-Chapter 6-
Sam, baby,
Is there any way to say I'm sorry? I don't think it can be expressed by words. I'm sorry is no where near enough.
I wish I had never left.
Sam, you are all I think about. I am in Paris and will visit you the first chance I get, when ever I get a night off.
I hear from Parker that you are extremely mad, and feel abandoned. If there is anyway I can help, tell me and I will.
Life is boring here. I remember now why I was with you and Parker rather than my sister. You guys have a very adventurous life. (Though I'm sure you hate to hear that.) I realize that your parents died to keep you away from the war. I realize that things are not good for you guys. I wish I could help. I simply cannot think of any way to help.
Did I mention I miss you?
Baby, I can't put it into words. I need you here with me. I'm bidding my time, though, for when we have a night off. Then I can come see you.
I think I may be in love. Too soon? Possibly. I do anyway. So here goes nothing.
I love you.
When I get back from this war we will be together all the time. Until then we will have to make do. We can preserve.
I love you,
Seth
I read the creased page over again. Love? Is he insane? Yes, yes he is. I know it. Yeah I like him. But love? Not quite.
Maybe you love him, too, that tiny voice in the back of my head says. And I want to say that I agree. I just can't. I'm fifteen. What do I know of love outside of Parker and my parents? Nothing. They just don't seem to get it.
The house shakes as a bomb drops nearby.
"Samantha! Bomb shelter, come on!" Korey yells. "We need to go we are under attack."
I dart down the stairs and out the back door. We rush into the bomb shelter, under the house.
"My letters!" I yell going back to get them. I can't lose the only thing I have to remember Seth and Parker where not dreams as they so often seem.
"Sam you can't!" Korey yells grabbing me by my waist. "I can't let you die!"
I let him pull me to the bomb shelter as tears coat my face. I needed those letters. Those letters held me to the shaking world.
"Sam, you need to let us in. Let us help you," Toni whispered
"You were never part of my pain-filled past. Nor will you be a part of my hopeless future," I respond. I refuse to let her in. Korey may work a way in, Toni will not. Toni will never get a part in my life.
"Sam you have to let some one in. You need help. You can't expect to love like this forever," Korey tries. "Please. Give me a chance."
"You may just get your chance. But not her, She has proven that she cannot be trusted," I say venomously to Korey. "You have yet to prove either. I will give you a chance."
"Fine, be that way. You will always be a brat. Just like Seth, and just like your precious brother!" Toni screeched. My gaze never flinches. Her words do not affect me.
"Toni…" Korey says looking appalled. "Maybe, after we get the All Clear, Sam and I should just bail. You clearly don't want her hear. She needs some one."
Toni's eyes shot daggers at her fiancé. "Are you breaking up with me?"
"Yes." The one word reply coming from Korey's mouth was all the confirmation I needed. He could be trusted.
When we were allowed to leave the shelter, Korey and I packed our belongings and left. I had only a backpack with clothes and two letters held firmly in my hand.
Korey and I headed out without a second look back.
"Where are we going now?" I asked as the car pulled out of the drive.
"We are going to find a hotel to sleep at and then get some sleep," he informs me. I nod. I needed to right Seth back anyway.
Once we checked into the hotel I got a pen and paper to write Seth back.
Dear Seth,
Are you insane? (Don't answer that, I don't want to know.) It is too soon. You have to realize, I know nothing of Love outside of my family. Let me warm up to the thought.
I do feel abandoned. My anger is slowly fading. There is no way to help other than keeping me informed and not forgetting me.
Korey and I have left you sister's house. We can no longer stay there. Your sister was not happy I was there and so Korey chose to leave with me. We are safe, don't worry.
I can't wait to see you either. I miss you, too. And, yes, you mentioned you miss me. A couple times actually.
Seth, you left. You have to focus on surviving. I don't think I would ever forgive you if you died because you were thinking of me.
Seth I lost my parents. I cannot lose you and Parker. You guys are all I have left now. Don't make this too hard for us. You guys know we are strongest together.
Together we have a stringer will to survive. That will is something you need if you ever want to return home. And believe me, you had better return home.
The thing Is, Seth, people naturally form groups. As humans we never work alone. There is always a friend or family involved. People never want to be alone. They want to be with each other. They don't want to feel isolated. They want to be accepted.
Never forget me, Seth. That is all I ask of you.
In lovely anger,
Sam
In lovely anger, why are my letters all signed that way? They should not be. I simply do not know how else to sign it and I cannot just put my name.
Strength in numbers is a common belief for the French. Maybe that is why we are still holding on. We have something to believe in.
France can only hold on for so long though. Without help even the mighty French will fall. How long will we last though?
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