-Chapter 8-
In my mind, everything is okay. In my mind, there is no war, and I still have my parents. In my mind, Parker is not halfway across the country. In my mind, France is the perfect place to be.
My mind deludes me. I have built a world of peace and harmony. I built a world where nothing is wrong.
Ha, if only that were the case.
In the real world, there is war. I have no parents there, and Parker is halfway across the country. In reality, France is the last place anyone wants to be in its sheer lack of harmony and peace.
I like my mind better.
"Sam, are you sure you don't need to talk to someone?" Korey asks from outside my little world.
"Positive," I respond.
"Talk to Seth," he says dropping a letter in my lap. I quickly tear the envelope open.
Sam,
I was right. It was too soon to say I love you. I just needed you to know in case something happens to me. This is a war we are fighting.
Pain is an ever growing thing. I miss you so much it hurts. I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I would fall this hard.
I hope you are okay with Korey. If he hurts you in any way, he will have to answer to me. Then he will regret every minute of it.
How are you holding up, Sam? It seems as though no one has wondered. Neither Parker nor I seemed concerned. Tell me about how you really are, Baby. I want to know.
Good news! I am off next Friday and can go into the city of Paris. You will let me come see you, right?
Sam, I worry about what had happened with you. I think there is something you aren't telling us. I know you can be okay. You just have to keep that will to survive up.
I miss you,
Seth
Oh, Seth. He is so worried about me. And I can see him in a week. I just wish Parker could be there. I really do hope nothing happens.
Now to write Seth back…
Seth,
You know me so well. No one has asked how I am. But that is for later. Korey is fine. Don't worry, and don't even THINK about dying. You can't because I can't lose you.
As for how I am. In my head, there is a world of perfect harmony. There is no war. There is no loss. No one hurts. It's perfect.
Except it's not real, and I can't stay there with you and Parker.
Seth, this war is tearing us apart. I mean, two years ago, we were safe with a family and roof over our heads. Now look at us. You and Parker have had to go off to war simply to support me. I can't live with that.
People are dying every day and I cannot help but think what if it's you or Parker next?
Seth, I'm worried. Wars are supposed to end and the girl gets her family and friends back to her. That is not the case here. What if I lose you or my brother as well?
So in answer to your question, I am not alright. I can't be. My last bit of real family is gone and you expect me to be okay? Then they leave and don't even seem concerned as to how I am holding up? That hurts me, Seth.
But in the end it has to be okay because I am only a fifteen year old girl and there is nothing I can do. I can't fight, I can't be a nurse. I can't DO anything.
That, Seth, is what kills me. I can't lie about my age either, because if I am caught, I would be killed.
Tears will do us no good either. There is no way I can help. I am simply lost. I am alone in this time of war and have no escape. How would you handle that?
I am at a loss. I do not know what to do. Clearly there is no way I can help, so what then shall I do?
Help me, Seth. Meet me on the ruins of the Eiffel tower at seven o'clock Friday.
I miss you too,
Sam
There we go. I finally let out all that pent up emotion. I feel hot tears leak from my eyes as I re-read my letter and do nothing to stop them.
"How is it fair I can see Seth, but not my own brother?" I ask softly.
"It isn't," someone whispers behind me. Someone that isn't Korey.
"Who-" I begin as I turn around. "Parker!" I yell, launching myself into his arms.
"Sam!" Parker says hugging me close.
"I thought you were in Bordeaux," I say, confused.
"Some one leaked the Bordeaux location, so we had to move. We are passing through Paris on our way to Quimper," Parker says. "And I have a night off."
"Parker I missed you! Why do you have to be so far away?" I ask.
He tells me he doesn't know. But I know that he doesn't. In this time of war very few know anything.
"Come on. Let's see what is left of our city."
And so we leave, to remember Paris as it once was. And to see the new damages of war.
Big thanks to Kittycat32 for Beta-ing! Please review!