Eh…I'm sorry it took me so long to write this chapter. I guess you could say I had writers block. And the last time I had that I couldn't write for two years. Luckily, that's not the case this time. I've just been busy with a bunch of crap that some people like to call homework. So I promised myself I couldn't write until I finished my one project that I had to do and I finally did it. I just can't look at the mayo clinic site anymore to look up diseases…and on a side note I now hate the ABCs.
I do not own FF7 yadda yadda so on and so forth you fill in the bloody blank.
Anyways, I wanted to mention here that I totally give my good buddy and fellow writer and rockin' review Skavnema credit and kudos for helping me out on getting me motivated to write because I was just sitting staring at my laptop screen, eye twitching, and at a total loss for ideas. And I doubt I could have written this if I hadn't talked to you so much! I just wanna write future chapters…mainly because I keep having really weird dreams…you know you're obsessed when you dream your character meets Gackt. Yes I am a rabid drooling glomping fangirl ignore me alright?
I also want to thank another very good friend of mine for really inspiring me to write this next chapter. I guess I felt like I couldn't do it and I didn't want to screw it up, but you made something in my mind go click recently and I figured out how to do what I wanted to with this chapter. Or at least part of it. So thank you! You know who you are. : )
So again, sorry about the lateness of this chapter. December probably will be the same I just have a lot of stuff going on and I have work to do if I'm gonna go back to school at the end of January. Ehhh…do I hafta::whimpers:: It's a scary place lol. Especially for people like me who are schitzo…and who randomly skip about singing peppy songs. I'm telling ya, ADD man.
Go read the chapter please! And thanks if you read all my rambling, I know I don't shut up. Gomen.
Chapter Twelve-
Bitter air descended upon me and aroused me from my slumber. My body ached from the position I fell asleep in, and my muscles seemed to scream at me for torturing them the day before.
I rubbed my eyes wearily and rolled over. My eyelids were too heavy to lift themselves, so I continued to lay there half asleep. Since my sight was temporarily unavailable, I listened to the sounds of the morning. The noises below that occupied the streets could be heard, almost muted, but still enough to relieve the cold silence. I also detected steady, sharp breathing from a few feet away. It came from a man, and my brows automatically furrowed in wonder.
Who is in my bedroom at this time of the morning? What time is it anyways…?
My eyelids fluttered open lazily, and a fuzzy image came into focus. An image consisting of a blonde man. A blonde man, in my room, shirtless, and lifting weights.
"What are you doing?" I inquired.
"What does it look like?" Cloud responded.
"Looks like you're working out."
"Good job!"
"Okay, let me rephrase my question. What are you doing in my room in the morning, working out? Or rather, why?" My tone was a little snippy. I didn't like waking up to people in my bedroom, and yet I usually did.
"Don't you remember? I stayed to watch you overnight and I got bored so I decided I might as well train." He set down the weights and stepped forwards.
"Don't you sleep…?" I muttered as I looked around, slightly embarrassed to see Cloud without a shirt, and even more embarrassed to feel what I was feeling.
"Where's Mina?" I suddenly demanded.
Cloud tried to open his mouth to speak but closed it again as he stared at the floor. His face held sorrow and empathy, and I knew that yesterday wasn't a nightmare, but reality. My little girl was asleep. Not just cat napping, but in a state of deep sleep.
"So it did happen…" I whispered. I stared down at my lap as I fidgeted with my fingers. "She's under a sleep spell…"
"I'm sorry…" His voice was hushed as though it hurt to say the words. "Tifa is watching over her right now. They um, they all agreed to take turns keeping an eye on her in case…you know."
"In case she wakes up?" I scoffed as my head shot up. "You and I both know that she won't. Not on her own anyways."
"Don't think like that."
"How can I not?! She is innocent! She didn't deserve to even have to see him again, much less see him attack me. He should have just taken me when he had his chance, he had no right to do that to her!"
"Of course he didn't. But do you really think that he feels that way? Do you really think that he believes he has no right? He'll do what he wants to get what he wants." Cloud sunk down in the chair and almost seemed to deflate.
I hung my head. "I don't know what to do."
"Fight."
"What?"
"You heard me. Fight. Don't let him make you give in."
"Easier said then done."
"Maybe. But it doesn't change anything."
"But how?" I fell backwards flat on my back and stared up. "It's not like I can kill him. It's more complicated than that. And it's hard enough fending him off each time he comes for a visit. And my thoughts are scattered…which makes it even harder."
"What thoughts?" This perked Cloud's interest and he sat up, leaning forwards over the edge of his seat.
"Nothing." I replied quickly.
Nothing I need to tell you…
"C'mon it can't be nothing if you mentioned it."
"It's fine really."
I don't want to tell you.
"C'mon!"
"Cloud!"
I don't want to talk of him…or of her. Or of anyone else I've lost.
"Missy!"
"Stop badgering me!"
Because it hurts to remember.
"Maybe you'll feel better!"
"Or maybe I won't!"
And all the screams come flooding back to my memories like piercing howls through thick black.
"Just tell me!"
"No!"
If I tell you, then it's all really real. And I don't want you to think I'm weak, even though I am. Even though I want to give in so badly just to end this strife and suffering and bloodshed. I'd even welcome death to receive freedom, though I know I can't have that sweet release.
"Is it about Sephiroth?"
I sighed and knew he wouldn't shut up until I complied. Why do all the men I know have to be so stubborn!
"It's more than that. Every time I try to search through the questions in my head about Sephiroth and ShinRa and my family I just get even more confused and it raises even more questions than it ever will answers and then I get like this brain glitch and it freezes and it takes minutes before my brain becomes unstuck and then it's mush for the rest of the day!" I breathed deeply to catch my breath after rambling on from one puff of air.
Cloud's face held a look of uncertainty as the information computed in his head. Several seconds later his muscles relaxed and he responded.
"Why don't you try talking to your mom again? You know, using that astral projection thing."
"I suppose…"
I screwed up my face in concentration and tried to remember that ethereal plane where I once spoke with my mother. But this time I saw no breezy white wisps. I just saw Mina's sleeping face. It started to drip with blood and pooled in her eyelids until it seemed to devour her.
I forced my eyes open, panting, with tears streaming down.
"I can't do it!" I whimpered.
"What did you see?" Cloud rushed over to comfort me, but I pushed him away and sprung up to pace the floor.
"Please leave me…I…I-I need to be alone…" I gasped through sobs between each word as I tugged at my strands of hair that fell over my shoulders.
"You know I can't leave you! What did you see?!"
My arm was yanked from behind and I was forced to come face to face with my blonde watcher.
"I-I saw Mina…I saw what Sephiroth could do to her…Oh god…" My legs buckled and I crashed to the floor. "I can't let that happen…"
"Shh…it won't happen. I don't know what you saw but it didn't happen and it won't."
Cloud held onto my arms tightly and tried to look me in the eye. I refused to look up though; I wanted him to leave me to my thoughts. It would allow me to plot if he would. But he wouldn't. He just confuses me by being around.
"Please…just let me be for a few minutes."
"I can't. What if he comes?"
I shook my head violently. "Please!"
"No."
"Cloud…"
"I'm sorry. But that's final."
I stared at the floor, thinking of how to get him out of my room. Even if it was for only a minute, it would be enough for me to clear my mind, or allow me to do something. I don't know, but I do know that something was forcing me to beg for solitude.
Seconds passed, and turned into minutes. My tears had finally stopped flowing and my emotional state had calmed itself.
"Are you alright now?"
"Yeah…I guess…just seeing Mina like that…I know it's because of me."
"It's not because of you! It's because of Sephiroth and don't forget that. He's the one at fault for the way things are not you."
"But if I don't do something…it will be my fault. How am I supposed to kill him?! Or at least get him to stop! He can't be killed and even if he can he just comes back."
Cloud appeared to be lost in thought for a number of seconds. He held that brooding look that I grew quite fond of, even if it had been rare. I know he used to be Mr. Broody-pants all the time, long before I met him, but I found it hard to believe that the Cloud I know and that Cloud from the past are one in the same.
As I thought on that, I remembered that he knew Sephiroth, but I didn't know how. I knew that my lover had killed a woman called Aerith. A woman who was very close to Cloud's heart. I expect that was the seed of his revenge. But I didn't know how they met.
"Cloud? Can I ask you something? Of your past?"
"Shoot."
"How did you meet Sephiroth? You know him almost as well as I do, you even claim to have killed him before. But how do you know him?"
Cloud laughed for a moment, before his face almost looked haunted.
"I used to look up to him. The Ex-General Sephiroth…my role model…"
"What changed?"
"Nibelheim."
My heart skipped a beat at that word. The bloody thorn in my bloody side, as I once heard.
"Nibelheim was where he found out about Jenova. Where he set the town on flames and watched it burn. All the while glad to rid the world of those people. He changed overnight. He was fine on the way up, but once we got there it all went downhill."
"You were there?!"
"Yeah…I suppose you know of Nibelheim." It was rhetorical. He knew the answer.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
He shrugged. "It didn't occur to me."
I never really knew what had happened at that place. I had only been able to guess and wonder what could have set him off like that.
"He was reading books, downstairs in the mansion." Cloud seemed to have read my mind, or possibly my face.
"ShinRa's fault no doubt…doesn't that man have any decency?!"
"Rufus ShinRa isn't that bad." He leaned back against the mattress casually.
"He's got the ShinRa name! How can you say that!?"
"He's not a part of the company anymore. He took his Turks and left. He now acts on his own, no longer responsible for the company. There's rumor he was kicked out, I don't know."
I stared in disbelief at his words. All this time I carried such great hatred for anyone associated with ShinRa. And here was Cloud telling me the president of said company is no longer the head honcho and is converted to being one of the good guys?! Then who is? Who is running ShinRa? Who is trying to get a hold of me?
"Maybe Rufus can help. We could go to him and see if we can get any information on Sephiroth. Something we've overlooked maybe."
"I can't believe you're even suggesting that! What if he is still working for the company? How can I trust him to not turn me in or lock me up?!"
"I told you. He took his Turks and left! They felt sorry after what happened to the world when meteor came, and were trying to find redemption or something. They're trying to make things better. I thought the company had disappeared when that happened, but it looks like it hasn't. I don't know who's in charge, but it's not Rufus, or any of the Turks." Cloud let out a heavy sigh. "I really think it could do some good to go to them."
"No! I won't go there. I know I'm stubborn but I have a bad feeling about it." I looked off to the side, begging my thoughts to carry me somewhere else. "Look, I'm kinda hungry. Think you could get me something to eat? I'm tired of talking about this."
"Yeah. But you'll have to come with me. I'm still not leaving you alone."
I rolled my eyes with defeat and nodded. "Fine."
Suddenly we heard glass break in the living room, and someone screamed in surprise. Cloud rushed ahead first, pulling his shirt on as he passed through the door. I followed after him somewhat sluggishly. Before I could get to the door, however, it shut sharply, as if it was being pulled by a string.
"Hey!" I pounded on the door and pulled on the handle. Nothing. "What is this?!"
"Sorry to slam the door in such a pretty face." That voice slid through my ears and sounded throughout my brain.
"What are you doing here." I demanded coldly.
"I thought you'd be upset."
"UPSET?!" I sprung forwards and pounded on his chest. "UPSET?!?! SEPHIROTH YOU BLOODY ATTACKED MY LITTLE GIRL AND YOU THINK I'M UPSET?!! I'M FREAKIN' PISSED OFF!" Tears leaked out of my eyes once more and I continued my assault on my silver haired man.
He just stood there and took it, only looking slightly annoyed. Finally, he grabbed my wrists, gently, and stopped my beating.
"It wasn't something I had planned on doing. It just happened."
"And you think that makes it ok?! How could you?!" I struggled to be free of him and eventually slumped down to my knees, sobbing harder than before. "Undo it!! Undo it now!"
He remained silent as I halfheartedly continued to pull at my wrists.
"Please…" I whispered.
"I will. If you come with me."
I shot my glace back up. I stared at him for a while before quietly responding.
"Stop giving me the chance to run away." I clenched my teeth as I continued on in a hushed tone. "You may enjoy this game of cat and mouse but I'm tired of fighting you and getting people hurt and killed in the process. I know I can't kill you and I know I can't win this battle, but if you're going to take me just do it and get it over with! Take me already and stop holding back! Either take me back or kill me."
He bent down and held my face. "I couldn't kill you. Even if I wanted to. Even if I had to. I wouldn't be able to. I told you. You're like me."
"Stop saying that!" I threw my head to the side.
"Do you want to know how you're like me?"
"Oh by all means, please enlighten me!" I scoffed sarcastically.
He paused to gather his thoughts. "You don't have the Jenova cells. Even I'm unsure of what you have really." He chuckled and cradled the back of my head. "But whatever it is, it makes you like me. A higher being. You're an immortal just like me. That's why I said I can't kill you. You'd just come back to life. How do you think I'm still walking around today huh? We are a race that can live forever."
"You're prattling on rubbish!"
"I'm not and deep down you know it!"
"Everything dies in due time!"
"Not us. We will always be here."
"Surely the ever powerful 'we' must dissipate at some point. Die of old age perhaps?"
"You stop aging. Haven't you noticed? I look no different then when I was 25."
"There hasn't been enough time to notice a difference."
"I suspect you'll stop before then. You're powers are quickening and coming about faster because you're pureblood. I wouldn't be surprised if you stopped aging in the next year."
I continued to shake my head as if by doing so I would loosen this information that was latching onto my brain.
"So that's why you want me to be your queen."
"No. I want you because I love you. The fact that you are one of us is merely a bonus from fate."
"I don't really think you do love me…not anymore. You're in love with what I am." Just that thought angered me and saying it aloud release such great rage from my heart.
"That's not true. I love everything about you." His fingers slipped through my hair as he brought his face closer to mine. "I love the way your hair flows in the breeze, and how your eyes sparkle when you light up with happiness. How your nose scrunches when you're being childish and how your skin smells of strawberries and tastes sweet." His thin fingers grazed up my arm, barely kissing my skin ever so seductively. "How even in the harshest winter, every inch of you remains soft and delicate to the touch. I love your laugh and the way you tap your temple when you cast a spell. I love it how you watch sad romantic movies and stop it before it takes a turn for the worst, and how you can't remember the lyrics to Amazing Grace to save your life." Every word he spoke became softer and softer until he was speaking in a whisper. It grew so quiet in fact that by this time, he had moved his lips near mine. "There isn't a thing about you I don't love."
Slowly, he leaned in the remaining millimeters to kiss me deeply. It was loving and passionate, and how it used to be. It was the kind that made my world come to a halt and everything was freeze frame.
He breathed against me as he leaned back and reached deep into his worn leathered pocket inside his coat and pulled out a small, red, velvet box.
"Happy birthday."
"You remembered…"
"I never forgot."
I stared at it for several moments before gingerly lifting it from his palm.
"It's just your style. Elegant but simple. I couldn't pass it up."
I opened it up to see a shiny silver ring nestled in the velvet. It had a heart at the center, adorned by a Celtic looking pattern surrounding it along half of the band. It killed me inside, because I absolutely loved it.
"You can't buy my love…" I softly replied. After a momentary pause and a sudden burst of rage, I chucked the box at the wall and sent the ring departing from its case. "Stop playing me!"
"I'm not playing you."
"Yes you are! Don't patronize me!"
He leaned over and picked it off the floor and slid it on my finger.
"Come with me willingly and I will remedy the spell."
I let out a breathy sigh. "Why do you want me to come on my own will? You've had several chances to take me. You almost had me but you let me slip away. Why have you held back? Why do you want me to say I'll come?"
"Because it matters to me. It matters to me that you WANT to be my queen and want to be with me."
Sephiroth leaned in and kissed me gently again and it seemed to melt my heart away and nuke my brain. In that moment all I could feel was his thin pale lips on mine, and his silky mane of silver hair brushing my skin. His fingers traveled up my neck and the kiss became deeper and deeper until I thought I would become lost or absorbed in it.
He pulled back, resting his forehead on mine.
"You promise?" I breathed.
"On my honor." He whispered back. "Will you do it?"
I gulped back the tears that wanted to spring out. Part of me was screaming yes. Yes! I will go with you! Just please undo that spell on Mina! Stop this war and madness…and stop hurting me. I want to be with you more than anything but I have had to restrain myself because I know what the temptation would do. But would it really be so bad? Is what he's planning really that evil? Do these people deserve to live?
But who am I to pass judgment on these poor souls. Surely it is not my job or his! A fish that merely nibbles on the bait because he is hungry can be ensnared by the hook and never go back. There is no catch and release system if I do this. If I go there is no turning back. If I go…it means…that I will kill every single entity on this planet and all the others we can travel to. It means I am condoning it. Even if I do hate those ShinRa SOLDIERS, do I truly have the right to end them? And end the rest of the human kind while I'm at it? Wouldn't that be a lonely life to have no one but us on the planets…unless…
"What would I have to do…? What does the prophecy state?"
He stared into my eyes with his glowing green ones. "We will begin this world anew. And all of the others. We will purify them, and replace the tainted with pure beings."
"Pure?" I was just getting more confused. But then again, my sex drive was working overtime to ignore his advances. "Replace with what? There's only you and me…and you're wannabes."
"There…may…be more. It is uncertain at this time. But together, you and I, we can replace these planets with new beings. Immortal beings."
My eyes widened. "Y-You don't mean…"
He nodded with a slight smirk. "You and I can breed a superior race."
That was it. My eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.
"B-B-B-B-BREED?!" I had trouble refraining myself from throwing up my guts. "You want us to breed?!! WHAT?!" I think I was in a state of shock. I didn't even notice that I had been pulled up to my feet again and had moved several feet over.
"You say that as if it disgusts you." He laughed.
"When you say it like that! My god, BREED? Are you insane? That is the last thing on my mind after what happened to Mina MR. MOM! And did you have to say breed?! That just sounds wrong!" I began pacing and pulling my hair roughly. The only words chanting through my brain were, "Holy shit."
I began to hyperventilate and choke on air as I continued racing through thoughts.
"Shh calm down it doesn't have to happen now." Seph came up from behind me and snuggly wrapped his arms around my ribs, squeezing me against his body. "You are the only one worthy…the only one I would ever want to recreate with." He licked up my neck and playfully bit my ear. As if my eyes weren't bulged enough, there they were, popping out more.
"Seph please! Listen to me don't-"
"No." He growled in my ear, though it wasn't commanding. "Sooner or later you will realize that I'm right. I'm just trying to save you from your mistake."
"What mistake?!"
He squeezed me tighter. "That would spoil my fun if I told you."
"How do you know that I'm going to make a mistake?"
"Because I have seen what is to come. And I will warn you, you have high prices to pay. Very high indeed."
"How do you know!"
"I know a lot of things." He sucked on the back of my neck slowly in between sentences. "Like how I know what's going on down at the ShinRa company. And how Cloud wants to take you to see Rufus. And how there is nothing he can do to stop me or help you. Do you really think that Rufus will be on your side? He was, after all, the president of ShinRa. And if the rumors are true that he was kicked out, what better way to find redemption than by bringing in their number one fugitive."
"Fugitive implies that I did something wrong I did no such thing!" I spat back. I was trying to ignore what he was doing, but it was becoming harder as one hand clawed its way up the front of my thigh.
"You killed innocent men."
"It was self defense."
"And what about Nibelheim?"
"What about it?! You destroyed it."
"Uh uh…after that. After it was rebuilt."
"What about it?" Something at my heart begged me not to probe this subject further, but my brain has never listened to me before.
Even though I couldn't see his face, I could tell he was extremely satisfied. And smirking. He was giving me that proud smirk that annoyed me to no end.
He leaned in to speak in my ear. "Did you know that it was rebuilt twice?" It sounded more like a statement than a question.
I ever so slightly shook my head. "I've never been…how should I know?"
"Oh…but you have."
I furrowed my brow in bewilderment.
"What? No I haven't."
"Oh yes you have." He pulled back and turned me around to face him. "Don't you remember? You killed innocent men there too." He said that word, 'innocent', as if he was mocking me.
"If I did then it was self defense I assure you!" I was getting annoyed. I had never been there in my life.
"But it wasn't. Perhaps that's why you don't remember. It'll come back. In due time."
I stared at him as he slowly stepped backwards towards the window.
"When will I see you next?"
"Whenever you want to." He stood right by the railing. "Will you come?"
I paused. Would I?
"If I do…" I shakily inhaled a deep breath. "If I do, it would have to appear to be a kidnapping."
"Because of Cloud?"
"Because of my friends. I don't want them thinking I am a coward. Not after I'm gone."
"My dear you will never be gone. Merely lost." With a wink and a bow, he jumped up and over the railing and out of sight.
I rushed forwards to catch a glimpse of him just as the door burst open. He had gone, and the spell was broken, allowing access to my room once more.
"Are you alright?" Cloud scrambled to check and make sure I wasn't harmed.
"I'm fine; he just was trying to play me. Change my mind and stuff."
"And this play didn't involve…"
"No. No exchange of bodily fluids I promise." I felt drained after my talk with the great Sephiroth, and noticed myself unconsciously rubbing my neck.
"Oh. Good. Well…" Cloud looked very confused. "Why didn't he drag you out with him? He just left?"
"Yeah. He just stopped by to visit." I scoffed.
Cloud rolled his eyes. "There had to be something else. He's not the drop-by kind."
I let out a heavy sigh and flashed the ring on my finger. "He gave me this."
"H-He proposed?!"
"No! No…it was a gift…it's uh…it's kind of my birthday today."
"Oh! Why didn't you tell us! We could do something! Celebrate! Get a cake and all that." He was grinning from ear to ear like a child on Christmas Eve.
"It's not a huge deal." I strode over to my dresser and removed the ring. "I didn't really want to celebrate…what with all is going on." I hesitated to put it in the drawer, and instead snuck it down my shirt securely hidden while Cloud wasn't looking. I wanted to keep it with me for some reason.
"Still! You should do something."
"You already gave me that necklace." I tugged on it to show him that I still wore it. "That's good enough for me."
"At least let us take you to dinner!"
"I don't know…"
"Ok at least tell me how old you are now!"
I laughed. "I'm 23. You forgot so easily!"
"Well…dates aren't my thing."
I raised an eyebrow as his face soon became flushed.
"I-I mean dates like time and stuff…n-not uh…you know not dates like dating dates."
"Yeahuh. I'm sure."
"Oh come on!"
"Just teasing!" I giggled. "Besides, I'm sure you have great dates all the time. I bet the women can't keep their hands off you!" I continued to laugh. I loved to tease people, especially it seemed, Cloud. "Who's it right now? Tifa?"
Blondie boy was now blushing madly. "No! She's a good friend and that's all."
"Uh huh…and you two, who just happen to be of the opposite sex, are that close to each other yet don't sleep together…hmm…you're not gay right?"
"MISSY!" Now I had pissed him off.
"Sorry! Sorry! I was just kidding! You're not though, right? Cause by your reaction-"
"NO! I am not bloody gay…is there something that makes you think there's something wrong with me?! First you think I'm a eunuch and now this!"
"Aw Cloud I was just teasing. I do that."
"Really? I hadn't noticed." He began to sulk.
"Oh don't pout!"
"I don't pout! I brood."
"Oh that's right…you're Mister Broody Pants." I rocked back and forth on my heals. "So you aren't dating Tifa?"
"No. We did…at one point. But, we realized that after a while we didn't really want to date each other. We just wanted to hang out." He shrugged. "Besides, I think I pissed her off with my brooding over Aerith all the time."
I laughed quietly. "Wow, I didn't think you'd be single. I mean honestly…how do you walk outside without getting glomped?!"
"Oh so you think I'm hot?" It was his turn to tease.
I jutted my jaw forwards. "So what if I do? I also happen to think that Skye is hot, and she's a girl." I stuck out my tongue. "Doesn't mean I have a crush on her! Yeah mister I-have-perfect-six-pack-abs-and-no-chest-hair you do look pretty fine."
"Oh you noticed my abs did you?"
I sighed with a smile. I refused to be defeated at this game that easily.
"You sure you got a good enough look? Cause I worked so hard for you to notice!" He pulled off his shirt again and let it fall to the bed.
"Cloud!" I squealed. "Put your shirt back on jeez! Just cause ya got it doesn't mean you have to flaunt it!"
"Oh?" He laughed and dashed forwards and caught me around my waist. "What about you?" He continued to laugh while he had fun with his little rouse. "You sure do flaunt what you've got!"
I screamed playfully. "Cloud! Stop it!" I squirmed and we swayed side to side. "Let go!"
"Come on I showed you my chest! Your turn!"
I squealed again as I tried to jerk away. "Oh no you don't!" We continued to squirm about, all the while laughing and screaming at our little game.
At one point our feet ended up tripping each others, and Cloud fell back with me on top of him.
Our laughing ceased as I quickly realized what happened and once again my eyes bulged as I realized what was pressing against me.
I shrieked and immediately rolled off and bolted up, dashed to the bathroom and locked the door. I noticed that I didn't hear footsteps behind me, nor did I hear his voice calling out for me to unlock the door.
I sat on the floor against the cabinet below the sink and pulled my knees up to my chest.
I cannot allow myself to become distracted. If I do it will only make things harder when I have to say goodbye. Whether or not I go with Seph I can't stay here forever. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure I want to live either. But…Cloud…
Cloud…please do not make this any harder on me then it already is. It makes me feel bad that you're being so nice and I'm lying to you. Saying everything's okay and that I won't give up. You treat me so differently then anyone else has since Sephiroth's change. You make me…happy.
But I do not deserve to be happy. I know that. So please, I beg you. Do not make this harder on me. It's enough that I have to leave you, but it's even worse that I'm beginning to feel attached to you. Dare I even say close? I'm so very sorry Cloud…please…forgive me.
Ok ::big sigh of relief:: I know I kept you all waiting for a long time, and I'm gonna have to do that again. But I promise to work on it mmkay? Hope everybody has a great Holiday season with whatever it is you do and a happy new year! If I'm lucky I'll post one more before the new year, but with my schedule::laughs:: who knows. It truly is crazy this month. Can someone just shoot me now?
One last thing I wanted to mention, I know that it kinda seems like I'm doing the same thing a lot with Missy talks to Cloud, then Seph, then Cloud again but I promise it'll get all mixed up soon. Ish. And sorry if this chapter seems a bit odd with the flow of emotions, but remember, Missy is…complex…
Missy: …I heard that…
You! When'd you get here! Did ya finish my laundry yet?
Missy: …People…just give her a review so she won't keep me stuck in the same chapter for so long again. Seph and I ran out of card games to play.
Yes because I'm sure that's what you two are playing all day long with the door locked in your bedroom…
Missy: … Seph! I accidentally killed Luna-neko-chan! That's ok right?
You're scary…O.O you weren't kidding huh…OK what she said peoples!! I'm out!