A/N: Okay I changed the song here as only the chorus was repeated from the previous song. I had some really good ideas for this fic, but I start uni in four days so don't know how much time I'll get for this anymore. I will update, just not as frequently.
Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?
The return journey always seemed quicker. The night air and confiding space of her helmet took Danielle into a world of her own, one where Ronnie wasn't too far away. As Ronnie pulled into a 'Welcome Break', Danielle took careful note of the distance between them and Walford. She sighed; still another 5 miles of tormenting, high speed racing to look forward to, and to top it all, she was on the back of a motorcycle!
"We should be back for about half eight ey?" Ronnie turned to face a very cute looking Danielle as she hastily attempted to flatten her hair. "God I'm sorry, you must be knackered!" As much as the time they'd spent today had been productive, Ronnie felt guilty that her impatience had hastened Danielle onto the back of her motorcycle not long after an exasperating journey into London.
Danielle smiled. "I loved it! I can see what you mean about that thing, it's amazing!" Yes she was a good liar when it came to being polite, although the extent of her untruthfulness was shallow. She had no idea how she would sleep tonight, maybe a dose of caffeine wasn't the best idea. There was so much excitement running through her as all her worries had vanished within these few days. She felt like she'd risen from her position as the outsider in Walford, the reason for her arrival now somewhat in the open.
I believe it's meant to be, darling
I watch when you are sleeping, you belong to me
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
The two walked into the Whimpy restaurant which had been allocated its own space within the classic M1 service-station layout. Once seated, Ronnie was looking towards her left as Danielle to her right. A little blonde girl, the age of about six was pleading with her mother for - what she saw as – a very enticingly wrapped chocolate bar. "You've already had some chocolate today Lucy!" Her mother said assertively, forcefully leading the two out into the typical corridor unique to these large service-stations.
Danielle returned her gaze back to Ronnie. "That was me at her age," she grinned.
Ronnie smiled warmly, almost shifting into her daydream world. She tried to catch a glimpse of the child, but she'd vanished. Her long blonde hair had resembled Danielle's in colour and with the sight of the girl's physical image it would have been easy to have visualized Danielle aged six.
Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling
"Ronnie!" Danielle waved her hand in front of the woman whose attention she had craved for months on end. This particular woman was now resting her head on her tightly closed fist, her elbow balanced on the table. Danielle admired how she was staring hungrily towards the exit, her smile wide for all to see.
Ronnie's eyes glided across the room, only when catching Danielle's waving hand did she hurriedly sit up-right. "Oh, right come on, burgers and a coffee?" She tried her best to compose herself, but Danielle's smile evidently revealed that Ronnie had been caught musing.
Danielle followed closely – the-little-girl-behind-mother scene uncanny in nature - as Ronnie approached the till. 'This is how it is going to be from now on', she thought, sighing. Somehow, all the pain, although uncalled for, seemed worth it. Ronnie did care, she was prepared to wait, to do almost anything to correct her mistakes – even if it was more for her little baby than for the twenty year-old - and for Danielle, that was the key to initiate her forgiveness.
The blissful moment didn't last long; it was one of the most frustrating things about being Danielle Jones: Little memories seemed to evoke a rollercoaster ride within her brain, brought back words of the past. Less than an hour ago, Danielle's mouth had contradicted itself. "I know I need you in my life…" She'd said that, but then, it went against everything she'd promised her father. "Want, not need eh dad?" Danielle's heart fluttered at the thought of her father. She was missing him dearly. The words had seemed so easy to say then, anything to reassure his defensive soul. A phrase, a little lie, did it matter? "The one thing I've realised today, I never regretted having my baby." If Ronnie was so true to her word, it didn't make a difference. Ronnie wouldn't ever hurt her again, not like that, not intentionally… She couldn't!
Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling
"Danielle!" Ronnie placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder.
"Oh, yeah sorry, um… One veggie burger and… a hot chocolate please." She looked down from the overhanging menu and let Ronnie finish the transaction.
Just before Ronnie paid the woman behind the counter, she took a quick glance to her daughter. One look from Ronnie brought that howling brain of Danielle's to a halt. The woman's deep eyes, her gentle, loving smile, Danielle knew she'd never be immune to its heart-melting effects. Everyday it became easier to believe she wouldn't have to fear Ronnie's stares; they weren't intended to bring her down, not anymore. The only problem was convincing Ronnie that the love she conveyed for her baby girl was still deserved 20 years on, that the pitiful deportment and disgusting demeanours were no longer - if not never - deserved.
There it was again. Some sort of nag in Ronnie's head, maternal or not, she didn't want to raise suspicions in front of strangers; Not knowing her daughter very well was not something to be proud of so she quietly whispered to the lady serving them. "Ye sorry can I change mines to a bean burger please?" Smiling politely, Ronnie's change in order went unnoticed by her inattentive daughter who was admiring an elderly couple holding hands in the corner, a gracious smile set upon her little face.
Close your eyes and give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
As the two made their way back to the table, Danielle lifted her hand to her mouth as a heavy yawn manipulated her face. Embarrassed slightly as she saw Ronnie giggle, "Sorry… Been a long day," she smiled.
Ronnie passed Danielle's burger to her. "Can't be very comfortable at the Slater's can it, do you get a good sleep with all that ciaos?" Making general conversation was vital and luckily, the two had plenty to catch up with.
"I'll tell her exactly what I wanna tell her. I don't like salad anyway!"
The younger blonde picked lightly at the lettuce protruding from between the cobs before answering the question. "Yeah well, beggars can't be choosers…" Her hands froze for a second, her words unwisely spoken. Out of everyone, it'd been Ronnie who'd caught Danielle sleeping rough, a shameful time in her life, only emphasizing how pathetic she actually was.
Ronnie noticed Danielle's abrupt inhabitancy, her avoiding eyes indicating discomfort. Desperate to divert the conversation whilst still in disbelief at how her prayers had suddenly been answered; Danielle had come to find her. "So…" She looked around, so much to talk about but nothing specific at mind. "What's with all the veg? Peggy's chicken weren't too bad last week was it?" Ronnie bit into her burger. It was meant to be filled with beans! What muppet had decided to melt cheese over sliced onions? Cheese and onion, gross!
"I'm a vegetarian Ronnie." If it had been anyone else, Danielle would have found her companion's loss of words quite amusing. But this wasn't anyone. All Danielle wanted to do was impress the woman who – for whatever reason – had not wanted her at birth. "Is that a problem?" She asked worriedly.
Ronnie lifted her head in shock, dismissing the fact she had a mouth full of food. "No! Of course not!" It was Danielle's decision; it had nothing to do with Ronnie. The silence had been caused by Ronnie's meditation at yet another concept. It was the first time she'd been confronted with an inescapable difference, the difference between how her Amy would have been brought up with Ronnie and the reality of how she had grown-up with her adoptive parents. It was scary to think that Danielle wouldn't be who she was today if she'd lived with Ronnie, or have been adopted by anyone else for that matter. She'd be different and Ronnie couldn't imagine anyone else being her little girl. From the moment she'd realised who Danielle really was, the void image had been replaced with every detail Danielle's being displayed to Ronnie. This was her perfect baby, for Danielle to be someone else was inconceivable. "So… how long have you been a vegetarian?"
Danielle swallowed hard before opening her mouth. "All my life really." She took careful note of Ronnie's reactions, but the uninformed woman just seemed to be intrigued. "Just the way me and G were brought up. Anyway, the idea of taking life when there's no real need, it seems cruel to me." She felt a chill down her spine at her phrasing. Taking life, it seemed hypercritical after what she'd done. "They're just a bunch of cells…" That's what Ronnie had said. She had to be right; Danielle was convinced that they were nothing more. What did it matter now anyway? It was time to move on. Danielle took a sip of her hot drink and tried to make some light conversation of her own. "According to Stacey, I'm one of the fussiest eaters to have ever roamed the Earth." (A/N: How would this sentence be spoken by Dan and what is grammatically correct? Should the ever go before the to in grammatical terms, even if it is inconsistent with her ordering of words?) She starred smiling at the quizzical, slightly confused expression set to her. "I don't eat eggs or fish either." She explained, knowing that there was thee Kodak moment if there ever was one.
"Oh…" Ronnie recovered quickly. "Well you can explain to Peggy why you didn't touch her banoffee pie can't ya" She gave her daughter a warm smile, touched by Danielle's kind nature, a deep, life-changing quality.
"So what's with the beans?" Danielle indicated by nodding her head towards Ronnie's side of the table. "I don't expect others to comply with my beliefs you know." It was nice to see Ronnie blush for once. She just didn't know what to say.
"Ah yeah…" Ronnie sighed, looking down to the explosions of food before her, onions and crumbs of bread messily spread across the circular table. "I'm always open to new ideas me." Both the girls burst into laughter with Ronnie's unconvincing answer, Danielle quite moved at the extent Ronnie would go to make an impression.
Is this burning an eternal flame?
Talk between the two died down whilst they ate. Danielle tried to distract her mind with the voice of the radio DJ quietly seeping out of hidden speakers.
"This is Heart London playing more music variety. If you'd like to get in touch with the show, let us know what you're doing tonight you can email us from the website, text the studio or use the good ol' blower. Tonight we're talking about the scariest sounds you've ever heard. Michelle listening online emailed in…"
Danielle smiled. These radio stations had no better way to convince you to increment your phone bill. "So, what's the scariest thing you've ever heard?" Danielle wanted to show she could open a conversation, be good company.
"Mmm?" Ronnie finished the last of her coffee and placed all the rubbish into a bag. "oh, dunno really, I…" She stopped abruptly. "Why what's up?"
Danielle's defences rose. She hadn't meant to offend Ronnie, although she couldn't see how with such a random question. "Just something they're asking on the radio," she cleared hurriedly. "Never mind."
Ronnie hadn't heard Danielle's attempts to salvage the conversation. Her mind had wondered elsewhere. 19 years and 8 months to be precise. "It was the day you were born…" She said robotically.
Danielle looked to Ronnie's eyes. Her face was starting to pale and her lip was quivering. "Ronnie?"
"She should have been crying… My baby should have been crying, but it was so quiet." She'd completely zoned out.
"Ronnie!" Danielle wouldn't admit it, but Ronnie was starting to scare her.
Danielle's shaken tone gave Ronnie the strength to escape the tight ropes which so often seized each of her senses one by one until she eventually crashed into the flames of hell, her vivid memories waiting to swallow her whole.
"Sorry…" She took Danielle's hand in her own, wiping away a loose tear. "Sorry, it's ...it's you!" She playfully shook Danielle's hand. "You scared the hell out of me! You weren't crying… Silence, I guess that's the scariest sound I've ever heard…"
Danielle went red. "Sorry…" She said meekly, not really knowing what to say or what she was actually apologizing for. It was more than evident how much Ronnie's baby had meant to her, all Danielle had to do now was convince Ronnie that she was someone who deserved that love, to be proud of. Easier said then done…
Ronnie giggled, a little embarrassed by what must have seemed a much dramatized, cheesy overreaction. "So what about you? What's the scariest sound you've ever heard?"
Danielle looked down to the table. They'd been enough spectacle drama today. "Doesn't matter really…" She cleared her throat, trying her best not to remember. Taking in a shaky breath, Danielle was about to suggest they leave, only repressed by a painfully high-pitched ringing sound belonging to Ronnie's person, almost teasing Danielle of the painfully scary memory she'd just discarded. She'd tried her best to not think about it, but now it was audiable, a continuous ring, the stream of a flat green line before her eyes…
"Sorry that'll be Roxy wondering where we are."
Danielle snapped out of her vision as Ronnie pulled out her phone. At the push of a button, the ringing sound died and Danielle relaxed.
An eternal flame?
"Hello…" Ronnie's face didn't hide her annoyance at the caller's identity. There was a minute of silence as Ronnie listened.
"Oh what? Can they do that? Well I'm sorry Jack I ain't got time for this!" Jack had obviously felt the need to raise his voice at Ronnie's abrupt answer. Danielle could hear his muffled tone through Ronnie's earpiece, but it was impossible to make out any words.
"Well the club can stay closed for a month then can't it! We'll only make a loss with the Lensdown brothers; their prices are through the roof!" There were a few minutes of Ronnie pretending to listen, rolling her eyes occasionally. Playing with Danielle's hand seemed to keep her calm. "Fine! Well I've got better things to do then to barter with suppliers," she said matter-of-factly, looking Danielle in the eye. The call ended unexpectedly. "Ass!" Ronnie muttered under her breathe before smiling at Danielle and stuffing her phone into her jacket, clearly annoyed.
"Um... Everything okay?" Danielle asked warily, worried at Ronnie's sudden change in temperament. She could turn between characters so practicably.
Ronnie grinned reassuringly, her irritation vanishing. "Things are great! You and I just got a month off working at the club! Our supplier's employees have gone on strike and we can't go with anyone else 'coz funnily enough we'd be making a loss to the Vic."
Danielle didn't know what to make of the situation. The clubs finances were nothing to do with her. She pushed a strand of loose hair behind her ears, taking in the unique buzz of such a isolated location. "Right… A month? That's a long strike isn't it? " She looked to Ronnie, bemused about how happy Ronnie seemed about loosing out on a months profit.
"I see it as a month's holiday! Just means we have more time together right?" Working for the club seemed so pointless nowadays, especially since Danielle hadn't officially started. Filling out paperwork, giving out her autograph to random people she would never meet, it just meant less time to spend with her daughter.
"Hey…" Ronnie looked up and nudged Danielle's shoulder. "Gives us more time to practice as well eh?"
(Close your eyes and give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Danielle didn't want to look stupid. She scanned Ronnie's face, racked her brain for any clue as to what Ronnie was talking about. "Practice?"
Ronnie tried to lock away an image of her daughter's stunningly cute face, the way her forehead creased when she was confused…
"Um… I kinda lost a bet with Roxy and now I'm being forced to front the house band." She mimicked quotation marks with her fingers.
Ronnie's brief explanation hadn't seemed to clear anything up for Danielle.
"Basically, she's picking out people from around the square to form a band with, and I've kindly been volunteered by my disturbed sister to act as lead singer." She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.
Danielle looked open mouthed at a relaxed looking Ronnie. This was by far the most un-Ronniest thing Danielle could imagine. "Uh, that's just…"
"Crazy?" She promptly suggested.
Danielle smiled. "Phil seems to think you can sing. I can't wait to hear you!" Roxy forming a band with the square, that was a sight not to miss.
"Uh, well young lady I'm only doing it 'coz you're our violinist!" Ronnie poked her daughter with every word.
This particular young lady chocked on the last of her drink. "What?!" she exclaimed in a high pitched voice. "Sorry, I told you I can't really play properly!" Shaking her head in an attempt to encourage the relegation of such
Ronnie saw the twinkle in the girl's eye. The idea of performing in front of a crowd hadn't caused her timid face to surface. In contrast, Ronnie had caught a fraction of a smile just before Danielle began to play with her now empty cup. "Well I thought the whole idea would blow over, but my dear sister insists on making a fool of me." Ronnie sighed, "she's been rubbing it in my face ever since she conveniently found out that Ricky can 'play' the drums." Ronnie wiped her eyes tiredly. "I don't believe that sister of mine…"
Danielle suddenly clicked her fingers. "Ah! But Ben's your man for the violin…"
Ronnie giggled at Danielle's useless attempts, taking her by the hands and looking into her eyes like she had something serious on her mind. "Sweetheart, I know Roxy better than anyone. If I aint gettin' out of this," she sighed, grinning, "Sorry love, you've got no chance." Ronnie smiled, the odd conversation interrupted by a very large woman who knocked Danielle's shoulder as she stormed by.
Ronnie looked up piercingly to the intrusive rear side, just about to throw her chair back so she could confront the stupid woman who had idiotically not noticed how beautiful daughter had been so inconsiderately disturbed.
Danielle patted Ronnie's hand, not wanting any trouble. The beautiful blonde could be ruthless at the best of times, the less of that side Danielle saw, the better. It was nice to see a Mitchell pounce to Danielle's defence, but Danielle wasn't sure why Ronnie emanated such love towards her. How her opinions of an insignificant, worthless teenager could be so prominently reconditioned was questionable. "She loves me dad." Danielle was sure of it, but what had she done to make Ronnie feel like this? Being the baby a young, juvenile, Ronnie obviously so dearly loved was not enough. She wanted to be loved for who she was right now, although thinking about it, that didn't add up to much… "Hey! I'll make you a deal!" It was time to make this woman proud. This was Danielle Jones, someone who Ronnie would merrily admit to being the beautiful baby she had loved in the most life changing manner. "Me and Ben can go halves on the violin, that way he can build on a backlog of songs he can play for his exam and I'll help you put up a track list for your voice… um well if you want that is." Danielle understood she was no professional, but spending more time in Ronnie's influential presence seemed like the best way forward. Ronnie played a significant part in the dream image Danielle wished the mirror would present her with. Figuring out how to fund her life for the next month with no evening job was an issue she forced herself to ignore for tonight. "Um... although I'm telling you I really ain't that good with music…"
Ronnie wished Danielle wasn't so nervous around her. The heinous thought of Danielle fearing her own mother came with a sickening taste and irregular heart beat for a mother who knew she only had herself to detest.
Ronnie rose from her seat, smiling as Danielle followed. "Dan, between you, me, Roxy and Ricky…" She raised an eyebrow to her daughter who giggled. "You're the best."
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
Danielle listened intently to the sound blasting out of two speakers as her and Ronnie approached the exit of their small motorway shelter. Danielle loved the violin backing, especially since it was included in her catalogue of parts she could play.
Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you
So be gentle…
A/N: Hey guys don't forhet to vote on my poll about Archie. It closes very soon… Thanks for all the positive reviews and aplolgies that this chapter doesn't really go anywhere. I have great plans involovn some familiar faces, just not sure how often I'll be updating!