Last chapter of this story. If you enjoyed it, check out my other autocorrect stories, Text Mistakes and Text Messages.
0000
Harry P
Are you awkward?
Ron W
What?
Harry P
Are you Rawls?
Ron W
Speak English, please. I can't understand you.
Harry P
Duck! Are you awake?
Ron W
Well, obviously I am, Harry.
0000
Ginny W
Someone's at my door, Hermione.
Hermione G
...why are you telling me?
Ginny W
Well, just in case it's a Death Eater come to kill me, you'll know what happened.
Hermione G
Are you watching another horror movie?
Ginny W
... No.
Hermione G
Go answer the door. All the Death Eaters have been captured, remember? They're hardly about to break out of Azkaban just to kill you.
Ginny W
They could. Sirius did it.
Hermione G
Sirius is the exception, not the rule. Now go answer the door, it could be your parents for all you know.
Ginny W
Fine. I'll go answer it, but if I turn up dead, you're to blame.
Hermione G
So, who was it?
Hermione G
Ginny?
Hermione G
Are you there?
Ginny W
Yeah, sorry. It was a wizard trying to sell me intestines.
Hermione G
...I see. I hope you didn't buy any.
Ginny W
He was selling insurance, not intestines. I don't know why you were so scared, Hermione. I told you that the Death Eaters are either dead or in Azkaban.
Hermione G
You... I... I give up.
0000
Lavendar B
You ready for the weekend?
Parvati P
Definetly! Let's get circumsized!
Lavendar B
Uh, what?
Parvati P
OMG, I wrote craaaazy, not circumsized!
Lavendar B
Haha, sure, Parvati. Let's go get 'circumsized'.
0000
Ron W
Hermione, I don't know how to tell you this...
Hermione G
Well, usually you use words when you tell someone something. Why don't you start with that?
Ron W
I've been talking to Mum, and she's all for me, you, and Harry living together.
Hermione G
I'm sensing a but in there.
Ron W
Well, she thinks you and I have too many unresolved odors.
Hermione G
Excuse me?
Ron W
Issues! Issues, issues, issues! Sorry, I am not trying to imply that you stink. Why on earth must we use these phones?
0000
Harry P
I've been thinking. I want to eat my felons with you.
Ginny W
You want to what?
Harry P
Oh my god, that was supposed to say I want to speak about my feeling with you.
Ginny W
And what feelings are those, exactly? Better think carefully, Potter.
0000
Molly W
Are you busy, Charlie?
Charlie W
No, Mum, what do you need?
Molly W
I have to go to Diagon Alley. Can you chop up some rosemary and rhyme?
Charlie W
Sure, Mum. I don't know what you mean by 'rhyme' though.
Molly W
I can't wait until the Minister decides to use owls again. I meant thyme.
0000
Oliver W
Hey, Perce. Have you eaten yet?
Percy W
No, I haven't.
Oliver W
Come on, then. I'll buy you lung.
Percy W
No thank you.
Oliver W
Omg, I'm gonna kill this stupid phone. I meant lunch.
0000
Hermione G
Please stop setting me up on dates! I can get a guy on my own!
Ginny W
Oh boy. What happened now?
Hermione G
My 'date' was so full of himself, I was tempted to just give him a mirror and ask if he'd like to be alone with it.
Ginny W
Why didn't you if he was so bad?
Hermione G
I was about to, but then he said that he could see why I was considered uneatable, so I hexed him instead.
Ginny W
Um, uneatable?
Hermione G
Clearly, I meant uneatable.
Ginny W
Still not understanding you, Hermione.
Hermione G
...I give up. I'm gonna stop texting on this piece of ship phone.
0000
Harry P
Heard you had a bad date.
Hermione G
I don't want to talk about it.
Harry P
Well, I just wanted to let you know that you ate the smartest witch I know.
Hermione G
Exactly who is this smartest witch that I supposedly ate?
Harry P
Oh, that's awkward. I meant you are the smartest witch.
Hermione G
Uh-huh. Thanks for trying anyways.