How Characters Of The Square React To Danielle Chapter 3: This One's For You Dad, an eastenders fanfic

A/N:

Words in BOLD are words I have changed to make them more suitable to Ronnie's feelings and thoughts. Underlined words are the ones which show the most similarity between the lyrics and Ronnie's situation. It would be great if you could listen to the remixed version of the song either as you read, before you read, or after you read as it's the music in this version which portrays the power in Ronnie's voice (Link below). I have to break the song up here to write about how Ronnie is feeling, so it looses the power. That is why I think it would be much better if you heard the song.

TYPE THE FOLLOWING IN TO THE YOUTUBE SEARCH BAR. Then click on the FIRST result you see (has a picture of Kelly on the link):

Kelly Clarkson: Because of You (Jason Nevins Radio)

(sorry for not being able to post a YouTube link, but the fanfic publisher won't let me).

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Ronnie waited patiently as the drums started pumping energy into the backing track.

"Have you had a nice day today dad?" Ronnie approached the head table with a confident stride. Archie grabbed Ronnie's wrist and bought her face inches away from his own.

"Have you been drinking V?" he hissed down at her.

Ronnie pulled her hand out of her father's grip. "Don't touch me"
She gave him a venomous stare. If looks could kill…

Peggy wore a terrified expression, but her worries were son washed away as Archie forced out a reassuring smile.

Ronnie headed back to the front and composed her self.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my love so much misery
I will not hurt the way you did,
I fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

(A/N: Please note lyrics in bold have been changed with intention)

Ronnie would never understand how one human could treat another in the way Archie had treated her, not to mention she was his daughter. He was a pathetic, sour and very bitter man. He wanted to have everyone under his control, and the moment Ronnie had tried to break away, he had destroyed her life.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Since the age 0f 15, Ronnie had shut everyone out of her life. It was the only way she would be safe. If you let people in, if you let them know how you feel, what you're thinking, what you're doing, they have a certain power over you. They know you, and Ronnie had learnt not to let that happen. The moment, she showed someone that she cared, loved, they could potentially take advantage of that fact, and they would hurt her, just like Archie had hurt Ronnie when she had leant on him. If you couldn't trust your own father not to break you, then who could you trust? Independence was the answer. Ronnie needed no one.

Well… there was this one girl, but now she was just a memory.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out

Archie craved the love of his family, and that included Ronnie. But when she refused to give it him, he started to resent Ronnie. He took pride in the fact he was hurting her. Archie could break into Ronnie, he pointed out why her life was such a mess. He wanted her to feel worthless; he wanted to control what she felt.

I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

Ronnie had built her army around her. Only he could temporally break down her guard, but not this time. She wouldn't loose her nerve in front of him ever again.

I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with….

Ronnie had tried to move on. She had become this cold hearted person to protect herself from ever being hurt again. She built herself a life, and accepted that a part of her would always be missing. But this partial being was not what she wanted. She put up an act. She was good at hiding her feelings; she felt protected knowing that no one could ever hurt her again. And then her father had manipulated everyone to see things his way.

Ronnie approached her father slowly, taking each step in time with the rhythm

This was it…..

She pointed at finger straight at Archie and sung with such passion, such raw emotion tears formed in her eyes, but her voice was flawless. Ronnie starred at his beady eyes.

Ronnie reached out her hand and stroked her father's cheek

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep

Archie was never supportive during her pregnancy, and yet he had maintained control over everything

I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me

He pushed his little Veronica to her limits. He pressured her into committing an act she would regret for the rest of her life. He had controlled everything, and Ronnie had failed at protecting the only y person that really mattered.

You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your needs
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Her little girl was all she needed. To complete the missing part of the puzzle that was Veronica Mitchell. The one girl who could defeat the army Ronnie had built up, the one girl who could melt Ronnie's cold exterior.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything

Ronnie had tried to forget, but her father's return was too much. He had told her that Amy was dead, and that brought everything back. How can you forget someone when you think about them every night?

Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in

Ronnie was cold, resentful and bitter. Funny, the same words she once had described her father as…

Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life I can't accept it
Because of you
I am alone

Because of you
Because of you

The track ended as it had began. Ronnie couldn't hold back her tears anymore. Ronnie had just given the entire pub an insight into how she felt about her father. The y knew how she felt, but she didn't care. She stared at her father as an awkward applause could be heard from behind her. She heard whispers around her, and somewhere in the background, she heard Phil laughing. He was the only one who remotely believed Ronnie when she had told everyone how her father was. But eventually, even a part of him got dragged into Archie's act.

"Congratulations Dad!" Ronnie walked away and poured herself another vodka. She was going to need it for when Peggy got hold of her. But at that moment, she didn't care. She wondered what her words were doing to her father. They wouldn't hurt him in the sense that his daughter was so broken. He was a Mitchell, so all he was worried about was being shown up in front of everyone. Ronnie raised her glass as she smiled over to her father who was shooting dirt looks over to her.