Eyes On Me – Chapter 2
That evening, finally feeling rested, Jizabel quietly crept down the hall as Cassian had left him to take a shower. He stopped in front of Mary Weather's bedroom door. He inhaled deeply, and refused to give in to his cowardice thoughts; knocking on the door quickly.
The soft voice called for him to come in; he did so, much to her surprise. She had been kneeling on one of the chairs around her table, flipping through a tarot card spread on her table. She jumped off her chair, her night gown flowing as she did so, "Jizabel!" She bound towards him, stopping just short of him. "How are you feeling? Better?"
"Better." He smiled lightly; he had no intention of sharing the intimate details of his trauma with her, and had preferred to pass it off, most of all in the presence of the young girl. "I'm genuinely sorry about today."
"Don't be silly; that's not your fault." She took his hands in her small ones and pulled him over to her table, seating him opposite her.
"Still; I feel the need to apologize."
"Do you really feel better now?"
"Yes."
She smiled widely, propping her head in her hands on the table, "Ahh that makes me happy." She reached over, touching his hand again, "You looked so sad before!"
"I'm better now."
"Cain said that it will be a while before you'll be completely better."
Jizabel scoffed, "He doesn't have much faith in me."
"Could be but…maybe he's right too; you look like you need time."
He released a sigh, "You're really not instilling that much faith in me either." He pointed out, a slight sign of offense in his tone to impose some guilt on her too.
Mary smiled nervously, "I don't mean it like that." Since the words that came out of her mouth were almost always honest with him he felt something inside his chest melt; he hung his head in shame. "The Jizabel of six months ago, or a year ago, wouldn't come and sit with me, and apologize for something like that… Because you've already changed so much since then I can have plenty of faith in you!"
Jizabel stood up. This was so typical of him; he didn't know what to say or do so he would either sit still and silent, or run away.
Mary took his hand that was still on the table, holding him lightly in place, "I'm sorry too."
"Why are you sorry?" He couldn't look at her, but he didn't walk away either.
"I want to help more but I don't think anyone will let me." She gathered her cards on the table having let go of his hand to let him stay or leave on his own free will. "Maybe I can give you a tarot reading…"
Jizabel smirked, very uncomfortably and slid the deck back to her across the table. "To be honest I think I'll be happy if I never see another tarot card again." He put a hand on her head momentarily. He turned to the door and went to leave, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Jizabel!" She smiled and waved cheerfully.
Riff and Cain lay perfectly still in their bed, fingers entwined tightly together between them. There were only a few times that they could simply lie together after lovemaking, being quiet, enjoying the silence and the other's company; without being interrupted by someone's death, someone's murder, someone's schemes…
Cain moaned softly, lips pulling into a smile, when Riff's long fingers delicately drew patterns into the small of his back. Cain leaned in, kissing Riff's neck and chin before moving up to his lips.
Moments like this had recently increased, and they were still as beautiful and as special as when they were sparse. They now had fewer threats to worry about, and it became easier to block everything out for a short amount of time.
There was a soft knock on the door and the two stiffened, holding their breaths.
"What do you want?" Cain asked, trying to hide the shake in his tone.
"I need to talk to you, Cain!" The girl seemed to sigh on the other side of the door, but she sounded desperate.
Riff immediately rolled out of bed, landing hard onto the ground by the bed where he continued to lay once he heard the bedroom door open. There was a reason he never had that creaking door fixed.
"Cain…" She whined softly, approaching the bed.
"What is it, Mary?" Cain gathered the sheets up to his waist and watched Mary sit at the foot of the bed. He held his breath, and his heart thudded hard in his ribcage.
"Jizabel came to speak to me," She told him, her lips pouting sadly.
"And?"
"He was apologizing for the tea party, he looked like he felt bad about it."
"I'm sure he was; Jizabel has become more sensitive to these things."
"What else has he become sensitive to, I wonder." She sighed, tilting her head to the side in thought.
"What do you mean by that?" Despite the nerve-wrecking situation he had been backed into Cain had to admit he was mildly curious.
"After he left I did a reading for him…"
"Tarot cards? Mary, you can't…"
"I know! I even did two just to make sure…"
"What did they say, Mary?" He sighed. Could she not have thought things through a bit more before she brought things to him at this hour? Although, he didn't think she would have brought it to him at all if she didn't feel like it was something important…
"It's like something bad is still waiting to happen to him."
Cain crawled to the bottom of the bed, careful to hold the sheets, and smiled lightly, "I don't think you should tell him that."
"I came to speak to you, not to him, didn't I?" She argued quickly, shoving him hard in the shoulder.
"We're all putting in an effort to help him, Mary; but no one is putting in a greater effort than Cassian. He won't let anything happen to him so try not to worry."
"Nobody wants to tell me anything about what happened to him, but I know it was bad! I don't want him to keep suffering!"
Cain leaned over, placing a kiss atop of her head, "I know you don't." He drummed his fingers lightly along her back, "You're a good girl; that's why."
She exhaled heavily, clearly not satisfied with that answer. "I'm going to bed." She told him. "Riff, you can come out from under the bed now."
Both men cringed hard, panicked to the point that Cain missed the little smile on Mary's face as well as the giggle that made their faces turn red.
After the door opened and closed, Cain stretched across the bed, looking past the edge of the bed, "Are you okay?"
"I'm mortified." He mumbled, his face burning red.
"You heard her; get back up here." Cain rolled back over onto his side of the bed, patting the empty side of the bed. He chuckled, chewing his lip as he tried to get the red out of his own cheeks. "How does she do it?"
"She's gifted." Riff groaned, his stiff body back onto the bed.
Cain pulled Riff to lie on him, tangling their limbs together, "What are we going to do?"
"What do you want to do?"
Cain smiled against his lover's lips, close enough to touch and tease, but far enough to let Riff take the initiative.
Riff pressed kisses down the column of Cain's neck, smiling lightly as he could inhale the scent of the other. He pulled back, one hand either side of his Master's smaller body, "Is it my turn?" he asked quietly, touching his lips with his own.
Cain took him by the shoulders, rolling them both over. Riff pulled Cain down close, restricting their movements momentarily; for a short while the only movements that were necessary was that of their tongues. They stuck their nails into each other's skin, dragging them along slowly, rolling over in their passion.
Cain pushed hard into Riff; a heavy shudder ran through him. Cain smiled against Riff's lips, just as his heavy breath ghosted over his cheek. The two didn't move for a while; they just shared a long drawn out passionate kiss.
Jizabel tossed around in their bed, exhaling at the lack of comfortable positions possible to lie in. Cassian sat up, sighing, "How much longer are you going to keep doing that?"
Jizabel paused in his movement once he realized the other was awake, or to be more accurate, had been woken by him. He bit his lip as he continued to lay still.
"Don't lie like a corpse either." Cassian chuckled and half lay on him, kissing the back of the other's neck. He lifted himself up a bit, supporting himself on his elbows as he wiped away the long strands of hair from his back. "You're healing very well."
"Really?" His voice was muffled by the pillow but in the curiosity was a little hint of hope.
Cassian nodded, humming, "Didn't you notice?"
Jizabel shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't think about them very much."
Cassian smiled, kissing all the unwounded spots on Jizabel's back, "I'm happy you're healing."
Jizabel rolled over onto his back, taking Cassian's hands with both of his and staring at them. He had fallen so in love with these hands. He had fallen so in love with this person. This person made it so much easier.
Whenever he was to feel pain it could have been for any reason under the sun; he would have tolerated it. Now he learnt that it was best to get something in return for pain endured. For the pain he received with each breath he took, it was all healed by the man that he loved.
The lips before him pulled into a smile and one hand pulled out of his to touch his face, "What's with the tears this time, kid?"
Jizabel let go of the others hands. Why did he always give him these sorts of reactions. He shook his head quickly, pulling the tears back in the process. "Nothing, and don't call me 'kid'."
"What would you prefer I called you then?"
"I have a name." He retorted.
"Jizabel…"
And nobody said that name quite as gently as he did.
"Good morning, Jizabel." Mary Weather bounced into the sitting room. She was surprised Cassian wasn't with him. "Why are you all alone?" She seemed disappointed, coming in closer to where he sat on the windowsill.
"I'm waiting for someone." He looked down at her, analyzing her expression. "You want to ask me something."
"Not really."
"Now is really not the time to stop being honest."
She seated herself on the windowsill, he sat down too, lowering himself closer to her height in the process. "I was wondering if you were thinking…of doing anything."
"Doing anything?" He raised a confused eyebrow. "To what exactly are you referring?"
"Hurting yourself or…killing yourself."
Instead of looking like he had taken offense, Jizabel simply answered back with another question, "Where is all that faith in me from last night?"
"It's not that I don't have faith in you! Promise! It's just that the cards…"
"The cards?" He sighed heavily.
"I was just curious, and I know I probably shouldn't have but…"
"I won't do anything." Looking into her eyes she found them so sad and begging; he remembered a time when he had looked to people like that. At that time, his heart had been ripped out of his chest. "You have my word." But he wouldn't do such a thing to her.
Crehador was standing in the doorway now; how much he had seen or heard, Jizabel nor Mary were sure. "I'll be in the garden." She smiled lightly at Jizabel; even if he had given her his word she felt uneasy, more so now that she saw Crehador standing there. What was Jizabel planning? Why was someone who obviously distrusted Jizabel walking into a room alone with him?
"Thank you for coming."
"It wasn't you who really asked me."
"Nonetheless, Cain didn't exactly lie about who was calling you back here."
"What do you want?"
"To tell you that I'm sorry."
Crehador scoffed, "You don't even know for what!"
"You're right…" Jizabel stood up even if something heavy in his chest held him down. "I only know that the organization took someone important away from you…"
"She has a name!" Crehador lashed out; Jizabel hopped he would calm down before anyone came to check on them. His hands balled into fists by his sides; if Crehador launched himself at Jizabel then he would be fine just taking it.
"What was her name?"
"Sheila." Crehador relaxed a bit when he said her name, perhaps it was simply him honouring her memory in the process.
Jizabel nodded his head. He opened his mouth to speak…
"Don't say anything."
He snapped his mouth shut again.
"Words of apologies don't change anything."
"I know that, and to be honest if I were you I wouldn't want to hear it either."
"Why say anything then?"
"By the impression I get apologizing for what you've done is the right thing to do." He took in the man's posture. "You don't look like you're mad at me anymore."
"Because I'm not."
"It would be wrong of me to ask what changed your mind."
"It would be." Crehador dropped himself abruptly into an armchair. "I'll ask you questions instead." He got comfortable, crossing his arms and crossing his legs. "Why are you still here?"
Jizabel rested his head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling; he actually needed to think about it for a bit. "Why? Because just like you someone who loves me told me that I needed to keep living." He looked over at Crehador, just as he swallowed. "I assume that's why you're still here also. You have more courage than I though."
Crehador remained silent; he kept his arms crossed against his chest. "These nightmares of yours…are all memories, right?" Jizabel nodded; he silently hoped Crehador would tread lightly, even though he knew he didn't deserve it. "I can do something about them if you'll let me."
Jizabel gave it just a moment before he replied, "No thanks." He wasn't actually considering it but he preferred to make it look like he at least gave it some consideration before he refused. "Even assuming I trusted anyone near my mind again I wouldn't do it; I'll live with the things I've done, and I'll win against the things that have been done to me."
Crehador's lips pulled into a smirk as he stood up. He held out a hand to him for a shake; Jizabel eyed it warily for a moment before he took it. Crehador stared at the two joining hands. "You have more courage than I." He turned around to leave but raised his hand a bit in a wave, "I'll see you at the next tea party."
"You have more courage than I." What did he mean by that? Why would he say that?
He watched the man leave, leaning against the window eagerly. Why did he say that to him?
Two strong arms wrapped around his waist, he jumped a bit until he realize who they belonged to. He turned in them, burying his face in his partner's chest, "I'm confused." He admitted.
Cassian pulled him into his chest, petting his hair lightly. He kissed his forehead. You're still just a child on the inside; I don't think anyone expects you to understand what that you've done. "He knows you're a changed person."
Jizabel held tightly onto Cassian's clothing, biting onto his lip until he recomposed himself. He pulled away, though his hand still gripped Cassian's shirt. "I'm going outside."
"Jizabel…"
Jizabel approached, kissing him lightly, "I want some fresh air; and then I'll go to rest." He tucked his hands in the pockets of his coat to keep them from the cold, joining Mary Weather on the grass, sitting back against the tree. "Feeling cold?" He asked her quietly.
"No." She smiled and sat back with him.
Jizabel shrugged out of his coat and placed it on her shoulders, "Cain will kill me if I let you get sick." He whispered.
She laughed softly. She took the coat off her shoulders, placing it on his, before burrowing her small form in under it also. "You don't need to do that."
"Do what?"
"Pass off the things you do out of the good of your heart as something someone else is encouraging you to do."
She looked at him so seriously, he almost began to believe everything she ever said to him. He exhaled deeply and went to change the subject, "So this reading you had; what did it say?"
She smiled nervously, "You shouldn't know!"
A/N: …I wonder if this will be the last of Godchild for a while… I somehow doubt it.
Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!