I won't ramble tonight! Promise! I don't have much to say, and I have to get to bed, so I don't really have much of a choice. xD But, I do have to say this. Today, I found out that, if I go to an Aerosmith concert, I will need throat surgery- and possibly a heart transplant /and/ my legs won't survive- afterwards. Steven Tyler was singing on the Country Music Awards or wtfever- for some reason, the television was turned to that channel in the living room while I was working on my English project up there- and I had some kind of attack. I was jumping up and down and screaming and fangirling all over the place. My parents were dying of laughter. xD

Also, this is late. I know. I had an English project, okay? One that I mentioned right up there! -points to first bit-

So, I had a reviewer (S-chama! =D) that asked for a cheesey chapter. This isn't exactly what you wanted (I don't do carnivals) but I hope you like it anyways. Also, Susannah insisted upon the "mysterious boat" and the "mysterious island" and the "mysterious dinner" that she never said they had to actually eat. So I hope she's happy with this as well. =D

Edward: Just stop talking already and get on with the chapter.

Roy: No one wants to hear about your life. They want to hear what your head comes up with.

Me: T_T Why can't you let me think they like me for more than my writing? Meanies!

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! You guys rock!

Disclaimer: -sigh- I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I wrote this story and came up with it and my OC, but everything FMA-related is Hiromu Arakawa's.

Warnings: Lemons, foul language, Winry, OOCness.

Hope you enjoy!

"Roy?" The dark-haired man glanced up at the blond that had said his name, hands cupped around the warmth of his coffee mug. He hummed quietly to let it be known that he was listening. Edward swiped his thumb along the corner of Nicholas' mouth, clearing away a bit of drool and food. The child was sitting on his knee, messily eating and giggling at his father's frustration with the mess. "Winry says she's gonna make the custody thing hell; she said she doesn't want two-" the younger alchemist faltered, "two queers raising her kid."

"She should watch her mouth." Roy snapped, grip tightening on the mug. Ed smiled gratefully. "Edward. If you wanted Nicholas, then you have to have known she'd fight back. You both love him. Hell, I'm even starting to like the little guy myself. So I'll be here with you, fighting just as hard to get him, the whole time." Nicholas laughed, reaching out for the general. His chubby arms didn't quite reach, though.

"Roy! Bounce, bounce!" he insisted, straining against his father's attempt to keep him from toppling flat on his face. The man sighed loudly in false exasperation, leaning over to take the baby from Edward.

"Alright, alright. Come here." He settled Nicholas on his knee, making sure he wouldn't fall, and started bouncing him.

"He'll never let you stop that now. You'll be doing it in your sleep."

"At least he likes me now."

"Only your leg." Ed corrected, smirking as he stood up. "I'm gonna go get a quick shower; he got me filthy. You cam have the honor of cleaning him up this time."

"Hey. Ed." The blond stopped and turned halfway, just enough that he could stare at the other man questioningly. "See if Al and Mei can watch Nicholas tonight. You and I have plans."

"Since when?"

"Since… I decided we needed to make plans for tonight."

"Yeah, yeah. Alright. Whatever. I'll ask 'em."

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"I don't like this, Roy." Edward stumbled over something on the floor, though he was unable to see what it was due to the blindfold tied tightly over his eyes. "Can't you take this damn thing off? I hate not being able to see where I'm going." he whined, nearly running into the doorframe.

"Whoa! No, this way. Just relax and let me be your eyes." A hand splayed between his shoulder blades. Breath tickled his ear and he shuddered, feeling behind him for the older man. His hand found Roy's thigh, pressed flat against the jeans material that was warmed by the dark-haired man's skin.

"Come on, Roy! Just tell me where the fuck you're planning on taking me!" the blond whined again, slapping his hand against the thigh it was resting on.

"Ow! Ed, be patient." There was the sound of a car door opening, and then Roy's hand moved from his back to the top of his head. "Watch your head. And your shin." The younger used his automail shin to find the edge of the car and felt his way into the seat. Even with Roy helping him, he still managed to bang his forehead against the roof.

"Son of a bitch." he growled, pressing a hand to the spot.

"Shit. You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Can I take this fucking thing off now?"

"Ed?"

"What?"

"Patience." The car door on his side closed and, after a few moments of silence, the one on his other side opened, Roy climbed in, and then it closed, too. The car started.

"So I'm taking that as a no?"

"That's what it means." the dark-haired man confirmed, nodding slightly even though he knew Edward couldn't see him. Beside him, the young alchemist settled back into his seat, head falling back. He could hear steel toes tapping against the floorboard, a sign of Edward's impatience. "Don't act all pissy. You'll like it."

"That doesn't explain why I can't take the damn blindfold off already."

"Because I said not to."

"That's not a good reason, Roy."

"Edward."

"Fine." There was silence. Ed shifted closer. Roy glanced at him, nudged him lightly with his elbow. "What about now?" the blond asked, pushing the elbow away from his side. He heard a long sigh.

"How about this? When it can be taken off, I'll take it off for you." the general answered, turning off onto a side street. Edward growled in reply and attempted to drop his head against the older man's shoulder. The key word being attempted, especially considering he missed and almost ended up in Roy's lap instead.

"How much farther?"

"Almost there." There was a few more minutes of silence, then the car stopped. A door opened, closed. He felt around for his own door handle, biting his lip in concentration. The door- his hands were running along it- opened and a larger, warm, calloused hand grabbed his own flesh hand. Roy helped him out, one arm wrapping around his waist. "Ready?"

"Hell yes. Did you really have to ask?"

"I thought it'd be nice of me."

"Take the damn thing off already." Behind him, his lover chuckled and began tugging the knot he himself had tied back at their house. Ed's fingers twitched impatiently at his side. The material fluttered from in front of his eyes, one end caught firmly between Roy's fingers. He frowned, eyebrows furrowing while he blinked away the blurriness in his vision. "Thanks." he mumbled, looking around to figure out where they were. The moon wasn't very high in the sky yet; they'd have left earlier, but Roy had insisted the moon be up, though Ed had no clue as to why that was so important. "Okay, I have no idea where we are. Where the hell is this?"

"Can't you just enjoy it?" Edward glanced over at him, then sighed and nodded. "Come on." He let the dark-haired man take his hand and lead him closer to the still water of the lake. The toes of his boots weren't far from the black edge when Roy turned and started walking along it instead of towards it, dragging him along as well.

"It's quiet."

"And rather nice." Roy agreed, squeezing the other's fingers. Ed tilted his head to rest on the older man's shoulder.

"May not get to do anything like this for a while. Just us, no worrying and shit. Ya know?"

"Let's not talk about it. Because you're right. We probably won't, and I want to enjoy it."

"Yeah. Okay." Ed twined their fingers together, glancing up at the sky. That was why he didn't even notice when Roy led him out onto the dock. When the other's hand slipped away and he was left standing alone, he finally noticed. "Hey, what're you- Oh no. I am not getting in that."

"Ed, where's your sense of adventure? You'll be fine."

"Roy-"

"Trust me." The blond bit his lip, but stepped towards the edge of the dock and the small boat anyways; he'd kill the general later.

"Don't turn it over, okay." he mumbled, sitting down on the dock and dropping easily into the boat so as not to cause it to tip over. Roy was already settled down at one end, watching the younger with a smile on his face. "So, what the hell is this for anyways? I mean, a boat ride under the moon? You been reading some sappy shit or something? Must've been talking to Mei, right? She may be bitchy, but she's got all that hopeless romantic shit in her head and I swear she's got some of the corniest ideas I've ever heard."

"Hey, take a breath." The dark-haired man paused, and Edward finally shut his mouth. "Does it really matter?"

"Yes."

"No, it doesn't." Roy leaned forward, nudging the blond's lips with his own. "Now stop talking." And the younger alchemist couldn't argue. There was a tongue in his mouth, and doing so would've been very hard. If he'd wanted to, that is, and he hadn't really wanted to. This kiss didn't last long, though. Soon, the dark-haired man pulled away.

"You haven't been drinking."

"You poured my whiskey down the kitchen sink."

"Oh. Yeah. Right." They were far away from the dock now. Ed looked over the side of the boat, put his hand over the side and let his flesh fingers trail through the ripples. He couldn't see his reflection; only the reflection of the moon. It was a bit eerie against the black, glass-like surface. Well, it had been glass-like. Now it was full of ripples and lines. "So, are we just gonna sit around in a boat all night?"

"Just wait."

"Nnnnnn~gh, but I don't like waiting!" Edward whined, flicking water in the older man's face.

"Now your just acting like a child." The Flame Alchemist reached up and wiped the water from his cheek, frowning. "Don't make me blindfold you again." The blond glared at him for a few moments, then went back to staring at the water- mouth closed this time.

After what seemed like forever to Edward, they bumped into land again and he looked up. This was a place- a small, isolated island in the middle of the large lake- that he'd never before noticed. It was nice and quiet, peaceful, but he had no clue what business they could possibly have here. There were a lot of trees and no houses or people, so they wouldn't be meeting anyone, right? Frowning, he looked over at Roy for answers.

"Quiet. Isolated. I'm sure you've noticed that." Edward nodded. "We won't be disturbed." the dark-haired man finished, climbing out and pulling the boat- with Ed still in it- onto the shore. Then he offered a hand to the blond, who took it and hauled himself ungracefully out, grumbling what sounded like a thank you. After a moment of thought, he bent over and took his shoes off, tossed them in the boat, then gestured for Roy to do the same, wiggling his toes in the sand.

"Last time I did this, I was just a little kid." he told the older man, smiling. As soon as the general's shoes were off as well, Ed winked at him and took off running, kicking up sand. He didn't hear Roy chasing him, so he didn't expect arms to suddenly wrap around his waist and spin him around in a circle, wrenching a startled yelp from his throat. Teeth nipped at the sensitive patch of skin behind his ear and he chuckled. He tilted his head back to look at his lover and spotted something off to the side that… really shouldn't be on a deserted island. "Oh shit. How early did you start getting ready for this?"

"I did nothing."

"Yeah right, dumbass. How stupid do you think I am."

"None of it was me."

"Sure. Okay. You stick with that, but I don't believe it."

"Just go on and enjoy it. I know you're starving." Roy finally let go of the blond and started towards the table set for two himself, not looking behind him to see if he was being followed. He knew he was; if Ed didn't want food, he'd have to take him to the doctor because there would obviously be something wrong. So, when cold, steel fingers wrapped around his wrist and forced him to stop walking, he was surprised.

"What if I wanna do something other than have dinner?"

"Huh?"

"We're on a deserted island, with a lake right there, and no one to see us ." Edward mumbled, using his hold on the other's wrist to pull him back. His free hand slid up the older man's chest, quickly undoing buttons as it moved. "You're wearing too many clothes, ya know. Let's take some of them off." The dark button-up fluttered to the ground. Roy smirked and Ed's shirt soon followed it, along with both of their pants. Their underwear disappeared somewhere on the short run to the edge of the water.

"Oh, shit! That's cold!"

"Don't be a baby, Roy. Want me to warm you up?" the blond whispered, running his hands along the older man's hips under the water. He kissed the side of the other's neck, teasing with his tongue and teeth.

"No. I wanna get out."

"It's not that cold. Besides, we've only been in for a couple of minutes."

"Then hurry up and do what you want to so I can get out."

"Killjoy." Edward splashed water on the dark-haired man, soaking him. Under dark bangs, he saw a scowl, then he had a face-full of water. Unfortunately, his mouth had been open. He spit it out, frowned, and splashed again. Roy retaliated in the same way. They splashed each other at the same time, laughing loudly and hitting the water with the heels of their hands in what they thought was the right direction. What with their eyes being closed tight, the water usually went a little to the side of the intended target. "You asked for it!" Suddenly, the onslaught of water stopped and Roy had an armful of blond. They both toppled back into the water.

"The hell was that for?" Roy asked, coughing and sputtering, when he came back up for air. The younger man was already up, laughing and pushing his bangs out of his eyes.

"You were splashing me!"

"You were splashing me, too, dumbass!"

"So we both deserved it." The shorter alchemist pressed up against him under the water, fingers toying with his wet bangs and the other hand on his waist. His lips brushed the older man's ear, breath warm against the cool water. "I wanna make love with you on the beach, under the moonlight, right now."

"And who's the sappy one now?" Roy breathed, hand cupping the back of the other's neck.

"Still you. I'm just playing along." He pushed their hips roughly together, nipping at the ear to keep from making any noise. "Now get your ass out of the water and onto the beach. Before I change my mind." They both knew he wouldn't change his mind, but very well might take his dear sweet time to actually get to it, so Roy decided it was best not to tempt fate. Moments later, Edward's wet back hit the sand, the older alchemist's hands pinning his arms to the ground above his head. There was a knee between his legs and a mouth locked firmly with his own, tongues twisting. A moan rumbled in his throat and he tore his lips away. "C-come on, R-Roy." he panted, rocking his hips against the knee.

"What do you want, Ed?"

"Y-you! N-now!"

"Mm, what do you say?" he whispered, smirking down at the other. The moonlight made him look absolutely stunning, reflecting off his golden hair and automail limbs, sparkling in his lust-ridden eyes. And, from the younger alchemist's position on the ground, the moon was right behind Roy's head, casting his face in shadow, and it was strangely breathtaking.

"P-Please!" His legs opened even wider, begging the older man to take advantage of the position.

"Wrong word." he hissed, biting the blond's neck. His fingers trailed low, toying with tight curls.

"R-Roy!" Edward tried, shivering.

"That a boy." The fingers disappeared, as did the mouth on his neck. He was about to protest, open his eyes and look up and bitch about how wrong that was, when a warm, slick tongue pushed into his entrance and damn. All that came out of his already-open mouth was a shriek, which turned even higher-pitched when that tongue pushed in farther. It died when fingers wrapped around his cock, squeezing and jerking. Panting, he bucked up, heat coiling in his stomach.

"Nn-nngh! St-stop! Aghshitrightthere!" He tossed his head from side to side, breath hitching. "No! Stop! W-want y-you in m-me."

"You sure?" Roy asked, backing up a bit. His hand was still working the blond's cock, thumb brushing lightly, teasingly over the slit.

"Mhm! Wanna come w-with y-you. I-in. Now." the blond demanded, eyes still closed tightly.

"Want me to-"

"No. Slick enough."

"If you say so." He leaned over, positioning himself at his lover's entrance, and Edward wrapped both of his legs around his waist tightly, impatiently. As he pushed in, he kissed the other hard, teeth dragging at the full bottom lip. He didn't remove his mouth, even when he started thrusting. Still, Ed screamed against his mouth. It was muffled, but it still sort of sounded like, 'Oh my god, Roy! Mm, feels so good. DAMNSHITFUCK RIGHTTHERE… oh yeah… feels so… damn… mm, yeah, baby.' The dark-haired man smirked weakly, abandoning the blond's lips. "It's really good to hear… your voice saying my… name. Love the way… it sounds." he panted right in his lover's ear, teasing the younger man's cock before jerking it to match the rhythm of his thrusts.

"Oh! Sh-shit, R-Roy! D-damn, g-gonna- Nngh, yeah right there, fuck- c-come."

"Then come, Ed. For me." The blond under him writhed, tossing his head, fingers digging into the sand. Then he muffled a cry of Roy's name in his lover's neck, toes curling as he shuddered and climaxed. As soon as the other's inner walls tightened around him, Roy tensed, hissing as he toppled over the edge. When he was finished, he pulled out and flopped over beside Edward on his back, panting and staring up at the moon. "Damn."

"Uh-huh." He was silent for a moment. "Ya know, sometimes, I think I wished she was you. Even if I didn't know we'd ever been together. Think it was the only reason I could stand to get in bed with her the few times I did." His head fell to the side, eyes roving up and down the older alchemist's body. "I knew, even if I didn't."

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

A knock on the door startled Mei out of Alphonse's lap. They'd been sitting and talking for a while, but then she'd gotten tired and lay her head over in his lap. Their conversation was whispered after that, most of Al's attention on a book and her half-asleep. She glanced over at him. He shrugged and got up, going for the door with her following not far behind him. Winry stood in the door, looking uncomfortable.

"Winry?"

"Oh, Al. Hi. I, uh, I need to talk to your brother."

"He's, uh…" the younger Elric trailed off, biting his lip and looking back at Mei for help. But the Xingese girl just shook her head and shrugged, telling him she had no clue as to what to say.

"What?"

"He's out."

"Out? This late?"

"Yeah. He and Roy sort of had something to do." Alphonse elaborated, carefully avoiding telling her exactly what they were doing. Even if Roy had not mentioned them having sex- having the three of them see he and Ed going at it was enough; they certainly didn't need to hear about it- they'd both known what the two were going to end up doing. And, judging by the upset look on Winry's face and the tears in her eyes, she knew, too.

"O-okay. Tell him to call me; it's about Nicholas."

"Why don't you come in?"

"No. I can't. I've gotta go." She turned and walked slowly down the steps and turned out onto the sidewalk. When she was sure no one from the house could see her, she took of running, swiping a couple of tears from her cheeks.

Edward: -pokes me- Is she dead?

Roy: No. I think she's just sleeping.

Me: -flails- What the hell? Stop that! Ugh, you two! Go to bed! And no more fucking! I need to sleep so I will be smart tomorrow.

So, what did you guys think of my attempt at cheeserz fic? I shouldn't do it anymore, right? It couldn't be too cheesy, cause then they'd be really OOC, though! T_T Still, I wanna know if you liked it, hated it, or want me to die a firey death at Roy's hands!

Roy: I think I might like that.

Edward: ... I'll get your gloves.

Me: No you won't! Now go to bed! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! =D Ciao!

hugs&kisses~ Madarao