Forsaken Character Chronicles Book 1:
Kurosaki Yuzu
The Clairvoyant
Chapter 3: Exhaustion
--X—
School is dull with a capital "D". The regular school day consists of a riveting 6 classes with a lunch period and a study hall. We're given classwork and homework in almost every class, but the assignments are fairly easy. As a way of showing this is true, I'm going to say that I've finished all of my homework within the first 15 minutes of study hall since I did so much of it after I was done with the classwork in each of my classes. So now I have nothing to do. What could I do anyway? I could wait for my friends to finish so we could "collaborate on our work" (i.e. chat) or I can read "something related to my schoolwork" (i.e. read one of the books I have in my backpack). I think I'll go for the latter idea.
Digging into my backpack for a random, non-textbook, piece of literature, I clutched onto something fairly big. I drew it out and found something I completely forgot I had: Mom's diary. Smirking softly, I placed the book in front of me and began reading, starting from the entry after the one Mom and I read last night. It was really weird, though. Dates were written down for about 2 weeks after the diary entry Mom read last night, but there were only partial or incomplete entries for them. It was also odd that the handwriting that I saw was a lot sloppier than the original writings that were in the diary. Maybe she was tired during the time she wrote the entries. I don't really know.
--X--
May 1, 20XX
Dear Diary,
Today was…interesting, to say the least. Rukia-chan has been trying to help me with the powers that I've come across. I don't know what exactly will happen with my powers, but I do know one thing. I…am probably…the most…
--X--
The entry cut off there for some reason. I was confused, but I decided to keep reading to see if I could find answers in the next entry. The weird thing was, there were little pen marks on the following lines that suggested that Mom tried to write something, but never got around to moving the pen in any legible fashion. The next actual entry's handwriting was a tad worse off than the previous one, but it was still something I could read.
--X--
May 5, 20XX
Dear Diary,
Sorry about not writing. Luckily, the news for today is just about the same as the news for the past few days, so I…don't really have to worry about making up for four days of diary entries in one night. I…had a little trouble staying up with all I did the past few days. Truthfully, I didn't do much more than the usual things I did. I went to school and then I went to…somewhere…where Rukia-chan tried to help me with my powers. I'm sorry…I'm a little hazy in the mind right now. Details escape me like…
--X—
The entry cut off again. There wasn't really much to work with when it came to information. All I knew at this point was that Aunt Rukia helped Mom out with her powers and that, by the end of the day, Mom was dead tired to the point that she couldn't quite write anything coherent. It was confusing, but I think I've already established that. The next entry was a little worse off handwriting-wise, but, in exchange for a little trouble reading it, the entry seemed longer than the last two.
--X—
May 13, 20XX
Dear Diary,
For the record, I am DEAD tired right now. It's really difficult even to muster up the energy to write this diary entry right now. I know I'm supposed to be training my abilities, but am I supposed to be THIS tired? I cannot believe how badly this training process is turning out. True, I'm making a little progress, but this exhaustion is completely frustrating! I can't stand not being able to, well…stand after I fire off one or two rounds of whatever the heck I somehow miraculously can do! It's cool to be able to shoot fire out of my hands, but it is not cool that I am so exhausted by the end of it that I was not able to finish the diary entry from the last two times I tried to write in here!
Okay, now that I'm a little calmer about writing, I'll get around to writing down exactly what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks instead of leaving you in the dark with the vague phrase, "training my abilities". I've been working myself to the bone trying to control something that Rukia-chan calls "spiritual power". It's hard to explain, really, but this energy is something that…that I have within me that pools somewhere near my life force. This doesn't mean I'm shortening my life span by using this power. It just means that I have to dig really deep in order to get to this energy. And I don't mean "deep" as in the depth that you have to dig to find that burst of energy required to get you across a finish line at top speed when you're racing a person you really want to beat, but "deep" as in the depth that you have to dig to keep living through extreme pain and suffering or the depth you have to dig to keep moving through absolute exhaustion for the sake of saving a life: yours or otherwise. Do you get what I'm talking about? I'm not too sure if I explained it well enough.
Anyway, now that that bit of explanation is out of the way, I can finally get on to talking about…
--X—
The tail end of that word stretched from the line that the word itself was so graciously seated upon diagonally downward and to the right, into the right margin, and off the cliff-side that was the edge of the paper. It was the obvious sign of one falling asleep at the wheel of the vehicle that was a thought process. Vehicle driving off of a cliff-side; it seems like a great little comparison, doesn't it? That's what these entries seemed like, really. It was kind of like what would happen if a sleepy person were to try driving. There would be a few close-calls, then, finally, the driver falls asleep at the worst possible moment leading into an ear-splitting crash.
And lo, the crash came not far away, as the next page held only two words and a punctuation mark written in black ink, much like the rest of the diary entries, but the words were frayed by random streams of ink and ink droplets, both of which littered the otherwise blank portions of the page: evidence possibly of a snapped pen. The words here were probably the most legible words I've read all day, despite the fact that I've been reading the printed paper of the school worksheets: the epitome of legibility. The words were bold and underlined numerous times.
"DAMN IT!"
The next entry was written in a different color ink altogether: blue. The first part of this entry consisted of a list of two things that seemed like spells, complete with incantations; the first of which seemed to be the one that Mom first used.
--X--
May 18, 20XX
"Destructive Art 33: Sôkatsui"
--"Ye Lord, mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, Ye who bears the name of Man; Truth and Temperance, bear thy claws slightly upon the wall of sinless dreams!"
Destructive Art 31: Shakkahô
--"Ye Lord, mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, Ye who bears the name of Man; Inferno and Pandemonium, surge the sea barrier, March onto the south!"
Dear Diary,
My God, my handwriting stunk for the last 2 weeks. And, after I opened up my dairy today, I almost can't believe I had the gall to write what I did on the page before this one. And also, just so you know, my pen DID break back there. The ink splotches on the previous page (as well as the ones on my hands) account for that. Ink is such a pain to remove from skin…
Well, anyway, now that I'm finally back on the ball when it comes to my handwriting, my schoolwork (which has slipped slightly in the past two weeks), and my state of consciousness, I can finally, TRULY write exactly what has been going on. As a side note, I just love the feeling of lucidity after a couple of weeks without it.
Rukia-chan put me through one hell of a training regiment to build up whatever I had as abilities. Basically speaking, it was a spiritual workout, but it wasn't anything like the meditation or prayer that some people do to "empower their spirits". Literally, I got my soul knocked out of me. Rukia-chan has this glove that has the ability to do that! It's a horrible feeling to be knocked out of the thing that you're used to being contained in (i.e. your body!), but there is something freeing about it. Despite the insanely large (yet weightless) chain that you tote about on your chest to keep you connected to your body, it feels nice to not have a mass assigned to you (at least, not much of one). Physics don't seem to apply in its entirety when you're just a mass of the something that makes up what you are. It's a little awkward, but I really liked it. It was really too bad that I only was able to enjoy this feeling for all of seven seconds before the remote clearing we were in turned into my personal hell. Rukia-chan said that I needed to gain control of my spiritual power before any progress can be made. That meant a grueling training session involving much running, dodging, and focusing on my ectoplasmic form, making sure I'm able to control my movements as a spirit. Then, after that brief warm-up, I was able to go back into my body. It is truly a baffling experience when you find that you're both exhausted and perfectly rested at the same time, but I didn't really have time to think about it because Rukia-chan had me try and fire off the spell that I used the first time around: Sôkatsui. If I failed, I had to try again. If I failed 3 times, I was knocked out of my body once more and was told to run about the clearing about 5 times (about 2 kilometers, I'm sure). Rinse and repeat.
For each day afterward until two days ago, it was exactly the same. Now that I've finally gotten at least a small it of control over my abilities, Rukia has taken the liberty of trying to teach me other spells, only one of which I've actually learned how to do well enough.
So, that's the story. I've been excessively tired due to the training (thus the horrid handwriting and the mysteriously incomplete entries). But, oddly, I'm not feeling as tired today, which is why I'm able to churn this out before completely turning in. On that particular note, however, I'll bid you good night. I am still kind of tired.
--X—
That particular entry was a lot more satisfying than the previous ones. As I'm reading this, I find myself thinking that I'm reading the training session of a hero in a fantasy novel. The problem about that is the simple fact that this is my mom's diary. There's no real reason for me to disbelieve her words except for the sheer impossibility that can be associated with her diary entries. I mean, the magic and the monsters are unthinkable to believe; if they did exist, I would know about it from someone would have reported something about an occurrence like this.
Dwelling on this now does seem somewhat pointless. I am still at school after all; drumming my fingers on the tabletop, trying to pass the time while reading my mother's past.
Regardless, there is a small part of me that is still thinking about it. I look up to the beginning of the entry and mutter softly.
"'Destructive Art 33: Sôkatsui'…"
The bell rang moments later. It's time to go home.
--X—
Many problems may be attributed to things not seen. When things are not noticed, they cannot be used to benefit. Even though the unnoticed may not be used to harm, either, ignorance may be just as destructive.
So, as the boy sits at his desk, his right forearm resting on the top of his right leg. He does not notice the flash of blue that appeared in his right hand for a fraction of a second a moment after he said the spell title.