A/N: As a thanks for being so patient and putting up with my complete disregard for posting schedules, I've written an outtake that is posted under the Premature Emasculation on my profile called "See Ya Later, Alligator". Be sure to check it out AFTER you read this chapter. It answers some very big questions. Enjoy.
Oh- I still don't own Twilight. Just in case you were wondering...
8===D
Chapter 9- "Success is How High You Bounce When You Hit Bottom"
"Oh, god, Edward! More! Right there- just like that! Oh! Oh! Baby! Harder! Harder! HARDER! Ugh!"
I pounded into her with everything I had in me. Every time she cried for more, I gave it to her.
"Bella! Oh, Bella! God, you feel good! Your sweet little pussy is so tight! Your skin, it's like silk! I... ugh! I wanna wrap myself up in you, baby! You like this?" I punctuated each word with the powerful thrust of a well conditioned athlete, "Golden... Boy has... all.. the... right... moves! Take it, baby! Take it!"
We'd been going at it like rabbits in the back of my Viper, and I was positive it would reek of sweat and pussy for weeks, but it was Bella, so I didn't care. And, fuck, I'd take pussy over skunk any day. I had her sprawled out in the back seat, slick and slipping underneath me. I could feel her getting close; she was clamping down on my dick like a vice. It was so tight up in there that I had to hit it that much harder just to push my way in with each thrust. I thought how it was a good thing she liked it rough, 'cause rough was what she was getting. A fuckton of rough!
"Ugh! Edward! YES! Just like that! Pound me like a jackhammer, uhhhhhhh!" Every thrust was answered with a loud moan or cry. My girl was vocalizing like a porn star, and there I was unable to use my phone to record that shit! I would have made that her ringtone if I could have.
"That's right, who's your daddy? Want more? Beg, Bella! Beg!" I screwed my eyes shut as I concentrated on the task at hand, er- dick.
"Edward... Edward! Ugh! ED-WARD!" Her cries struck me as panicked, not the fiery calls of a woman the throws of passion. My eyes flew open and I searched for her face to assure myself she was all right. I was met by an equally panicked look instead of the "O" face I was hopping to see. "Fuck, Edward! Wake up! You're dreaming," she hissed at me. I looked around the room, dazed.
Where was I? Oh yeah, psychology. Fuck.
Pretty Boy sucks again!
Don't you mean strikes again, Shat?
No, "strikes" could possibly have a positive connotation. You just suck.
"Edward? Are you okay? Edward!" Bella's voice was low, but overflowing with concern. She had a firm, okay, painful grasp on my bicep, and her nails were digging deeper into the muscles with every moment that passed without a response from me.
"Dammit, Bella, I'm fine! But if you keep squeezing the fuck out of my arm I'm not gonna be able to play this week, and Coach will kill you and me!" She released me from her death grip and glared at me.
"Sorry, but I was trying to wake the dead. Now that I can see that you're alive I think I'll strangle you!"
"What? Why? What did I do?"
"Seriously? You were just sleeping in class!"
"And?"
"AND apparently dreaming!"
"That's what people do when they sleep, Bella- they dream." I wondered why I was having to explain this basic concept to this very smart girl.
"I know, smart ass, but your dream was clearly of the triple X variety."
"Excuse me?"
"You were dreaming, Edward. Out loud!" She hissed again, "And your cries for me to 'Take it!' were competing with the sub par lecture the TA is giving. I thought it only fair to him to wake you up so the other students didn't have to chose between who they should listen to: you or Burt the Splurt."
"That's very considerate of you, Bella," I said, rubbing the last remnants of sleep from my eyes and looked around at a room full of faces all trained on me.
I guess I should have been embarrassed, but at that point I couldn't be bothered. I mean, come on, I'd been fucking taped to a flagpole, naked, for fuck's sake. There was no way I was going to be embarrassed by falling asleep in class. That was until I looked at Bella again. She was looking at all the people looking at us. Her face was a shade of red I'd never seen before, and I worried that she might actually pass out.
"Bella, are you okay?"
"Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod... please just let the ground open up and swallow me now. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Calgon, take me away! Beam me up, Scotty! Dammit! Still here!" She was chanting and rambling all kinds of shit, and she had me worried.
"Bella, what are you doing?" I asked her. I'm not gonna lie, the whole Captain Kirk reference freaked me out a little. I wondered if The Shat was in her head, too.
"I'm trying to will myself into oblivion, or tap into my superhuman powers of invisibility, or maybe go back in time or... or something. Oh, lord, I'm so embarrassed!" The red continued to deepen as she buried her face in her hands and sank down into a nearby desk. My own embarrassment made an appearance, albeit somewhat late to the party. I was a still little surprised by her reaction, considering just days ago we had nearly been caught in the woods with our pants down around our ankles. Literally. But seeing her so upset threw me into action. I turned my attention to the bewildered faces trained on us.
"That's all for this show, folks. Come back at two and four for repeat performances. We now return you to your regular scheduled lecture. You have the floor, Burt." I grabbed our bags in one hand and her arm in the other and tugged her up the aisle and out the back door. A few random claps and catcalls followed us as we retreated from the room. Once we were safely outside, I dropped everything and grabbed her arms, turning her to face me, but she wouldn't actually look at me.
"Bella, look at me, please! I'm sorry you're embarrassed, but you've got to know that wasn't on purpose. I was dreaming, for fuck's sake!"
"I know you were, Edward, but the entire class heard you yelling my name and ordering me to call you 'daddy'!"
I felt bad for her, but I didn't quite get why she was so upset. I probably shouldn't have told her that, though, but I did. Stupid faulty verbal filter.
"You don't get it, do you, Edward? Everyone heard what you were dreaming, and it was fucking crystal clear it was me you were dreaming about." She stared at me like I was slow and missing the point, and honestly, I was. Okay, she was a private person, I got that, but where was the girl who had dry humped me in the driveway of my frat house? "Edward, all those people will now go and tell their stupid buddies and bestie bitches about what happened today, and half of them know Emmett in some way or another..." Call me dense, but I still wasn't following her reasoning. I shook my head trying to rattle all the pieces into place.
Don't shake too hard, numb nads. You may just shake what little sense you have right out your head.
Not. Now. Shatner.
"And...?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you in whipped cream across my naked body for you to get the point, Edward?"
"Actually, that would be especially helpful; and now that you mention it, I am a little hungry." I always woke up hungry after having a smexy dream.
"Shut up, Edward! What happened in there was horrible! I can never show my face in that class again! And I need that damn class to graduate! And that's just the start of the fuckery! You never seem to take anything except football seriously. What are we supposed to do if Emmett finds out we've been sneaking around? Because I can bet that before sunset tonight my adoring big brother will be fully aware that we have carnal knowledge of one another! I hope you're bendy, Mr. Golden Boy, so you can kiss your dick goodbye!"
Ooooh, buurrrrrnnnn!
Fuck off, Shat!
What? Can't a guy appreciate a good burn when he hears one?
Not when it's at my expense!
Well, that's no fun! Those are the best kind!
I looked to see Bella's retreating form as she hurried away from me.
"Hey! Where are you going?" I yelled after her. I couldn't understand what she was getting so worked up about.
"Away from you!"
Ooooh! Baby got (come) back!
SHAT! Fuck off! I don't need you and your random Sir Mix-a-Lot references right now! I'm in the midst of a crisis here! Bella just walked off!
And you LET her!
What was I supposed to do, wrestle her to the ground and make her talk to me?
Well, you two have been spending a lot of time rolling around together lately. Why stop now? Oh, yeah, 'cause she obviously doesn't want you to tickle her with your pickle anymore! Bwahahaha!
You're evil. And wrong. And she does too, she's just mad right now. I think.
I refused to consider that she was walking away for good. Not after the two previously glorious weeks of secret meetings resulting in some of the best sex I had ever had; we were finally getting into a groove and getting our groove on. What wasn't there to love about fantastic fellatio and copious copulation? The fact that it was Bella who I was getting jiggy with made that my definition of the perfect sex life. And believe me, before I'd come to UF I had a pretty fan-fucking-tastic sex life. These past few weeks had eclipsed all of that. I counted our first time together amongst my top ten all time favorite moments. Like just about everything with us, it wasn't planned. Hell, to be honest, I wasn't even expecting a (most fucktastic) blowjob that night. I'd come to consider that top amongst Bella's many talents. So, I was more than surprised when things heated up past the point of no return. In public no less.
It was a funny story. Well, funny if it wasn't your story, and you weren't in the middle of the action. But I could look back at it and laugh. "Time heals all wounds," and all that shit. Anyway...
Bella and I had been enjoying the pleasures of discovering one another's bodies and learning what buttons to push to make the other "sing". I was getting pretty good at making her hit the high notes in record time, but that had never been an issue for me when it came to women. With Bella, though, it was suddenly really important to me. I took a lot of pride in knowing I could bring her intense pleasure. And I wasn't just referring to orgasms, although she was experiencing her fair share of those. No, I loved watching her face light up when I got something, anything, right. I learned that she loved a good adventure- the crazier the better. Just as long as we didn't get caught and it wouldn't go on her permanent record. And I loved that I could bring adventure to her life.
One night, we were out walking hand in hand and passed a business that rented out bouncy houses. You know, the kind you see at kids' parties and out in front of car dealerships. "Hop On Pop's Inflatable Fun" was obviously a major operation; they had a fenced in area where they had a dozen or more moon bounces on display. I couldn't resist all that inflated goodness. I looked at Bella and grabbed onto the chain link fence. Looking back I challenged, "You coming?"
"I don't know, Edward. That's trespassing and breaking and entering and I don't need a criminal record."
"Aw, come on! Don't be a stick in the mud! Live a little! No one's around, and they wouldn't leave them inflated if they didn't want people to jump on them." I might have had a hint of a whine to my voice and I may have busted out the pouty lip.
"No! Not the lip, Golden Boy! Do not even try to get me to do your evil bidding by sticking that lip out at me! It won't work."
"Plllllease, Bella? It'll be fun, and I promise we won't get caught!"
"What are you, like, a five year old girl in pig tails?"
"What are you, a chicken?"
"Fuck you, Cullen! You know I'm not a chicken, I just don't want to end up behind bars and bunking with a 350 pound broad named 'Large Marge'. I'm too pretty for prison."
"You won't, I promise, beautiful. Just come on..." I urged her as I began climbing over the fence. "Besides, they aren't really serious about keeping people out."
"Oh, really? What part of this twelve foot high fence screams, 'WELCOME! COME ON IN!'?"
"There's no barbed wire," I pointed out.
"Ahhh. Then they're clearly inviting us in." Bella looked around before sighing as she grasped the fence and started climbing. "Not to mention there aren't any motes."
"No motes?" I quipped.
"Haven't you heard? They're the latest in Bouncy House security systems. Especially the castles." She motioned to the few moon bounces that resembled castles as she hopped down.
"Nope, no motes. Clearly these people are not serious about protecting their investment." I wrapped my arm around her waist and guided her over to one of the models on display. It dawned on me that she had climbed that twelve foot fence like a pro. "Where did you learn to climb like that, Swan? I'm impressed."
"I grew up with Emmett for a brother, Edward," she offered as an excuse, as if that should make everything clear as day. It kind of did. "I had to learn to climb higher and faster to get away from the Atomic Wedgies and Nuclear Noogies he was infamous for when we were kids. I can still out-climb that mother trucker."
"Good to know. Now can we stop talking about your douche-waffle of a brother long enough for me to kiss you properly?"
"Oh, Edward... You say the sweetest things!" Her voice sang with sarcasm, then she grabbed me by the shirt and tugged me closer so that our lips met. The kiss ended much sooner than I would have liked. Bella toed off her sneakers and scrambled up into the bouncy castle. "What are you waiting for, Cullen? Chicken?" Then the most beautiful, sensual woman I had ever known began to bounce. With each jump she giggled and the sound was like music to my ears. Pure joy.
I couldn't let her have all of the fun. This had been my idea after all! I quickly lost my shoes and climbed up with her. We bounced and jumped around for a while; we laughed and enjoyed the feeling of falling before springing up and floating weightless for just a brief moment before falling again. Over and over again we jumped. It reminded me of the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach every time I kissed Bella. Or held her hand. Or saw her across a crowded room. I had fallen hard.
We jumped harder and harder, seeing how high we could get. Bella squealed with each bounce. Her hair flew up around her like wings and her tits did their own impressions of mini moonwalks each time she landed. Gravity and shit for balance- or maybe it was our magnetic pull- drew us closer together with each jump. I reached out to her and she grabbed onto me as we jumped together. I decided to impress her with my mad skills and tried to spin her around while we bounced. Apparently my skills weren't as mad as I had originally accessed, because Bella let out a mix between a squeal and a yelp as she lost her balance and fell face first into the cushion of air. I instinctually reached out and tried to catch her, but it was pointless. Bella had face-planted into the floor of the bouncy house and I followed behind her, falling as well. My landing wasn't nearly as cushy as hers had been though, because I landed across her back with my face buried in her glorious, bootylicious ass. The letters there boldly spelled out "Juicy". I couldn't agree more. We lay there, giggling and gently bouncing against each other. Almost instantly the fun, carefree feeling that had surrounded us morphed into something heavier. The warmth radiated up from her shorts, and with it the intoxicating scent of her obvious arousal. I did that to her. And I would have fucking bet stacks of money that she was wet and ready without even touching her. God, I wanted to touch her, feel her, burry my face between her legs and taste her again.
So I did.
With a minor adjustment I found myself in the perfect position to reach where I knew she wanted me. I nuzzled her, and she hummed in appreciation as she widened her legs a bit to afford me better access. She tried to flip over when I caressed her over her shorts. A moan escaped her lips, my name became a gasped plea when I held her in place. "Stay where you are, baby," I told her. "I want access to this delicious ass as I taste you." She would be my dessert that night. I palmed the object of my desire, her ass, with one hand as I teased her with the other, slipping under the leg of her shorts and sneaking into her pant- something was off... Where I should have encountered the elastic leg of some fuck hot panties, there was none. My girl was goin' commando! "Bella," I rasped. "Where are your panties?"
"Ugh, Edward, I didn't wear any tonight," she breathed.
"Obviously, love, but why didn't you wear any?" I continued to explore the topography of her nether regions, much to Bella's delight.
"I didn't- oh, WOW... get the chance- ugh, that's amazing! Laundry! Oh, God, Edward, is that your nose?"
"Maybe," I snickered, "You didn't get a chance to do laundry today, huh? Remind me to take you out more often on laundry day. In fact, I wouldn't mind if you never wore panties again." I took great pleasure in teasing the most delicious sounds from her with my fingers.
What had I ever done to deserve such a gift? I must have been a good little boy in a past life. She was slick and soft; ready for play, (See what I did there? For play... foreplay. Pun. Fucking. Intended.) and my touch sent her writhing beneath me.
I tugged at the one barrier between myself and the promised land, working them over her round hips kissing each bare inch of skin as it was revealed to me. When that ass came into view I gently nipped at it, barely grazing her with my teeth. It was just enough pressure to let her know that what I really wanted to do was sink my teeth into her backside. The whimper was the cherry on top.
This was the ass 'Juicy' was made to be sprawled across.
I couldn't be bothered with fully removing her shorts. They were forgotten as soon as they were far enough down her legs that I could easily access the delicacy I'd been craving all night. I dove into her like a starving man who hadn't seen a meal in ten days. My mouth paid her homage, lavishing attention on her. She peppered the air around us with her cries of appreciation and passion. I knew how to get my girl off, but I wanted to relish her splayed beneath me, subject to what I wanted from her. I brought her to the edge, teasing and building only to switch from the lick and flick method to the suck and tongue fuck. She squirmed and begged for release. I wasn't capable of really denying her anything, so I complied; with a concentrated flourish I had her gasping and shuddering. My name never sounded better than when it fell from her lips in ecstasy.
One might have thought that a girl would have been weakened by an earth shattering orgasm like the one I'd just given her. But apparently it was like spinach to Popeye, and with super strength Bella flipped over, sending me tumbling across the bouncy castle into a corner. Bella shimmied the rest of the way out of her shorts, and crawled over to where I had landed; stripping off her top as she did so. I noticed she was sans bra as well. I made a mental note to stop off and buy a lottery ticket on the way home. At the rate my luck was going that night I had a fucking chance at actually winning that week's $452 Million jackpot. But I digress. She nearly purred as she clambered up my body. With a knee on either side of my hips she began a frenzied stripping of my clothing. Her hands immediately found the button and zipper on my pants. Bella was eager to free the Lil' Captain from his cottony confines, and in doing so popped the button off the front of my shorts. The textile-turned-projectile flew up, and for a millisecond I worried it was going to hit her in the face. The scene played out in slow motion: she reared back to avoid getting shot in the kisser. That move thrust her chest forward, blocking the forward trajectory of the button. The Button of Death bounced off her ample, naked tits, well tit. The nakedness of her fun bags distracted me from the new direction the Button of Death had assumed, so when it came barreling towards me I was more concerned with the "buttons" that graced the tips of her creamy mounds than the one that slammed into my eye at an injurious speed.
"FUCK! Shit, Bella! I think I lost an eye!" I screamed like a little pussy.
"Oh, no, baby! Are you okay?"
"I think I scratched my cornea!"
"Here let me see..." She jerked her hand away from my zipper to examine the wound, but in doing so inadvertently tugged the hungry beast open. The teeth caught on some wayward pubes, (did I mention that one of the reasons Bella's commando impressed me so much was because I too had opted for the "less is more" reasoning?) The squeal that ripped from my lungs was anything but masculine. My hands jerked from protecting my injured eye to cupping my junk. LIl' Captain made a hasty retreat least he be next in the siege.
"Oh, my! Edward! I'm so sorry!" Bella realized immediately what had happened and her hands moved to soothe and free the tiny prisoners.
"No, Bella. It's okay." I tried to calm her down before any more vital parts of me became injured or incapacitated. Carefully I finished unzipping my shorts and took them off. Bella sat back as I tried to recapture the moment. That's when Bella stepped up to the bat, so to speak.
"Hey, there, Little Eddie. So nice to see you again!" She was talking to my dick!
"Um, Bella... his name is actually Captain." I tried to concentrate, but her hands had joined in the efforts of her voice to entice the Captain to salute her.
"Oh, really? Well, I wonder if the Captain could be persuaded to come out and run a few 'drills' with me?"
"Bella, are you seriously talking to my cock right now?"
"Well, yeah, I am. I was just trying to encourage him to come back out and play."
"Try rubbing him a little; he likes that."
Without any further encouragement Bella wrapped her hand around the Captain and started bringing him to a full salute.
"You're right, he does like that! And from the way he's reacting, I'd say he likes it a lot."
"I know something else he'd like a lot, beautiful," I cooed as I palmed her tits and rolled their perky peaks between my fingers.
"What's that, baby?'' She panted as she pumped me.
"I just bet he'd love to pet your kitty. I know I sure love to."
"Let's see how he likes it, shall we?"
With that, she positioned herself to hover over me and guided the Captain into home port. It took every ounce of self-control I had to not fire all canons at once.
What's with all the corny euphemisms and code names? Just fuck the chick and get this over with!
Quit your bitchin', Shat! Even you can't ruin this for me. Now run along and play with a Tribble or go document your feelings in a captain's log or some shit. I'm busy here.
Bella lowered herself down until her plush hips were flush with mine.
"Oh, Bella! You feel so good," I gasped. She responded with a moan that made the Captain twitch inside her. With my hands on those glorious handles of love, I encouraged her to continue the task at hand-er member. She easily found a steady rhythm and the friction quickly built to the tell-tale tension that signaled my impending release. I could feel her tightening around me. That sensation coupled with the visual bounce, bounce, bounce of her boobs had me in sensory over-drive. It was truly amazing how much air she was catching with each bounce. I could feel the sweat-slick nylon disappear from beneath us, only to have it catch us in a cushion of air. And the sounds she was making! I think she may have called me her "bitch", but at that moment I couldn't have cared less. Fuck, a damn skunk could have crawled up in the bouncy house with us and I wouldn't have cared.
"I'm close, Edward! Just... a... little... more... ugh!" With a roar she came, and I followed her into ecstasy. Bella collapsed on my chest, her gasps causing her tits to rub teasingly against my chest. I was sure I'd be ready for round two in no time, but I wanted to be on top next. Or behind. I wasn't picky. I was just about to suggest we try another bouncy house or position, or both, when the darkness that shrouded us was decimated by the glow of a security light. It was as bright as the gleam off Justin Bieber's million dollar smile. Bella's eyes got as big as saucers and she scrambled to the corner of the house where our clothes laid jumbled together in a heap. I crawled over to her and we sat huddled together there, still as stones. Waiting. I wasn't sure what we were waiting for, exactly. The Apocalypse? Publisher's Clearing House? Bugs Bunny? But wait we did. Holding our breaths, and clinging to each other. Finally, the light shut off and Bella sprang into action.
"Oh, god, Edward! We have to get out of here," she shoved away from me, and I nearly crumbled at the loss of the feel of her. Then I realized that she was quickly working herself in to a frenzy. She was up and pacing around in the castle... naked. Had I mentioned that I loved Bella's naked body?
"Bella! Chill the fuck out!" I hissed at her, "We were never in danger of being caught!"
"Whatever, Cullen! You live in la-la land or something, because from where I was just sitting it sure seemed like we were almost caught fucking in a bouncy house! And the last time I checked, climbing a twelve foot fence around a business is considered trespassing, which is punishable by law!" The tone of her voice was venomous as she pulled on her shorts and top. I didn't have it in me to keep her in the dark anymore. Our "little adventure" had gotten out of control, and now I needed to make it right again. It was time to let her in on the secret.
"Bella... BELLA!" I raised my voice to get her attention. "Baby, we aren't trespassing. We were never in danger of getting arrested."
"What the fuck, Edward? What are you blabbering about?"
"'Pop'," I pointed to the sign, "is my uncle. I got the security code and keys from my cousin James. We have permission to be here."
"You're telling me your uncle gave you the okay to bring your girlfriend here and defile his kiddie houses?"
"No, of course not! The defiling part wasn't planned, but it was a bonus." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face. I wrapped my arms around her, desperate for the closeness we had shared just moments before. We stood like that for a moment, trying to recapture the squandered post-coital bliss. Eventually she pulled away and started tugging on her shoes. I noticed then that she had socks on. I had to chuckle.
"What's so funny, Golden Boy?" she growled. I guess she was still a little upset about the whole nearly-but-not-quite-being-caught-fucking-in-a-bouncy-castle. I figured the situation could use a little levity.
"Well, it just hit me that, while you didn't feel it was necessary to wear any manner of undergarments, you made it a point to wear socks. I just think that's funny." I found it challenging as fuck to get dressed in an air filled structure. Not to mention I was shaking from laughing at the insanity of the situation.
"Proper hosiery is nothing to laugh about," She informed me, still pissed. "Have you ever had athlete's foot, Cullen? If you had you wouldn't be so quick to laugh." The scowl on her face did nothing to mar her beauty. I was once again struck by how aptly she was named. I quickly tied my shoes.
"So you're telling me that if I don't wear socks I'll get athlete's foot?"
"Possibly. But, might I point out that you also wore socks minus the underwear. Freak." I chose to ignore her penchant for stating the obvious.
"Does that mean we could get Jock Itch from not wearing underwear?" I teased her like the smart ass I was. I should have been holding her, not busting her chops less than ten minutes after some of the hottest sex in my life. Bella walked away before I could grab hold of her hand like I wanted to.
"Of course not! But it could get you laid. Consider tonight exhibit A." With a pointed look she scaled the fence and I nearly broke my neck to follow her over and catch up.
Thus was our relationship was consummated- in a bouncy house. (I was going to have to remind my uncle to have Cousin Jimmy douse that thing in Lysol or bleach. Maybe both.) Somehow it just seemed fitting that our first time together would be in an inflatable castle. For two glorious weeks we romped in the hay, bumped uglies (although Bella's was anything but ugly), did the nasty, the bump and grind, laid some pipe, did the horizontal mambo, hid the salami, parked the pink Cadillac... In short we had a fuckton of sex. Everything was peachy in paradise.
That was until I had gone and dropped the fucking pie on the ground by having a sex dream in Psychology class.
Heh- peachy... paradise. I'd like a slice of Bella's Paradise Peach Pie right about now.
I bet you would, Willie Stroker, but if I'm any judge of body language, I'd say that from the way Bella stormed off earlier she's home clicking the lock on the chastity belt as we speak.
But I didn't do anything! It was a dream! I had no control over the situation!
No, but you could have handed it better, butt munch.
That may have been true, but I still found it hard (the situation, not "IT", as in my pecker) to go from point A to point B when it came to Bella's little outburst that resulted in her storming away from me. It was a sad day when The Shat doles out viable advice. I tried to call her, but it went straight to voice mail. After I'd left the seventh message I decided to just head back to the frat house and regroup. Then I'd go over to the Dee-Gees' and try to smooth things over with my girl. And possibly have some amazing make up sex in the Viper. Not that I was expecting it, but a guy could hope. Right?
Nothing like putting the cart before the horse, or in your case the nookie before the groveling.
Shut up, Shat. I've gotta go after her.
Well, I'm coming, too! I'm not about to miss this!
Of course you are. I wouldn't dream of leaving you behind.
8===D
I drove back to the frat house and walked through the front door feeling utterly defeated. Of all the stupid, asinine things that had happened to me since the start of college this had to be the worst. It killed me that Bella was embarrassed because of something that had to do with me. It was one thing for me to be humiliated and made fun of, but it was not okay for Bella to suffer because I was a loser who couldn't get his shit together.
The door slammed behind me. Doors tend to do that when they're shut forcibly. I decided on the way home that I wasn't going to live like this anymore: always in fear of whether or not Emmett would find out that I was all up in his sister's grill. If my relationship with Bella was the cause of any stress in that beautiful woman's life then I was going to rectify the situation. Resigned to doing what I had to do, I stomped up the stairs determined to talk to Em and get everything out in the open. That way Bella wouldn't have anything more to worry about.
I quickly planned out in my head exactly what I would say to the overly protective older brother of my girlfriend, who I was now banging on a nearly daily basis. The girlfriend... I was banging the girlfriend, not her overly protective older brother. Oh, fuck it. You know who I meant. And as I reached the top of the stairs I had more confidence than I'd had since arriving on campus. I strode over to Emmett's door and gave it a sharp rap before pushing it open. I briefly registered what I thought was a "come in", but I had already begun to do so. I looked up to the singularly most distressing image I had yet to witness in my short life: the overly protective older brother of my girlfriend was standing in the middle of his room... in nothing but the skin he was born in and the largest red bow I had ever seen- strapped over his junk.
And my only thought was, Is a bow that big really necessary?
8===D
A/N: That's it! They did IT, and you got to read about it because LauraLoo kicked my ass and threatened to disown me if I didn't. I need to acknowledge a few other key contributors to the completion of this chapter.
TwilightMundi betas and makes these words shine. You have no idea how much spit it takes to make this crap pretty. Thanks, GG. I love you.
Barburella and LauraLoo pre-read and give gentle encouragement as well as whip cracks. The second is need more often than the first.
Coochie, you know why you're down here. Thanks. ILY.
Special muchas gracias to SueObsessed for "douchewaffle", and to BellaFlan for informing me that "Bouncy Castles" is a British euphemism for sex only after I had written that part of the chapter. It was meant to be! Bawhahha!
One more chapter and the epilogue to go, my dears. I can't believe this is almost over. Don't worry, I have some outtakes planned!