the paralysis from her legs somehow coping with simple movement not yet back to normal vampire senses. Baffled, Bella reoriented herself with her surroundings as she lost had lost all consciousness after the onset of the syringe. Any events that happen during that fiasco, Bella had no capability of recalling clearly as it was hazy, but everything else before that are quite clear. Jasper, Alice, Esme, and Carlisle stared wide eyed at her frozen still as a statue with a faint smile now plastered their faces as their fright of possibly losing Bella no longer visible on their facial expressions. Alice was beaming with sheer relief as her eyes shined of joy as the embraced Jasper giddily that Bella had not died. They had already lost a beloved son and brother among their family. Most of the Cullens considered Bella as a part of their family including her in their lives that sometimes put her in danger because of her close association with vampires even if they were "vegetarian". Bella oddly glanced at Alice, Esme, Jasper, and Carlisle a bit taken aback by their particularly giddy mood not recalling any memory that they had watched her closely with her almost brush with death after being stuck with the syringe of vile substance that caused such torture and pain within Bella.
Hoarsely, Bella spoke in a somewhat low voice as it cracked a bit, "What happened? Why do you all look so relieved as if the apocalypse had been stopped or something? I feel I missed out on a detail that would clarify this confusion I have. And why the hell am I lying on the ground and not to mention the fact that I feel sore all over along with my arms and legs stiff like steel. It is as if I've been run over by a speeding eighteen wheeler truck."
There was a silence as they gaped at here still with hope and joy shining on their faces.
Without explaining anything to the disoriented Bella, Alice moved from her statuesque pose and leapt forward to kneel besides Bella. "You are alive, Bella! I don't know what I was going to do if I lost you! I love you like my own sister! Don't give us a panic attack like that again ever!" Alice exclaimed impassioned shaking Bella to emphasize her immense concern and sheer jubilant state over Bella still being alive. Alice went on a rant as all her emotions of the ordeal she had just witnessed bubbled out of her.
Alice's avid rant only confused Bella more than she already was. Looking at Alice and tersely to the Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle standing few feet behind Alice, Bella stared utterly baffled not remotely sure of what was occurring around her. Carlisle could read from Bella's facial expression that their emotional state of elation was overwhelmed Bella who was also not sure of what had happened previously. It seemed that the fiery sensations that were immediate side effects of the contents in the syringe worked perfectly as he had hoped it would when Carlisle was designing it months back. The contents of the liquid in the syringe would onset a severe case of memory loss that the person who was injected with its contents would not remember clearly of the events while the liquid fluid caused them to burn from the inside out. This would baffle this unfortunate person that they would not be able to recall who had attacked them preventing them from avenging the people who had tortured them or that was if the vampire even survived. The liquid within the syringe was created to be fast acting and kill the vampire within a time span of thirty minutes as they would severely suffer. Fire was fatal and quite a dangerous agent to vampires which made it their worst enemy.
Carlisle sauntered graciously towards Alice and placed his hand on her shoulder. Alice shifted her gaze that was glued on Bella as she swiveled around to look at Carlisle, who had a serious face yet was looking at Alice lovingly with his topaz eyes. He started in his normal calm tone with his hand still resting on Alice's shoulder, "Alice, I know you are overjoyed of Bella pulling through and surviving that, but you must understand she is feeling completely overwhelmed as she is slowly coming back to consciousness. We are just as relieved of Bella being alive, but let us not perplex her the moment she becomes conscious and attempted to put together the pieces of what has just happened to her for her memory is working overtime to recall it. Her memory of the events during that time is really hazy and unclear. Let me explain to Bella of the events that transpired here not too long ago."
Alice nodded and rose to her feet shuffling back to Jasper to stand closely besides him. Carlisle sighed and ran his fingers through his blonde hair as he pondered about how he would enlighten Bella of what she could not remember. If he did choose his words cautiously Bella would become enraged of how he caused to make her endure such agony and not completely understand it was for her own good. Bella had not a shred of control as her bloodlust was ravaging crazily within that severely altered her attitude as Bella became impatient and snappy towards them. They did their best to make Bella calm down, but their attempts failed miserably for Bella only became more agitated verging on violent. Carlisle was forced to use that agent that reaped horrifying results that nearly destroying Bella yet was utterly successful in its intended purposes of tormenting a vampire while burning physically from within. Pursing his lips into a thin line, Carlisle informed bluntly, "You nearly died Bella." She didn't have to know about the horrendous details just the overall fact.
"I remember I was talking with Alice, then after that all I am able to recall is feeling like I was being light on fire within my body and the intense torment of pain," Bella admitted wearily still concentrating hard on remembering the hazy memories in more clarity.
Carlisle managed to keep a straight face that showed no guilt of his role in that torment that she had experience previously. "You pulled through because you are a fighter, Bella. It was very difficult for us to see feeling completely useless unable to help you out in any way possible. For a short time, we were sure you were gone, but you endured through it and came back to us."
"I am glad I didn't- I'm extremely thirsty more than I was before," Bella started her train of thought but broke it off grasping her throat as her hunger re-surfaced overpoweringly.
Jasper ambled to Bella crouching down and handed her the mug of lukewarm blood that was still somewhat warm enough. Bella took the mug from Jasper and glanced at the thick red liquid in the mug and flashed an odd glance at Jasper unsure of what it was.
As if he read her mind, Jasper quickly stated answering Bella's unspoken question that was revealed from her repulsed and odd facial expression at the mug and Jasper, "It is human blood. There are some baggies of it stored in the fridge if you want more. That should help to suppress your thirst enough before we take you out hunting soon."
Bella wafted the red liquid within the mug and contorted her face into a disgusted facial expression for the blood did not smell the least bit delicious as she massively carved human blood. This blood smelled stall and repulsive. "I don't want this!" Bella said aggravated. "This will not help me at all!"
Esme chimed in, "I'm sure that your heightened sense of smell is telling you this isn't fresh blood which is what you want, but just taste one sip. You will see that it will sooth that hunger and you won't have to be preoccupied with this obsession of hunting to eliminate that nagging bloodlust. Our "vegetarian" diets are not exactly as satisfactory as actual human blood, but a long time ago we all vowed to wane off that craving so no to endanger or harm humans. It is difficult at first, but with time it gets easier to handle though we all have our times it is difficult to deal with it."
Reluctantly, Bella brought the mug to her lips tilting the cup as the thick red liquid slide into her mouth. Bella withdrew the mug from her lips after the first sip as its stale smell was overcome by it savory, rich flavor that was bursting in her mouth. Her scarlet red eye lit up with craving as she drank the rest of the contents in the mug feeling somewhat satisfied with her bloodlust for human blood had sharply reduced to a dulling almost non-existent need. "Mhmm….,"Bella muttered softly and licked the remaining contents of the cup clean placing it on the floor.
Carlisle took the mug and asked Bella, "Do you want more? Do not worry there is more where this came from."
Bella contemplated about this for a part of her longed for more of that savory blood yet a part of her did not necessarily need more because her raging thirst had been suppressed. "Not right now, but I might ask for some later."
"Feel free to take as much as you need. I can always order more if the supply starts to run short."
"Thanks that actually did help quite a lot." Bella shifted languidly though no longer were did her movements feel stiff as she was able to bend her arms and legs with a bit more ease yet still at a slower rate.
She got to her feet with some help from Carlisle, but had to lean on him for some support because her legs felt weak nearly buckling under her after her first couple struggling steps. Carlisle assisted Bella into the family room where Rose and Emmett had been located through all of the previous events that transpired in the foyer. Rose and Emmett were completely in their own little world, but Emmett snapped back to reality as he saw Carlisle approach the family room with Bella in tow by his side. Rose was still dazed lost in her own thoughts and ponderings.
"What's wrong with Bella?" Emmett asked concerned.
"Bella almost died," Carlisle responded verbally then through a glance flashed at him had noted Emmett would be informed later. Emmett clearly understood that if Carlisle was unable to verbally say his thoughts there was definitely more to the story that he was mentioning that made Emmett curious of this story.
Taking a major hint from Carlisle, Emmett cleared his throat and responded, "I am glad that Bella survived."
Upon hearing Emmett's voice, Rosalie was sucked back to reality and her current surroundings as her thoughts and musings faded into the background into a box in the corner of her mind soon to be revisited. Rosalie blinked and saw Bella lying on the love sofa across from Emmett and herself with Carlisle hovering besides sitting on the arm of the love sofa. Rosalie tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. Rosalie began to open her mouth again to speak but no words were uttered as it hung open. Emmett saw Rosalie struggling to deal with her situation and to see Bella like this was not helping her at all. Emmett soothingly stroked her arm and murmured softly in her ear, "It's alright, babe. Bella will be fine soon."
Rosalie glanced up at Emmett with misery written all over her sullen face. Cradling her face tenderly, Emmett caressed her cheek running his thumb along her smooth pale skin. Emmett knew she was feeling horrid with all of the crazy events that had occurred, but he had to let her know that she did not cause this chaos. Bella had always thrust herself into precarious situations putting her life in danger. Bella instigated this disarray with her curiosity to continue her association with vampires. Bella would have been completely safe from the vampires that have been after here and getting seriously injured because she could not stay away from Edward for her own good. She would have lived a normal human life soon to be graduating high school and going to live in the real world someday have a family of her own eventually grow old. Instead, Bella was doomed to be seventeen for the rest of her eternal life never to retain any sense of normality neither stay in one place for a long time without people beginning to get suspicious of how she would not age. Bella thought that being turned into a vampire would solve her solutions with being accident prone making her completely safe from harm, but now she had to live with maintaining her identity allowing only the Cullens to know she was a vampire. Now, she would not be able to see her parents or friends again because they would notice that Bella would appear different and eventually become curious of how she maintains her youthful look threatening her vampire identity to be revealed. Unlike majority of the Cullens who had no close friends or family when were turned into a vampire, it is a entirely different scenario for Bella as she will struggle to having to let go of her human past along with all her family and friends. Being a vampire had is perks, but it also has it disadvantages to say the least.
Bella lay on the couch staring blankly at the ceiling lost in her thoughts to observe Emmett and Rosalie in the room. Alice, Esme, and Jasper sauntered gracefully into the family room shifting their worrisome glances from Emmett and Rosalie parked on the sofa consoling each other and Bella on the other couch recovering slowly. Bella mustered up energy to shift from lying on her back to sitting upright against the back of the couch. Her movements became more fluid and not as stiffening which was a good sign. Bella asked in a semi-hoarse voice, "Where's Edward?" It only registered at that very moment that Edward had been not present which raised her concern as her mind began to run through theories of where he was and what could have happened to him that would explain his disappearance.
The Cullens subtly exchanged nervous glimpses unsure of what to say without exactly telling Bella that Edward was dead. This was not the best time to tell Bella something like that especially when her mental state was volatile as she was somehow managing through this rough transition period of being a newborn vampire. It would be years before Bella would be told the truth. All of them realized it was wrong to lie to Bella, but if she knew it would utterly devastate her to the point of taking a trip to the Volturi to commit suicide. For the time being, Bella would be left in the dark about Edward's death until she was stable and they felt that she would be able to handle it without suicidal and quite depressed. They silently communicated with their glances deciding who would fabricate a lie to answer Bella. If none of them answered, she would automatically sense something was wrong and none of them intended this to occur for it would have horrific repercussions.
Sighing, Alice strolled towards Bella taking a seat next to her. Attempting to keep a somewhat composed state, Alice explained calmly, "Edward will be gone for awhile, he is having difficulty dealing with this situation. He told us that he needed some time and space to sort out this in solitude. Edward went up to Alaska and will be staying with the Denali Coven for some time. This had nothing to do with you, Bella. Edward is not able to handle his problems at the moment. He would never abandon you for he loves you too much to ever hurt you like that. You will always have Edward nothing can make him unlove you. You have transformed his life to mean something more meaningful and purposeful now that he has someone who he loves and deeply cares about. All his eternal life, Edward has no one by his side which turned him bitter and formed walls in his heart making it hard to fall in love. That all changed when he met you and Edward knew he wanted to be with you for eternity."
There was a long pause.
No one said a word only passed soundless looks communicating with their eyes.
Bella stared baffled at Alice trying to register what she had just explained. Part of her wanted to find Edward and haul his ass back here because he was doing causing heartache and damage being away from her. Yet another part of her knew that Alice was right about how Edward would return soon just needing some time to think by himself to clear his head. Alice hugged Bella able to tell from her face part of her felt wounded that Edward was away when she most needed him during this chaotic time in Bella's newborn phase. Esme sat on the other side of Bella to be of somewhat assistance to comfort the distraught Bella struggling to understand the events that were happening to her. Jasper stayed standing awkwardly in the middle of the family room amidst the melancholy environment around them. Jasper felt everyone's various moods and emotions trying to not let it get to him remaining detached from their emotions. Emmett was the only person that was not raging with constantly changing emotions and moods with some happiness and overall love coming from him as he held Rosalie comfortingly. Rosalie had the overwhelming guilt and dread emanating from her that it caused him to flinch because he never realized so much misery could be in a vampire particularly like Rosalie, who was known to be quite vain and selfish most of the time. This whole situation was really affecting Rosalie as she had blamed herself for starting this whole scene and madness for them all with her accidental mistake of drinking from Bella and turning her. Carlisle was staying the most level-headed along with Jasper as they were not allowing themselves to be in touch with their inner emotions after everything that has happened to them. Emotions would make it impossible to logic out solutions as it would distort their judgment of how to properly assess this scenario.
Carlisle took a quick look at the family room and turned around making his way towards his den as if he was on a mission. Jasper followed closely behind Carlisle his interest peaked of this mission and plan. Carlisle was well aware that Jasper was stalking behind him yet it barely bothered him. In fact, Carlisle needed to talk with Jasper in his den of what their next steps from here would be for the rest of the family and particularly Bella. Past the kitchen into to then end of the long hallway, Carlisle entered his den flicking the lights on and sat in the leather executive chair behind the mahogany desk. Without an invitation, Jasper walked into the den taking a seat in on of the two chairs that were located in front of the desk.
"We have a grave situation here," Carlisle stated apprehensively lightly tapping his fingers against the desk.
"Have any idea of how we can get past this and address how to approach of how to deal with Bella's transition?"
Pensively, Carlisle pursued his lips intensely concentrating about his response to answer Jasper. This was an odd scenario that even he was having difficulties to come up with multiple solutions to approach the situation.
"We have to take this newborn stage with Bella one day at a time. It will have its ups and downs, but all of us have experienced what she is going through which makes it easier for Bella to know that she is not going to go through this alone. She had people who are here to help here through this. Bella has great potential as a vampire, with qualities that she possessed as a human that would make a powerful yet controlled vampire. Bella is unlike any human any of us have ever encountered," Jasper began.
Carlisle got his thoughts together and continued to explain further from what Jasper had already stated. "All of us had different types of newborn stage with some of having more difficulty to manage than others, but in the end we got through it. Bella will not take as long because unlike any of us, she had a family that is here for her every step of the way to assist her from our own personal experiences. It pains me to keep from Bella that Edward is dead, but we all know that something as tragic at that would drive her to insanity making it harder to move on. She will find out eventually but for now what Alice told Bella about Edward's "trip" seems to have convinced Bella good enough that it seems like the truth. I feel that Bella obtain a unique power that none of us have ever seen before. Once we have got her under control and Bella is able to cope her lifestyle change, which is when we can tell her the truth about Edward without having to worry about that the news would destroy her. I am going to call for a meeting tomorrow afternoon with everyone and even invite Jacob."
"Jacob?" Jasper asked intrigued.
"Yes, he has a right to know about Bella. At first, it will be odd to him as she would smell quite different as he has heightened sensitive smell now that he is a werewolf," Carlisle clarified. "We would have to describe to Bella some changes that will have to be made such as no longer associating with her parents and friends so not to put them in harm's way also keep them from finding out she is a vampire. If they find out her identity, then it reveals the rest of our identities as well. I know it will be painful to do so, but if we keep humans closely associated with us there is a higher chance of them being in danger that would make it harder to live their lives normally without being paranoid of danger that would lurk close by. At least, we will allow Bella to say her farewells to them, but it will take years before she completely is able to get past those human memories that will remind Bella of her loved ones she abandoned upon being changed."
"Yes that seems fair as it is Bella has more people that she deeply cares about that were in her human life. We could easily forget our human past as we had no friends or family that were really close with prior to becoming a vampire. But I do not understand why Jacob should come?" Jasper did not have anything against Jacob, but saw no need to get him involved because he would only aggravate the situation with his unstable moods as he was a newly transformed werewolf and not fully gained control over his emotions which was easily triggered especially now. His emotions could cause him to get hurt just by overreacting to the news about Bella as he would become unruly and vicious towards the Cullens, which he still blames to this day for putting Bella in constant risk. Partially, Jake was right because there was part of the Cullen which was selfish and wanted to keep Bella to themselves to protect her from any dangers, but at the same time it was also not true as Bella is the person who was adamant about not distancing herself from them because her association would only bring more danger to her yet Bella was stubborn refusing to listen because her love for Edward, in particular, and the other Cullens prevented her from doing so.
"Jacob might be a werewolf, but he is bound to find out sooner or later and it is better he finds out from us directly instead of a third party particularly anyone from his wolf pack. It will take time for Jake to get adjusted to the fact Bella is no longer human. And I'm sure he will be enraged about it because he was quite adamant about Bella remaining human even if she wanted it to be with Edward forever without aging or growing old."
There was a long silence as Jasper looked around the office casually observing not sure of how to respond. Carlisle was having a difficult time dealing with the death of Edward just like the others. Neither of them said anything more just in deep thought thinking about their major loss as his death had not completely sunk in yet. Jasper noticed after a few moments that Carlisle didn't want any more about that topic, so he left the study to allow Carlisle some time on his own to reminisce about his beloved adoptive son.
Carlisle looked calm from the outside wearing a pleasant smile which was covering up the pain of that Carlisle was experiencing from losing his adoptive son. Over the past century, Carlisle had grown close to Edward as he was the first member of the Cullen family. Carlisle had felt lonely wandering from place to place without anyone to accompany him that he often felt miserable even though he had to put on a happy face when he was on duty at the hospital. He reminisced of that day he was working at the hospital at Chicago in 1918, where Edward Anthony Masen, 17 years old, was diagnosed with a severe case of the Spanish Influenza. The pandemic of the Spanish Influenza affected young adults especially. Over his centuries of existence, Carlisle had seen more than his fair share of death as it often would not affect him emotionally. Also, being a vampire, he was the embodiment of death since he was technically undead. This was an especially rare case where he felt such sympathy for this dying patient of his as the Spanish Influenza was rapidly killing him the longer it went untreated weakening the immune system by the minute. The Spanish Influenza outbreak affect large quantities of populations particularly crowded cities bustling with activity allowing it to spread. It was his mother's dying wish that she pleaded Dr. Carlisle to save her only son, not knowing of what she was asking. He turned Edward and since then they had been close traveling companions for awhile before others were added to the family. It was during these times of just to the two of them that they really bonded getting to know each other. Edward had many similarities with him especially when it came to the idea of love which was sacred and not to be taken lightly. Yet over time, Edward became more discontent with his single status as all his other family members had found their soul mates, but Edward had not. This bitterness he had for many years melted away when Bella came into there life which turned his heart of stone soft and opened up a side of Edward which Carlisle had not seen in decades. This relationship with Bella had changed him dramatically since he was no longer bitter when any of his Alice or Jasper or Rosalie and Emmett were being affectionate, which he would typically snap at, not that they would do it intentionally. As he reminisced, his heart broke as the realization of the importance Edward had played in his undead life. Nothing would replace that empty void that was once filled with compassion and love for his adoptive son. No matter how much all of the Cullen wanted to deny it, all of them even Rosalie, who had a more complicated relationship with her brother than the others, had to admit that the family would not be the same without him around.
The rest of the night was utterly silent. Alice and Esme dealt with Bella that night keeping a watchful eye on her to make sure that she would have a simpler transition period than the rest of them had. They constantly assured Bella that she was not alone through this process and she had a support system. Bella soon realized that not being able to sleep was not always a good thing as they lay on her back on the couch staring up blankly at the ceiling until she became sick of sitting around idly. Every couple hours or so, Bella would pace the family room in sheer boredom not sure of what to do. Alice and Esme sat on the couch opposite observing her closely feeling horrible that they were not able to fully help her through this because she would have to use her all her strength and determination to get through this difficult stage of being a newborn vampire.
The morning came as light shone through the family room brightening the room. But the cheery brightness did not help to ease the sorrow and misery that hung dense in the house especially the foyer area and family room. Bella was now aimlessly wandering around the family muttering under her breathe about how she had though becoming a vampire was a glamorous process, but now that Bella realized it is not even close to being glamorous as she was experiencing it firsthand. Bella though that if only Edward was here by her side that this brutal transition period would be easier to get through not that she didn't appreciate all the help from the Cullens. Alice knew that Bella would be much worse getting through this if she was doing this solo because that's how she dealt with the newborn vampire stage. Out of all the Cullens, Alice was the only one that had found Carlisle and the Cullens instead of them finding her and warmly welcoming her into the family. Esme hadn't moved an inch since last night where she settled on the couch seated besides Alice on watcher's duty. The Cullen were doing rotational shifts on keeping guard of Bella which helped to keep them preoccupied for sometime instead of dwelling on their sorrow for the loss of Edward. Some of the Cullens particularly like Alice, Esme, and Carlisle were taking his tragic death particularly harder than Jasper and Emmett who maintained their calm and collected state constantly. Emmett had felt a twinge of guilt over killing his brother, but he felt it was justified because Edward had tried to hurt Rosalie, who accidently changed Bella after viciously attacking her in the forest during a hunting trip with Alice. Jasper wasn't mourning as much as his wife or his family because he realized early on that if he allowed himself to drown in that sorrow which would cause a deep depression it would take a hell of a lot of effort to pull out of it. A couple of them had to stay strong to keep up the morale and support the rest of their grieving family members. Carlisle, who would usually be remain strong never showing how truly he was shaken up by an event, cracked under the grief as it overwhelmed him like a giant wave of memories flooded back to him which he had not thought of in decades. Carlisle had not left his office for nearly a week staying holed up there because he did not want to the others to see him like this. Out of everyone, Bella was quite distraught as she fought with all her willpower to keep strong and get through her own situation, was not fully aware of the events occurring around her. The house with was usually bustling with activity and chatter was particularly quiet for months with the exception of the brief pleasant conversion to break the silence occasionally. Once, Bella got news of Edward's tragic death it would devastate her and most probably cause her determination and would rapidly disintegrate ruining the progress she had made in surviving the brutal newborn stage. This would likely result in Bella going to Italy and begging the Voltaire to die because she lost the only reason that was keeping her alive and her motivation to become a vampire. Bella would not want to remain a vampire if she did not have Edward by her side forever.
That meeting that Jasper and Carlisle had discussed about gathering the Cullens and Jake into a session discussing the important matter of how to deal with Bella delicately during this precarious time of her life. It was better that Jake heard it directly from the Cullens instead of a third party also no matter if he was a werewolf Bella is his close and dear friend. The Cullens would never do anything to sabotage their strong friendship.
Alice had enough of mopping around that she decided to speak with Carlisle and hoped she could convince him to get out of the den which Carlisle had been cooped up in for almost a week. After her watch shift ended, Jasper and Emmett took over allowing Alice to accomplish her mission. The Cullens barely spoke a word nowadays with silence becoming a norm in the house that was once lively and bursting with activity. They didn't speak much to each other only very few words.
Esme was finding her own ways to cope with the loss of her beloved son, because when she was human Esme had lost her baby and didn't want to live afterwards. The experience of losing a child is painful for a mother even if it is not their own biological child. Even if Edward was her adoptive son, there would always be a part of her that would be empty because she loved all her adoptive children and losing any of them was heart-wrenching. The death of her adoptive son, Edward, had not hit her immediately till after about three days when the initial signs f depression began to set in and was progressively getting worse as they days passed by. Hours and days flew by her with no more significance to them as she went through the day with a zombie state of mind.
Alice could see how this was really impacting Esme, but was unsure of how to console her since Alice was just as depressed as her adoptive mother though she didn't show it. Even Jasper was not aware of how morose Alice was nowadays. Being alive forever made everyday not as significant as when all of them were humans, but now without Edward the days lost even more meaning holding very little value to it now. She hoped that they would be able to get past this soon and go back to semi-normal because it was the best way to help Bella through her newborn process. Bella was not daft though she was distracted by her own situation right now eventually Bella would notice something was wrong with the rest of the Cullens. If they didn't pull out of the dumps soon, it would be a dead giveaway for her which would allow her think of possibilities and theories of reason why they were so glum not their usual selves. And their excuse about Edward taking a long hunting trip up north would become less believable in time, but for now Bella believed their cover story. She hated blatantly lying to Bella but this was for her own sake.
Striding out of the family room past the lobby towards Carlisle's study den, Alice formulated in her head what she would tell him, so to word them correctly and convincingly. One of their parents had to remain strong throughout this ordeal because chaos would occur if this continued. Jasper and Emmett took on these roles because some people in this household had to hold the family together to prevent them from allowing this horrific event to destroy and tear apart their household. They had gone through many struggles over the decades, but they managed to pull through in the end. The walk to the den seemed longer than usual, but the closer she got to the den the atmosphere of mourning only intensified. Taking a voluntary breath even though she didn't require breathing to survive because she was a vampire, Alice finalized the lecture she was going to give to Carlisle and make him snap out of whatever the hell glum mood he was in. He was taking this just as difficult as Esme but Carlisle was the foundation of this family he couldn't breakdown now when what was needed most was his support and calmness to bring back the vivacity of the family. She stood in front of the study den's door waiting a few moments before she tapped it softly.
There was no response for several minutes. She did not assume that it allowed her to enter his den, so she waiting patiently outside till Carlisle permitted her to enter the den. Carlisle had heard the knock at the door, but could not muster the energy to speak as he drowned in his own depression. "Enter," he barely managed to mutter after nearly twenty minutes that Alice was waiting outside the door. Carlisle always looked presentable, but she was utterly shocked when Alice entered the den to discover that during the week Carlisle had locked himself in his study den his appears severely displayed his distraught state of mind and emotions. His blond hair that was typically styled was now totally unkempt looking like a severe case of bed-head sticking out messily all over his head. He had dark circle under his eyes not from the lack of sleep, but from his serious lack of animal blood in him since it had been nearly three weeks Carlisle had gone hunting. His pupils that were usually a light golden-topaz color were nearly completely black it showed his need of a hunting trip. His disheveled appearance was now scaring Alice creating much more concern for Carlisle. He didn't not look his usual self; instead he looked much worse than she thought which deeply disturbed her. He didn't make eye contact with since Alice had entered the room. All the vivacity that he had was nowhere to be found within him, as Carlisle now permanently wore a solemn expression. Overall, he looked like a wretch worse than all the others especially Esme, who still maintained her normal outer appearance of classic style and beauty.
"Carlisle…"
He still did not look up at her. Carlisle continued to stare at his computer monitor, which was not even switched on, like a zombie.
"Carlisle?" she repeated in a very concerned tone.
No response still came from Carlisle.
She stepped closer approaching him watching him stare blankly at the screen as if in a deep trance unable to be awakened. "I am very worried about you, dad. You've been holed up her for almost over a week now."
He muttered something under his breath which she was not able to neither hear nor comprehend.
"Please say something! You're seriously scaring me right now! I've never seen you like this and its scaring the living shit out of me!" she exclaimed almost hysterical from witnessing Carlisle in this troubling state.
"I cannot…never felt so numb in all my centuries of being undead…not worth living anymore…" he rambled not making any sense at all and only continuing to make Alice even more alarmed.
All her sanity was on edge as it was and now this was rapidly diminishing that small remnant of her sanity that was left. She was beginning to feel as if she was living in an asylum again locked up with people who were losing their minds with hers dwindling away quickly as well. At this rate, the family would go mad. This only increased her fight to restore the family because she was not going to let her family members go insane. She cared about them too much to let that happen to them. This intensified her drive to get Carlisle to snap out of whatever state he was in and to return to his normal self. Carlisle was the foundation of the family that held it together even during the times of struggle that the Cullens had experienced over the decades. If Carlisle went insane, then the balance of the foundation he had would deteriorate and all hope that the Cullens could return back to normal would be forever lost into oblivion. Alice was not going to get this happen! She would do her best to bring this family back together!
Carlisle still didn't remove his gaze that was glued to the blank computer screen. Alice was getting a little ticked off, not because of Carlisle instead of how this whole situation could transform their lively family into a sullen and gloomy family in such a quick amount of time. It may have sounded mean but Alice hated the fact that her beloved brother, Edward, was dead when he didn't deserve to be. Alice was not channeling her sadness so that all she could do was to mope around the house hopelessly acting like a complete zombie, instead try to find ways to move on from this tragic event so that it would not heavily affect her emotions and moods entirely. Some people in the family had to stay strong to help motivate encouragement to the grieving family members unable to cope with his sudden death which came at the most inopportune time when Bella had just transformed and going through the brutal newborn vampire phase. This overwhelming combination made their emotions worse and unable to control as they went haywire.
Frustrated by Carlisle's entire lack of motivation to try to move on, Alice stormed out unable to tolerate being in the gloomy environment that was everywhere in the house. She had to get out! She had been coped up in the house for so long that its sullen environment was getting too difficult to tolerate anymore. Alice decided that an impromptu shopping trip would do her a world of good for both some therapy of her own and save her from going insane. Running to her room, she grabbed her new Dolce and Gabbana purse from her nightstand and made sure that everything that she needed was in it. Credit cards…lip gloss…cell phone…brush…mascara…nail file…keys to the Porsche…wallet…Check, she made a mental not to herself.
Alice was ready to leave for her shopping trip, when Rosalie walked into her room with her head hanging down staring at the floor the entire time and her shoulder drooped as her graceful pose that Rosalie possessed no longer existed at this moment. Alice understood that Rosalie was taking this Edward's death especially hard because she felt that it is entirely her fault this whole situation occurred. If it wasn't for her accidently changing Bella into a vampire when she decided to snack on Bella for some delicious human blood during her hunting trip taken with Alice, this would have never happened if Rosalie had not given into her longing for the sweet taste of human blood in the first place. Edward would still be alive. Alice didn't not have to be telepathic to know what thoughts were going through Rosalie's head because it was almost written in her facial expression that displayed her guilty conscious and her overall sorrow for the loss of her dear brother, who she didn't not particularly tolerate at times and was not her favorite person to deal with but Rosalie still loved him after all the family had been through over the decades they were together. At that moment, Alice decided to extend an invitation to Rosalie for joining her on her shopping trip because it looked like she could seriously use some time out of this house which might help her to be less miserable. Rosalie had racked up so much guilty that it was beginning to show that it was taking a toll on her mentally and emotionally, because Alice had known Rosalie to be graceful and a composed person. Now she looked distraught and horrible because the effort Rosalie put in to make herself to always appear presentable was especially not visible anymore as her outfits were haphazardly coordinated nor did she bother to put make up or even style her hair. Her appearance for the past week had been untidy and unappealing. Her usual vampiric beauty did not glow nor could not be seen because her long hair was left un-styled and hung limply hiding her face and her clothes though they were color-coordinated did not have its usual elegance. Rosalie sauntered unenergetically made her way to the bed and sat besides Alice making semi eye contact with her.
"Rosalie, how are you?" Alice asked concerned being seriously alarmed with Rosalie acting out of her norm.
"It's my fault…it's all fault," Rosalie muttered under her breathe her voice filled with sadness.
Alice insisted firmly to reassure and comfort Rosalie, "You must stop blaming yourself for causing his death. You did nothing."
"I am the one who transformed his human girlfriend against her will, and I am the reason this whole mess started in the first place!"
Alice hugged Rosalie. "You need to stop putting the entire blame for this on you. You are not the only person who was involved in this situation. Your hands do not have Edward's blood on it. If you don't stop blaming yourself for this, you are going to drive yourself insane. I lost one brother I am not prepared to lose you by allowing you to go crazy."
"You do not understand, Alice!" Rosalie exclaimed. "My hands do have his blood on them! I am the reason for this mess!" Rosalie felt endless guilt that she now undeniably believed that if it hadn't been for her careless actions Edward would be alive still, but her own damn selfish hunger for human blood, which she had not had in over seven decades, had been the source of this entire situation and ultimately led to Edward's death.
"I am not going to allow you to blame yourself for his death. The Rose I know would not let her own damn guilt drive her to sheer insanity."
"But it's true…." Rosalie said in a defeated tone as if all hope was lost for her.
"Okay, I am not going to allow you keep telling yourself lies! I am getting you out of this house to get some fresh air to clear your head, which is what you really need. I cannot have you stay any longer cooped in this hellhole while you go crazy," Alice stated not bothering to tell her where she was being taken because Alice could not tolerate to hear anymore from Rosalie repeatedly how everything is her fault. Alice flung her purse onto her shoulders and with a firm grip on Rosalie's hand dragged her behind her as she made her way to the garage. Rosalie did nothing to object or resist Alice because there was not energy left in her to do so. Midway down the staircase, Alice realized that she was not going to bring Rosalie out in public the way she was looking which was quite disheveled. She dragged Rosalie back to her closet into her closet placing her so Rosalie was standing in the middle of her massive walk-in closet. Furiously rummaging through her closet, Alice selected an entirely new outfit for Rosalie to wear and shoved the pile of clothes into her arms.
Rosalie didn't register what to do with the armful of clothes, so Alice clarified for her, "I want you to put this on because you are going to look elegant and presentable when I take you out into the public. I will be waiting downstairs in the lobby for you. Do not take long."
Alice speed out of the room, down the stairs to the foyer area, while she patiently waited for Rosalie. Rosalie stared for a couple minutes at the clothes, before she began to change into them. Alice was a short person, but the outfit seemed to fit Rosalie, who was much taller than Alice. Unhurriedly, Rosalie ambled out of Alice's room and down the staircase making her way to the foyer, where Alice was awaiting her. Alice, who was leaning against the railing, turned around and smiled when she saw how amazing Rosalie looked with just a quick change of outfit. The elegance that radiated from her had returned even though she had not bothered to fix her hair and apply some basic make-up. This was significant progress for Rosalie, whose stylish appearance had severely disintegrated during the course of only a week.
Rosalie finally made her way down the stairs into the foyer. Alice could still notice that Rosalie looked utterly miserable, but that would soon change after their impromptu shopping trip. Rosalie would feel so much better when they returned with their bags of purchases. Shopping was the best way to cheer her up. This was an emergency shopping trip.
She had not still asked Alice where exactly they were going for Rosalie could not muster up enough energy within her to utter a sound, so she just went along with whatever Alice had planned. Alice giddily ambled towards with garage with Rosalie followed closely behind dragging her feet glumly. Once in the garage, Alice ran to the yellow Porsche reuniting with her best friend as if it had been ages they had seen or spend time with each other. She didn't realize how much she had missed her "baby". Merrily, she entered the Porsche running her hand over the dashboard and wafting the fresh leather scent of the seats. Rosalie walked towards the vehicle and got into it as she sunk into the seat shutting the door behind her. Alice didn't bother with putting her seatbelt nor did Rosalie. The yellow Porsche sped out of the garage and away from the Cullen house as it faded into the distance. Alice was so focused on getting to Grand Plaza Shopping Centre in Arizona before the stores closed. Once Alice was determined to do something nothing was going to stop her from accomplishing that for she held a high level of concentration and determination. Rosalie spend the entire car ride sitting hunched over staring blankly at the passing scenery whizzing by her as Alice kept increasing her driving speed till they were flying on the road at nearly a hundred miles per hour. At normal driving speed, the trip should take about two and a half hours, but with Alice's driving it took them less than an hour to reach Grand Plaza Shopping Centre.
I am so close to finishing this story. It has taken me some time to work on this story, but i plan to wrap it all up in one more chapter. It has been interesting to work on this story as I have completely altered how i was was originally planning to wrapping up this story when i was first thought of this story idea. I have enjoyed writing this story that has taken me over a year to write, but i never planned to make it this long though I like how i am planning to wrap it up. I want to thank all of you for waiting so patiently for it to be updated. Enjoy!