Here's another chapter of Auto Incorrect. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own Harry Potter. Last I checked, my name was not J.K Rowling, as much as I want it to be.
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Harry P
Congratulations, Hermione. I hope you're happy. Teddy now believes that I'm Lord Goldsmith.
Harry P
*Lord Volcanoes
Hermione G
Sorry, I don't know who you're talking about. :)
Harry P
Yeah, you do know what I'm talking about, Hermione. My bloody phone won't let me type his name. You-know-who.
Hermione G
Oh, you-know-who. Of course I know who he is.
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George W
Is Mum back yet?
Ginny W
Yes, and she's in a bad monogamy.
George W
What? What does that mean?
Ginny W
Sorry, I wrote mooood. My phone does not like that word apparently.
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Tonks
Hey, Hermione, thanks for coming over and helping with Teddy.
Hermione G
My polyester.
Hermione G
Erm, pleasure.
Tonks
Haha, polyester is much better.
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Hermione G
Ronald, exactly what did you eat last night?
Ron W
A hamburger and frowns. Why?
Hermione G
Um, you might want to reread that.
Ron W
Grrr, I meant fries! Why can't we go back to using owls?
Hermione G
The missionary said these are more efficient.
Hermione G
Hmmm, the *Minister.
Ron W
Haha, I take back what I said. I love these phones.
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Ginny W
Hey, I'm making oatmeal. Any of you want any?
Bill W
I'll take some.
Charlie W
I'll definetly take some. I'm starved.
Percy W
No thank you, I already ate someone.
Ginny W
Wow, Percy. Didn't know you were into cannabilism, :)
Percy W
I already ate *something.
Fred W
Don't touch the brown bottle. It's not honey.
Ginny W
Charlie, Bill, what do you guys want in your oatmeal?
Charle W
Just brown sugar for me.
Bill W
Maple syrup and brown silence in mine, please.
Ginny W
Um, what?
Bill W
Sugar. Don't know how that got autocorrected.
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Ron W
You rock my Wurlitzer!
Harry P
What in the world is a Wurlitzer?
Ron W
I don't know. But, this text wasn't meant for you.
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Ginny W
Why did you let me eat so much? I'm stuffed.
Hermione G
Was that meant for me?
Ginny W
No. It was supposed to go to Harry.
Hermione G
Oh. What did you eat?
Ginny W
Oh, just about ten pounds of arabs.
Hermione G
Arabs? Are you trying to be funny?
Ginny W
Shot. I meant crabs.
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Seamus F
Hey Dean. How are you doing?
Dean T
I'm good. Haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing?
Seamus F
I'm good too. Making sure you're wet.
Dean T
Nope, I'm dry right now. What kind of question is that?
Seamus F
Sorry. Making sure you're okay, not wet.
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Hermione G
Blaise Zabini just asked me out. What do I say?
Ginny W
Are you mental? He's bloody gorgeous. Tell him yes!
Hermione G
I don't know if I want to eat him, though.
Ginny W
Eating him would be kind of harsh wouldn't it?
Hermione G
Oh, Merlin's balls. You know what I meant.
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Ron W
I broke up with Lavendar.
Harry P
About time you did that.
Ron W
Yeah, I got really fed up with her immaturity and flipped Pittsburgh on her.
Harry P
Um... congratulations?
Ron W
Oh geez, I flipped out on her. Not Pittsburgh.
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Hermione G
Can you please tell Ron that I'm not interested in dating him? He doesn't seem to be getting the hint.
Ginny W
Hello, I'm his little sister. He never listens to me.
Hermione G
Can you just try? He has such an ovenware with me, it can't be healthy.
Ginny W
What are you talking about? Ovenware?
Hermione G
Um, obsession.
Ginny W
Haha. Alright, I'll talk to him about his ovenware.
Hermione G
Thanks, Ginny
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Ron W
George, I'm going to give you a black guy!
George W
Hmm, what have I done to deserve that?
Ron W
You turned my room PINK!
George W
I still don't see why you're going to give me a black guy.
Ron W
A black EYE!
George W
Oh, I see. Well, you'll have to find me first.
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Ron W
Hey, Gin, can I ask you something?
Ginny W
I'm trying to eat my intestines in peace! Leave me alone!
Ron W
...Ok? Why are you eating your intestines?
Ginny W
Ugh, I hate this stupid phone. I'm gonna flush it down the toilet.
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All autocorrects came from damn you autocorrect . com