A/N: Usually I don't reply to comments straight in my author's notes, but seeing as this certain person posted anonymous , I will answer her question here. This goes to "Melissa-chan". First of all, thank you so much for your kind comment, I'm glad you're enjoying the fanfiction. Second of all, to answer yourquestion, the reason why I use the Americanized names instead of the original Japanese names is simply because a lot of people are more familiar with the dub and the translated manga (although, I have to admit, it is a lot of fun to be able to write in Folgore's horrible mock-Italian accent). I myself actually do prefer the original version over the dub, not because it's "OMFG JAPANESE KAWAIINEKODESUDESUDESU!1one", but because a lot was actually cut and edited in the dub (although I can't blame them for giving Zatch/Gash underwear in certain scenes. Those who've seen the original version know what I mean xp). However, I tried to keep as much as the original version's characters' personalities as I could (such as Folgore being more of a womanizer/pervert, which is toned down in the dub). Besides, as I'm sure many fans can agree, I sleep soundly knowing that at least it wasn't 4Kids that bought the series. ;) Thank you everybody else who has been kind enough to leave me a comment. I'm sorry I can't reply to all of you, but I truly am grateful.
WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD
Kiyo let loose a tremendous roar of power, lunging at Folgore and effortlessly throwing him to the ground.
"YOU KNEW!" he shrieked directly in Folgore's face, shaking his shoulders roughly. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"
"What'a do you mean," sobbed Folgore, desperately trying to escape Kiyo's death grip. For a fourteen-year-old kid, he was unusually strong. I mean, god, even Folgore, a completely heterosexual (although still questionable) male, couldn't help but briefly admire Kiyo's bulging muscles shortly before his fist collided with his face.
Poor, ignorant Folgore. He couldn't for the life of himself figure out why he was constantly being attacked everytime he walked through the door. I mean, this was the third time after all, you're naturally going to start to wonder. Folgore decided at that moment, while Kiyo lay upon him in a threatening albeit questionable position, that if nature called or he had any other... urges, he would simply have to hold them back or risk being murdered in a teenage boy's bedroom. Truly an unflattering death for him, Parco Folgore. What would the tabloids say?
ITALIAN SUPERSTAR PARCO FOLGORE MURDERED IN JAPANESE HOMOSEXUAL TEEN LOVER'S BEDROOM. SOURCES CLAIM HE WAS IN THE MIDSTS OF AN ORGY BETWEEN NOT ONLY VARIOUS ADULTS AND TEENAGERS, BUT THREE CHILDREN, A DUCK, A PUPPET/ROBOT THING, AND A HORSE. OUR STAR REPORTER, JOHN DIKSFERBRAIN, CLAIMS TO HAVE STUNNING VIDEO EVIDENCE OF THAT FATEFUL AFTERNOON...
How undistinguished that would be. I mean, those ridiculous gossip magazines could be so cruel sometimes, and definitely wouldn't miss an opportunity if one was to pass them by. Being an unbelievably talented, attractive, sexy, demi-god of star did have it's downs, which Folgore was more than aware of. Why, there was this one time when the-
"DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" snarled Kiyo, snapping Folgore back into reality.
"W...what?" he murmured slowly, still slightly dazed. Kiyo's face twisted into a frightening grimace, his hands slowly moving from Folgore's shoulders to his neck.
"Did you listen to a word I said?" despite having lowered his tone, his voice was just as threatening and intimidating as before, perhaps more so. Folgore gulped. He could swear Kiyo had just grown horns and fangs.
"I... I don't'a know'a what'a you're'a talkin' about," he whimpered, genuinely confused. He shrieked when Kiyo's hands began to close on his neck. "Please'a! Please'a! What'a you'a doin'? Can't'a we'a talk'a like'a dignified adults? Please'a? Oh god, Kanchome! Do'a somethin'!"
"O...okay Folgore! I-RON MAN FOLGORE! IN-VIN-SA-BLE FOLG-"
"No, no, Kanchome, you'a don't'a understand... that's'a not gonna work..."
In response to that, unusually bold little Kanchome tottered up to Kiyo and gave him a hard shove to the leg. However, this only angered the now Oni-faced Kiyo even more, forcing Kanchome to hurriedly retreat and cower in a corner for a good majority of this one-sided fight scene.
"K-Kiyo, buddy, pal, amico," Folgore stammered in a jumble of Italian and English (Japanese?), desperately trying to keep his body from trembling anymore than it already was. "Why'a... why'a you'a doin' this? We're friends, right?"
"FRIENDS?" Kiyo choked, snorting heavily out his nose in a very Dr. Dartagnan-like manner. "Friends don't let friends do... do... THIS!"
He pointed his quivering finger towards the computer, in which Folgore cocked his head back in response.
"I'm'a sorry... but what?"
Kiyo exhaled, clambering off of the flushed blonde male. As he stood, he faced the window, allowing the light to dramatically shine upon him and silhouette his body. Some would view this great symbolism, actually going out of their way to find the true meaning behind it. In all honesty, however, it was really all just a bunch of B.S. and just happened to look cool enough that I felt the need to point it out.
"You knew," he replied simply, turning and staring down at him coldly.
"That... that's'a not really an answer..."
"Oh really?" he said calmly, kneeling down and tugging Folgore up by the collar so they were face to face. "How's this?"
And with that, he literally lifted the older male off the floor, slamming his body painfully against the wall. Folgore gasped in agony, crumpling to the floor. (God, Kiyo's a violent mofo. I'm sorry...)
"Kiyo..." Folgore breathed, desperately trying to back away as much as he could as Kiyo moved in for another blow.
"Is that a good enough answer for you?" demanded Kiyo as Folgore just barely dodged his fist.
"Kiyo, for the love of god, I'a can't'a understand what'a you'a-OH GOD!" his eyes snapped up and he shifted his body once again to the side, Kiyo's fist crashing just millimeters away from his face into the wall. Kiyo roared with anger and pain as he ripped his hand from the new hole, readying himself for yet another punch.
"Please'a, Kiyo, please'a," he was crawling on his knees now, regarding Kiyo with the respect that a peasant would his king. "Please'a, let's'a talk... let's'a talk about this'a. We'a... we'a can'a figure things'a out like'a mature adul-"
"ZAKER!" Folgore was so busy cowering, he didn't even notice Kiyo briefly walk away to retrieve his spell book. That is, of course, until a wave of powerful electricity hit him with the force of a freight train, sending his charred body into the wall.
"Kiyo!" exclaimed Zatch after coming to, staring with horror at Folgore's twitching form.
"Folgore!" screamed Kanchome, finally coming out of his fetal position to run to the aid of his book keeper. "I-RON MAN FOLGORE! IN-VIN-SA-BLE FOLGORE! BRAVE AND STRO-"
"What didn't you understand about that not working, Kanchome?" grumbled Kiyo as he loomed over the child, causing him to crouch in undying fear. Kiyo finally snapped. Again. "How ignorant are you? I mean, I knew you weren't the brightest bulb in the pack, but this just takes the cake."
"Hey'a, you'a wait a minute," exclaimed Folgore, slowly beginning to hoist himself up from the ground. By the expression on his face, you could tell this was not an easy task as lifting merely an arm was taking up all his strength. However, Kiyo, by picking on his mamodo, had crossed the line, and there was no was in hell he was going to just lay there and let that happen. "You'a have'a no right to insult my bambino," he shakily placed both hands on the floor, gradually arsing. "This'a fight... this'a ridiculous fight, is between you'a and me!"
"Hmm," snorted Kiyo, turning back to Folgore. "Fine. Where were we?... Oh yeah, you knew."
"Stop saying that!" cried Folgore, leaping from the floor suddenly, a rush of adrenaline flowing through him. "Elaborate your answer! I don't understand'a what'a you'a mean when'a you'a say 'you'a knew'! EX...PLAIN!"
"Alright!" retorted Kiyo, shoving his face in Folgore's aggressively. "I'll explain. YOU KNEW how bad fanfiction could get! YOU KNEW that only about 0.000000000000000001%, if not less, was halfway decent! YOU KNEW that most fanfiction writers were insane or perverts or both! And after knowing all that, you still allowed us to continue. LOOK AT US! LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO US! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU KNEW!"
Blink blink. "W-what?" Folgore exclaimed, finally finding the courage to shove Kiyo to the side. "You'a blamin' this'a all on'a me?"
"Well if you to put it that simply, yes."
"Wha... I... you..." blubbered Folgore, his mouth gaping open. "H... how... How can you blame'a this'a on'a me? "
"Well fairly easily actually. You see, you walked in the door and I-"
"No, I mean'a why would you'a blame'a this'a on'a me?"
"Oh. I already told you," Kiyo was strangely calm suddenly.
"But... but..." Folgore was truly and utterly flabbergasted. "But... you were reading this even before I arrived."
"Oh don't worry, I'm being fair about this," replied Kiyo nonchalantly, wandering towards the window and watching what little traffic there was flow by. "I'm not blaming you for the first few fics. Just... the rest after."
"But that'a doesn't make any sense!" exclaimed Folgore, the anger and frustration rising in his voice. "And that's not fair. Yeah, there's a lot of bad ones out there. And sure, I've'a read'a some stinkers, I won't'a lie, but I've also read some beautifully written masterpieces that, if it'a wasn't for the fact that they'a were fanfiction, could'a be published in a heartbeat. Yes, I'm'a experienced with fanfiction, but that still doesn't mean I know of every single fanfiction ever written! I'm'a not'a god, you'a know, although the women do say'a that when I-NO! NOT'A NOW! GET AHOLD OF YOUSELF FOLGORE! *ahem* Anyway, and I'm definitely not psychic. I'a can't'a know'a just by the title if something's'a good'a or something's'a bad. You'a are being a spoiled child, and if it wasn't for the fact that'a you're such a great'a friend, I'a could'a sue'a the pants off of you'a in a heartbeat. For I am'a the great Parco Folgore after all! And any case I'a had would'a be'a regarded as the truth... But really, I'a am seriously in the right right now though."
Kiyo huffed. Although he didn't make particularly great argument, Folgore still had a point and he knew it. Kiyo, however, was not ready to lose. Kiyo needed someone to blame, someone other than himself. In all honesty, Folgore just happened to be an easy target. Kiyo knew deep down in his heart that this wasn't really Folgore's fault at all. It was really nobody's fault. Or maybe it was (dare he think it) his and Zatch's fault. Maybe it was all his fault for not forcing Zatch to leave the site in the first place. That didn't matter at the moment though, Kiyo was hard headed, he was strong, and there was not way in hell he was just going to back down and lose to this flamboyant flaming freak. Besides, Folgore could have warned them before hand, or maybe even stopped them from reading when the fic got too bad to handle. But nooooo, he couldn't even do that! Bastard. Total bastard. You know what? You know how Kiyo was just rethinking his actions there? Yeah, he took at all back. It was totally Folgore's fault. Folgore was definitely in the wrong, and Kiyo had the most brilliant, thought-out, unbelievable, incredible comeback in the history of comebacks to back himself up with.
"Your mom," Kiyo retaliated, crossing his arms and turning away like a disgruntled three-year-old. Folgore's mouth fell to the floor, staring upon the teen in disgusted disbelief.
"...What?" Folgore finally blurted out, unable to find words to express his emotions for a good minute. "I... I just put'a my heart and soul into a response, and that's'a how'a you'a reply?"
"Mmmhmm."
"You... you..." Folgore stammered, his arms quivering. "You'a stupid, ignorant, selfish child! You'a even know you're'a wrong, but you'a still continue fighting your case. Who do you'a think' you'a are?"
"This wouldn't have happened if you just used some of that itty, bitty common sense of yours the moment we started suffering," yelled Kiyo in reply. His face fell when he turned to the computer. "It... It hurt us..." he whimpered rather pathetically.
"Oh, you'a really think you'a got it bad?" snorted Folgore, his eyes burning with pure hatred for the boy who dared blame his own misdoings on he, Parco Folgore. "You'a don't'a know'a bad. This'a stuff is'a nothing compared to what other crap is'a out there."
"Oh yeah?" retorted Kiyo haughtily. "Prove it!"
Folgore's eyes narrowed. "Oh... you'a don't'a want'a me to do that, trust me."
An arrogant grin crawled across Kiyo's face. "Oh, but I do. Well, unless, of course, you're full of B.S... Oh that's right, I'm talking to the great and mighty Parco Folgore. Every word that comes out of your mouth is a reeking pile of B.S."
"How dare you!" snarled Folgore, his eyes literally turning to an inhuman pitch black. "You'a arrogant little shit! Fine, you'a want'a proof, I'a give'a you'a proof!" Folgore turned to cast a sympathetic look out to the rest of the group. "And'a the rest of you... I'm'a sorry you'll'a have to suffer through this'a as'a well... but it's'a the only way."
Folgore then did something the group had wanted to do for several hours. He picked up the mouse, guided it to the Fanfiction logo on the top left, clicked it, and left the Zatch Bell section of Fanfiction.
It was that simple.
Having all witnessed what Folgore had just done, the group erupted into cheers of pure joy. Well, aside from Dufort, who wordlessly stared at the computer with a neutral expression on his face. But rest assured, he too was quite relieved.
"Don't'a cheer me on yet," Folgore spoke solemnly, waving them off. "Just'a because I've left that section doesn't mean the horror is over yet."
It was true, Folgore wasn't finished yet. Instead of leaving that disgusting, god-forsaken site, he clicked on the link that announced 'Search', directing Folgore to the site's search engine. He then typed in the two fateful words that would stay with the group for years to come, and pressed search. Choosing the 'Harry Potter' category, he scrolled through the various hundreds of fanfictions that shared the same title until a certain one caught his eye.
"Ah, here we are," he whispered, a sly smile crawling across his face.
"Folgore?" a voice said, causing Folgore to turn around in surprise. Standing by him was Kanchome, shyly tugging at his shirt. "Folgore, what exactly are you planning?"
Folgore looked down upon his innocent mamodo child and tears of pure hopelessness and anguish welled up in his eyes. Kanchome was practically like a son to him, and now there he was, about to put the most important being in his life through one of the most horrific and traumatizing creations of the 21st century. Folgore had the brief urge the scoot Kanchome, as well as some of the other mamodos and humans who had yet to piss him off, out the door to save them the mental damage. However, as much as it pained him, he knew this was going to be the wake up call the group desperately needed. He didn't want to hurt anyone, truly he didn't, but... sometimes that's just the way life works.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, turning away from Kanchome as a single, but very manly tear rolled down his face. "It'a has'a to be done."
Kanchome's eyes widened as he recoiled back. "Oh god Folgore, you don't mean-"
"Yes. I'm'a sorry."
Kanchome just stood there, his mouth hanging open slightly, his eyes devoid of any emotion. "Then god help us all," he whispered dramatically, turning his head up to the ceiling as if to stare up into space.
"Yes'a, god bless us," sighed Folgore as he began to read. The pain it would put Kiyo through would make it all worth it.
My Immortal
by XXXbloodyrists666XXX
"Bloody wrists?" snorted Kiyo, flashing Folgore a quick eye roll. "Don't bother, Folgore, we already went through a crappy angst. If you're trying to teach us a lesson, at least use something original."
"Oh, this'a is so'a much'a more, my boy," snickered Folgore, his mouth twisting into a sinister grin. "So'a much'a more.
Folgore then beckoned Kiyo over, pointing to the story's summary. Kiyo, upon reading it, leaped back, his mouth dropping. The summary was so horrific, so ungodly, so unbelievably unreadable that I refuse to burn your poor, weak corneas with it.
(Well actually, the truth is that the fanfiction was removed from Fanfiction dot Net due to... well, everything about it, so I can't remember the exact summary Tara gave it. But shhh, don't tell anyone I told you that. It's our little secret. Kind of like the one where I come into your room at night and-)
AHEM! Anyway...
"No, no way," Kiyo hissed, backing slowly away from the computer. "N-no! That writing... it's almost as bad as the first fanfiction Zatch and I read!"
"The troll fanfiction?" Folgore narrowed his eyes, baring down on the boy. "Well'a, some'a prefer to believe Tara is a troll..."
Tara. It seemed like such a normal name. Non-threatening even. The room, however, would soon witness the power that this relatively normal-sounding teenage girl from Dubai unleashed upon Fanfiction so many years ago.
"...Others?" Folgore chuckled, turning his head slowly towards the whole group. "They'a think she was'a completely serious. The whole way through. If'a you'a think'a the bad spelling and emo-ness is'a all the story is'a imfamous for, well you'a best think'a again. This'a isn't just'a any fanfiction...
...This is the tale of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way"
Megumi and Tia, having recognized "Ebony" as a Sue name, screamed and clung to each other in pure horror.
"No, NOOOOOO!" they shrieked, quivering violently in each other's arms. "Spare us!"
"It's'a too'a late for that," Folgore stated flatly, his expression completely blank. "I'm'a sorry, but because of Kiyo, you'a all must'afeel the wrath of Tara Gilesbie."
And with that, he began to read.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)-
"Doctor," squeaked Kido, peering at his partner unsurely. "What is goffik?"
"I, in all honesty my dear Kido, have no idea whatsoever," he whispered hoarsely, slowly grasping the frightened child's hand.
Zeno, once again, looked honest-to-god terrified. "For god's sake Dufort, make use of your answer talker abilities and frickin' TELL ME WHAT TO EXPECT!"
The pale young man simply shook his head. "No point. My abilities have no effect on fanfiction."
"GAH! I totally won't date you at this rate!"
"...Why would you ever want to date me?"
"What? NO! I-I didn't mean it like that! I was referring to the last fanfiction... STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"
-2 my gf (ew not in that way)-
"Then don't call her your gf," exclaimed Kiyo, throwing up his hands and slapping them down roughly against his lap (Kiyo loooovvvveeed his moments of over-dramatic arm flinging). "It's so simple! If you don't want people to misinterpret what you're saying, then don't use a word that can be easily misinterpreted!"
Folgore grinned. He wasn't even past the author's note and already Kiyo was experiencing negative effects from the story. He may have not wanted to make the others suffer, but oh boy, he was going to enjoy this...
-raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.
"Hmm, for some reason I'm thinking 'Raven's' attempts were pretty much futile," snorted Sunbeam, eyeing the author's note with distaste.
"Meru meh," agreed Ponygon in a whimper, huddling close to his partner. Poor little thing.
U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2!
For reasons unknown to even me, the moment that line was read an image of a fat, unattractive gothic girl slumped over at the computer with a scrawny, sickly boy tied to her chair popped into Kiyo's mind. Due to that, he began to snicker uncontrollably, despite the current circumstances. Usually, a relatively sane person would look in the direction of the laughing person and flash them a confused or disapproving glance. However, seeing as mostly everyone in that room was half-mad by that point, it was just viewed as yet another normal occurrence and nobody took any notice or concern.
MCR ROX!
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way-
Tia and Megumi once again screamed bloody murder at the mention of her name. The other females of the group cast them a concerned and unsure look.
"Good god... I've never been more frightened and disgusted in my life," Sherry said under her breath. They weren't even past the name yet and she already hated this girl.
-and I have long ebony black hair-
"Thank you, Madame Redundant," muttered Kiyo bitterly. "Just saying ebony would have been enough."
-(that's how I got my name)-
"No. Way."
-with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears-
"WHO CARES?" the group exclaimed in unison. I guess they just weren't into deep, useless description and use of similes like Tara was. Those prepz.
-and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).
"Oh, that's nice," murmured a still-disgruntled Kiyo. "Hardly one paragraph in, if you can even call that horrible run-on sentence a real paragraph, and we're already treated to the author's useless babbling."
(A/N: Aren't those just unbelievably annoying? There you are, trying to read a fanfiction and then the author pops up suddenly and is all like "LULZ U GOTTA HEER WUT I GUTZ TO SAY LOLOLOLOL!1111oneoneelevenone1". I mean, it's so inconsiderate! Who cares what your opinions are, we want to read the story! God... Selfish bastards. Somebody, no, EVERYBODY, needs to just go over to these peoples' houses and just beat them. With yaoi paddles. Yep, that joke hasn't gotten old to me yet, heheh... Anyway... uh... yeah! Seriously you guys, you should just do that sometime. Just do it. Well, I mean, to those who deserve it, of course... heheh... You knew what I meant though, right? Yeah, yeah, of course you did... yeah... *cough*... So, yeah, anyway, you'll be like my hero if you go do that... right now even... *cough*... So, ANYWAY, as I was saying, those selfish bastards think they can just interrupt your reading material and-Oh, sorry, excuse me a sec, someone's at the door. BRB u guise! :D... Dumdeedumdumdum, I'm coming!... O HAI THERE! Say, what is that you're hiding behind your back? It looks awfully like a yao-OH GOD!)
I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.
"So... you're telling me that you wish he was, like, your brother... because you're sexually attracted to him?" said Kiyo, the upper lip of his slightly open mouth curving upward into another grimace, this one due to pure disgust.
I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch,-
"MARY SUE! MARY SUE! GO AWAY!" Megumi and Tia were now sobbing uncontrollably. It was too much, in only a few short sentences she was already a thousand times worse than Beautifulica.
"Are you kidding me?" Li-en choked. "A vampire? I don't even like Harry Potter and even I know that that's pushing it in that universe."
-and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.
Doctor Riddles snorted. "Please, real goths don't usually shop at Hot Topic. I hate to be crude, but in all honesty that's just a place for teens who get wet over Tim Burton movies. REAL goths have no interest in an over-hyped teenie-bopper place like that. And while we're still on the topic of goth culture, My Chemical Romance and Evanescence are in no way considered true gothic bands. Groups such as Sisters of Mercy and Alien Sex Fiend are closer to what true goths would be listening to. I mean, it's so clearly obvious th..."
He trailed off, finally noticing the dumb-struck faces of the group staring directly at him.
"I... well... uh... I... I went through some very awkward stages in the past few years... a lot of things going on in my life... I had a very good reason, if you know my past... It was a way of escaping... Kind of grew a taste for it I suppose... DON'T JUDGE ME!"
For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.
"NOBODY. CARES. SHUT UP!"
It would seem as though the group also did not enjoy this shining example of costume porn. Fukking pozers.
I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining-
"...WHAT?"
-so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
"Ooooh, so badass," muttered Wonrei sarcastically. "What will she do next? J-walk?"
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was….-
"...THE PLOT!" shouted Sunbeam dramatically, earning a few giggles.
-Draco Malfoy!
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly.
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.
"Oh god, are you kidding me?" moaned Kiyo, dropping his head. "This girl spent more time describing the way she looked than she did actually telling the story. And is the XXX thing really necessary? A simple line would have done the trick just fine."
"Get'a used to it," snorted Folgore, eyeing Kiyo with sick pleasure. "That's'a basically My Immortal for you."
AN: IS it good?
"HELL NO!"
PLZ tell me fangz!
Note: Due to the length, and the fact that I don't want to scar you all too badly, My Immortal will be severely cut up in this chapter, as well as the next. However, I'll try to keep the most memorable bits in for your viewing (dis)pleasure.
Chapter 2
...I woke up in my bedroom.
"HOLY CRAP NO WAY! UNBELIEVABLE!"
...drank some blood from a bottle I had.
Despite the reaction of disgust from most of the group, Kido stared at the computer with wide-eyed amazement.
"Wow Doctor, I didn't know people could drink blood."
Doctor Riddles laughed, rubbing Kido's head affectionately.
"Of course my dear Kido! Everybody even has their own flavor. Some people are grape flavored, others are orange, why, I taste like mixed berries myself."
Kido gasped in astonishment, while the rest of the group groaned in utter disbelief.
"Really, Doctor? Really?"
I think by this point you understand how it goes.
My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram-
"WE DON'T CARE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WE DON'T CARE!"
...Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)...
"Oh god," Wonrei moaned in agony. "There's another one?"
"Find a happy place... find a happy place..." Tia and Megumi muttered over and over as the rocked on the floor.
"You know... I'm not usually like this -unless it involves Kiyo, of course-, but I hate this Ebony girl with a passion!" stated Suzy, a surprised but determined look plastered on her face as she clenched her fists.
...She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and-
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-"
..."Do you like Draco?"...
..."No I so fucking don't!"...
"Uh-uh girl, you so fucking do!" exclaimed Kanchome, closing his eyes and snapping his fingers. "Umm-hmm, snap snap snap!"
I think by this point you understand that whenever a character says something strange or inappropriate, they get a surprised look. So typing out: 'The group suddenly turned in his direction and-' would be pretty much pointless and redundant.
"Kanchome," said Folgore shakily, pausing from reading to confront his mamodo. "I'a know I'm'a not'a the best male influence when it comes to manliness... but please'a... please'a never talk'a like that again..."
...Draco walked up to me.
..."Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade."...
..."Oh. My. Fucking. God!"...
"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.
I gasped.
Chapter 3
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ...
...I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the-
"Oh dear god!" Sherry moaned as the group, once again, began to protest the unneeded description. "Please Folgore, I understand this is your way of getting back at Kiyo, he does deserve it, but at least think about the rest of us. If you must continue reading this, could you at least consider skipping these ridiculous descriptions?"
Folgore hummed to himself, considering this. Skipping those parts would limit the negative affect it would have on Kiyo, but on the other hand the rest of the group did nothing wrong to him and didn't really deserve all of the torture.
"Very well," he decided, nodding reluctuntly. "but'a keep'a in mind," he turned suddenly to glare at Kiyo, who let out a small 'eep'. "I'm'a not doin' this'a for you."
...I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.
The girls erupted into cheers of ecstasy, clapping gleefully as if they were young school girls.
"She's done it! She's killed herself! WHOO-HOOO! DING DONG THE SUE IS DEAD! HAHA! SHE'S DEEEAAAD!"
I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding-
"GOD DAMMIT!"
-and I listened to some GC.
...I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.
"Flying car?" Wonrei looked rather confused. "Well, I know the Weasley boys enchanted one in the second book, but I don't remember anybody ever actually owning one in the wizard world."
The group looked at him surprise.
"You've actually read those books?" said Kiyo.
Wonrei shrugged. "It gets boring when we're not battling, I need something to pass the time,"
"Please, you never shut up about them," muttered Li-en, looking away from him. She was ignored.
"They're pretty good books, I liked them better than that chick novel about the sparkling vampires. This fanfiction oddly reminds me more of that than it does of Harry Potter for some reason..."
...On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.
..."Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.
Suddenly Draco looked sad.
..."Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.
"Really?"...
..."Really."
...The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!
Chapter 4
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY-
As horrible as the story was in every single way, that had to have been the most hilarious line they had heard so far. There wasn't a dry eye in the room (from laughing, of course) after that line was read.
..."DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.
"That has to be the worst case of PMS if I've ever seen one," muttered Brago as he rolled his eyes. "I'd hate to see her reaction if the poor guy was to ever make an accidental wrong turn while driving with her one day."
Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness-
"Uhhh," Sunbeam was truly at a loss for words there for a good moment. "... how is that even poss... how is that even an appealing trai... what the hell kind of contacts is he wea-Screw it, just continue the reading. Not groovy... just... no..."
-and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore
And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra.
By this point, the partners of the younger mamodos were attempting to place their hands over the childrens' ears. It wasn't working. Besides, after all they had already been exposed to, it was pretty much pointless.
..."Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an org...-
"Kiyo?..."
"NO ZATCH, GOD NO! A THOUSAND TIMES NO! I AM NOT EXPLAINING THAT TO YOU!"
We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
"Oh... oh thank you sweet angel of mercy," Kiyo quietly prayed to the sky, grateful to be free of that awkward and unrealistic sex scene.
It was….Dumbledore!
Folgore breathed in deeply, stopping and turning to see how the group was doing. As I'm sure you can imagine, it wasn't pretty. Tia and Megumi were still in the midst of their mental breakdown, and the remaining females who still held on to a small bit of their sanity seemed to be hatching a plan to 'assasinate' Tara. Zatch Bell seemed unsure how to feel about it, while his brother stared in wide-eyed horror, not being able to take in that somebody could create something more heinous than he. The men of the group muttered among themselves angrily, unable to find anything remotely attractive about this so-called 'sexy' character. And finally, we come to Kiyo. He sat close by Folgore's feet, very still. His eyes and his mouth were wide open, his face full of horror... disgust... every negative emotion you could possibly think of was right there on his face.
"Was she serious?... Was she serious?..." he repeated over and over, looking Folgore straight in the eyes. "This... this can't be real... can't be serious... must be a joke... please say it's a joke... so many spelling errors... so much clothes and makeup... makeup... lots of makeup... goffik... what's goffik?... No... can't be real..." Kiyo inhaled, clearly trying to get ahold of himself. "Are you... are you really going to read all of this?"
Folgore grinned. That was exactly what he was hoping to hear.
"Yep, all forty-four chapters of it."
"OH GOD!"
I had a feeling this chapter would be long, but I honestly didn't think it would be THIS long. That's what I get for agreeing to My Immortal I suppose. Of course, Folgore and Kiyo's epic fight was longer than... I was... expecting... *ahem* Yeah... sorry about that. Well, the next chapter will be going through most of MI, heavily edited to fit it in of course, so get your brain bleach ready because the gangs' wild romp through literally the worst fanfiction ever has only just begun.
Oh, and my apologies to anyone who might have been offended by that little Twilight joke thrown in there. Although I'm not a big fan of the series, I certainly don't hate it, it just happens to be an easy target. :P