-Chapter 4-

Seth was on top of me when I woke up. I remembered eating, then screaming…then nothing. After the screaming and bullets I only remember blackness.

"Baby, you got shot. Don't move. We are under attack. Parker is in the empty dumpster next to the one we are in. Don't worry, they are both empty. You're okay," Seth whispers. I snuggle deeper into his arms, freezing.

Seth slowly gets off of me, pulling me into his arms, so we are both sitting up.

"Seth…" I struggle out weakly. I want his to hold me tighter. I am so cold, and he is so, so warm. "I-I'm cold."

"Shhh, baby, I know. It'll be okay. I promise, I will not let you die, just stay awake," Seth comforts, holding me tighter. I was content to die before the pain reached me again, but I would not do that to Seth and Parker now. Now I would fight, even when death seems the easiest way. I am among the strong; I will not give up a fight.

"Seth, I'm scared," I whisper weakly, the pain returning. "It hurts so much."

"I know, baby. Just try and stay quiet. I promise, we'll be out soon." I struggle to stop my scream of agony from reaching my lips. Seth kisses my forehead gently. "It's okay to cry."

I cannot stop the flow of pain filled tears now. Believe it or not, being shot hurts. A lot. Not even Seth, who is keeping my anchored to the world at this point, can ease this pain in any way at the moment.

Then there is the water. It is a black void that wraps around me. It threatens to take me. It threatens to forever remove me from this world. And never has losing the fight against that dark water sounded so sweet.

The pain consumes me like a fire, burning my limbs with its intensity. I stare into a deep, dark void. I'm losing, I think allowing my self to fall. Somewhere in the distance I hear a voice calling my name. Seth perhaps, calling me back to him? Or Parker, telling me this is over? Or is it my parents, calling me to join them as a martyr for the country of France?

In the end though it doesn't matter because this is my end.

oOo

"Sam, please, say something!" I hear Seth plead.

"Seth she may be coming back around," Parker says. "Sam, come on."

I whimper. The pain reaches me again and I remember why I wanted to die.

"Parker…" I whimper.

"Shhh, Sam. You're okay," Parker whispers. The last part more to himself than me.

"Baby, you scared us," Seth whispers. "Parker, can I talk to Sam alone?"

Parker nods, leaving.

"Seth, I'm so scared," I whisper. "What's going to happen?"

"I don't know, baby. All I know is that I am not leaving until you are well," Seth says.

"When is Parker leaving?" I ask.

"Tomorrow," Seth whispers. "I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay," I say. "Seth, will you go get him, I need to talk to him alone."

When my door opens again after Seth leaves, it is Parker entering not Seth.

"Why?" is all I have to ask.

"I have to. It is too late for me to change my enlistment date. I have to leave, but I promise I will call as often as possible. I love you, Sam. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone 'kay?"

"'Kay."

Then I watch my brother leave, oblivious to the fact that I will never get to see him the same again. If I even saw him again.

"Sam, are you okay?" Seth asks, wiping the tears from my face.

"Parker is gone," I cry. "Why would he leave me like that?"

"Shhh, baby. Parker didn't want to leave. He left so you could be safe," Seth whispers.

"Seth, please don't leave me," I say desperately.

"I won't," Seth whispers without thinking. How do I know this? I know he will leave, and he just gave me the means to stop him. "Sleep."

And I do. I slide into the warm depths of Seth's arms and sleep.

"Sam, baby, wake up. Parker is leaving," Seth whispers.

"I don't want to see him. He shouldn't leave," I say in spite.

"Well to bad I'm here anyway," Parker says. "I won't cause you too much pain. I just want to say goodbye, and stay out of trouble. Seth, keep her safe. Don't get yourself shot when you do leave."

Then Parker leaves after hugging Seth and I. I still have no words for how I feel about when Parker left. I can't explain it. I felt abandoned. I was scared. I was hurt. I was alone.

Except for Seth. Seth never left me. Seth was faithful and waited for me to be ready to move. Seth let me heal in my own time, from my physical, mental and emotional wounds. Seth knew it would take forever to get the old care free Samantha back, if she ever came back. He knew that she was here for the war, because of the war, and that she could never come back until the war was ended. Seth… no words do him justice. His brown hair, perfectly falling in his eyes. His five inches taller than me. He was well muscled and looked really good.

Okay he was hot.

"Sam, are you okay?" Seth asks. "You seem distant."

"Just thinking," I whisper. "And before you ask, I'm not telling what about."

Seth smiles and I can't help but smile too. My sweet and caring Seth has always been there for me. I'm hoping he always will be.

Seth is like my rock, I think. He keeps me anchored to an ever moving world, an ever shifting reality. Seth is my calm in the storm. Of course, I laugh at the though of calm at all. My entire world is part of this storm. I have yet to find the eye in the hurricane. Of course I have to go through the worst to reach the eye. There is one question circling my muddled thoughts.

How much worse can this get?

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