Hello to all my wonderful readers! And a special thank you to my reviewers. There would be no story without you. Ok, there would, but it would suck more.
Hope you enjoy this chapter, we're taking a little trip to Spokane today.
S.M. owns Twilight. I own a pretty new gold and burgundy comforter set...so gorgeous! I'm excited.
XOXO-Ka
Right Vs. Good
by: JudeOrion
Chapter Seven: I hate shopping
When I woke up in the morning, Edward was gone and I could see why. The sun was actually up today, bright and vibrant and cheerfully contrary to how I really felt after last night.
I remembered the nightmare. I knew that had happened without a doubt. But had Edward really come to my rescue? I lifted my head and looked to the spot next to me. The blankets were rumpled. As if to prove it once and for all, there was a note taped to my dresser mirror in his slick beautiful handwriting.
My Bella—I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from your nightmare last night. I do hope I was able to lessen the pain of it a bit by being there at least. I had to leave early—I'm sure you can see why by looking outside. I didn't want to have to wake you. Have a pleasant day. All my love, Edward.
Stupid damn vampire!
"All my love." Hah. I tried desperately to act indignant, clinging to the one scrap of injustice he offered me in the letter. If I was truthful, though? I was grateful that he had been there for me last night. I'd been able to lose myself next to him, to go to sleep. After ten years, he still knew me almost better than I knew myself, and it got under my skin.
I punched my pillow in frustration. I thought I was past all this high-school-musical drama shit.
"Bella, come on! The mall opens at nine!" Alice pounded on my bedroom door.
"How did you get into my apartment?" I grouched as I pulled my panties on. Alice burst into the room. "I'm half naked, Alice!"
"Yeah, and I see myself fully naked every day. It's not a big deal. Now come on!" She dumped a plastic shopping bag on my bed and pointed at it. "Put those on." She snapped my boyshorts over my ass and rooted around in my closet while I pulled out the first article out of the bag. Sighing, I put the bra on. Stupid strapless instrument of terror.
"Did you know where my spare key was?" I asked her. She just shot me a sarcastic look and continued to rummage through my clothes, appraising what I would need, I assumed. "Right. Forgot who I was talking to for a minute there." Alice tossed a shirt onto my bed and I pulled it on without argument. It was a soft brown shirt with lace from the elbows and top of the chest up that my mom had given me two years prior. I think I had worn it once, for fifteen minutes on a webcam chat—yes, my mom had mastered webcam use finally—to thank her for the shirt, then promptly shed it and wadded it in the back corner of the closet. It was pretty, but I had to wear a strapless bra with it, and I hated them with a passion.
I would never admit it to her, for fear of spurring her on, but Alice had done a good job. This strapless wasn't half-bad as far as they went.
Still, though. "You realize you're going to pay for this, right Alice?" I asked.
"Blood, sweat, tears, or a bookstore?" she asked, stepping out of my closet with a dress dangling from her fingers, holding it up next to me in consideration.
"Seeing as you don't have three out of the four, it would have to be the bookstore."
"The jeans, too." I pulled them out of the bag and shimmied into them. They fit well, if a bit too tight at the calf. I saw why they needed to be tight when I dug into the bottom of Alice's Bag O' Torment.
"No."
"Bel-la! You have to!"
"Why do I have to wear these?"
"Because you're from Montana!"
"I'm from the Olympic Peninsula, not here. Besides, it's only on the other side of the mountains where Montanans wear these." Well, mostly anyway.
"What about Josh?"
"He's from the far eastern side."
"Great, so he'll appreciate you wearing the getup. Put them on and send him a picture."
"Alice—"
"You promised as long as it wasn't some kind of over-done ball gown…"
I growled unimpressively at her and tugged the stupid cowboy boots over my feet. I tried to pull the jeans over them, but they were molded too snugly to my legs. Stupid damn vampire. She thought of everything, didn't she?
Hell would have to freeze over before I ever wore the hat, though.
Rosalie and Esme were waiting in Carlisle's Mercedes.
"Why aren't we taking Rose's BMW? I thought that was the plan? Not that I'm complaining," I said as I slid into the back seat.
"Forecast changed," Alice said simply. "Looks like it's going to be sunny on-and-off around Coeur d'Alene, so we had to take the car with the tint just in case. And we have to leave before noon tomorrow, because the sun's going to be out at about one and follow us home."
"Bella, do you need to stop for anything on the way out?" Esme asked from the passenger seat.
"No. I'm good. Thanks."
"All right then. Just let me know when you need to stop."
"Ok, music. Music." Rosalie tossed a small CD holder into my lap and I rummaged through it. I hadn't heard most of it, but found a CD that one of the girls in my second period had been raving about, so handed it up and sat back. It was hip-hop, and I recognized the first couple of songs vaguely, probably from commercials.
"Ok, Bella. I've waited all week, now spill!"
"I'm sorry?" I turned to Alice as Rosalie twisted in her seat to face us.
"You are going to tell me about Josh, and you're going to tell me right now!"
"Jeez, we aren't even off of Main Street and you're bombarding me?" I asked incredulously.
"I've waited long enough." Her voice had that dangerous tenor that told me there was no way out of this.
"Fine. What do you want to know?"
"How did you meet?"
"I told you already. He's my boss."
"First impression?"
"Geeky in a charming way."
"And now?"
"Charming in a geeky way."
Alice sneered at me in response to my sarcasm.
It went on like that for—I am not even kidding—45 minutes. We stopped in a visitor center in a rinky-dink town halfway there when I had to pee. I'd forgotten that even Esme drove like a maniac, and the normal two hours to the center took less than half that time.
"Bella! I haven't gotten to the big questions yet!"
"Yeah, but I squeezed two kids outta me! My bladder's not what it used to be; I gotta pee!" I wrenched my way out of the car, stretched and popped and creaked, then headed to the bathroom. My phone had buzzed as we entered cell service again, but I didn't want to check it in the car with Little-Ms. Oh-My-God-And-What-Did-He-Say-Then hovering over me.
Bella—just wanted to say hi and have fun. Be careful. I'll call you tonight, ok? Can't wait till I get to see you again, babe. Josh.
I smiled at his text. I didn't tell Alice all the details, but things were getting very heated between Josh and I. Just last night we had been about five minutes from him staying over until I reminded him about the trip. Just remembering the way he had touched me last night had me rubbing my legs together. Oh, the feeling of his fingers slipping inside of me was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Mike's idea of foreplay had always been getting me drunk enough to let him touch me at all.
My second text did not make me smile.
Have a safe trip.
Have a safe trip? That's all? Not even a name at the end, or a 'have fun'? I didn't even recognize the number, but I didn't have to be a genius to figure out it was Edward. I sighed heavily and put my phone in my pocket.
Alice and Rosalie were looking at the little trinkets and gaudy rhinestone-clad things embellished with quotes written in glitter. They were shaking with laughter.
"You done? Can we get back on the road?" Alice asked.
I nodded my head and followed them out. Funny, how a trip for a shopping spree felt so much like a prisoner being marched to death row.
Another hour later and we were in Spokane. I liked Spokane well enough, but it didn't have the feel that Seattle did. Seattle was, despite constantly gloomy in weather, fresh-feeling and energetic. Spokane had a bit of a run-down feeling, and tended to make me feel claustrophobic.
Esme stopped at a deli so I could grab a late breakfast, then we had some time to kill before we had to check into the hotel. Alice—being, well, Alice—decided that we were going to hit the mall before going to the shops downtown.
We were in a hip chain store on the upper level when my phone buzzed again with a text.
Did you make it there all right?
I ignored the text and continued trying on shirt after shirt that Alice was throwing over the stall door.
When 2:30 came around, we went and checked into the hotel. Alice, Rose, and Esme decided to go hunting around the area tonight while I slept, so I didn't understand the need to go to a fancy hotel like the one they were putting me up in. A cheap place would have been just as well, and I would have been able to afford it myself and spare the fifteen-minute argument about the Cullens paying for everything. I already knew to just accept it when it came to clothes; apparently the rule went for everything else as well.
As I was admiring the room, with its large plush bed, wall-mounted TV, and a tub I could lay full out in, my phone rang with a third text message.
Bella, you're starting to worry me. Will you at least text me to let me know you are all right?
I rolled my eyes. What did he think was going to happen? His mother was driving, and she and his sisters were escorting me everywhere. What, did he think the sidewalk would just open up and swallow me whole or something?
Eh. Knowing my luck, it probably would, but still. He was getting to be really annoying.
Rosalie and Alice were discussing where to go next, and Esme had gone AWOL somewhere between the lobby and here. Huh.
Where could she be?
I shrugged to myself and took the opportunity to look through the bags upon bags from the mall. I had condensed as much as I could, stuffing things from stores into different bags where they had room, but I still ended up with four large bags filled bursting with clothes, accessories, and random things Alice said I "just can't live without!"
My question was how, if she claimed I couldn't live without it, how had I survived before now?
I was pondering a pretty denim skirt that I could probably pull off in school, when my phone sounded yet again.
Isabella—call me, text me, something. Please. I am going crazy over here.
I don't know what it was, but some childish instinct told me not to answer him. This was my weekend. I never got a break, and I was not letting him get in the way of it.
"All right, Bella, you ready to go?" Alice brought me out of my fuming.
"Yeah." I stood up from the bed and pulled my shirt over my waist. "Where are we going?" I asked as I shrugged my coat on and followed them out the door.
"A few shops here and there. Esme was setting up our appointments for tomorrow at the spa. She's out in the car in front waiting for us now." Across the street, I grabbed a cup of coffee, thinking I would need it before getting in the car and driving to my certain doom. Ok, maybe I was exaggerating a little bit.
I was watching the city pass by me when several things happened at once.
My phone alerted me to another text.
Esme answered a phone call from Carlisle.
Alice suddenly growled and yelled, "He had better not ruin my day!"
Alice's exclamation startled me and I jumped and spilled hot coffee all over my lap.
"Shit! Holy shit, fuckity fucker!" I screamed in pain, half bouncing in my seat.
"No, I think she's all right, Carlisle. She just spilled coffee on herself."
"Fucking Alice fucking made me do it! Shit!" My thighs and crotch felt like they were lit on fire.
"Do you have those bottles of water up there, Rose?" Alice asked. Rosalie handed one to Alice and she unscrewed the cap and moistened a scrap of cloth she had produced out of nowhere. "Take your pants off, Bella."
"What? You shitting me?" We were on the freeway, with people all around us, and she wanted me to take my freaking pants off?
"The windows are tinted, Bella," Alice said as if I was a child.
Oh. Yeah.
I gingerly unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, pulling them down carefully. "Shit," I hissed as they went over my legs and dropped to the floor. My panties were completely soaked, too.
"Those, too Bella. We're all women here."
"It's not the women I worry about. It's a certain thought-seeing brother of yours," I grumbled. I pulled them down, too, though and took the cloth from Alice. I gently wiped my legs and crotch with the soothing cold cloth. Alice pointed at my vagina with her mouth slack.
"When did you start doing that?"
"Um…are you seriously asking me that?"
"Yes! When?"
I shrugged and dabbed more. "Right after Mike and I started…you know. Having sex. It was just easier." I had mopped up most of the burning coffee, but it still stung so I kept the cloth over my legs. Great. All of my clothes were at the hotel. What was I going to do?
"Well, at least we can mark that off the spa list."
"Alice! You were going to have me waxed?" I shuddered. "That's just too painful for words."
"You shave?"
"Does this look like a wax job? Jeez, I can't even believe I'm having this discussion with you."
"Esme, pull over on the next exit, please. I'll stop in a store and grab Bella something to wear."
I remembered why I had burned myself as Esme started weaving through to the right lane, still talking quietly with Carlisle on the phone.
"Alice, why did you yell?" I asked.
Her face darkened.
"Check your phone. I'm sure that will tell you all you need to know." I bent over and pulled my cell out of my pants which were pooled at my feet. At the same time, Alice got on her own phone.
I'm coming over there.
"What? Uggh. That idiot."
"Edward, she is fine. Don't you dare come over here, this is a girls' day only!" Pause "She's fine!" Pause "What did Carlisle say?" Pause "Yeah, she spilled coffee on herself but she's just fine! No, she's not—"pause—"no, don't you dare. It's not even a burn! It's just red!" Pause "Edward Anthony Masen, if you come within twenty miles of Spokane Valley, I will personally turn you into a burning purple cloud of death, do you understand me?" She hung up without waiting for a response and became stark-still, looking for the future. She sighed in frustration after a minute.
"He'll be here tonight. He wants to make sure you're not hurt and then he'll leave."
I leaned back into the seat in irritated resignation. We all knew there was no stopping Edward.
My feet ached. My back hurt. My jeans were rubbing my burn the wrong way, and I was hungry. I leaned against the wall in the elevator after waving the girls off to do their own thing. I would be fine getting to the room on my own, I assured them. Alice and Rose had drug me to every single store in this God-forsakenly large town, and my body was beyond weary as proof. All I wanted to do was eat the pizza I had picked up, take a long bath, and crawl into bed. It was already well past ten; eleven in Montana.
I let the tub fill as I wolfed down my dinner, then stripped, grabbed one of my new books from the eighth—yes, eighth—bag I looked through, and slipped under the water, sighing contentedly.
I was halfway through the first chapter when my phone rang from the ledge. I smiled as I recognized the ringtone.
"Hey, handsome."
"Hey. How's it going?" Josh asked from the other end.
"It's…going." I chuckled. "I've had a very long day, let's put it that way."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine. Just sore. I was non-stop today. And I burned myself."
"What?" I loved the way his voice rose in concern. "Why? What happened?"
"I just spilled coffee on my lap. No big deal. The embarrassing part was that I had to take my jeans and underwear off in the car in front of the girls."
"Wish I was there."
"Very funny. Do you know how embarrassing it was to be totally bare from the waist down in front of a student? Not only a student, but one I used to babysit, and her mother and sister?" At least it would be true enough to get across just how mortified I was, even if it was for different reasons, technically.
Josh was laughing. "Oh, wow. Yeah, that would be embarrassing. Wait, wait. Can I write this down, please? 'Dear Penthouse…' I think it has potential."
"I'm going to hang up on you, I swear." My words held no authority, however, because I was laughing my ass off along with him.
When we had calmed down somewhat, Josh spoke again. "I just wanted to wish you a good night, babe."
"Oh. Well thanks. That's sweet of you."
"Have a good night."
"You too. 'Night."
We hung up and I stayed in the bath another fifteen or so minutes. I pulled the plug and took a quick shower, washing away all the stress of the day.
And, when I walked into the main room wearing nothing but a low-slung towel draped around my chest, who should be leaning against the wall, waiting for me, but my own personal stalker? He startled me being there, and I jumped and yelped.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
I narrowed my eyes at him, then stomped to the pile of bags on the bed, rummaged through them until I found the Victoria's Secret bag, grabbed a pair of pajamas, and went back to the bathroom to change. I brushed my hair and teeth, took a deep breath, and came back out to face him.
"I'm fine. See? Ok? You happy now?" He grimaced at my tone and I sighed. It wasn't really his fault. I knew how he was, he couldn't help himself. "I'm sorry. I've had a trying day. Not that that's an excuse, but…I'm sorry." I forced my eyes away from his gaze and rummaged in my purse for my cigarettes, simultaneously walking toward the balcony. I lit one up and leant over the railing. The height made me dizzy, but I relished any feeling that took focus away from the eyes burning holes into my back. I didn't realize Edward was on the balcony until my cigarette was suddenly gone from my fingers.
"What gives?" I said angrily.
"It's bad for you."
"So are you, but yet here you stand next to me."
"Why did you even start? The Bella I knew abhorred cigarettes." He pondered the glowing stick he was twirling in his long lithe fingers. My mind couldn't help but flash to last night, with Josh's hand doing things that turned my brain into a puddle. But Josh's hands were shorter, his fingers thicker. I had always swore that men with rough, calloused hands wouldn't be good at that sort of thing, but he proved me completely wrong. Edward cleared his throat loudly; I snapped myself out of it and answered his question angrily.
"You left the Bella you knew on the floor of a forest. This Bella was looking for a distraction from misery when she picked up her first cigarette at a kegger at Lauren Mallory's party." I tried to snatch it from him but he flicked it over the railing before I could get close. I scoffed and turned back into the room. The clock showed almost one a.m. Had I really been in the bath that long? Urgh. I had to get up in time for the 8:00 appointment for the damn spa tomorrow. Or today, technically.
The Ever Annoying One followed me into the room, snapping the door shut behind him and closing the curtains.
"Why didn't you answer any of my texts? I was worried sick about you."
"Really? Vampires can get sick?" I asked with sarcastic enthusiasm. Edward didn't acknowledge what I'd said other than to raise one eyebrow. "Oh, my God! It's none of your business how I was!"
"Is it Josh's business?"
Did he really just take this there?
"Yes! Because he is my boyfriend. Unlike certain obsessive people who don't know when to quit."
"Boyfriend? I wasn't aware that you two had decided to be exclusive, with the titles and whatnot. Moving up, are we?" His voice held as much acidity as mine did, and it only served to fuel me on.
"Yes. My boyfriend. And while we may not have made it exclusive in so many words, I know there's no one else I would date right now, and I think he feels the same way. He does all the things a boyfriend should do. He takes me on dates. He laughs with me, and he asks me how my day was. I make dinner for him, we watch movies, he takes me out and holds my hand. He holds me. He kisses me. He touches me."
Edward curled a lip at me. "Is that why I can smell his seed all over you?" Edward looked like he wanted to take the words back before I even registered what he said. He straightened his back and held his palms up like he was talking down a man with a gun. "I'm sorry, Bella. That was out of line. Please, please forgive me."
"What do you mean?" I knew I had used soap to shower, I hadn't been that out of it last night or twenty minutes ago, when I had showered. I sniffed at my still-damp hair.
"Nothing, Bella. Just forget I said anything." He turned to rifle through a shopping bag from some trendy place Alice had insisted on taking me to.
"No way, you're not getting off that easy. Just what the hell do you mean by that?" I got up and gripped his chin, jerking his face to mine. He gently took my wrist and lowered it; he took a step back and sighed.
"I just mean…no matter how hard you scrub, some smells take longer than others to wash out."
"But we didn't…have sex." God, was I really having this conversation?
"That may be, but the smell of arousal lingers for a long time." He cleared his throat. "So did you have fun with Alice? I see she got you some very nice things."
"Nice attempt at changing the subject. You are still in so much trouble right now."
"I'm trying, Bella. Humor me?" He raised his eyes, while still pawing through the bag. He shot his eyes back to his hands and stilled his movements for a moment before pulling out a cashmere V-neck sweater, one of the few things I had actually asked for today.
It was stupid, I know. Yes, I could have argued that I loved cashmere, which I did. But soft wool would have felt fine, and looked great also.
I could have argued that I had the perfect color camisole at home that would go very well with the color of the low-cut top.
I could have even argued that I suspected Alice would have forced it on me anyway and I was trying to spare her feelings by pretending to be at least a little interested in shopping.
They would have all been lies. In truth, it was the same color blue as the shirt I had worn that day, long ago, when I had met Edward's parents for the first time.
The shirt that still smelled like him, that I had hiding between my mattress and box spring, for bad days when I needed some kind of comfort that no other person or thing could offer.
The look on Edward's face as he held the soft fabric close to the neck on my skin told me he knew, also.
"I know where you keep the shirt. It surprised me immensely when I found it the other night." His voice was a bare whisper, but I caught it easily in the tense silence. He tossed the shirt on the bed behind me and brought his hand to cup my neck. Despite my anger, I felt myself relaxing as he touched me. "You can act as hard as you want, Isabella. I know you still feel for me. You know it too, buried inside yourself somewhere. I'll bring it out, if it's the last thing I do. That's a promise."
Edward straightened, moved his hand to the back of my head so he could hold it in place, and kissed my hair.
"I'll fight for you. I'll do anything to keep you."
He was gone, out the front door before I could ask him to stay.
No, I told myself. I really, truly didn't wish I could have found the voice to call after him, to beg him to.
I couldn't even totally convince myself.
"You like it?"
"It's…different," I said, palming my hair.
"But do you like it?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"You guess so?"
"I mean, I've never had short hair before."
"I wouldn't really call it short. It's still below your shoulders." She touched where the hairfell, just above the bottom of my shoulder blades.
"I've never had it above my waist since I was a kid. It's weird. Like a part of me has been chopped off."
Kimber nodded and smiled at me. We were sitting in my apartment Sunday night, going over her homework from my class, which she was struggling with. Struggling was a loose word, she just did not understand it. I was glad I lived so close to her so I could help her out. It's something I wish I could do for all of my students. I was dead tired, it was close to midnight, and I was going to have to say good-bye to Kimber soon if either of us had a chance of staying awake tomorrow. We both had been yawning for the past half-hour.
She sat back down on the floor across the coffee table from me. "I just ain't getting it."
I tried once again to think of some way to explain it to her. She had been having a hard time understanding underlying meanings of stories, and I was running out of ways to try to get the point across to her. I had started out telling her a quote—"You can't see the forest for all of the trees."
That just led to a twenty-minute discussion about what the quote itself meant.
"Ok, Kimber we're going to have to wrap this up. I didn't get any sleep last night, and I desperately need some. Can we pick this up on Tuesday?" I asked. She nodded. "Ok. So, I want you to go over this tomorrow." I handed her a poem filled with underlying meanings. "Stop at the end of each line and think—what could this be a symbol for? Like this—" I pointed to a particular couple of sentences. "What does the author mean when he compares this relationship to a lilac blossom?"
Kimber shrugged. "It's…beautiful?"
"Yes, there you go. But there's more to it than that. How long does a lilac blossom last? Only a few weeks, if that, right?" Kimber nodded again. "I know it doesn't come right out and say it, but there's underlying hints that it was short-lived. This is just one of many."
We said our good-byes and I assured her I would give her a ride tomorrow. I cleaned the living room up, showered, and laid down on my bed. The pillow crinkled under my head—that was odd. I felt underneath it and came up with an envelope addressed to me. With shaking hands, I opened the flap and pulled out the letter inside.
Isabella—
I'm very sorry of how I acted last night. It was uncalled for, and I can only ask for your forgiveness. I did mean what I said, however, when I told you I would fight for you. You can bet I'll fight dirty if I have to. You belong with me, and deep down you know it. I love you, my sweet flower. My lilac blossom.
I'm sorry for the expression. I couldn't help but eavesdrop. Forgive me that, also, if you can find it in you.
All my love, your Edward.
I ran my fingers over the imprint the pen had left in the page.
Let him fight all he wanted. He'd have to fight dirty if he really wanted me that bad.
Without even thinking, I reached down and felt the sleeve of the blue shirt peeking out from under my mattress. I tugged it free and held it to me as I fell asleep.
Yes, I told myself. He would definitely have to fight very, very hard.
Who's she fooling? Show of hands? Anyone? Ha. Didn't think so. See you next time!