Chapter 6

A few weeks later, Sasuke was sleeping. And dreaming. He was dreaming of a certain someone that had appeared in his dreams a lot more often lately. He was dreaming of Neji and him being a couple. Being together. And it didn't take long before he woke up from the dream as in his dream, he and Neji said and did things to each other, that both scared him as made him feel really good. He woke up, staring at the ceiling. Once again one of his dreams made him confused. He had been getting closer with Neji everyday ever since their movie night. But Sasuke wasn't sure what it meant to him. Neji was really great and hot and sometimes he even began to become nice. And Sasuke could admit that he liked Neji. The only thing was, how much...? Sasuke wasn't sure he wanted to answer that question just yet. He then frowned as he heard some moaning coming from another one's room. And it couldn't be Kiba, he had a sleepover somewhere and God knew Naruto never brought anyone over to do anything. So that left... Neji. Sasuke frowned some more as he got out of bed and left his room. When he was in front of Neji's, he was sure Neji was not just having a bad dream. He could hear someone else moan as well. Sasuke felt his blood boil and his heart sting, but he suppressed it. He did, however, open Neji's door angrily and made sure Neji and this intruder heard it open.

Neji, who was laying beneath a massive guy who was mercilessly pounding into him, just let out a hard moan when he heard the door open. He frowned as he saw who was standing in the doorway, while his sex partner snarled at Sasuke to 'fuck off'. He didn't know why he felt his stomach twist as he saw the look on Sasuke's face.

"..H-Hidan, stop it." He then suddenly snapped to the guy holding his arms. Shit.. this was not supposed to happen.

"Is this what you're doing at nights?" Sasuke snapped to Neji. "I can't believe this." He shouldn't be angry with Neji, but he was jealous. Neji shouldn't be having sex with anyone but him. And especially not with an ugly guy that towered over anyone else and was burying Neji under him.

"..It's not y-your business and.. d-damn Hidan, stop it now." Neji snapped to the guy on top of him, trying to push him away.

"Just fuck off shrimp." The guy, Hidan, snapped to Sasuke, giving him a threatening glare.

"Shut the fuck up and get out of my house." Sasuke snapped to the guy. He didn't like this at all. "And you, Neji, are disgusting." Sasuke glared at Neji furiously.

Neji frowned, and then let out a surprised and pained yelp as Hidan thrusted into him painfully and came into him. Just when Neji realised what had happened, Hidan got up, not seeming tired at all, and within a second he had grabbed Sasuke at the collar, pushing him up against the wall.

"If you want him for your own little fucktard, you have to try harder." He snapped.

Sasuke grabbed the hands that were tightening at his collar and glared at the guy.

"Fuck off, he didn't even come from you." Sasuke snapped.

"Because 'you' interrupted, idiot." Hidan snarled, pushing Sasuke up against the wall some harder.

"Fuck off idiot. You know where the door is, so go away. And don't expect a call." Sasuke snapped, trying to get loose.

"You could go away yourself too, fucker." Hidan snapped. "How dare you interrupt?" At that moment, Neji walked towards them, and pulled onto Hidan's arm.

"Hidan, quit it." He snapped to him. Hidan glared at Neji. In a second he had let go of Sasuke and before both Sasuke as Neji realised it, he hit Neji with full force across the cheek, making the other crash onto the ground.

"You keep the fuck out of this, Hyuuga!" He yelled, becoming red from anger.

Sasuke looked at Hidan astonished now and then just furious. He hit Hidan right in the face.

"How dare you hit him like that!" Sasuke yelled at Hidan.

Neji frowned deeply for once. Not only was he surprised from the hit, but even more from Sasuke standing up for him. At that moment, Hidan hit Sasuke in the face too.

"I do whatever I want, idiot!" He snarled.

Sasuke grabbed to his face, but then just hit Hidan back again. He would not stand for this. That Hidan had grabbed and hit him was already enough to make Sasuke angry, but hitting Neji was just a step too far.

Hidan growled and pushed Sasuke up to the wall, smashing his head into there.

"Hidan, stop this!" Neji yelled, pulling Hidan away. Hidan just reacted by hitting him again and then dragged Neji over to his closet. Within a second, he pushed Neji inside, slammed the door closed and locked it. He tucked the key into his pocket while Neji started yelling at him to let him out. Hidan just smirked, and directed it to Sasuke.

"Now it's just you and me, punk." He snapped.

"I think you should leave." Sasuke snapped back. "You're drunk and an asshole. Give me that key." He glared at Hidan, not feeling intimidated.

"Perhaps I will, after I broke your arm." Hidan said, smirking, as he slowly walked towards Sasuke.

"Just my arm? Not really intimidating." Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes. He obviously thought he could still take Hidan on even for just a little while.

Hidan smirked. Suddenly he was right in front of Sasuke and grabbed his arm, twisting it onto his back while turning him around.

"You think so?" He asked.

Sasuke let out a load groan, trying to turn his arm back around. But Hidan had a way too firm of a grip on him.

"L-let go." Sasuke snapped. He knew he was in real trouble now though.

"Hidan get out!" Neji yelled from the closet. Hidan smirked.

"Ready fucker?" He asked, putting more pressure on the arm.

Sasuke was trying not to let out a whimper, but he failed.

"L-let go of my arm." Sasuke snapped. He tried to kick Hidan's legs by kicking back now.

Hidan smirked even broader and within a second he twisted the arm back even more and a horrible cracking sound was being heard.

"There, next time don't interrupt when I'm fucking his brains out." He snapped, giving Sasuke a shove.

Sasuke let out an excruciating scream of pain as he felt his arm break and he dropped to the floor, not being able to catch himself. He closed his eyes against the pain and tried to hold his now broken arm. It only hurt more.

"Sucker." Hidan said, laughing, as he got the key out of his pocket and tossed it under the closet Neji was locked away in. "See you later, jerk." With that he dressed and left the room, and also the house.

Sasuke was just whimpering on the ground, before he was able to pull himself up and look at his arm. It was twisted all around and was hanging limp next to his body. Sasuke kept groaning and moaning from the pain.

"Shit, Sasuke, what happened?" Neji asked from inside the closet. What had happened?

Sasuke just groaned as an answer and then made his way to the closet, trying to get the key from under it. He was breathing heavily, trying to ignore the pain as he was feeling for the key underneath.

"Sasuke do I have to call an ambulance?" Neji asked, sounding worried.

Sasuke didn't respond as he finally found the key. He had trouble putting in the lock, but finally managed to open the door and then grabbed to his arm, once again groaning. Who would have thought breaking something was 'this' painful.

Neji frowned as he immediately left the closet and looked at Sasuke.

"God... don't tell me he broke it." He said, worried.

"C-call someone dammit!" Sasuke yelled at Neji now. He needed someone to take care of this pain. It was unbearable.

Neji immediately grabbed his phone, but then he put it away again.

"Screw that, I'll bring you to the hospital." He said.

"W-with what, your bike?" Sasuke snapped as he glared at Neji with a pained face.

"Yes, the hospital is close." Neji said.

"F-fine, then hurry up." Sasuke snapped and got up, walking out of Neji's room.

Neji quickly pulled on some clothes and grabbed his keys, before hurrying outside. He felt immensely guilty for inviting Hidan over, so he made sure Sasuke sat down safely onto his bike and he drove as hard as he could to the hospital.

About an hour later, Sasuke was walking into the waiting room with his arm in cast and a sling. His arm had been painfully pushed back in place and now all he had to do was wait for it to heal. Awesome. It was still midnight as well and he was in nothing more than his pyjama pants, shoes and jacket that was hanging over his right arm. He spotted Neji in the room and sat down next to him, not saying a word.

"Hey." Neji said, casting Sasuke a worried look, but a hint of guilt laid in his eyes as well. "..Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Let's go home." Sasuke said. He didn't look at Neji, since he was angry. Now that his arm was in cast, he would not be able to do half of what he was used to. And he was gonna ruin a lot of things because of it, he was sure.

"..I'm sorry Sasuke, I should have never invited him." Neji said, as he stood.

Sasuke got up as well. "Just get me home Neji." He said. "You have the right to sleep with whomever you want." He said bitter and started walking towards the exit.

Neji sighed as he followed Sasuke. "I should have known that types like him were dangerous." He said.

"If I hadn't interrupted nothing would have happened." Sasuke said.

"Perhaps not to you, but probably something would have happened to me." Neji said, as he shook his head. "Pleasing me didn't come up in his head."

"Well you sounded very pleased before I came in." Sasuke said, walking out of the hospital now.

"It was a coincidence that he found my prostate." Neji said, shrugging. "You saw that it became painful. I'm still sorry you had to see that and that he did this to you."

"Sure. Now let's just get home already." Sasuke said. "I'm freezing."

Neji nodded as he walked towards his bike and opened it again. "Well I'm glad he only broke your arm and didn't do more." Neji muttered. "He could have easily done more."

"Oh yeah thanks. That makes me feel better." Sasuke said as he followed Neji. "Next time you invite someone though, make sure he isn't a criminal."

"I had no idea he would do something like this." Neji said. "If I would, then I wouldn't have invited him."

"Well, next time make sure the guy you want to get fucked by isn't a criminal. I don't want those in my house." Sasuke said.

Neji didn't reply as he stepped onto his bike, making Sasuke sit down too. He then started biking. He felt really guilty. And for some reason he thought it was worse he had had sex with the guy, then that the guy had hurt Sasuke... Why on earth did he feel like that?

Sasuke and Neji were both silent as they went back home. Once there, Sasuke felt a lot less angry then at the hospital. He got off the bike and looked at Neji. "So.. I'm sorry I walked in without knocking again. I guess I learned my lesson." He said.

"..You know I never meant it like that Sasuke." Neji said with a sigh, as he put his bike away and locked it.

"You told me enough times to not just walk in, now I won't anymore. At least you gained something out of this." Sasuke said and walked into the house.

Neji followed Sasuke. "Right, but.. well, let it be." He said. "Just know that I'm feeling guilty for this."

"I know." Sasuke said. "What I don't understand is 'why' you brought this guy in. But that's none of my business right."

"I just felt like having sex." Neji said, shrugging. It was obvious that he was lying though.

"I didn't even know you went out. What did you do, just call someone?" Sasuke asked. "..You know you could have woken me up if you wanted sex." He muttered as he walked into the living room.

"...I guess I wanted some variation or something.." Neji muttered, as he shrugged. He followed Sasuke and then sat down onto the couch.

Sasuke sat down on a chair, not wanting to sit next to Neji now. "Well you're gonna get enough of that, because I don't want to have sex with you anymore." He said.

Neji looked at Sasuke now, frowning a little. "Why not?" He asked.

"Why not? Well because I just don't wanna have sex with you anymore. You should know why if you had experienced the past few weeks the same as I did. But obviously, you didn't, so let it be." Sasuke muttered.

"...Does it make sense that I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't experience it the way you did as well?" Neji quietly asked.

"That depends on how you experienced it I guess." Sasuke said bitter.

Neji bit his lip as he looked away. "I guess." He then said, quickly composing himself.

"So you're not gonna tell me? How nice of you. Let's forget the past weeks then." Sasuke said annoyed. He thought Neji was finally gonna say something he might like. But no, the little fucker had to just be.. well a little fucker.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Neji snapped.

"Maybe how you experienced the past few weeks with me! Because in case you were too stupid to realise it, 'I' thought we were going somewhere besides being fuckbuddies or friends!" Sasuke suddenly yelled.

Neji glared at Sasuke and then looked away. "Don't say things like that." He snapped.

"God Neji!" Sasuke yelled and got up, storming to his own room. Neji was really frustrating. He should have never thought there was more. He had told himself so many times that Neji was just an asshole, but no he 'had' to go and feel more for him.

Neji glared at his shoes for some time, before he stormed after Sasuke and tossed his door open. "Why do you think I had sex with Hidan, idiot?" Neji then yelled at him, looking distressed. "I wanted to prove to myself that I do 'not' have feelings for you! I don't do relationships, ok! Do you have 'any' idea how frustrating it is to have feelings for someone while you swore to yourself to never 'ever' do that again?"

Sasuke looked at Neji with a frown on his face. "Well tough luck Neji! Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to like someone who acts like a complete and total moron, and when you think he's beginning to warm up to you, he goes and have sex with a random stranger! Who breaks your arm! 'That's' frustrating!" Sasuke yelled back.

"Then you should have gone for it, idiot!" Neji yelled at Sasuke. "I gave you so damn many hints, but of course you didn't notice, it's like you're living in your own damn world!"

"Oh yeah, now it's my fault! Your hints Neji, aren't quite that obvious!" Sasuke yelled. "And I'm not the only one who could have made a move!"

"I just told you why I didn't do it." Neji snapped to Sasuke. "Whatever, I don't care." While his inner voice screamed at him to stay in the room, he walked away, feeling like an icy hand was squeezing his heart. It hurt damn much, but he couldn't make a fool of himself. Not while he had protected himself for so long.

"See! That is exactly why I never made a move! You 'always' walk away!" Sasuke yelled, following Neji. "If you didn't want to start anything with me, then don't drop hints, don't have sex with me and 'keep on walking'!"

"Shut up, as if you always stay in the room during a disagreement." Neji snapped, feeling his throat swell up. He almost ran towards his room and slammed the door closed behind him.

Sasuke wasn't done though. He just followed Neji, slammed the door open and glared at him. "Your last chance Neji. If you want more of me then just being roommates, then say it now." Sasuke snapped.

"What exactly is it that you want?" Neji asked, not looking at Sasuke, as he felt panic rising up inside of him.

"As if it isn't clear that I want to move on from fuckbuddies to something more." Sasuke snapped. He was putting himself on the line here. Because if Neji said no now, he was gonna have to move out and feel miserable on his own.

Neji swallowed a little. "...I want more too, but it scares me, I guess." He then muttered.

"Well don't you think it scares me? Heck, the last time I was more than a friend to someone, was when I was seven. And we were still just friends because seven year olds don't have relationships." Sasuke said.

Neji looked at Sasuke now.

"I don't want to bind myself to someone if there is a risk it will be over soon." He then said.

"So you don't want to do it?" Sasuke asked. All he needed now was a simply yes or no.

"No! Yes, I just.. damn it." Neji cursed, as he put a hand in his hair and frowned. He had no idea what to do now. He always had a solution for everything, but this...

"I just need a yes or no Neji." Sasuke said, looking at Neji. He could feel it coming. A major rejection. Why did he tell Neji he liked him again?

Neji was silent for some time, before he stood and within a second he had pulled Sasuke close, slammed his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Something inside of him was telling him to go for it. To try this with Sasuke. Perhaps it was stupid, but he wanted it too badly to let it go by.

Sasuke put his unbroken arm around Neji's waist and kissed him back within a second. He hadn't expected this, but it was just as good as a yes. Sasuke couldn't complain.

Neji felt like a total pansy when tears came to his eyes, making it even worse, but it was all drama in his head. Just the fact that he had to stop hiding himself now was both frightening as enlightening. He loved it and hated it.

As Sasuke felt one of Neji's tears on his cheek, he pulled back from the kiss and looked at Neji frowning.

"..Was that kiss not supposed to be a yes?" He asked.

"It i-is, don't worry." Neji said as he nodded, quickly wiping away his tears.

"Then why are you crying?" Sasuke asked, wiping a tear from Neji's face.

"..I'm just scared.. I don't know." Neji said as he shook his head.

"I'm scared too. But I'm happy you wanna try anyway." Sasuke said.

Neji nodded.

"Me too." He said. He then shook his head, hating himself for crying. "Damn.. I'm sorry, normally I'm not this emotional."

Sasuke laughed a little.

"Well I know that, you don't have to tell me." He joked.

Neji smiled a little, and then sighed, as he sat down onto his bed.

"...I once had a relationship I was totally into, and I caught him cheating on me." He suddenly said.

Sasuke looked at Neji now and then sighed. He sat down next to Neji.

"Well I would never do that." He said. "It must have been awful."

"It was." Neji said, nodding. "He told everything that was a little weird about me to everyone who would hear it. I decided to close myself to the world and never let someone in again."

"I see... But I'm not him. So don't worry." Sasuke said, putting a hand on Neji's knee.

"I know." Neji said, nodding. "People just can be different then you think, I learned that the hard way."

"Everyone learns it the hard way. Some just a little harder than others." Sasuke said. "I can't promise you we'll work out, but I can at least promise you I'll do anything not to hurt you."

Neji smiled a little.

"I never expected you to be able to be sweet too." He then said, chuckling a little.

"Shut up." Sasuke said and grinned at Neji. "I never expected you to be a cry-baby either, but you don't hear me saying anything about that."

Neji gave Sasuke a hit now, smirking.

"Shut up, this is the first and last time you will see me cry." He then said.

"If you say so." Sasuke said teasing. "And you're lucky that wasn't my right arm. Which reminds me, as of now you are gonna have to help me with a lot of stuff."

"Kiba and Naruto can help you too." Neji said, giving Sasuke a cocky look.

"Yeah but you owe me now." Sasuke said smirking.

Neji snorted.

"Perhaps." He then said. "It does suck that we won't really be able to have normal sex now."

"Can't you think of anything beside sex?" Sasuke asked laughing. "I am perfectly able to have sex with you like this as well, don't worry."

"Sorry, me closing myself from the world made me unable to express myself, except for having sex." Neji said, grinning a little, this time allowing a blush on his cheeks.

"We could just make out as well. And talk and do other stuff together." Sasuke said. "We'll just have to teach each other, because I've never been in a relationship."

"I guess." Neji said, nodding, he then sighed. "Perhaps it's best to go to bed now, it's four already."

"I know. Can we sleep in my room? It smells like sex here." Sasuke said.

Neji nodded.

"Yeah, that's fine." He said. "I'm going to put on my pyjamas then." He stood and then walked to his closet.

"Hurry it up. Now that you mentioned sleeping, I'm tired." Sasuke said.

"You can go to bed already, I'll come in a minute." Neji said, as he changed.

Sasuke nodded and then got up. He walked to the door, but then changed his mind and walked to Neji, giving him a kiss. Then he left the room to his own one. He knew he was gonna be asleep when Neji would come anyway. Might as well give Neji a goodnight kiss before that.

Deidara walked into a club near his new place. His friends had asked him to go out and he had agreed after four weeks of refusing to go anywhere. He still missed Itachi and they hadn't spoken ever since he had broken up with his ex-boyfriend. And Deidara still wasn't sure if he made the right choice. But tonight was just gonna be fun. Dancing, drinking, talking. It would just be a fun night out. But Deidara had barely walked into the club as he saw Kisame, a long time friend of Itachi's, walking through the building. And Deidara couldn't help but follow him in the hope to get a glimpse of Itachi. Not that Itachi went out a lot. Deidara followed Kisame, trying to blend into the crowd as he saw the guy sitting down somewhere. Deidara pushed his way to the bar nearby and then looked around. Deidara looked right at the person he both wanted to see and wanted to avoid.

Itachi was sitting at a table, his hands folded on his lap. He didn't even react when Kisame sat down next to him, as if he didn't notice that his friend joined him again. In front of him stood many empty glasses, two of them were still filled with alcoholic drinks. The look in his eyes was empty, he was paler then normal and his normally neatly tied back hair was now hanging over his shoulders. It was obvious that no energy had been put into choosing his outfit, since he was wearing clothes that didn't match at all. When Kisame grabbed his chin and direct his head towards the blue haired man, he didn't fight it, he only focused his blood shot eyes to the other. His eyes slipped away from his friend when Kisame brought him closer and kissed him on the lips. It was obvious, something was wrong with Itachi.

Deidara looked at the sight behind him for a while longer before just resting his eyes on Itachi. He didn't look good at all. And a wave of concern and worry shot through Deidara when he saw Itachi pouring one of the drinks down in one gulp. Deidara got up now and walked to the spot Itachi was sitting at. He pulled him from his seat, without saying a word and ignoring Kisame's insults and attempts to get Itachi back at the table. Deidara just pulled Itachi outside and then turned him to face him. He looked at Itachi with a worried look on his face.
Itachi moved his head up and it immediately felt back against the wall he was leaning against now. He looked at Deidara, but his eyes didn't seem to focus. He then put a hand in his hair.

"...What are you doing here?" He slurred, his voice cracking.

"I went out with me friends un." Deidara said. "What are you doing Itachi?"

Itachi just looked at Deidara while not being able to hold his head up straight. He was obviously very drunk. He looked away after a few seconds, and then pulled himself off of the wall. He started walking back to the club.

Deidara looked at Itachi and pulled him back.

"You're worrying me un." Deidara said.

"No need to." Itachi said, as he shook his head.

"Itachi you look horrible un. You're drunk and.. and you let Kisame kiss you." Deidara said. "I don't know what you're thinking but you have to stop hurting yourself."

"I'm not hurting myself." Itachi said. "I don't want to talk to you now." He once more tried to walk away from Deidara.

Deidara pulled Itachi back again and then pulled him to his car.

"I'm going to take you home, you're going to sleep your drunken head off and then we're going to talk un." He said stern.

Itachi didn't do anything as Deidara pulled him to his car, and let himself be pushed inside. He had no clue what was really happening right now.

Deidara got in on the other side of the car, fastened both his own as Itachi's seatbelt and then started driving to Itachi's place. He wasn't sure how happy he would be if he went back to his former house, but he had to take care of Itachi.

The next morning, Itachi woke up with a major headache, like he did every morning. He noticed he was laying in his bed, something that rarely happened these days. Mostly, he was laying in someone else's bed, on the street or on his couch. This meant someone had put him in. He sat up, groaning a little, not noticing that Deidara was in the room as well, sitting on a chair, close to Itachi.

Deidara immediately got up as he saw Itachi's eyes were open.

"Itachi un?" He asked. "Are you awake?"

Itachi moved his head a little as he heard someone talking to him, and then saw Deidara sitting there.

"...What are you doing here." He then said.

"I brought you here yesterday. When you were drunk out of your mind un." Deidara said.

Itachi didn't reply. He guessed he had been going out again and met up with some of his friends to go out drinking, just like he had been doing every night last month. His friend Kisame had been more than happy when he noticed Itachi was finally willing to join him in drinking, so he had introduced him to some clubs. It had been a great way for Itachi to distract himself from the emotions he felt when he thought of Deidara. He had put all of his emotions aside by now.

"I said yesterday that once you woke up we would talk. So talk un." Deidara said.

"Why would I?" Itachi asked. "We are over Deidara. I screwed up and you don't want me anymore, end of story." He stepped out of his bed now, noticing that he was only wearing his boxers. He didn't take the time to wonder why Deidara had bothered to put him in his bed and undress him in the first place.

"That's not true. It's not end of story un." Deidara said. "I said I would call when I felt like I was ready and I'm sorry, it took a while. But we need to talk about it."

"I think we talked enough about it already." Itachi said as he put on his bathrobe and walked to the kitchen.

"We didn't talk about it at all. I said we were over and left. That was all there was to it. At that moment at least un." Deidara said, following Itachi.

"You made it pretty obvious you don't want me in your life anymore." Itachi said as he grabbed some bread and then opened a cupboard, taking some peanut butter out.

Deidara looked at what was inside the cabinet and bit his lip. In it were tons of pills. Deidara could vaguely make out sleeping pills and pills that calmed people down. Itachi never took a pill when they were together. Not even against headaches or stomach aches.

"I never said that, Itachi please don't be so cold un." Deidara said.

Itachi closed the cupboard now.

"You could have told me it hurt you so much that I'm worried too much about my brother, you never told me anything more than that it annoyed you." He then said, as he was putting peanut butter on his bread. It was obvious that he was very, very hurt by everything that had happened.

"I told you a million times that it bothered me a lot. The last times I yelled at you so much for it I thought I was gonna have to hit into your head that I wasn't happy with the way things were un." Deidara said. He was glad Itachi was talking though.

"You yell about a lot and you are bothered by a lot, and fast too." Itachi said. "I thought it was one of your drama things again. You know I'm not good at reading signs, you know me better than everyone else. But still you didn't tell me straight ahead that it didn't only bother you, but it actually hurt you. You were my life Deidara, I'd rather have died then hurt you." The last thing he spat out, as he almost tossed the peanut butter back into the cupboard.

Deidara looked at Itachi for a while, before speaking.

"Well you love your brother. I would be a stupid boyfriend if I told you I didn't want you to go to him when he needed you un. If you knew me enough then you would have figured out that my yelling is not always just 'drama'." He said and bit his lip again.

"You always make things bigger than they are, in a way that I can't tell real drama apart from something that's not as much drama as you make it seem." Itachi snapped. He had never been this angry with Deidara. He was not angry because of the fact that Deidara hadn't wanted him to go to Sasuke, but he was angry with Deidara for breaking his heart like that. "Just like you know I can be angry or sad, while not showing any expression. It could be everything."

"I told you so many times that I wanted you home. That I didn't want to get interrupted while spending time with you, that you needed to turn off your phone, that I needed you to spend time with me and me only and you never did that. And I wanted to believe that it was just because we weren't together for long enough so I never said anything un. But we were together for years and nothing changed." Deidara said.

"And I told you I see Sasuke once in two weeks." Itachi bit out. "The rest of those days I'm there just for you, to not even start about the fact I stopped making appointments with my friends to be there for you. And that's why I thought you were once more making a drama out of nothing. I was always there for you, only not when my brother needs help. Especially because he has no one to go to but me."

"So I was just overreacting right?" Deidara snapped now. He tried his hardest not to cry, but he couldn't stand Itachi being this angry with him.

"Yes you were." Itachi snapped back. "You made it seem like I 'like' leaving you alone on our romantic night together. Sasuke likes it to live alone now, but he's still young and needs support. What would you do Deidara? Please your lover and stay with him, to have a 'romantic' dinner together while you know your brother is crying because of loneliness? Probably doing stupid things because he has no clue what to do with his emotions? Do you remember what happened when I chose to ignore him for you? That I had to drive towards the hospital because he had taken a fucking overdose to push his emotions away?"

"But you always pick him!" Deidara yelled now, tears streaming down his face. "It's always Sasuke this, Sasuke that! If he needs to put his fucking clothes on you leave to help him un!"

"Of course I go to him when he needs my help!" Itachi snapped, now getting furious. "I'm his older brother! I have been his parent after our parents died, 'I' am the one he can rely to! If I wouldn't be there for him he would be a junk right now, or even dead! And if you can't handle it that I have more persons in my life that I care about beside you, then you made the right decision by breaking up with me! I give you all the love you need, the only thing I can't do is let go of my brother, because he needs me to survive! And don't you dare say things like that, you know I'm only going when he really needs me and is crying!"

Deidara now just glared at Itachi before looking away and taking a few deep breaths. His lip was trembling and he felt a few tears streaming down his face. He couldn't bring out a single word anymore.

"I don't know what kind of person you're searching for, but I'm obviously not good enough for you." Itachi snapped to Deidara. "I learned my lesson from this, it was a huge mistake to put myself into a relationship like this. I thought I did something good and nice by giving you my heart, I never expected you to crush it as easily as you did. And if I can repair it, I don't know." With that, he grabbed his breakfast and walked away from Deidara, into the living room.

Deidara stood in the kitchen for a while as he softly cried, but then decided to follow Itachi.

".. I never meant to hurt you like this.." He softly said. Maybe Itachi wouldn't even believe that and kick him out. Deidara wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see him again.

"...I guess this conversation is too early for both of us now." Itachi said, as he quickly looked away when Deidara looked at him. He quickly blinked away the tears that had gotten into his eyes.

"..I think you said enough un.. I'm sorry I ruined your life.." Deidara said, looking at Itachi for a while and then moving to get his stuff he had taken into the house.

"You didn't ruin my life, I just thought our relationship was worth more." Itachi said, his voice as cold as ice. "It seems you meant a lot more to me then the other way around. Choosing the easy way of breaking up shows how motivated you were to fight for us."

Deidara looked at Itachi angry now and then started crying again.

"I don't get why you have to be so mean to me right now." He snapped. "I get it, I broke your heart, I was stupid, unmotivated, didn't love whatever! If that's what you believe then fine, but stop telling me. If this is your kind of revenge then it's cruel un.." He quickly wiped some tears away and hurried himself out of the living room.

Itachi kept on sitting on the couch, glaring at the TV. No matter how angry he was, he couldn't stop the tears that now ran down his cheeks. While he heard Deidara walking into his bedroom, he stood and walked back to the kitchen. There he grabbed the box with calming pills, and filled a glass with water. He then started taking in the pills. He took one, then another one, and then even more. He bit his lip as he felt a rush of pain going through him as he stopped himself from running towards the bedroom to kiss Deidara and hold him close. It only resulted in him taking in another pill. Within a few seconds he regretted what he had done, because dizziness started to take over and he grabbed himself onto the sink. Damn it.. this was the main reason he had decided to push away emotions. Emotions could ruin you completely.

It didn't take long before Deidara walked back into the living room and when he didn't saw Itachi there, looked for him in the kitchen. He saw the pills and Itachi holding himself up. Deidara was silent for a while, before he put his bag down and walked to Itachi.

"..Stop using those pills..." He said. He couldn't help but be worried about Itachi.

"G-go away." Itachi snapped, but it came out as a choked sob. Itachi was crying. And not a little. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he gripped himself so hard on the sink that his knuckles had turned white.

Deidara grabbed Itachi's hand softly and tried to get it off the sink.

".. I'm sorry.." He said, almost whispering.

Itachi was silent for a while, before he let go of the sink and grabbed Deidara, hugging him tightly, burying his face into Deidara's neck.

"..F-fuck.. I love you s-so, 'so' much Deidara.." He sobbed. "..You h-have no idea.. Y-you have no i-idea..."

Deidara grabbed Itachi tightly, not even thinking about it and closed his eyes.

"..I do know that... please stop crying un.." He said, not wanting to cry as well. He figured Itachi just needed some comfort. He had screwed up for too badly to ask Itachi if he could come back.

Itachi cried silently for some time, before letting go of Deidara and leaning against the sink again. He then shook his head, as he stroke his tears away. He shouldn't even be showing this much emotion to Deidara. But he just needed him.

Deidara looked at Itachi for a while, before looking down.

"... I do love you.. more than anyone else... I'm sorry I couldn't get that across un.." He said and turned around to get his bag again. He should probably leave.

Itachi was silent as he stared at the floor. He had no idea what to do now. He felt too tired to go after Deidara, as he felt the pills kicking in. Within just seconds, he slumped down and fell down onto the ground. Just like every time he tried to shove away his emotions.

Deidara turned around as he heard the thud and saw Itachi laying on the ground. He let out a sigh and felt like crying once more. As he let a few tears stroll down his face, he dragged Itachi with him to the living room and put him on the couch. After having put a blanket over him, he just sat down on a chair and cried. He had ruined Itachi. And there was no way he could ever forgive himself for it.