When they reached Tacoma, Jonny headed home, and Koz and Hap headed for the clubhouse. Koz grabbed a beer and drank it, while telling the guys they had no luck in finding T, then took a bottle and headed off to his room. Koz took a couple big swigs before opening the letter

Kozik,

I know that even though you're hurt and pissed off, that you understand why I needed to leave. When I was locked up, I used to dream that I would get a crow. That I would settle down and be an old lady. I never wanted anything as much as I wanted that, to belong to someone. To be a part of the club in some way. I guess I got my wish just not how I wanted it. Do you remember when you taught me how to shoot when I got out, before all the little killer training? I do and those are my favorite memories of you, of me, of us. I remember how your arms felt around me as you showed me how to shoot that shot gun. OF how you stood behind me to catch me when it kicked back. I remember lying in your bed when you didn't want a crow eater only me. I miss those days. Before I became the little killer, trained by the Tacoma SAA and Tacoma killer. I would give almost anything to have those days back. I miss riding on the back of your bike with my arms wrapped around you so tight and my face buried in your cut. Becoming who I am or what I am was never in my plans or dreams. I only wanted it to be closer to you, to feel like I could ever be worthy of you. But even once I become that, even once I could do my job better then you or Hap, I didn't get what I wanted.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you lost who you were? I did, and I hate myself for it. I miss the old days. I hate that I am a wanted person, not for who I am, but for what I can do. I remember before I went to Juvie, before I became part of the trinity. I miss being Tay, but I know that I can never go back to that. I lost that girl, that woman, that part of me. I will tell you like I told Hap. This life we live it isn't safe for normal people, but that doesn't mean we want them any less, sometimes I need something to remind me that I am more than just the little killer you guys created. I hate who I am sometimes and a lot of the time I hate you two for it too. I used to love you guys so much, but when I got out of juive everything changed, not just me, but the way you guys treated me, after I became better then both of you, it became a war of who deserved me most, and if you want the honest truth we all deserve each other, because of what we are. We don't deserve to have families, because they get in the way and get used as leverage. We're all fucked up in the head. And it's so true; we are all so far gone in the head that we lost sight of who we are as people, real people.

I know that I don't deserve a normal person that I will never be able to be happy with someone normal but I hoped that he would help me find who I used to be. I realize now that this is who I am. I embraced this life. No one made me become who I am. I did that on my own. I will live with that for the rest of my life. But if things would have been different I want you to know that I would have chosen you. I have wanted you since the first time that I laid eyes on you and I'm not really sure that has changed that much, except for the way you treat me. Anyways Koz, I hope that you figure your shit out, and that nothing falls apart while I'm gone. I'll call you soon

T

Koz slammed his shot. He had kind of forgotten about those memories, not that he forgot the feelings behind them. He forgot how she looked, the smile on her face when he taught her to shoot. When instead of crow eaters he would grab her and drag her into bed with him. Not for sex, but for comfort, something that Koz never really found, until T. Koz hated that he made her who she was, that she hates herself sometimes, and that she feels like she can't ever have a normal life. The truth in that though is T was never really a normal life person. She said it herself, she wanted a crow, and she wanted to belong to the club. No wonder it took her so long to cover the crow outline up. She had almost gotten her dream, but not in the way she wanted. It must have killed her when she covered it up. Koz slammed another shot before he heard the knock on his door. He got up and opened it, Jonny was standing there.

"So her letter didn't kill you huh?" Jonny asked

"No, it did, but it also made me realize that she doesn't really hate me even though she should. This whole disappearing act is about more than just us fighting over her, it's about her finding herself." Koz answered

Jonny shook his head yes, his little cousin had lost herself. She was in between embracing being the little killer and being the hard ass girl she was when she got out of Juvie. It would only be a matter of time before she wouldn't be able to balance the two. Regardless, she would always be the little killer; it would really come down too being like Hap or being like Koz.

Koz could still laugh and joke and feel a whole hell of a lot more than Hap. Koz still felt good emotions just as strong as bad. Hap could feel good emotions but he felt the bad more strongly. Jonny wanted his cousin to be more like Koz, and he hoped that if she ever chose anyone it would be Koz. They were both brought out of their thoughts by Jonny's phone ringing. Jonny looked at the caller ID, it was Clay. He answered and was almost brought to his knees by what he was hearing. Donna had been killed in a drive by, but Jonny didn't believe that. Jonny figured that the Charming President didn't take T's word on what was going on. Opie had the most to gain from becoming a rat, and when they figured that shit out, there would be hell to pay in Charming. Clay was too old school, and him and Tig; they were so fucked up that they would be the death of their club. The only hope for a normal life would be Jax, and Clay wouldn't step down until he could ride anymore. They all knew that. Jonny hung up with Clay after saying he would send some of his guys down to ride for Donna.

Jonny still hadn't called T; he figured it would be best to allow her to call him. Sarah had screamed and cried as she read the letter T left her. Sarah wouldn't let him read it, wouldn't even tell him what it said but she did take comfort from him. Allowed him to calm her down and hold her close. Jonny knew that Sarah thought of T as a mix between a best friend and a sister and losing T for an undetermined amount of time was hard for her.

"I hope that she heads down to Florida and finds love or comfort with one of the sons down there. She needs something that she can't seem to get here. I want her to be happy, to settle down and have kids like us. I remember when I had Junior, T went straight to him and held him close. She cried that day, it was the first time I had seen her cry. She promised him that she would always be there for him. Shit she even took Ana out later that day so I could take a nap with Junior. When they came home I overheard them talking. You know how much Ana looks up to T. She said auntie I want to be just like you when I grow up. The look on T's face was heartbreaking. Do you know what she told her? She said baby, you don't want to be like me. You need to be like your mom or Gemma or Katie. Pick almost any other woman that you have met in this club and be like them, not me. I will do everything in my power so that you don't end up like me. You're too good for that. You belong at the top of the chain and a man to worship you." Sarah told Jonny tears running down her eyes.

"Yeah, Ana asked me about that. She said why she couldn't be like her aunt. It took me a long time to come up with an explanation of her, one that she could understand. Until reading this letter I never really knew how much she hates herself. Now I can give Ana a better explanation, she still asks and swears she wants to be just like her aunt. Now I can tell her that her aunt has done things, bad things and that she wants better for her. That she wants Ana to fall in love and be loved back. She wants her to grow up and have a home and babies. I think T has given up hope on ever becoming an old lady and having a family of her own. She plans on living through us and she's only 22, that's not right Jonny. They ruined her, she was never a normal girl to begin with, but now she's only a shell of the person she used to be." Sarah told her husband, malice leaking from her voice.

Jonny just nodded, their conversation was cut when Junior came running into the room, to think that he was almost three now. Ana walked in, dressed like a mini version of T. Ana was only 11 but she already knew that she wanted to be like T, and Jonny knew that she didn't really want that at least she wouldn't when she realized what being like her entailed. Sarah was right and Jonny knew that he needed to call the Florida charter and have them look out for her. Besides the fact that he was worried, they needed her back to deal with the problems that were coming for the Charming charter and even though he knew she wouldn't want to, she would be back soon. He knew that if a war got started because Clay was an idiot T would come back and kill all of them.

Koz was staring at Jonny as he was replaying the last twenty four hours.

"Hey man you a'ight?" Koz asked Jonny, breaking him from his train of thought by tapping his shoulder.

Jonny nodded his head.

"Round up the guys, Opie's wife was killed last night and we have to get some of them to go down and ride for her." He told Koz.

Koz took a step back, he was in shock. An old lady had been killed? What if that would have been T? Koz would of freaked the hell out and killed a whole shit load of people if it would have been T and she wasn't even is old lady officially. Opie must have been broken, and he would be looking for revenge and fast. Koz nodded any ways and went to go wake the guys up.

Jonny took that moment to make a phone call. He found the number in his contact list and scrolled down. Finding it he hit talk and waited for the other line to pick up.

"Zeke" Jonny heard Zeke's cheerful, yet serious voice answer

"Hey Zeke, its Jonny in Tacoma."

"Hey brother, to what do I owe this call?"

"Well it's more like a who, and it's because I need a favor."

"Well I'm all ears brother; please tell me this is not a pregnant crow eater." Zeke groaned. Zeke knew that his brothers on the east coast had problems; after all he just got a call from Glen the nomad president, telling him about how one of the old ladies in Charming had just got shot down in a drive by.

Jonny laughed

"Man, Sarah would have my dick cut off if I ever did some shit like that. Naw, it's my cousin. You know T, the LK of Tacoma. Well after some pretty big drama came down she bounced and I have a feeling she's headed our way. I just wanted to know if your guys could keep an eye out for her. She should be there tomorrow, and I'm sure that's where she's headed." Jonny told the Florida President.

"Yeah I can have some guys keep a look out for her. I remember T; she's a pretty valuable asset to this club. Why did she run? She don't seem like the running type to me?" Zeke asked.

"It's a long as story and to tell it I would have to start from when she got out of juive going past the time you meet her all the way up to why she left. You sure you got time to hear it?" Jonny asked.

Zeke, knew a little bit about the one they call little killer, he knew she was trained by Koz and Hap, and he also knew that they were both in love with her. He had also heard about the little tat stunt they pulled. Glen had been there at the time and he got to see her in a serious pissed of mood, and Glen said even he wouldn't take her on. Said for someone so small, she was even crazier and heartless then him or any of the other killers out there. Too bad woman can't get patched in.

"How about you just go from the tat stunt?" Zeke suggested.

"Damn, you know about that?" Jonny asked, taking a seat in the office. He needed to have this conversation in private; he didn't want Hap and Koz finding out that he knew where she was headed or where he thought she was headed.

"Yeah, I saw Glen a couple weeks after it happened. You know it's hard to keep secrets from the original 9."

"Yeah well, I would look closer to home if you're worried about someone keeping secrets. Anyways well T has been pushing Koz and Hap even further away after that, telling them that she's not a fucking object and shit. I tried to get them to cool it down but they got it in their heads she's going to be one of their old ladies, shit I bet they would even share her. Charming gots an ATF problem, T went to school for that shit so we sent her down there. I guess that T had been hooking up with this guy who does tattoos and also did a cover up over the crow outline for her. Hap and Koz were fucking pissed she covered it up but it was forced so it's not like she's breaking any rules. Anyways guess when the ATF bitch pulled Hap in there she showed him pictures of T and the dude. Hap was pissed threatened T. Told her that if she wasn't going to be with him or Koz she wasn't going to be with anyone. T had enough and bounced. Didn't tell anyone but I know that she got free passage all the way down there from Leroy and Marcus." Jonny explained to Zeke.

"Wait, how the hell did she pull that off? Talking to Leroy and Marcus?" Zeke asked.

"Oh Glen didn't tell you that? I'm surprised you guys gossip kike old ladies! T went to juive with their little sisters. They all live together and everything so when it comes to them we do whatever we can to make sure they don't get hurt. We might not agree on anything else but we all agree to keep our little sisters safe. Of course there are certain rules and shit but yeah she just called up Marcy and Lonnie and asked them and they did the rest. All T had to do was set up a meeting and ask, for respect issues would be my guess because she wouldn't really have to if she didn't want to." Jonny told him

"Okay well I will have my guys keep an eye out for her. But what did she tell Charming when she meet with the ATF?" Zeke asked

Jonny explained everything that T told him, even though Jonny was pretty sure that Donna's death was due to Clay not listening he left that part out. Zeke put two and two together though, especially since he know knew about the whole thing with the Mayan's and the 9ners. He didn't think it was a 9ner drive by like Clay was saying. Before they hung up Jonny told Zeke

"You know once you find her if you could bring her in and explain what happened and tell her I need her back I would appreciate it. I know you're going to want to test her and shit. She'll do whatever you ask of her pretty much. Unless it's like strip or have sex with someone. She might shoot at you if you ask that." Jonny said with a laugh. Zeke did too.

"I got you bro; yeah I will probably set up a test. I'll send a couple of my guys back with her to help with this problem in Charming. Oh and Jonny, should I be worried about my guys?"

Jonny laughed.

"Come on Zeke, T had you wrapped around her finger the first time you meet her. I can tell you that I hope she does find happiness with one of your guys because she's not getting that from any of my boys up here."

"Yeah, I have a feeling that someone will fall for her. I just hope that she don't wreck him." Zeke said thinking of his vice president and his SAA. Both of them were single and T was their type, plus they could use a girl like her in their fold.

"Thanks again man." Jonny told Zeke before hanging up.

Jonny went to tell his guys about Donna, while on the other side of the world Zeke was calling his guys in to go and keep an eye out for T. He gave them a description of her car and her and told them that if they found her on the beach to make sure she had already been there for an hour or they might get shot.

Zeke's vice president looked to him

"Seriously? She might shoot someone if her beach time gets ruined why are we even worried about this girl anyways? She somebody's old lady? Or a mistress or something?" he asked.

Zeke shook his head.

"Worse, that's T the little killer of Tacoma. Trust me she might not look like much, but I know you have heard the stories of the little killer, that girl is just as twisted as the mother fuckers who trained her. The only way she could be even worse is if she spent too much time with Trager in Charming because that is one sick mother fucker." Zeke told him.

Zeke had to stop his laughter at the look on his guys' faces. Austin came in a handed out a bunch of pieces of paper with a picture of T on them.

"Jonny had his guy send me a picture of her and her car just so that we can be sure. He also said that if you catch her on the beach her tats will give her away. She has 6 happy faces on her right side and huge phoenix on the left." Austin said.

All of the guy's heads whipped to Zeke.

"You have got to be kidding, this girl looks way to nice to be a killer and if she is she obviously isn't as good as the person who she stole the happy faces from. Shit Hap's got like what 30 40 of them?" the SAA asked him.

Zeke just nodded

"I guess we will see what she's made of when we send her on club favor once we find her. Now get the hell out of here, remember she gets an hour of beach time. If you don't follow that and lose your nut that's on you!" Zeke yelled out and started laughing.

Zeke was still laughing when his old lady Ronnie came in. She walked over and sat on his lap

"What's so funny baby?" She asked before picking up the picture. It took her a minute to notice who it was.

"Oh my god, is that Tay? Or I guess T now. The little killer from Tacoma?" Ronnie asked looking closer at the picture. She and Zeke had met her when she was just learning, before she became the little killer completely. Even though she was just starting out Ronnie could tell that she would be a force to be reckoned with.

Zeke nodded kissing her neck.

"Yeah, and I have a feeling that once she's here and gone this club will never be the same. T has a way with the men of this club. All of them either love her like a daughter/sister/best friend, hate her, or want to bang her. Shit for some of them they want all three. Guess Hap and Koz wanted more than to just train her. Jonny said she would have given them anything they wanted until they went all asshole cave man on her ass; Hap threatened her so she left. Everyone knows that threatening a killer is like signing your own death warrant. Jonny said he never saw T so pissed not even when Koz and Hap got her drunk and forced the outline of a crow on her. That time she almost killed Koz Hap and Jonny." Zeke told his wife.

Ronnie's head shot up.

"Forced a crow on her? What the hell is wrong with those west coast boys?"

Zeke just shook his head holding Ronnie closer. Ronnie knew that there was more to this whole thing, she knew that Tay must of left without telling anyone exactly where she was going or the guys wouldn't be out looking for her.

"So who are you betting is going to be the one to fall for her?" Ronnie asked running all the guys threw her head. Right now she was sure that it would be Austin but she knew there would be more than just him.

"I'm going with D and Austin for sure and probably Jay. I'm pretty sure that Jonny is hoping that she will find someone down here to make her happy because shit isn't going to well for her on the west coast." Zeke said

Ronnie nodded.

"I bet you that D falls first and that she falls for him too. Killer to Killer, because if she was a man she would for sure be an SAA" Ronnie said giving Zeke a kiss before getting off his lap. Zeke smacked her ass as she walked away.

"Where you going now woman?" He called after her.

"Shit I got calls to make!" Ronnie yelled out to him.

Zeke shook his head and grumbled, "fucking woman" knowing that Ronnie was going to call Sarah and get the scoop on T.