Yay! Chapter Six is here! The discussion Bella has with her class is where I got the idea for this story. I was up, taking care of my teething son in the middle of the night, when I thought, "You know, Romeo is an idiot." And then this story was born! Ta-daa! I hope you enjoy it, please let me know if you like it. This is my baby.
As always, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a new corset I can't wait to use...lol.
XOXO-Ka
Right Vs. Good
by JudeOrion
Chapter Six: Stupid Romeo
Friday. Thank God. Two more classes and the whole long week would be over.
Just get through these next two hours and you have the whole weekend with Nicky.
I wrote the groups up on my board as the students came in for my fifth period class. We had finished Romeo and Juliet last week, spent this week on reports and papers, and now, Friday, was discussion day. When I say discussion day, I don't mean what my colleagues in the English Department mean. For them, discussions—if they even have them—mean that they talk about what the textbook says the book means and if the students contest what the teacher says, they're wrong because their ideas go against what every college scholar wrote on his analytical papers—just like the one before them wrote, only with different phrasing.
No. Discussion days are days that I have complete conversations with my students. They get in groups and decide between them one key point of the story that they want to talk about. After fifteen minutes, we have critical debates about these key points. These days are easily my favorites out of the whole school year.
When the bell rang and everyone was in their seat, I turned and spoke. "All right, this is the day I've been talking about all week. I want everyone to get in their groups, please. You know what to do. Agree on a topic in the book Romeo and Juliet, any topic you wish, and in fifteen minutes, we will start our discussion." I left them to it and went to my desk to grade papers. I was happy with this class (despite the copper-headed God of Perpetual Insanity who still insisted on sitting closest to my desk) because they were very mature. I could leave them to do their thing and trust that they wouldn't get off subject—too much, anyway. I'd split them off in three groups of four people that day, in hopes that the fewer the subjects, the longer we could stay on them.
When the fifteen minutes were up, I came to the front of the room. "All right, everyone. Time to get busy. Kasey, what's your group's subject?"
"The age difference between Romeo and Juliet, and why the social stigma of age has changed so drastically over the centuries."
"Good, very good." I wrote it down next to their group on the board. "I haven't heard that one before. All right, Emmett, what's your group doing?"
Edward cut Emmett off. "Why Juliet didn't go for the safe bet with Paris, instead choosing to risk betraying her family and endangering everything she knew in life by being with Romeo."
Show-off. What high-school student talks like that?
You did.
Shut up, brain.
Great, now you're arguing with yourself, Bella.
Shut it off!
I wrote the topic on the board next to their group. "And Jesse, what is your group's topic please?"
"Whether Romeo is a protagonist or antagonist."
"Great! Great, these are all really wonderful topics. I'm proud of all of you. That's two I've never heard of before. All right, Kasey, Brice, Hayden, Allie—tell me what your key points are."
"Well, I came up with it. My mom is dating someone 12 years younger than her right now. She's 46 and he'll be 34 next week. When I was reading the book, it came to my mind that they would be about the same age difference as Romeo and Juliet, just both of them generally younger. Why does it matter when they're young, but not when they're old?"
"Watch who you're calling old, Hayden," I joked. The class laughed. "You do raise a good point, though. Why was it common for girls to be married often before puberty—Juliet was almost past her prime, guys, she was thirteen. Then when they did marry, why would it would be to someone often twice their age? Anyone have an idea?"
And so it went on. For about ten minutes we stayed on the topic, until I glanced at the clock and saw we were running out of time. "All right, before we go on to the next topic, anyone have any closing statements? No? Ok. So, Emmett, Jordan, Tiffany, Edward—who would like to start with your topic?"
Loudmouth started. "Juliet's parents loved Paris—he was everything they were looking for for their little girl. Good breeding, money, probably very handsome. Juliet could have easily gained affection for him, had she just gotten to know him. But instead she chose to live in secrecy, hiding her marriage, terrified that her parents would find out she had married the offspring of a family they had multi-generational hatred for."
"That's the whole point of the story, though." Liz jumped in. "That love at first sight, true love, lasts longer than affection. Affection is only a step up from tolerance, at least that's how I think. Sure, she would have been comfortable with Paris, but she would never have had the passion she shared with Romeo. My aunt dated a guy my parents loved all through high school. They were engaged. Then my aunt met Catherine, and left Randy for her. My parents disowned her and Randy bad-mouthed her to all their friends; she lost everyone she knew except my dad. I asked her once if it was worth it and she said she'd do it all again without a moment's hesitation.
"She could have stayed with Randy and lived her life in contentment. But she would always wonder about the blonde beauty who was the only person to ever beat her at poker." The class chuckled. "She's very happy, and that goes a lot further than security, I think."
"Your aunt, does she live here?" Edward asked. Liz nodded. "That can't be easy. Let's face it, Montana's kind of a close-minded place when it comes to gays and lesbians. I would think that being ostracized from her family and friends would be the least of her worries. There's no safety net for them in jobs, in housing here. Maybe on paper, but not always in practice. Not to mention the possibility of physical attack added to the personal attacks. Do you really think that's worth the risk?"
"She does. So I have to trust her. That doesn't mean I don't worry about it all the time. But she's careful, and Cathy's careful, and nothing like that's happened so far. We just hope for the best."
Another ten or so minutes passed in discussion before I announced that it was time to change the topic again. "Jesse, Liz, Marcie, and Kayla—go."
"I've always hated this story. Mostly because of Romeo." There was a sharp murmur as Marcie spoke. "I mean, it's terrible! Romeo is all heartbroken at the beginning of the book. 'Oh, woe is me, Rosaline will never be mine, I'm never gonna be happy, I'm never gonna be in love again.' The guy is a whiny little twerp! Then all of a sudden he sees this Juliet chick, and it's like, 'who's Rosaline?' It's disgusting." The class burst out in laughter, and I couldn't help but join in. Marcie was easily the class clown, but she knew when enough was enough, unlike a lot of the others. She really was funny.
"I understand what you mean, Marcie. I used to have a great deal of respect for this play, but about ten years ago, someone opened my eyes to the reality of it. Romeo is a fool. He's fickle, deceptive, has a hot temper. Juliet never paused to think that given his deception toward his own family, he may not be the most trustworthy person she could be with. And vice versa. Romeo never took the time to think, 'if she's willing to lie to her parents, would she lie to me?' Another thing to consider—he killed Juliet's cousin, for heaven's sake! If that doesn't prove he's a jerk, I don't know what does. What if he lost his temper with Juliet? What if Juliet did something to make Romeo angry—who's to say he couldn't easily kill her, too! Then, to kill himself after he thought Juliet was dead. Who here would want their husband to commit suicide just because their dead?
"On the same note, Juliet was an idiot." The class was staring at me in shock; I'd never spoken this passionately, but I barely noticed. I was on a roll, and suddenly it wasn't Romeo and Juliet I was talking about, it was Edward and Isabella. "She goes against the natural course of her life, makes a stupid decision to trust someone who had shown no deed of merit, and gives up her family, indeed her whole life as she knows it, for this man, who had murdered her own flesh and blood! When he leaves, she is miserable, she just can't bring herself out of this pining, so what does she do? She fakes her death in order to be with this man she hardly knows. Her poor parents! Trust me—no parent should see their child dead. She was selfish, and stupid.
"Romeo was a fool, and Juliet was an idiot."
My class just stared at me, some jaws slack. I chanced a peek at Edward. His fist was clenched over the table; I could see indents where his fingers had dug in to the pressed wood. He was grinding his teeth and his gaze was horrified. Emmett whispered something in his ear and Edward shot up out of his seat and barreled out of the room, his books and bag lying forgotten in his place.
"What's up with him?" Allie asked.
"Upset stomach. The whole family's got food poisoning," Emmett offered. He looked up at me with sad eyes.
I cleared my throat. "Ok. So, anyone else have an opinion on this subject?"
Jordan said something but I didn't hear it.
Edward didn't come back for his other class. I stashed his things under my desk before heading home for the weekend.
It had been almost two weeks since our fight, and he had yet to talk to me other than in class. I was both thankful and irritated at the same time, which only produced confusion in its wake. Why did I secretly want him to sneak in through my window at night and hold me like he used to, but at the same time I knew if he did it would only piss me off?
It was wrong of me to want him when things with Josh were going wonderfully. He was sweet, and funny, and he just…instinctually knew me. I found myself starting to fall for him. It terrified me and thrilled me and turned me into a giggly school girl. I always hated when girls acted like that, but I could understand now why they did—you just couldn't help it. Even more disturbing, I found I didn't mind being reduced to a pile of giggly mushy goo when Josh did something sweet. Fed me a bit of food off of his fork, or ruffled my hair or grabbed me around the waist from behind. It was years overdue to be acting like this and I reveled in the feeling.
I asked him to be at the apartment when Mike dropped Nicky off tonight. I was stirring the corn into the chicken chili when he knocked on my door.
"Come on in!" I shouted.
"Mmm…barefoot and in the kitchen. Just like I like 'em." He kissed my cheek and grabbed a drink from the fridge.
I hadn't changed out of my work clothes, a white feminine tank top with a flowery bolero over top, and a pair of my black slacks. My black ankle boots lay haphazardly by the door. My hair was still up in its messy bun. Josh pulled the band from my hair and ran his fingers through my wavy hair.
"Pig," I laughed. He laughed along with me and I turned down the stovetop. When I faced him I saw something strange on his face. "What the hell is that?"
"This?" he rubbed his upper lip.
"Yeah," I laughed.
"I'm growing a moustache. What do you think?"
I couldn't contain it. "You look like a bad porno star." I was doubled over laughing.
"Yes, it's working!" he fist-pumped the air. "Did someone order an extra large pizza?"
I couldn't speak or breathe by this point. When I finally composed myself and straightened up, he was eyeing me over his bottle of Bud. He wiped a tear from my cheek. I didn't think I was laughing that hard.
"Really, what do you think?"
"I dunno. Let's wait until it's past the 'pubescent teen' stage before we make judgments, huh?"
Josh just rolled his eyes and went to sit at the table.
I had just set the chili on simmer and grabbed myself a soda when Mike knocked on the door. I gave Josh a look that said, "here we go," and went to answer it.
"Mama!" Nicky threw his arms around my waist and I kissed his head.
"Hey, baby. How are you?"
"Good."
"Good. Dinner's ready, why don't you say goodbye to your dad and go wash up, ok?"
"Bye Daddy." Nicky hugged Mike and went to drop his stuff in his room.
"Thanks for dropping him off."
"Yep. You going to drop him off Sunday?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, I can do that. Did you remind him we have a counselor session tomorrow?"
"Yes. He's pretty nervous about it, so…" he trailed off. I was impressed. This was downright perky for Mike. Usually he took every opportunity to lay into me for something or another.
"'Kay. Well…thanks again."
"Yeah. Not a problem. I'll, uh, I'll see you Sunday I guess."
"See you then." I shut the door and came back into the kitchen to find Nicky sitting on Josh's lap. I smiled at the scene.
"You hungry buddy?" Nicky nodded and I served us all up chili and cornbread and salad. Nicky was yawning through the whole meal, so after dinner and a bath I sent him to bed. When I came out of his bedroom, Josh was sitting passed out on the couch. I smiled and came to curl up into him with my head on his lap. I threw a blanket over us and was almost immediately asleep.
When I woke up my head was on a pillow, the sun streaming through the curtains on the sliding door. There was a note on the coffee table—
Bella, took Nicky to get some breakfast. You looked so peaceful sleeping I didn't want to wake you up. Call me when you're awake and I'll bring home some breakfast for you. Josh.
Well that was sweet. I called him and asked him to bring me back a steak omelet. I heard them come in while I was still in the shower, so I hurried up and changed into jeans and a flowy blue t-shirt and the same jewelry from the day before still laying next to my sink. I took a look at my hair and decided to forgo doing anything with it.
My stomach let out a loud gurgle when I saw and smelled the omelet waiting for me in a Styrofoam box. I kissed Nicky on the head as he went into his bedroom then threw myself into a chair and devoured my breakfast.
"Wow. Hungry are we?" Josh teased on his way to the bathroom.
I nodded and took another forkful.
Nicky came out of his room and sat down next to me. "Mama? When we leaving?" he asked very softly.
"The appointment's at 3:30, so we probably need to leave around 3:00. Why?"
"Can we go to the park before?"
I thought for a minute. We didn't have anything else going on today. "Sure, baby. We can go to the park."
"Can Emmett come?"
I almost dropped my fork.
"And Ro-lee?"
"Rosalie?"
"Yeah."
I swallowed a large bite and set down my fork. An idea popped into my head. "I'll tell you what, Nicky. I know it's hard, but why don't you call Emmett and ask him to come?"
Nicky looked scared at the prospect. He thought about it for a moment, then slowly nodded. "Ok."
"Ok." I got up and dumped the box in the trash, then grabbed my phone from the charger on the counter and handed it to Nicky. I scrolled down to Emmett's name—they'd all given their numbers when I was at their house the other weekend. I hit speaker.
"Hello?" Rosalie's melodious voice sounded through the phone.
Nicky just looked at the phone with wide eyes. I'm sure he hadn't thought to what he would do if she answered
"Hello? Bella?" Pause. "Bel-la?" she clicked her tongue. "Put your phone on lock, butt-dialer."
Nicky laughed out loud.
"Nicky? Is that you?"
"Y…Yes."
"Hey, sweetie. How are you?" her voice grew soft and gentle.
"Ok."
"Good. Is everything all right?"
"Yeah."
"What's on your mind?"
Nicky didn't speak for a minute. Josh came out of the bathroom and I held a finger up to him then my mouth, warning him to stay quiet for a moment.
"Nicky? You still there hon?"
"Yeah."
Josh's eyebrows raised in shock.
"What's going on?"
His answer was part out-loud, part whisper, but I knew Rosalie would be able to hear him anyway. "You…Emmett…p-park…?"
"I'd love to. And I know Emmett's been wanting to see you. What time?"
Nicky looked up at me in silent question. "One o'clock," I mouthed. Nicky repeated.
"Sounds great! The one just by your apartment?"
"Yeah."
"All right, I'll see you then, Nicky. Bye!"
"Bye, Ro-lee." He pressed End on the phone and I threw my arms around him.
"I'm so proud of you!" he smiled shyly back.
"Good job, Nicky," Josh said.
"Why don't you get ready and clean up your room before we go, baby?" Nicky ran into his room and I took the opportunity to hold Josh close to me.
"That was so great," I sighed into his chest.
"Yeah. I'm really proud of him."
"Me too."
We ended up going to the park earlier than planned, just because Nicky was so wired. Josh and I talked and flirted while we were waiting for the Cullens. A bit later, a forest-green Jeep even more monstrous than the old one pulled up into the parking lot and Rosalie stepped out of the driver's seat in the most casual outfit I had ever seen her in—a pair of khaki Capris and a white button-down blouse with a purple jacket over it. Not even heels, just sandals. That really surprised me. Alice got out of the passenger seat. I should have guessed she would come. Jasper followed Emmett out of the back. I wasn't necessarily surprised to see Edward come out of the other side of the back, but irritation bit at me as he did.
Well this is the last thing I need…
Emmett waved at me and then went straight to where Nicky was crossing the monkey bars and tickled his tummy. Rosalie went to sit on a swing and watched them, laughing. Alice, Jasper, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named came to sit next to Josh and I on a picnic table under a large maple tree raining golden leaves down on us with each blast of wind.
"Hey, Bella!" Alice chirped. She bent down to hug me and sat down next to me.
"Hi, Alice. How's it going?" Jasper took a seat across the table from Alice, Edward leaned against the end on his hip, arms crossed.
"Wonderfully! I'm going to Spokane next weekend, so I've been planning the trip. I'm so excited! You should come with me!" she flapped her hands in the air.
Spokane was the default town when one couldn't find what they needed in Missoula, a bit of a larger town than Kalispell about two hours away. Spokane was four hours out, across Idaho and just into Washington. The only reason anyone here went there was for shopping, as if Alice needed any other reason.
"Thanks, Alice, but no. You know how I feel about shopping."
"But it'll be so much fun! We can take in a show, and we'll get a room and have a girl's weekend. Rose and Esme are coming, too."
"I don't know…" She knew she had me already, but decided to go in for the kill anyway.
"You can get a massage."
That was the selling point right there.
"Fine. But if you put one smudge of nail polish or pull out some kind of over-done ball gown, I swear…"
"Yay!" she leaned forward and hugged me again.
"So, how do y'all know Bella anyway? Aren't you her student, Edward?" Josh asked.
"She used to babysit us," Alice cut in. She shot Edward a warning look. "When we moved here, we saw each other for the first time in forever. Small world, huh?"
"Small world, yeah…" Josh said. He looked at his watch. "Bella, I need to get going. I have to be at the restaurant in an hour."
"Ok." He gave me a kiss and said, "Call me tonight or tomorrow and let me know how it goes," he said.
"Will do. Bye."
"Bye, babe. Nice to meet all of you. Edward." He nodded at Edward and turned to go across the street, where his truck was still parked by the apartment. Oh, God, had his butt always looked that good? Jasper cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably.
"Sorry."
He just raised his eyebrow at me with a little smirk on his face.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say a thing, Bella."
"You were thinking it."
Jasper just rolled his eyes with that stupid smile. I huffed.
A scream sounded from the swing set. Emmett had Nicky going so high on the swing the chain went slack. Nicky was kicking his legs and screeching happily each time the swing dropped.
Cha-thunk! "Ahh-ha-ha-ha!" Cha-thunk! "Ahh-hahaha-ha-ha!" I laughed along with everyone else at the table. I hadn't seen Nicky this happy in a long, long time. I felt eyes on my face and looked up at Edward without changing my expression. The look on his face was curious and considering. I arched an eyebrow at him and he just shrugged and looked back to the swings.
"So, Bella. Tell me about Josh," Alice said after a few minutes. Edward not-so-subtly shoved off from the table and went to stroll around the grass.
"What do you want to know?"
"How did you meet?"
"He's my boss at the diner."
"Really? That doesn't bug you?"
I shrugged. "No. I don't get any special treatment, and I like it that way. I would feel bad if he cut me slack just for being his girlfriend."
"So you guys are exclusive then?"
Another shrug. "I guess. I mean, we haven't said it out loud, but I know I wouldn't date anyone else right now, and I don't think he would either."
"How do you feel about him?" she was steadily leaning closer and closer to me with a sly look on her face.
"Do you mind if we talk about this later, Alice? I don't really feel comfortable doing it with your brother here." I cut my gaze to Edward, who was lying on his back contemplating the overcast sky. It was fairly warm for this time of year, but still too cold for my liking.
"Sure. I'm sorry."
"It's ok."
She fished around for another topic. I loved Alice, but she felt like something needed to be said at all times. I reveled in quiet.
"So…what brought you to Montana of all places? I figured you would go back to Arizona after you graduated or something."
"It's a long story."
"I've got a lot of time."
I laughed. "I guess you do." I sighed. "Ok, um…after you…left…" I swallowed hard. "I started to date Mike. About a year after we graduated, I got pregnant. Mike and I got married, and he had a lot of family in Billings. I finished my teaching degree there while raising Grace. Mike was on a fast-track to being a lawyer, and graduated about a year before me. A couple of months before Nicky was born, his aunt moved here to Kalispell, so Mike wanted to follow. That's pretty much it."
I looked out at Nicky and Rosalie going down the slide together. He had a puppy-love look in his eye that made me smile.
"Bella?" Alice took my hand. "What happened to Grace?"
I exhaled a shaky breath. The hole started crumbling apart. I looked to where Edward was and saw him sitting up in the longish grass, staring at me intently. "She drowned." I was so used to telling the lie I knew it wouldn't register with them. My heart didn't speed up anymore telling it. "A year ago last Fourth of July." A couple of traitor tears slipped down my cheek onto the picnic table. Alice squeezed my hand as Edward started making his way over with that determined look in his eye. I couldn't talk to him now.
"Nicky! Nicky, come on, it's time to go!" Emmett swung him over his shoulder and came running across the playground. "Put your coat on, baby, we gotta get going."
"But I'm having fun with Emmett!"
I hid my glee at him actually exclaiming out around other people. "I know, but we have to get to your appointment." His shoulders slumped and he nodded. He shrugged into his jacket as I hugged Alice good-bye.
"So you're in for next weekend?" she asked.
"I suppose."
"Great! I'll give you a call next week and let you know of all the details." We said our good-byes by the Jeep and headed back to the apartment.
"Go ahead and change into something nicer, baby," I said as we got through the door.
"Why?"
"Because your clothes are dirty, and I don't want you wearing dirty play-clothes to your counselor's."
"Uggh."
"Watch your attitude, Nicky."
"All right, Nicky, our time's up for today. Why don't you go out into the waiting room while I speak to your mom, ok?" Nicky nodded and left quietly. I heaved a sigh.
"Well?" I asked. It had been another day of frustrating silence from Nicky. Dr. Lacey, his counselor, had asked him yes-or-no questions, only a handful of which he had moved his head to. She asked him to draw a picture before I had come into the room; I had yet to see it. She pulled it out from her drawer and held it out to me.
"Do you know these people, Bella?" she asked.
It was a picture of me, Josh, Nicky, and the Cullens—three of them. The bulky character could only be Emmett. He was standing to the right of Rosalie, who had Nicky in front of her, arms crossed lovingly over his chest. I assumed it was Edward who stood to the left of Rosalie, holding hands with me; Josh in his cowboy hat was on the other side with his arm around my shoulders. Everyone but Edward and I had big smiles on their faces.
I nodded. "Those are some friends of mine. We spent some time at the park with them today."
"Has he spoken to any of them?" Dr. Lacey asked.
I nodded again. "He speaks to Rosalie. That one—" I pointed to her. "It's only simple words, usually in answer to her, but he talks. Emmett, that one there, he loves. They horse around and play games often."
"And the other two?"
"The one on the right is Edward, Rosalie and Emmett's brother; the one on the left is Josh, he's a man I've been dating."
"Does Nicky know that you and Josh are dating?"
"Um…I don't think so. We've been seeing each other for about three weeks, and this is Nicky's second weekend being around us when we're alone together. He's my boss at my second job, so if I have to work when I have Nicky, Josh sets him up in his own booth, gives him food and toys and stuff. So, he's known Josh for about nine months, but we've only been dating for, like I said, three weeks."
"And does Nicky talk to Josh at all?"
"No. But he does climb onto his lap, and play and laugh with him."
"That's good. Did Nicky tell you why he chose to talk to Rosalie?"
"Not in so many words…" Dr. Lacey cocked her head with an inquisitive smile on her lips. "Rosalie is…built like Heidi Klum."
She laughed. "I see."
"Yeah. So he's just smitten with her. I think that's why he talks to her."
"Ok. Tell me about the other man. Edward, is it?"
"What about him?"
"Do you know why Nicky is depicting Edward holding your hand? And why neither of you are smiling when the rest are?"
I looked back at the picture. "I honestly don't know. There's nothing going on with Edward or I. He's my student. In fact, Emmett is also, and Rosalie goes to the school I teach at. I really have no idea about that part."
She nodded. "All right. Well, we'll have to keep that in mind, and try to find a way to bring that up, to ask Nicky about Edward." She glanced at the clock. "Ok, we have about five minutes left. Are there any questions you want to ask me?"
"Yes, actually, there is something. I know that Nicky doesn't really like Amanda. He's told me this. But I also know that he adores Josh. I know that he talks to his future step-mom, even if it's just, 'yes, no, ok, goodnight' that sort of thing. Josh talks to him with kindness and respect. I just don't get why he hasn't even said hi to him."
She smiled. "You should feel good about that."
"Why?"
"It seems to me that Nicky is afraid of Amanda. I've seen them interact on occasion, and she's…very overbearing of him. Nicky doesn't speak to Josh because he's comfortable around him; he doesn't feel pressured or forced to speak. I think that the more Nicky gets to know Josh the more he'll open up."
Huh. "I never thought about it like that. Thanks."
"You're welcome. Is there anything else?"
"How would be the best way to tell him that we're dating?"
"Hmm…that's tricky. I would just make sure he's in a good mood, somewhere familiar, and have Josh there. I don't think it's going to be a problem, honestly, knowing Nicky. Just keep it real."
"Yeah. Ok."
"All right. So I'll guess I'll see you next month then?" Dr. Lacey stood up and shook my hand from across the desk. She led me out and shut the door behind me.
Nicky was in the waiting room, finding hidden pictures in a kids' magazine. "You ready to go?" He nodded and set the magazine down on the couch. He held my hand on the way out with a death grip. As we settled into the truck, I sighed hard. "Well I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for dinner. Where do you want to go?" Nicky's eyes lit up.
"Can we go to the diner? Please?"
"I figured you would want to go to Wendy's or something like that." I hated fast-food, nearly as much as it hated my digestive system, but I indulged Nicky in it on days like this. It surprised me when he asked for the diner.
"Nah. I want to see Josh."
"Ok. What do you think of Josh, Nicky?"
"He's nice."
"Yeah? What's so nice about him?"
"He doesn't be mean to me. Or yell at me. He plays with me more than Daddy does." Nicky looked down to his lap, where his hands were twisting around.
I nodded, unable to think of a response for that one. "Well…I'm glad you like him."
I pulled into the parking lot to the diner a few minutes later. Nicky ran through the door straight up to Josh and ploughed into his legs as he was taking an order.
"Hey, buddy."
"Nicky! Don't do that. Come here, you know better than that. I'm sorry Josh. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson." The elderly regulars just smiled at Nicky.
"It's all right, Bella. We don't mind. How are you, Nicky?" Mrs. Johnson asked. Nicky just sort of waved from behind Josh's legs. I grabbed his hand and led him to a booth after saying hi to them.
I was just scolding Nicky for interrupting when Josh came by.
"Hey, guys."
"Hey."
"What are you two up to?"
"Just getting some dinner."
"Ah. How did it go today?"
"It was all right. How has it been here? You look slammed." I gestured to the almost-empty restaurant. "I swear, I saw a tumbleweed blow out the door on my way in."
"Actually, we've been busy until about a half-hour ago." He smiled at me. "So, what can I get you guys?" he asked.
I loved that I was able to joke and tease with Josh. I was never able to do that with Mike, he'd get mad or annoyed with me if I used the tiniest bit of sarcasm. I'd laughed more in the past three weeks than I remember laughing since…well, that was just the thing. I didn't ever remember laughing so much.
We ordered our dinner, and shared a piece of pie before going home. Josh sneaked a kiss from me without Nicky seeing before leaving. At home Nicky and I played checkers and watched a movie until we were both yawning and struggling to keep our eyes open.
It was nice to crawl into bed after such a long day. Underneath my blankets was warm and comfortable. It wasn't long until I was asleep.
ATV's with rotating lights. Reporters shoving microphones in my face. Nicky. Where's Nicky? I'm running and running, but the sand weighs me down, makes it virtually impossible to move. I'm running, running, but I can't move. Behind me, policemen and reporters chase me for interviews. Why? My daughter just died and all I want was to find my son…why can't I reach him? He must be so scared…I start calling out to him, but the more I scream, the closer the people following me get, the more frantically they wave papers and cameras at me. It would end the same as it always did, I knew it, but I couldn't stop it. I would fall in the ocean and drown, then wake up with my pillow sopping wet from tears, and unable to breathe, choking on air.
"Bella."
Who is calling me? This isn't how it normally goes.
"Bella, angel, wake up."
Angel? Am I an angel? Am I dead already?
"Isabella! Wake up!"
Rough shaking woke me suddenly. My pillow was wet with tears and my throat was sore from yelling. It took me a moment to register the whisperings in my ear weren't from the dream.
"Shh…Bella, it's ok. It's all right, my Bella, hush. Shhh…" My crying lessened to whimpers and then to a few stray tears. I turned around, still wrapped in cold arms.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Alice told me to come. She wouldn't say why, just that you needed me. Do you…do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head. "Can't. No, I can't." I started crying again.
"It's ok, it's ok. You don't have to." He tucked my head under his chin.
"Nicky?"
"He's still asleep. He didn't even hear you." We were silent for a few minutes, until Edward spoke up. "Are you all right now?" his voice was very soft.
"Yeah." It was true enough for what he meant.
He squeezed me closer for a moment, then let go of me and started to get up. I held onto him with a death grip. "Where are you going?" I asked.
"Home. I know you probably don't want me here. I just…wanted to be here for you." He tried to pry himself from me again. I gripped him even tighter.
"Stay?" I knew I would regret it in the morning, but right now, this moment, I needed Edward. I would deal with the repercussions later.
"You're sure?" he asked.
"Yes."
"All right." He lowered himself back down and pulled me closer so I was resting on his chest. I sighed in contentment. Tonight Edward would stay. I would sleep nestled into his shoulder, with his arm around me. I wouldn't have another nightmare.
Tonight I would sleep in Edward's arms, pretending things were like they were.
Tomorrow could bring what it may.