Okay, the fans have spoken. Looks like we're going to be reading the next chapter of TSATCZBFS. To those who didn't want this, erm, I'll make it up to you in the next chapter. XD

Oh, and I believe this could possibly be my longest chapter yet. Yay!

"Why not," Kiyo grumble irritably, turning around to face his blandly colored wall. "They're done raping my character anyway. 'Marie' can do what she wants now for all I care."

Utterly horrified, The remaining group that had yet to be horrifically mutilated turned abruptly towards the boy, who was now intensely examining the bumps and cracks on his wall, seeing how many of his favorite cartoon characters and celebrities his imagination could make of them.

"Do we get a say in this?!" they cried out in unison. But it was too late, Sunbeam had already begun reading.

A/N: I don't own Zatch Bell, any of the characters, any songs in this fic, Paris Hilton, or Michael Jackson (but I wish I did -drools-)

"My God," Sunbeam choked, reading that line over again in his head. "This woman is bent."

"Meru meru meh..." Ponygon nervously agreed, backing into his corner even more and clutching his small legs close to his chest.

Chapter two: OMG!! MOAR CRAAAAAZZZZZYNESSS!!

The painfully horrible bastardization of the English language and over use of exclamation points was too much for poor, troubled Megumi to take. "Oh God... Oh God!" She gasped in terror, slowly beginning to hyperventilate. Luckily, Tia saw this coming and was quickly at her side with a cold cloth and a paper bag. Megumi gratefully accepted the bag and started breathing quick, deep breaths into it, Tia patting her back comfortingly.

"Shh," the pink haired girl whispered soothingly, continuing to rub her panicking book keeper's back. "It'll be okay."

The curtains open and Marie jumps backs on. The audience goes wild, chanting "Marie! Marie!".

Marie: HEEEELLLLLOOOOO PEEEEEOOOOPLLLLLEEE!!

Audience: Woohoo we lurve you Marie. I want to have your babies!!

Sunbeam took a moment to choke on that again.

Marie: I know, who doesn't?-

"I can think of a few people," Li-En grumbled to herself.

Anyway, today our first guests are gonna be... MEGUMI AND LI-EN!!

"NOOOOOO!!" the two said girls shrieked in unison. Megumi, who had almost calmed down, started breathing faster, more painful breaths into her bag.

Right on cue, Megumi and Li-En jump out onto the stage. The audience goes wild and a bunch of creepy, zitty-faced boys jump up with "I 3 Megumi" signs and t-shirts.

Marie: It's nice to see you two. How are you?

Li-En & Megumi: We're pretty good.

Marie: So I hear you guys have a few secrets to share with us, isn't that right?

L & M: That's right, Marie.

Marie: So what are they?

Li-En: Well first we've become porn stars.

Megumi: We just love to have sex soooo much, so this was such an ideal job

"WHAT?!" the two girls shrieked again, this time more in rage than shock.

"With my talent, the hell I'd end up a porn star!" Megumi exclaimed, taking one last breath into the bag before crumpling it and tossing it over her shoulder in anger, hitting the half-awake Kanchome in the head.

The audience claps. Marie nods wisely.

Marie: Cool. And your second secret is...?

Megumi: We've also become prostitutes. Another ideal job for us slutty sex addicts.

Li-En: Tia is our pimp.

Everyone turned in the direction of the startled pink haired child, who was constantly turning to look at the shocked faces of her friends.

"I... wha... um... huh...?" she babbled, not sure what to make of this.

Marie: That's pretty hot! But oh, there's one more secret you mean to tell us, correct?

Megumi: Yep!

Li-En: We think this is the right time.

L & M: WE'RE LOVERS NOW!!

"AARRGGGH!!" screamed Li-En and Megumi, falling over in pure horror.

"For the hundredth time... I'm not a lesbian," Megumi sniffled pathetically, nearly in tears. Tia went to retrieve the paper bag, which was sitting about an inch away from Kanchome's head.

"Wonrei... is my only love," Li-En whimpered, crawling over to her mamodo and leaning her head on his lap as he rubbed her back sympathetically. Sunbeam sighed and stopped reading to turn and look at the crying, blubbering girls, almost feeling sorry for them.

"Don't worry," he sighed, rubbing his temple, hardly being able to believe such a stupid story could do that to a person. "Marie is almost done bashing you guys. Hold in there."

Megumi: We're bi if you haven't guessed yet.

Li-En: We're swingers though so we'll sleep with other people too.

Megumi: (laughing) Obviously.

The two girls whimpered.

Marie: Well that's awesome! It was really nice talking to you

L & M: You too! Bye!

Li-En and Megumi run off the stage, holding hands.

Marie: Well that's the last we'll see of those two sweet lil' lesbo lovers.-

"Thank you God!" Li-En sobbed, clutching her hands together and praying to the sky. "Thank you!"

Next up is KafkSunbeam and Ponygon!

Kafk coughed. "Crap," he cursed, briefly turning away from the computer in disgust. "I was so caught up in this that I forgot they had yet to bash me."

Sunbeam, being the brave, adult man he was, grudgingly continued on with the story anyway.

Sunbeam and Ponygon walk out. They're all dressed in hippie outfits, complete with the little peace necklace.

"Oh," Sunbeam relaxed into his seat a bit. "This isn't so bad."

"Coming from the obvious ex-hippie," Kiyo muttered. Offended, Kafk turned around to face him.

"Hey! Just because I say 'groovy' once and awhile, doesn't automatically make me a hippie."

Sunbeam: Sup man. Groovy stage, man.

"Okay," Sunbeam said, annoyed with the author's ignorance. "This is a bit of an exaggeration on the way I talk."

Marie: Thanks Sunbeam. So how have you been?

Sunbeam: Groovy man, totally groovy. Everything's been totally radical man.

Marie nods slowly.

Marie: The sixties weren't good to you, were they?

Sunbeam shook his head shamefully. "I wasn't even alive during the sixties," he sighed calmly, rubbing his poor, aching temple once again. "I'm not that old."

Sunbeam: Nope, man.

Marie: That sucks. Anyway I was hoping to ask you-

Marie was interrupted suddenly when Sunbeam suddenly handed her a bong.

Sunbeam slapped his head in pure disgust and embarrassment. Zatch slowly turned to face Kiyo.

"No Zatch," Kiyo sighed, practically reading the innocent child's curious mind. "I will NOT explain what a bong is."

Sunbeam: Wanna try some. It's totally cool man. Ponygon introduced me to this stuff.

Ponygon: (totally stoned) Meeerrruuuu merrruuuu meeeeeeeehhhh... (falls over)

Ponygon, who had been holding in his emotions for so long now, finally couldn't take it any longer. He feel to the floor, sobbing and shaking violently as he screamed into his hooves. Sunbeam, being the only one who could actually calm him down gratefully left the computer to tend to the panicking horse.

"I have to calm him down," he said, cradling the crying mamodo gently in his large arms. "Someone else can continue on where I left off if they really must."

After a good two minutes of no one volunteering, Dr. Riddles finally sighed reluctantly and slowly got up, walking over to the computer and sitting down.

"I guess this is only fair," he muttered bitterly. "I'm the only one who hasn't read yet."

Marie: Umm, no thanks. Bongs are for losers.

Audience: AMEN TO THAT SISTAH!

Sunbeam shrugs and tosses this bong aside.

"Kiyo...?"

"No Zatch, I will still not explain to you what a bong is."

Marie: Soooooo Sunbeam, besides you being a creepy hippie/drug-addict, what is your most private, darkest, secretest secret ever?

Sunbeam thinks about this for a moment. Crickets chirp in his head.

Sunbeam: Iunno. I'm too stoned to remember anything really.

Sunbeam, who had finally managed to calm the whimpering horse child down, shook his head and rolled his eyes with disgust. "Ridiculous."

Marie: Oh... well... um... I guess that's all for us, huh?

Sunbeam: Pretty much, yeah.

Marie: Um... okay... well see you later.

Sunbeam gets up, gives Marie and the audience a peace sign with his fingers, picks up Ponygon and leaves the stage. Marie, for once, is weirded out.

Marie: Oookay, that was totally useless. OKAY! Next up is Dr. Riddles and Kido.

"Doctor..." Kido wimpered, hiding behind the old man's hat.

"Don't worry, Kido," Dr. Riddles chuckled, patting the boy on the head. "It'll be okay. Besides, I have the magical power to change fanfictions at will if I don't like how the story's going."

Kido's puppet-like face suddenly brightened up. "Really Dr. Riddles? Is that true?"

The doctor couldn't help but let a small, mischievous grin crawl across his face. "Kid...ding!"

"WHA?!"

The audience claps wildly once again when the two walk onto the stage. They look pretty much normal.

The two sighed with relief. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Dr. Riddles: Hey there, sexy thang.

"Crap," The old man cursed, slapping his head in disbelief.

Marie: (totally creeped out) Um... hi...?

Kido: Sorry, he gets like this sometimes. You see, he hasn't had sex in over 40 years.-

"Why in the world does that matter?" Dr. Riddles retorted, a hint of strain in his voice. Kiyo grinned.

"Oh, so it's true than?"

"Oh shut up!"

-He's even come on to me a few times

Kido whimpered and hid even further behinds his keeper's hat. "Doctor... she's scaring me..."

Dr. Riddles was too busy choking on air to answer right away. "Must everyone be -cough cough- either gay or a pedophile in this story."

Marie: Um... how nice... so I'm guessing this was the deep, dark secret you two were going to share with us today, correct?

Kido: Pretty much, yeah.

Marie: Oookay... so anyway, Dr. Riddles-

Dr. Riddles: Oh no, don't call me Dr. Riddles. Call me Doctor LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE

Dr Riddles suddenly jumps up, rips off all his clothes leaving nothing but a small G-string man thong,-

The group, including Kido, were trying their hardest to not vomit at the mental image that was leaving in their brains.

"Oh for the love of..." Dr. Riddles sighed, hiding his face in embarrassment.

and starts dancing to "Milkshake"

Dr. Riddles: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And they're like, it's better than yours. Damn right! It's better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge...

Then suddenly Sherry and Brago jump on wearing skimpy dresses (yes, even Brago. Lol)-

Brago growled in distaste, but did not move.

and start singing and dancing backup. The audience and Marie gets up and starts singing and dancing along.

Paris Hilton: (coming out of nowhere) That's hot!

Dr. Riddles: (stops singing) Oh you think? (smirks) How about you and me have a lil' fun tonight, eh Paris baby?

Paris: Totally! I haven't had sex in like... 15 minutes

"That," Dr. Riddles said, smiling a bit. "I can believe."

The song ends and Riddles and Paris run off stage to go have sex, Kido follows behind

Riddles: Come along Kido, if you hurry up we can all have a threesome.

"Ewwww," Kido squealed, cringing in childlike disgust. "Hey... wait... what's a threesome?"

Kido: (sigh) Fine...

Kido quickens his pace and leaves, leaving just Marie, Sherry, and Brago standing there in shock.

Marie: Um... okay... Hey! Since you two are still here, how about some more dancing?

Brago & Sherry: Sure thing

What Planet You On by Bodyrox & Lucianna starts playing. The two and Marie start breakdancing.

Marie: WOOT WOOT!! Well that was pretty interesting and fun. I might end up getting sued by Makoto Raiku-

"Who?" The whole group questioned, completely oblivious to their own creator.

-BUT GOD DAMMIT I HAD FUN!!

Audience: Amen to that sistah! Amen to that!

Marie: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You guys are sooo sooo SOOO awesome!! Without you guys this show would be nothing!

Audience: Don't say that Marie, we love you!

Marie: Awww, so sweet. Tune in next episode when we talk to Zofis and Coco, Zeno and Dufort, and Leila and Albert. BUH-BYE!!

Marie blows kisses and disappears in a puff of smoke, the audience still cheering her on. The curtains close and the credits roll (even though we didn't even have credits in the first place but WHATEVER. This is the random show, remember that XD)

"Finally, it's over," Dr. Riddles breathed, glad to finally be able to avert his bleeding eyes from the screen. "If I have to suffer through something like that one more time, my head may explode. And this time I'm not kidding. Since I'm sitting here, I'LL be picking the next story."

Poor Dr. Riddles. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

In case you guys didn't know or figure it out already, Makoto Raiku is the creator of Zatch Bell (Konjiki no Gash Bell) :)