Chapter Thirty-Four

"You're the one that ran off in the middle of the night." She cut in sharply. From the look on her face once the words were out, she was as surprised to have said that as he was to hear the words.

Castle drew in a quick breath that burned in his lungs as her words registered and he was left to wonder what she meant by that. He couldn't fully grasp what she was saying. He can't have interpreted it correctly. She couldn't have been saying that she'd wanted him to stay.

"What the hell was I supposed to do, Kate? Huh?" he asked quietly, wishing that she would just be straight with him for a change, because he was sick of trying to figure out her motives.

He should have known better. Silence greeted his question as she pulled to a stop and turned her gaze in his direction, "Stay in the damn car, Castle. I'm serious."

His heart was racing, he'd hoped her words would answer his question and now he just felt a sense of loss at the sudden switch back to professionalism. His mind was sucked back again and again to that moment as her tears fell against his bare skin. As she grabbed her handle to step out he had to ask, had to get it out before they lost this moment of honesty, if it wasn't already gone. "Was it guilt?"

Castle watched her freeze just as her door unlatched and she turned to him with confusion clear on her features. "That night, after we," he couldn't finish the sentence; not with the current state they were in, not with the lack of knowledge on how she would take his word choice. He'd say 'made love' and she'd scoff in his face or he'd use a less true but safer and more abrasive term and she'd be upset with him. Instead he let the sentence trail off and watched her expression.

When he knew she was with him, he continued. "You don't cry, Kate, not unless it's something profound or horrible." He kept his eyes on hers for a moment, ensuring that she understood what he was trying to convey. "So, I just thought," he didn't know what he thought. He couldn't put into words the crushing weight those tears had put on him. When he realized he was hiding from her gaze like a coward, he forced himself to meet the curious green depths across the small space between the two seats. "Was it guilt?" he repeated.

He watched as understanding seemed to clear the features of her face, something that made her look far more relaxed than she had in days, maybe weeks. "It wasn't guilt." She said simply, shaking her head subtly. When her mouth opened again, he hoped she'd explain, but instead she said, "I have to go in, Castle."

He couldn't let it go, "What was it?" he pleaded, as if his words might call to her and keep her here just a moment longer so that he could understand. He needed to understand, because nothing seemed to make sense any more.

"It was," she started, but her voice trailed off and he felt that nervous energy again. In the short silence him mind finished the sentence for her over and over. It was… 'a mistake', 'wrong', 'stupid', half a dozen other negative thoughts filtered through before she finally sucked in a slow breath and let it out with one soft word "amazing."

He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath for her answer, but at the word his breath came out in a long slow sigh. The one word spoke volumes to her state of mind in that moment and he couldn't believe that he had so grossly misinterpreted her tears. He hated himself for not simply asking her that night.

Hope soared in him, but he only allowed a small smile to pull across his lip where a huge grin wanted to spread. She seemed to be saying the tears were inspired by their time together, positively, and on some level he couldn't fully grasp that. It became more than clear that's what she meant when she leaned across the middle console and brushed her lips tentatively across his.

He wanted to pull her to him and deepen that kiss more than anything, but she was pulling away and then out the door before it full registered through his shock that she had even kissed him.

Watching out the window, he saw Kate's chin rise just slightly a defiant gesture he knew well and he could practically see that she was rolling her eyes at Ryan and Esposito. The sudden thought of the other two detectives had his blood pressure shooting up. This might have been confusing a few short minutes ago, but that small act on her part had said so much. He hoped it meant what he thought and that this was an indication that she felt they were something more. Not just a physical connection, but something that she wasn't asking to hide from the men they worked with.

He watched Kate fasten the Velcro on her vest and the matching serious expression that covered the three faces of the detectives as they drew their weapons and started towards the house they all hoped would be the location where April Paulson was being kept.

For the first time since arriving, Castle took in the neighborhood and the ramshackle house they were approaching. It was a rundown mess amongst messes. The house was dilapidated, chipping pain, broken windows covered in plywood. On one side of the house was a small apartment complex, with a rusted swing set in the middle of a small paved area. The swings were markedly absent, save for one, but it could hardly be called a swing any more. One short chain beside another with the seat hanging down towards the ground from that longer side. Remnants of a long neglected garden sat yellow and overgrown with weeds on the side nearest the house Beckett and the boys were approaching.

That house, while an eyesore in any neighborhood, barely stood out here. The faded yellow paint was chipped over a dirty white undercoat. There wasn't a window along the front that didn't have boards over it. The distinct pattern of holes and splintered wood from near the door off to one side of the house spoke of a drive by shooting.

Suddenly, Castle wondered how safe he'd be sitting in a police car in a neighborhood like this. He didn't give himself long to think on it as he leaned across her empty seat. He felt something dig into his hip as he stretched to maneuver around the steering wheel, feeling blindly along the far side of the dash. Finally, his fingers brushed the slight indentation and he pushed, hearing the truck latch release.

By the time he rounded the car and pulled out his vest with "WRITER" emblazoned across it, Beckett, Ryan and Esposito had disappeared into the house. Eerie silence seemed to overtake the neighborhood as he pulled the vest on tightly and started to follow their path to the front.

When he reached the door, however, the silence was shatter with shouting from inside.

He could hear them all distinctly, though they seemed to be speaking at the same time. Everything slowed to a snail's pace as the words floated out to him from somewhere beyond the darkened entry of the house.

"Put it down, Fletcher!" Kate shouted.

At almost the same moment Esposito said, "Drop the knife."

Ryan was just a little behind the other two, "Let the girl go."

Castle's heart was racing as he took the two steps back down to the broken walkway and dashed around the back to see if there was another way in. As his feet moved him along the tiny, overgrown yard, Castle wondered what he was doing. He wasn't even armed, but was trying to find a way to sneak in behind whatever was going on. He knew it was stupid, but for some reason, his feet kept moving.

The handle on the back door turned easily and he pushed it open, cringing as it let out a loud creek either from the wood itself or the obviously long neglected hinges.

He approached the sound of their voices and it was a matter of seconds before he stood back and to the side of Hank Fletcher. The sight that greeted him sent his heart skidding in his chest. Fletcher was grasping the small body of April Paulson tightly to his chest, to cover himself from the three detectives that were slowly inching around to fan out wider, obviously in the hopes of getting a clear shot.

Castle could see that he was anchoring the shocked child to him with one arm around her waist, while his other held a menacingly large hunting knife against her small throat. "Stop moving!" he finally shouted back after ignoring the detectives' insistent pleas to put his weapons down. "I'll cut her." He threatened.

Castle felt a sudden and eerily inexplicable sense of calm come over him as Beckett's logic seeped into his mind and he finally found the ever-persistent answer to the motive of April's gym teacher. Rick stepped more fully into the room and said, "You're not going to hurt her."

Fletcher jerked, and for a second Rick thought he may have just sliced along the young girl's throat. Panic welled in that split second before he realized she was still fine and the extreme calm settled back over him. In the wake of that terror, he noted a slight tremor in his hands and knew this calm wouldn't last as the adrenaline took hold.

Focusing all his energy on looking casual, he glanced at Beckett as she spoke to him, her voice tinged with anger and frustration, "I said wait in the car."

Castle shrugged, "Doesn't look all too safe out there." She was glaring at him, but he wasn't letting her get to him. He responded casually, if a little flippant, "Do you have any idea how many drug houses are probably on this block?"

The his surprise, Fletcher was the next to speak, "Three." He said simply, but the look on his face spoke to the point that he didn't realize he was conversing with them. It was like he was in a daze as the events leading here likely weighed on him.

"See, Beckett?" Castle joked, "Safer in here, I bet."

He could tell that Fletcher was getting more nervous by the second and he knew that he would likely reach a point where nothing mattered anymore and that's when things would get ugly. "It's hard isn't it, Hank?" he asked. Castle knew better than to expect a response, but the other man had a confused look on his face that spoke to the fact that he was listening, even if he wasn't responding. "It's hard to keep someone else safe. Believe me, I know. At least she probably wants your help to keep her safe." He elaborated, before gesturing towards Beckett. "She's never happy when I try to do anything to take care of her."

"Yeah." The man's weak voice met Castle's ears and he knew he was being given time to speak.

Tentatively Rick took a small step forward, but the move went unnoticed as he raised his hands in supplication and continued. "That's all you've been doing this whole time. The bullies at school, that's what started it, right?" a tiny nod was all he needed, though the other man in the conversation began to look increasingly agitated.

"It was easiest at school." Castle pointed out, "She was close and you could keep an eye on her, make sure nothing happened." The man was nodding. It was almost imperceptible, but he saw it. "I know how tough that is." He said casually taking another small step.

He just needed Fletcher to turn towards him, just a little and he could see that Ryan would have a clear shot if he needed to take it. "Then something happened at home, didn't it? Something to do with her parent's divorce?"

Castle watched as Fletcher's hold on the knife loosened as he turned his hand. He pulled the knife away from the girl's throat and brushed the back of his hand across her cheek, wiping away the trail of quiet tears. "She was so sad, didn't take long to realize her Mom's new boyfriend was obviously doing something to her. I had to do something; she needed to be free of them."

He heard the conviction in the man's voice, but there had been no indication that the mom was even dating or had any new men in her life. His thoughts drifted to Jacob Henley. "Like Jacob?" he asked softly. He watched Fletcher's expression harden as he repositioned the knife and turned his head back to look at Castle. The action stopped Rick's forward momentum, but the man's body didn't turn with his head.

The distraction gave Esposito a chance to slip further into the room to a position that guaranteed him a shot if the man moved the other direction.

"I brought him with so that she'd have someone to play with," his tone was bitter and angry, "but he turned out to be just like her mom's boyfriend." He spotted Esposito's movement and took a step back towards the wall. "Stop right there!"

Everything happened so quickly. Castle hadn't been in the room more than a couple of minutes, but the change in Fletcher's emotions had been a roller coaster in that short time. What little calm Rick had left, seemed to leave him as the man's scared step back brought the knife into firm contact with the girl's skin. His heart leapt into his throat as he glanced quickly at the detectives.

Beckett was still centered, just inside the door. The boy's flanked her and had drifted several feet from where she stood. Three guns trained on the man, but the risk of trying to take a shot with the way he had April shielding him had been too great. He could tell from the brief glance that Beckett was pissed, Ryan was anxious, Esposito was shaken that his actions caused the man's sudden agitation, but none of them wavered. They were consummate professionals, through and through.

His glance to them had been frantic and quick before his eyes were back on the knife at the girl's throat. It seemed that everything slowed to a crawl as he watched the bead of red work its way down her small fragile neck. He was close, two steps away, but it was too big a risk with the knife where it was. He was stuck as much as they were, waiting for a moment he wasn't sure would come.

Two movements sent the events from slow motion to fast forward and Castle didn't know what happened in those few short seconds. In his peripheral vision he saw Esposito shift just a little as if finally settling into his stance that had been stopped short by Fletcher's outburst. Castle watched the fear flash across Fletcher's face, followed quickly by anger.

Then the second motion sent him moving on instinct. Fletcher reached a shaky hand towards Esposito, pointing his knife at the detective.

Something happened to land him on the floor, Castle was sure of it. However, through the haze of adrenaline fueled by his anger towards the man and fear about the girl, he only knew a few things.

He had moved, a step, maybe two before he felt the recoil against his hand coming into contact with something solid. There was a persistent and sudden ache in his head. Beckett was yelling. He was on the ground with his body hunched protectively over the small girl, when he heard the shots ring out. The concussions were loud in the small living room.

As his senses came back, his heart pounding, mind racing, he finally detected the subtle movement beneath him. He realized his position. Somehow he had grabbed the girl and fallen with her, twisting to land over her in an instinctive attempt to protect her. He felt the ache in his elbows and knees where he had taken the force of their fall together as he cradled her head to keep her from becoming injured and prevent himself from crushing her.

It felt like an eternity before the sound of her sobbing permeated his ears and the shaky rise and fall of the child's chest brushed against him snapping him out of his fog. Instant relief washed over him as he realized she was fine. He noticed that he had been shushing and cooing to the girl, trying to soothe her as he waited for something.

He didn't realize what he was waiting for. He had heard the shots, heard and felt the body fall just behind him. He heard as feet approached and the sound of what was probably a shoe making contact with the knife and then it skidding across the floor away from Fletcher.

Then Kate's voice came through his fog, "Castle?" the question was more than just to get his attention. It was a statement that he was safe to move, as well as a request for information on their condition.

Castle finally moved back from the girl, settling onto his knees and propping himself up on his hands. The first thing he saw was April's wide eyes. Tears pooled and flowed out of her frightened eyes. Her cheeks were rosy. Her whole chin quivered with the emotional impact and left her gasping short frantic breaths that were sure to have her hyperventilating if she didn't calm down.

"Castle!" the tone in Kate's voice this time was wild and panicked, so he braced for some kind of impact from behind as his eyes finally left the girl's face. Red. Deep red was all he saw as his gaze caught on the white polo shirt the girl was wearing. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut as the blood drained out of his face and horror took over every other thought in his body.

He hadn't been fast enough to protect April. Now he was the one who couldn't breathe and he found himself suddenly light headed with the inability to pull in a full breath as panic squeezed at his gut.

He pulled his gaze away from the blood to look up at Beckett who was staring at him with wide eyes. Her expression burned with shock and fear, she looked frantic. He felt the panic rise in him to match hers, because she couldn't be scared or worried, she couldn't panic. He needed her to tell him what to do.

x.x.x

A/N: Sorry this wasn't up last night. I couldn't focus on this with my husband in an uncharacteristically late night mood. He didn't get to bed until 1am (usually 10 at the latest), so I had to put this off for another day. Sorry, I'm not really able to write when there are people awake in the house.

Review that made my day: AllAboutTheSubtext, I love hearing that there are new readers all the time, though I'm sorry that your studying suffered for it.

Also, everyone who said something along the lines of 'Oh, I'm so happy… wait, you're going to do something awful now aren't you?' Those reviews made me laugh out loud, though no one else seemed to appreciate the humor I found in that. Wow, you guys must know me very well, or perhaps my plot has been telegraphed to you somehow along the way.

Thanks to everyone for reading.