Optimus Prime

Author's Foreword:

... we tried resolving the issue of who gets whom but only found ourselves in only more ... um ... desire to do them ... (the other way too). I got a few ideas ready more or less, kinda jotted them down and planned out a few but I never really got down to writing them because it wouldn't be fair to C.M.D. since, again, she wanted to do some of the characters. At some point we finally came up with the solution ... Russian Roulette ... except two problems: we were on msn and I forgot my guns back in Russia ...

"Well Prime, I hope that teaches ya, dealing with Blackarachnia."

"Ratchet, I cannot give up on her!"

"Prime! Every time you cross her, you end up getting your aft served!"

"She left the antidote for Prowl and Bumblebee!"

"Optimus, I ain't saying there is no hope for her even if she is a Decepticon …"

"I abandoned her!"

"And you think she will forgive you for that?" Ratchet turned to his table and began mixing random fluids and chemicals together.

With a grunt, the firetruck looked away and stared at one of the medbot's many tools on one of the shelves. He wanted to make it right, he wanted to fix this whole slagging situation so bad but he couldn't; he didn't know how.

"Listen Optimus. What Elita One has become is due to a severe trauma. She trusted you …"

"Yes, she trusted me. I should have stopped Sentinel in the tracks."

"Are you gonna beat yourself up for EVERY bad thing happening, Prime? Huh? Some things are just beyond our control, no matter what you do."

"But I WAS in control! I was the Senior Cadet! I had authority over them! I could have ordered them to go back!"

"And Sentinel could have kept his mouth shut FOR ONCE. And Elita One could have refused too …"

"Ratchet, you …"

"See how easy it is to assign blame? Sentinel never cared for your authority! He should have! He fragging nearly put Bumblebee in prison and is still chasing Wasp!"

"Th-that's beyond the point! I …"

"Prime, you can't take all the pain in the world on yourself! Granted, it is a noble wish but that road leads to destroying yourself! We all have made mistakes that haunt us to this day. We all could have done something differently to completely avoid that happening but …"

"I should have gone back for her!"

Ratchet sprung from his chair and jumped into Optimus Prime's face.

"ARE WE STILL DOING THIS?"

The two stared at one another for a few astroseconds.

"It-it's just," with a sigh Optimus brushed his hand across his faceplates, "it just gets … hard."

Ratchet sighed as he took a step back. Suddenly, with a corner of his optic sensor he noticed something shine on the leader's hand. Taking a closer look, the CMO's optics widened as he thought that he figured out why Optimus was behaving this way.

"Prime," he slowly said, "there is a lot more to this than you say, isn't there?"

"Wh-what? What do you mean?" the mech said every word separately.

"You and Elita One, you two didn't …" Ratchet began the sentence with a cautiously curious look, as he brought his hands closer together, about to make a crude hand gesture.

"Ratchet, please, let's not do this," the Autobot said with a wavering voice.

"Oh! Prime! Holy slagging Primus and Cybertron!"

"Let's just drop it, all right?" Optimus was trying to get through the sentence with as straight of a face as possible.

"All right," Ratchet said after a long awkward pause, raising his hands, "all right, you are right. Let's drop it …"

"Th-thank you."

"… for now. And don't give me that look! As your acting Chief Medical Officer I will set up a number of appointments for counseling and we will keep doing this until you are ready to talk about it."

"B-bu…"

"Optimus, I am not going to pry information out of you but if you keep bottling all this up, and never get it off your chest plate, it will eventually destroy you."

"Ratchet …"

"So, until we discuss it, until we are finished discussing it, we will be doing this."

"I see."

"Yeah. Oh look! Your medicine is done!"

"My what now?"

"Your medicine." The medbot poured a very viscous fluid from a metal container to a huge plastic one, to which he then handed it to his leader. "Before recharge just spread this over the areas that hurt." Ratchet said as both walked towards the door.

"Eh, all right. This will make it go away?" Optimus asked opening the door.

"Well, Prime, it may take a while and it may hurt a lot at first, and it may take a few stellar cycles but in the end it should definitely make it all go away eventually. That's mutated techno-organic herpes for ya."

"OPTIMUS HAS WHAT?" a girly voice echoed all over the Autobot base.

"Hey, Prowl, Bulkhead, what are herpes?"

"Bumblebee, I am afraid that we would really not want to know this."

"Hey, guys? Aren't herpes those mythical Earth creatures with bodies of both Earth female and bird?"

"Oops, sorry Prime."

Author's Notes:

There you have it! One more chapter in this series completed! Oh, just wondering, did you ever laugh out your organs? You didn't? Keep reading and you will, I do not guarantee it! Swindle does ...

Please, go read the rest on C.M.D.'s profile, I am not begging you because you should do it regardless! I do NOT have the complete series! Stop being so lazy! Why are you so lazy? You want to make me cry? FINE! I am crying! See?

Thanks to C.M.D. for graciously editing and reviewing.