Chapter Six

Beckett was just walking into the lobby of her apartment building when her phone alerted her to a text message. She didn't expect when she pulled the phone out of her pocket that it would be Castle, but there it was. Reading his message she wondered what Josh had told him to have Castle thinking she was with her boyfriend tonight.

Of course, she had told Castle she had plans, how was he supposed to know that she had been trying to find him and make sure he was alright, so she had completely forgotten about her date and ended up rescheduling with her boyfriend.

She didn't want to put this off any longer and she knew he wouldn't call if he thought she was with Josh, so she quickly typed out a response as she rode the elevator up. "No Josh, just take out and an old movie. I had to work late"

Kate kept her phone close as she started to go through the process of decompressing from her day. Despite the fact that her phone would have sounded if she received a response from him, she couldn't stop herself from glancing at it repeatedly as she set her take out on the counter.

Kate decided she wasn't feeling hungry as she waited anxiously to see if Castle had turned his phone off or if he would respond again. Slipping the take out containers into the fridge she grabbed her phone off the counter and walked into her bedroom. Setting the phone on top of her dresser, Kate put away her gun. She gently removed her father's watch and the necklace with her mom's ring and softly placed them in her jewelry box.

Kate took a moment to look down at the picture of her parents in the top of the box. They were so happy together; the perfect example of marital bliss, her guide in life that instated her firm belief that real love was until death. One man and one woman who faced down all the challenges that life brought them and those things made them stronger together instead of pitting them against each other.

She let her finger slowly trace the outline of her mom's face. She had spent a lot of time thinking about her mom or her dad in the past 12 years, but as she considered it, she really hadn't thought about them together very often. She thought about the things they had done as a family or all the times she had spent doing girl's day things with her mom, but as her fingers toyed with the velvet box in her jacket pocket she found herself thinking about what she had seen in their relationship.

The way they looked at each other and anyone could see that when their eyes met, in those brief moments, it was like there was no one else in the world. The shared smiles and silent moments between the two were as poignant and telling as the affectionate way her father always found a way to touch his wife, subtle but unmistakably both possessive and proud. Alone they were amazing people, but together they were like magic.

The more she thought about it, the more Kate wondered how much of her interpretation of her parents had been skewed by her youth and the fact that she looked up to them so much. She shook off the thought quickly as she remembered the one time she had heard her parents have an argument. They bickered all the time, but it was a light hearted banter that was never mean or spiteful. It was playful and actually reminded her a little of Castle and his family.

She glanced at the phone, still nothing, and then shook the thought off as she looked back at the photo of her parents. She didn't know what had started that argument between them; she had been about eight years old and sleeping in the backseat of the car during a long road trip. They had been on their way home from some distant relative's wedding in Charleston, South Carolina. She remembered waking up to her father sleeping in the passenger seat and her mom crying quietly as she drove.

It was an odd experience because her mom wasn't one to cry. She was so strong. It had shocked young Kate so much that she stayed still in the backseat and simply observed them. It didn't take her long to realize that her father wasn't actually sleeping, but stewing silently in the passenger seat with his eyes closed. A sort of escape from whatever had happened.

She had never seen her parents like that and it scared her as the miles ticked by out the window. It was dark, so she had nothing to distract her from the adults in front of her. She wasn't sure how long they drove through the dark before she finally spotted a sign for a rest stop and asked to go to the bathroom.

By the time she came out of the restroom, he parents were hugging beside their family car. When they got back in it was like an entirely different road trip. From what she could gather after that, her parents had some kind of misunderstanding. Her father had said something that her mom misunderstood and her response had been taken the wrong way because it was in reference to whatever he had said.

Three things happened after the argument: Her parents laughed together about the fact that they were both really awful listeners, they pulled off in the next town and found a little bed and breakfast to stay at for the night so they could finish the drive with fresh minds in the morning, and their family never went on a road trip that didn't have frequent stops for rest and relaxation along the way. Apparently, spending fourteen hours driving was not conducive to logical thinking or maintaining level nerves.

That was a lesson that Kate abided by even to this day. Not that she ever went anywhere, but when she did, it was always planned out following the 'Beckett Family Squabble Prevention Act' that they had jokingly instituted after that summer. They had sat together as a family, written out all the provisions and signed it. That paper was still tucked in a photo album somewhere at her Dad's house, but the swirling letters of her mom's elegant handwriting was burned into her mind from reading it together every year before they set out on their family vacation.

She never saw her parents argue about anything after that. They didn't fight about money or argue about the household chores. They didn't complain about one or the other having more responsibility. They never talked about how impossible it was to spend time together when her mom had so much responsibility in her job and took on side projects. Theirs was a loving and supportive relationship and the more Kate experienced her own relationships, the more she wondered if she had seen the two of them through rose colored glasses.

It didn't seem logically that they would have nothing more than tiny disagreements throughout their entire marriage and Kate couldn't go three months in a relationship without some kind of argument blowing up. There was always really great make-up sex afterwards, but that didn't seem to ease the feelings that built in her from those moments of anger where both sides said things they later told the other they hadn't meant, but she knew that an argument was the way most people vented whatever had been bothering them.

She had been thinking her job was to blame for a lot of the problems in her relationships so far in her life. Having such a time-consuming profession, one that she buried herself in sometimes to the point of obsession, had ruined nearly every relationship she had ever been in.

Things were different with Josh. He had a job that was equally as demanding as her own that he pursued in a similar obsessive manner. It didn't stop him from being frustrated when she was called out in the middle of the night. It had taken them nearly six months before they had their first fight. She had been rather impressed with that fact, seeing as it was the longest she had been in a relationship without having her boyfriend grumble about her obsessive work schedule.

Of course, as she thought about it, they really hadn't spent all that much time together because of their similarly demanding work schedules.

Kate pulled the box she had been running her finger across out of her pocket and set it on the dresser, not opening it. She knew what was inside and at the moment she didn't want to see it again. Not while she was so damn confused. The more she thought about that ring the more it bothered her. How he could think they were ready for this step when they barely had any time to themselves.

She felt an annoying sense of anger with him for jumping the gun, but she knew that had a little to do with how much she had been holding back in their relationship to this point. He had officially become her longest adult relationship last month, but that didn't mean that she was ready to call it forever. She didn't believe in divorce, or at least she didn't want to be someone who ended up divorced. This was a major decision in her life and the fact that he seemed to be jumping the gun made her stomach knot.

She tried to convince herself that his attempt at moving their relationship forward only bothered her because he would spend at least three months of every year in some third world country. Tried to convince herself that his lack of interest in children because 'there were enough kids in the world' made sense and didn't bother her at all. Tried to dismiss the fact that of the six arguments they had since their relationship started, four of them had been about her partner.

Tried and failed.

Today had been a rollercoaster of realizations. She left Josh's house that morning and he met her at the door, passing the box to her on her way out. He had asked her to hang onto the ring while she considered it. He gave her one of those smiles that she normally found so endearing, but that morning it hadn't made her feel anything but annoyed. She smiled back and took the box, the feel of the velvet on fingers as she slipped it in her pocket sent a chill through her. She was not ready for any of this.

The early morning hours, before Castle made it to the precinct, were spent thinking about what forever with Josh would be like. A serious relationship, that didn't have that sense of humor that her parents had shared. A quiet home they rarely spent time at together aside from sleeping. An empty house without the one or two kids she thought she would probably have some day. Three to six months every year with a husband out of the country.

She was looking at the ring sadly, considering the months she had wasted in a relationship that was exactly the opposite of what she really wanted in her life when Castle walked in and she shoved it away, slamming it in her drawer and forgetting about it until Josh called her later.

It hadn't helped that she spent the day worried about Castle. That man had gotten under her skin and she was more than a little suspicious that there was some truth to Josh's concerns about him and their partnership. She didn't want to follow that train of thought, so she started to strip her clothes off in preparation for her bath.

Once free of the garments, Beckett slipped into her silky robe before heading into the bathroom to start the bath. She got the water to the correct temperature and then moved back into her bedroom to grab her phone.

As confused as she was about all of the day's events, she was worried that she still hadn't received a response from Castle. She knew she was an idiot for caring about whatever he had run off for earlier, but she couldn't stop seeing that defeated look on his face. She was curious, and she knew she couldn't blame all of it on the fact that she was a detective who liked to have answers.

Kate waited as the tub filled with warm water and the scent of her bath oil filled the bathroom as steam rose from the water. Ignoring her instincts against following up again despite his ignoring her, Beckett typed out a quick message to Castle, "Please call me."

She felt a little ridiculous as she looked at the words, but the sight of him in the elevator popped back into her head and she hit send before she could talk herself out of it.

She stared at her phone for a moment as the bath filled and then laid it near the tub so she could answer it if he did indeed call her.

With an exhausted and annoyed sigh, Beckett decided against lighting the candles. She untied her robe and was just pulling it off when she heard the knock at the door.

She pulled her robe around herself and tied it back in place. It was probably Josh looking for an answer instead of just waiting until they met the following day for brunch. She was too tired to deal with telling him all the things she had come to realize, but she couldn't leave him standing out there.

Walking out to the living room and looking through the peephole she was surprised and relieved to see who was standing on the other side of the door.

She pulled it open, "Castle?" she said with a little more surprise than she had intended.

x.x.x

A/N: Holy Crap! I guess I didn't lose you guys with the long delay. I feel really bad when I leave you all hanging that long and it was reassuring to see that you were still along with me even though I wandered off for over a week. That won't happen again, I'll update every 2 days at least. Thanks

Review that made my day: SunshinyKate, Because I love hearing interpretations, especially when it confirms that a scene played out how I had intended it while writing. Thanks.

Thanks to everyone for reading.