I do NOT own The Big Valley nor any of the original Big Valley characters. Thanks to my Beta Reader, though all mistakes are my own.

End of the Rainbow

Chapter Seventeen

Patrick lifted, moved and rearranged the crates one of the captains had been kind enough to let him use into the closest thing he could call a "couch". Now Cat and he sat on them and looked over the docks, water and at the ships coming and going. Cat's legs stretched out onto the crates while she rested against his chest with her head on the front of his shoulder. The breeze that was blowing over the water seemed to scoop up the fresh smell and carry it over to where the two sat.

"I feel like a child on Christmas Day," Cat said as she moved her hand up and down Patrick's shoulder, "and I 'ave everythin' me 'eart could desire. Thank you, for what you've given me." She lifted up her head and looked up into Patrick's eyes, saddened to see the pain she saw in them. "I 'ave been selfish, 'aven't I? I never meant to 'urt you. I never wanted that." She held her hand against his cheek. She loved him so much it hurt; it hurt even more to see the emotions he was fighting inside of himself.

Patrick shook his head. "I've been with you long enough to know you don't have a selfish bone in your body, Catraione O'Brian Barnes. I just don't want to let you go. With the advances they've made in medicine, why can't they find something to save you?" He knew she didn't have the answer to that one; he was speaking more out of a true love for her, anger at the fact she was being robbed of her life so young and a thousand other reasons that ran across the stage of his mind.

Cat didn't say anything for a moment as she thought on everything she'd either felt, or observed, upon reaching the Barkley ranch. Maybe, just maybe, she hadn't been selfish but she would be if she didn't tell him the feelings that had been pressing themselves upon her mind, and her heart, ever since she first laid eyes on the Barkley family and their ranch. "I want you to be promisin' me somethin', Mister Barnes." That made him sit straight up, as she never called him Mister Barnes unless it was something very serious. "You can bury me near the river, in the graveyard or wherever you a mind to, but," she ran her hand down the side of his face, which only caused him to turn his face into her palm, "don't be leavin' the Barkleys after I pass on. That is, work for them for at least a year. Promise me that."

Patrick was puzzled. He looked right at her and asked, "Why do you want me to promise such a thing? I only came here for your sake, to bring your horses to the Barkleys, so you could be near the dock and have a river nearby. Why would I want to stay when you are gone?" Why would he want to hang around without her was beyond him.

Cat sighed. "They'll 'elp you 'eal, Patrick. I know it be soundin' crazy, but it's the gospel truth, it 'tis. I can feel it." She then confessed having met Jarrod and Heath before, "I 'ad a good feelin' 'bout 'em at the time, but the moment I stepped me foot onto that ranch, the moment I looked into each of their eyes," she shrugged her shoulders as frustration appeared on her face, "there be 'ealin' there for you. A 'ealin' I can't give you." She laid her head upon the front of his shoulder again. "I know it's not makin' sense to you, it be not makin' sense to me either, but 'tis true. You need 'ealin' Patrick. After a year, you can go anywhere you want, just please," she snuggled up as close as she could get to him, "I just be wantin' what's best for you. That ranch, the Barkleys…" Her voice got soft, so soft he was afraid she might be passing away right there on the docks; she wasn't. She was just being lulled to sleep by the sound of the water, the feel of the breeze and the strength she felt held in the security of his embrace. "It be the best place for you for right now; I feel it, really I do."

Patrick said nothing as he realized she had lost the battle and was sleeping. He hoped no one would get upset if he just sat there and let her sleep against him while he thought upon her request. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't deny the pull he'd felt once the ranch had come into sight. Nor could he, if he wanted to, deny the overwhelming feeling of belonging that had come over him when Heath Barkley had offered him the job. "I'll give it a year," he whispered as he held Cat close to him, praying for as much time as the man upstairs would spare them.

While Patrick and Cat were down at the docks, Victoria and the rest of the Barkleys had gathered in the living room to talk, including Eugene who had just returned from England the day before.

"Is there nothing Dr. Merar can do for her?" Audra looked at her brother, a look of desperation in her eyes.

Eugene rubbed his forehead; he was more frustrated than anything. Sighing, he shook his head. "Life isn't always fair. Dr. Merar says her symptoms point to a fatal blood disease."

"There's got to be something they can do for her!" Heath was upset that his brother had finally found someone who had his heart and soul, only to find out the woman was dying.

Eugene looked at his family, finally confessing what was driving him up a wall. "I had a very good man, an excellent doctor, tell me once that someday I would come across a case that would test my commitment to the medical field. He went on to say that he could promise I would find myself looking at a case I knew in my gut had been misdiagnosed, but I wouldn't be able to prove it. That is, he said I'd not be able to put my finger on it and it would drive me to question my ability and if I should be in the medical field at all."

His confession shocked the family, and they stared at him. "Are you saying you don't agree with Dr. Merar?" Victoria looked at her youngest son closely.

"No, I don't." Eugene threw his hands up in the air and walked to the window and turned around. "If she has what her doctor and Dr. Merar says she does? She'd be tired all the time, not just having cycles of fatigue. She'd also be in a great deal of pain and feeling like her body was extremely hot at night. She's doing none of those things."

"Then why are they convinced she has a fatal blood disease?" Audra asked. She was confused and didn't like it.

"Because she is tiring so easily and has, at times, had to deal with nosebleeds," Eugene answered, frustration again sounded in his voice, "but, it doesn't set right in here." He pointed to his stomach. "My gut is telling me if I could just figure it out I could save her. Scary thing is, if a person is convinced they're dying, they can will themselves to die. I've seen it happen too many times since leaving home."

"Have you tried talking to her?" Victoria couldn't see why he shouldn't.

A scowl came upon Eugene's face. "I tried, but all she'd say is 'Dr. Merar and Dr. Jacobs be 'avin' fifty years of experience between the two of them; they be knowin' what they be talkin' about. 'Tis it not bad enough Patrick and I be 'avin' so little time together, be you wantin' to add to our 'eartache?' " Eugene walked over and sat down on the couch and shook his head. "I'm afraid, unless I can figure it out, she'll die."

"Keeping working at it son, but," Victoria said as she folded her hands together and spoke quietly, but with conviction, "no matter what don't you dare question your ability or where you belong. You're only human. You'll save some and lose some that's true, but never question where you belong. For now, we have got to accept the fact that Cat is dying, there is nothing we can do about it, and," she choked as she fought the pain she felt for her son run through her, "Nick is going to need us more than ever when she crosses over."

"What if he leaves?" Jarrod, not knowing of the promise Patrick had just made to Cat, spoke up from where he stood behind the couch. "Unless we tell him who he is, his grief may not allow him to stay."

No one spoke for a moment as the same thought had crossed all their minds. She wanted to tell him, had since the day he rode up, but she couldn't forget the fact that doing so could very well hurt him. Slowly, again softly, Victoria forced herself to answer. "Then," she stood up knowing she was about to lose the fight with the tears that wanted to come, "we let him go. If he comes back, it was meant to be. If not, we accept it." She turned around and quickly, but graciously, left the room.