All my lovely reviewers! Thank you so much! Honestly, I'm not really a review hound but I have to admit that they keep the morale up. Thanks to everyone.

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a fat corgi whose tummy touches the ground.

XOXO-Ka

Right Vs. Good

by JudeOrion

Chapter Two: Matters of the Heart

No way this could be happening. But those four golden eyes told no lies. Edward's mouth was slack, and he mouthed, "Bella."

Other students started coming in and I was forced to stop staring at my past and finish writing on the board. My mind was in turmoil. Why was he here? Were the rest of them? Alice? My hopes were dangerously up, but I couldn't squash them down.

At the same time I was angry at Edward. He promised it would be like he never existed, and yet here he was, in my classroom, on my turf. On my turf…that sounded promising. He had encroached on my territory, my school, what right did he have to be here? Reminding me of one of the worst times of my life? Indignation rose and I straightened my back. I could do this, be strong. He's just another student, Bella. Buck up and do your job.

The second bell rang and I turned around to see the class. It was much smaller than my others, 12 kids in all.

"All right, everyone. My name is Ms. Newton. I recognize a few faces in the room—"

I heard a guffawing laughter from the back of the room. Emmett was already being a pain.

"Something the matter?" I asked, without raising my eyes from the stack of papers in my hands I was sorting through.

"No Ma'am, Mrs. Newton." He said in a teasing tone. I saw him elbow Edward.

"Then I'll trust you not to interrupt again, Mr…"

"Cullen, Mrs. Newton. Emmett Cullen."

"Mr. Cullen. And it's Ms. Newton, not Mrs." I started passing out the stack in my hands. "This is your reading list for this semester. The library is short on a few of them but I have my own little library in here. I would prefer if you can buy them on your own, because in this class you'll be comparing and contrasting these books again and again. If that's not possible, however, like I said—just come to me and I'll be happy to loan you some of my personal books." I passed out the papers row by row and soon came to Edward's. I stopped breathing I think. Why did he have to be on the end? Why why why was I being punished? What did I do wrong? And my hand just had to shake didn't it? Our eyes met as I handed Edward the papers for his row. He smiled. I glowered. What right did he have to smile at me like we were old friends? Our hands touched and I drew mine back quickly as the familiar tingle coursed through.

"So," I said, walking back up front. "The first on the list is Romeo and Juliet." And fate just gets better and better. I'm such an idiot. "Who here has their own copy." Eight hands raised in the air. "Ok. Everyone else get a copy, I don't really care how. Shoplifting is probably not a good idea though." I got a few snickers out of that one and my confidence boosted. I could do this. "If you don't really have a way of getting a copy, then ask me after class."

Could an hour really be that long? It seemed like a week had passed in that classroom when the bell finally, finally rang. One more class to go…urgh. I went to my desk to grab the things for my last class. The students stomped out and I collapsed in my chair behind my desk and covered my face with my hands.

"How the fuck did this happen?"

"I'd say it was because fate is a bitch." That stupid voice.

"Why are you here Emmett?" I asked through clenched teeth, my face still in my hands.

I felt him bend down from the opposite side of me and ruffle my hair like he used to. I sighed.

"I missed you, Bells." He left the class and I lifted my head. Edward was still in his seat, staring at me tensely.

"Class is over. Or didn't you hear the bell?" I asked icily.

"My next class is in here, too," he said quietly.

"What? Did you know I was here and got all your English classes with me so you could annoy the piss out of me?" I snarled.

"I swear, I had no idea, Bella. We had no clue that you were here. We'll probably leave for your sake. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Don't leave for my sake—"

"Hi, Ms. Newton!"

"Oh—hi, Jenna. Have a good summer?" I asked the dark-skinned girl in front of me absentmindedly. She was one of my students from last year. Not very talented in English, but I'd heard from one of the Math teachers that she was the best in her year. She was enthusiastic, though, so that lessened my frustration when she didn't understand something.

"Yeah. Did you?"

"Yep." Jenna went to the front row. I turned to Edward.

"We'll talk about this later," I whispered so only he could hear me.

I think I caught his slight nod.

I was glad to hear the last bell ring. The kids all got up and stampeded toward the door, chattering and laughing gaily. I looked toward the back of the room to my own personal ghost and stared. His gaze was as relentless as mine as I dared him to speak first. I huffed and turned to erase the board. I had just swiped the last bit off when I felt an icy grasp around my wrist. I yanked my arm from his hand.

"Don't touch me." My voice was deadly and I glared at him, feeling the rise of all the anger and indignation forming into a lump in my throat. Where did this prick get off?

A high-pitched gasp alerted us to other people in the room. There they were at the doorway, the rest of my demons come back to haunt me. Alice was staring at me like she would cry if she could. Emmett stood with his arm around Rosalie, wearing a big shit-eating grin; Rose studied her perfect nails. Jasper's honey eyes stared at me in alarm and hurt—no doubt he could feel what I felt and was very uncomfortable. Huh. I couldn't really bring myself to care.

"Bella?" Alice squeaked. She started coming to me. I took a step back.

"Call me Ms. Newton in school, please." I looked at her hard and she stopped in her tracks.

"B-Bella…please?"

I shook my head. "Why are you all here?"

"We…just picked a place…I know it's not really cloudy in summer, but Esme said she'd always wanted to come to Montana, so…we found a place where we could work with it. I—we—never thought you'd be here," Alice explained. She ran a finger over my desk absent-mindedly.

"Ok." I nodded. "So…now what?"

"What do you mean?" Edward asked. I took a step to the side to put some distance between us.

"Are you staying? Going? Is it just going to be a kind of lets-ignore-each-other-and-act-like-the-past-didn't-happen kind of thing? Or is it going to be more like the vague acquaintance kind of thing?"

"Well…we were hoping that we could be friends again…something like we were before," Emmett piped up.

My head was shaking 'no' before he was even finished. "No. Can't. Can't." The dam in my heart started flaking apart; it would burst if I couldn't get away. I was trembling and starting to have a panic attack. Damn; they would see, they would all see. How many times had I vowed that if I ever saw them again I would act like nothing had happened, nothing they did had affected me?

"Bella, are you ok?" Edward asked. He raised his hand to my hair and I slapped it away.

"You left. You left! You all left me, and you don't have the fucking right to act like it didn't happen! You promised! You promised, but then you left me on my own, and now you want to act like friends again, just so you can pick up and leave when I gain the trust back? No! I can't!"

They all had looks of shock on their faces. Alice stepped forward.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry we left. I know there's nothing we can do to make it better, but I hope that I can somehow convince you to trust us again. At least trust me."

I looked up at the rest of them. Alice was still running her finger over my desk. I looked toward Jasper and met his eyes. I sent feelings of understanding and compassion and forgiveness to him. His eyes went wide and he smiled thinly at me. If nothing else happened from this…conversation…I wanted Jasper to know that I never blamed him.

I turned back to Alice to see that she had taken another step toward me.

"I don't know, Alice. I just don't know if I can trust you and your family again."

Especially Edward, I thought.

We were all quiet for a while.

"Could you at least do one thing for us?" I looked up at Emmett. His face was imploring. "Esme misses you. So much. Could you at least come up to the house and see her?"

If anyone but Emmett asked that, I would have said tough shit. But seeing him there, with begging eyes, so unlike his normal playful, teasing self, dropped what shred of dignity I had left and I nodded. He reminded me too much of Nicky.

"Yeah. I guess I could."

A knock on the doorframe interrupted us. "Sorry I'm late Ms. Newton. I had to ask one'a my teachers for help an' it took longer than I thought."

"That's ok, Kimber. I was just speaking with some…unexpected acquaintances." Alice's face fell at the title I had given her. I could only muster up a smidgeon of remorse.

I looked at the Cullens. "I need to take Kimber home so that I can get to my other job. Tell your mother that I'll come over tomorrow. Ok?"

Alice nodded. "Thank you, Ms. Newton. It was really nice to see you again." The Cullens headed out the door; Edward hung back.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?" I asked as I walked to my desk and started packing up my computer.

"Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." Damn his velvet voice. I hated him deeper.

"Yep," I said, effectively dismissing him. He left the room. I finished gathering my things and straightened up.

"You ready to go, Kimber? I'm running late."

She didn't answer, just turned and headed toward the staff parking lot. In the cab of the truck, as we were warming up, she spoke.

"Ms. Newton…you ok?" Her voice was tentative and quiet again.

"Yes, I'm fine. And call me Bella out of school, please," I replied with as much warmth in my voice as I could dredge up. It was surprisingly difficult.

"Ok. It's just that you looked real sad in there."

"It's fine, Kimber. It was just a blast from the past…kind of a past life, really." She really was a sweet girl. I liked her more and more.

"So where's your other job?" She asked. I was thankful for the subject change.

"Oh, a little diner up by the hospital."

"You like it there?"

"Mm-hmm. I like talking with the regulars, and the manager is great. A couple of the waitresses are kind of…uh…"

"Bitchy?" Kimber offered.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I was trying to stay away from that word, but yeah—bitchy. But they have both been my students—one still is—so they know not to mess with me." I pulled up to our building. "Ok. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yep. Thanks for the ride."

"You're welcome. Good-bye."

"'Bye."

On my way to work I rolled down the window and had a desperately-needed smoke. Normally I never smoking in my truck, but I made an exception. When I got to work, Josh was playing Solitaire. I switched my sandals for a pair of flats quickly and went to grab an apron from under the counter where Josh was.

"Whatever happened to 'Time to lean, time to clean'?" I asked him sarcastically as I was tying on my apron.

"I have cleaned. And re-cleaned. I scrubbed the floor with bleach even. We have had a grand damn total of 12 customers today. I already sent Lynsey home earlier, and I was thinking I'd have to send you home too." He looked at me with an apologetic look on his face.

"That's ok. I don't really feel like going home, though. Mind if I stay and play a game with you?" I sat next to him at the bar.

"Sure."

We played cards and laughed and joked well past closing time.

Eventually I got up and stretched. "Crap, I'd better get going. I need to work on some stuff for tomorrow. Maybe get some sleep," I laughed. I got up and went to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich—I didn't feel like cooking tonight. As I opened the till to put some money for the sandwich in it, Josh put his hand on my arm.

"Hey, don't worry about it, Bella. I've got it."

"Are you sure?" I looked up at Josh.

Huh. I never noticed quite how blue his eyes are before.

"I'm sure, Bella." His hand moved up my arm around to my back. His other hand came to clasp my left hand, which had been resting on the counter on the other side of the register. I couldn't tell if he pulled my hand to his waist or if I brought it there of my own volition.

A corner of my brain started going off…reminding me of…of what? Someone…who?

As Josh touched his lips to mine, that corner of my brain shut off and another part lit up. Oh, God, his lips were soft. And he was gentle…hesitant, a kiss and a question at the same time. Mike had never been like that, he had always just taken.

And Edward…

No. Forget about that. Think about Josh.

My hand roamed to his neck, and my fingers combed through his shaggy hair. He took it as an invitation and kissed me harder, his hand moving to my own hair. His tongue ran along my lips, begging for entrance, but that woke me up. I gently pulled back from him with a small smile playing on my mouth.

He just sort of stared at me for a moment before speaking.

"Hi."

"Hi," I chuckled back. I stroked my hand through his hair one last time before I pulled it to my side and took a step back.

"Was that…ok? I mean, was I out of line?" Josh asked.

"That was great, Josh. You're not in trouble," I teased.

"Good," he breathed out, before kissing me quickly again. And again. And once more. "Go on a date with me."

"Was that a request or a demand?"

"I'm serious. Please."

"Um…but I'm your employee," I said.

"I know. We'd have to keep it quiet for a while. But I would really like to go out with you. Soon." Josh ran his fingers through my hair. It felt really nice; he had big, strong hands, and he lightly tugged my hair as he went. I could have gone to sleep like that, standing up.

"I'd like that, too, Josh," I whispered.

"Thursday night all right with you? I know you have Nicky this weekend."

"That would be great."

His smile was infectious, and I found myself smiling back at him. "I'll call you to set it up sometime this week, ok?"

"Sounds good."

"Good. Now get home and sleep; you look like you haven't slept in days," he said.

If he only knew, I thought. Between closing the diner at midnight each night and almost-scheduled nightmares sleep was becoming an illusion.

"Ok. I'll see you Wednesday, I guess. Some jerk scheduled me to close," I teased.

"How dare they. I'll have to change it to everyday just so I can see you." I couldn't help the blush at his words.

We kissed again, less tentatively than before, and then I left.

At home I called Mike's house phone to leave a message for Nicky, asking how his day was. I hoped he was settling in well. He had had a few friends from the neighborhood when they lived here, but starting a new school on top of a brand-new place made me worry about him making friends. He used to be outgoing, but after last summer…he just hadn't been the same.

After I ate my sandwich and got in my most comfy pajamas, I curled up in bed with a book to wind down with. It wasn't long before my phone buzzed with a text message.

Bella—just wanted to make sure you got home all right—Josh

I smiled to myself, and blushed.

Got home fine, thanks. Just settling down with a book.

Which book?

Um…a Dr. Seuss compilation?

lol. That's awesome. I love the Seuss man.

Never call him that again.

Sure thing, Babe. I'm going to let you get some sleep. Good night.

Good night, Josh.

Babe? Where had that come from? Admittedly, when I read it, I blushed and went all giddy-10th-grader, but I didn't think we were at the pet-name stage yet. Of course, what did I know? I married Mike right out of high school and never dated anyone else but him and Edward. And look what disasters those had turned out to be. Leaving and cheating, the story of my life.

I put down my book and turned off my bedside lamp. I had just hunkered down under my mass of comforters when I felt someone watching me.

Ok, this irritated the crap out of me. Even though I hadn't seen him in ten years, I still could recognize the particular way the little hairs stood up on the back of my neck when he was there. I got up and crossed the room to open my window.

There he was, positively glowing in the moonlight, sitting in the tree outside of my window.

Ok, new personal rule—don't live places with trees outside my bedroom.

"What?" I asked snidely.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine, thanks for caring. You can continue your pity party in your own damn tree."

"Can we talk, Bella?"

"No. Not now, anyway. I'm tired, and I need to sleep. I can't exactly do that when I can feel you staring at me. Please leave."

I didn't give him a chance to respond, I just slammed the window closed and went back to bed. He must have sensed my imminent implosion, because I didn't feel him staring at me anymore. I tossed and turned for about a half hour before I finally got to sleep.

When I did sleep, I had a nightmare. The same one I had over and over again for over a year.

I dreamed I was running along the beach frantically, looking for something. The sky loomed dark and furious overhead. Lightning struck, lighting the water and forest behind me, but I didn't care. I needed to find whatever it was before it was too late…I didn't know what it was, or why I was searching, but it was imperative. I knew when I was at the place where I would find it. I pushed myself harder, breathing erratically, trying to yell so much, but unable to make a sound.

I found what I was looking for then—who, I mean. The tiny body with corn silk-blonde hair, the turbulent waves crashing over the still form.

I woke with a start.

"Fuck," I said to no one in particular. I went to the kitchen to get some water, then went back to bed. I hated that dream. It always messed me up. All the next day, when I saw little girls, I would have to hold back tears. I clung to Nicky if he was around. I just wasn't myself.

As if I needed more reason to be messed up tomorrow.

I went back to sleep again quickly, thank goodness. I didn't dream the rest of the night.

But I did wake with a start again.

Bacon?

Why did I smell bacon in my apartment?

I threw the covers off of me and hurried into the kitchen. Who did I see but none other than Esme at my stove, cooking bacon and eggs in my large cast-iron skillet.

"E-Esme?" I rubbed my eyes. Was I dreaming again?

She looked up as though genuinely surprised to see me there. "Oh, Bella!" She cried out. She hurried to me and swept me up into a stony cold embrace. I wrapped my arms around her on autopilot, still shocked to see her there.

"Esme, what are you doing here?"

"I…I just thought you might like some breakfast?"

I pulled from her and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, the truth was I just wanted an excuse to see you, Bella," she said. She hurried back to the stove and flipped my eggs over.

"Esme…"

"Look, I'm sorry I came in uninvited, I really am. I just knew that if I had some kind of bribe handy, you might be more willing to see me," she interrupted me. "If you want me to leave, just say so."

The hole in my chest started to open more at the suggestion. "No. No, Esme, please stay."

She must have heard the fear in my voice, because she swiftly put the food onto a plate and came up to me with it. She didn't say anything, just handed me the plate. I sat at the table and began to eat. "This is really good, Esme."

"Thank you." She was quiet for a moment longer. Then—"Bella…I wanted to apologize to you."

"For what?" I asked. The coffee machine beeped and I got up to pour myself a cup.

"I don't know what happened after…after we left—"

Ah. Should have seen that one coming. I drew a shaky breath and sat down at the table. Suddenly I wasn't very hungry anymore.

"But I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for whatever our departure may have caused. I promise that no matter what I'll stay in your life. I-if you want me to, that is. If not, I completely understand. The family is thinking about leaving now, and if you think that it is in your best interest that we leave, we will, I just—"

"Esme! I've never seen a vampire flustered like this before. It's strangely comforting actually, to know that I'm not the only inarticulate one." I laughed to try to ease the tension. Esme cracked a weary smile. "I don't want you to leave. I would love for you to be in my life, Esme. Please, I've missed you so much. Don't go."

"Oh, Bella. Yes, absolutely. I was worried earlier. The others…well, they thought that you might want us to leave. That you were rather…brash with them yesterday. Not that you have no reason to. If that had happened to me…I don't know what I would have acted like. However, the family was prepared to leave today, until I convinced them to wait and let me talk to you at least."

"I was very angry yesterday," I said. I took another sip of coffee and stared out the window. "I've spent these past ten years trying to forget the Cullen family, and then here you all show up—effectively smashing down every brick wall I fought so hard to mortar. Underneath it all, though…I was ecstatic. Then they started talking," I chuckled. "Alice was going on about being friends again, and Edward was trying to touch me and comfort me…it was all too much. So I turned to anger as my last resource and lashed out."

"Do you think you could ever forgive us? Me?" Esme asked. Her face was so hopeful and sad.

"Of course," I said. I came around and hugged her tight to me. "It hurt so much yesterday because I wanted to see you, but I didn't want to want to see you. I loved you like another mother. I didn't even get to say good-bye." To my horror I started crying.

Esme took me by the shoulders and held me at arm's length. "Oh, Bella. Come now, don't cry." She cupped my face and wiped my tears away with her thumbs. "I'm here now, and I'll never just pick up and leave again. I promise. I've missed you so much." She gathered me to her again and stroked my hair as I quieted my tears.

When I was quiet again and my face was dry, I laughed. "I'm such a mess," I said. I looked at the clock. "Damn. I only have twenty minutes until I need to pick up Kimber. I need to get a move on." I picked myself up from the floor and brought my plate and fork to the sink and rinsed it off.

"Who's Kimber?"

"The neighbor girl. She's a freshman, so I take her to school in the mornings with me, since her grandmother doesn't like to drive."

"Ah."

"Um…Make yourself at home if you like. Unless you have to go. I just need to get dressed." Crap, no time for a shower. I'll just have to do my hair up again.

"Thank you, Bella."

I nodded and made my way to the bedroom. I picked out a deep wine balloon sleeve blouse. I paired it with black slacks and black suede ankle boots. I plaited my hair and washed my face; didn't bother with makeup but put on some copper coin dangly earrings and some matching bangles that rattled when I moved my wrist.

When I came out of the bathroom, Esme was looking at the pictures on the shelf next to the sliding door to the patio.

"Who are these people, Bella?"

I walked up behind her. "Those are my children. That's Nicholas—" I pointed to 3-year-old brown-haired Nicky, who was covered in mud (and nothing else) grinning from ear to ear in our old back yard. "And that's Grace—" I pointed to the last picture taken of her, 6 years old and in her prettiest dress, all ready to be flower girl at Jake's wedding. She had a gap in her teeth where the top two had fallen out. It was my favorite of her.

"Your children?" Esme asked. She sounded shocked.

"Yes."

"How old are they?"

"Well, Nicky, he's six, almost seven. He just started first grade. And Grace…she would be eight and a half now." The tears threatened a rerun. Do not cry again. Today's going to suck enough as is.

"Would be?" I looked at her, silently begging her not to ask. She swallowed unnecessarily and glanced at the picture of her again. "Well they're beautiful children, Bella." I remembered that she too had felt the pain of losing a child. I thanked her silently for understanding the need to not think about it.

"Thank you. I do have to get going now, though, Esme. I'm sorry." I picked up my laptop bag from next to the couch where I'd dumped it last night and turned back to Esme.

"That's all right, Bella. I'm sure I'll see you soon."

"I'm sure you will," I giggled. She hugged me tightly to her again.

"I love you, Bella. Never, ever forget that. And I truly am sorry."

"Thank you, Esme. I love you too."

Ok, so maybe today would turn out with a silver lining after all.