Jazz

Author's Foreword:

...but the idea of Fate and Destiny deciding it for us stuck. I tried looking for some sites that would allow that but I didn't find anything because, well, there was nothing. AND SO ... we decided to wait until we meet up next time. We waited ... and wrote fanfiction ... and laughed our asses off ... and I cried a little bit because C.M.D. wrote some awesome angst. I don't get why a lot of people do not like angst! Without angst, you got no story! Without a problem, you have no plot, no evolution of characters! Just like without the cheese, you can't have a good pizza. In any case, we waited ...

"Oh! Hey Jazz! Nice to see you here!"

"Wutup Bumblebee? Maaaan, I am diggin' this planet!"

"Really! Great! What have you seen so far?"

"Bulkhead and Sari were kind 'nuff to show me a round a bit and I like what I am seeing. Oh yeah!"

"Did they show you video games?"

"Video games?"

"Great slagging All-Spark! You don't know? Well allow me, your humble servant, to give you a formal introduction!"

"Crazy!"

In the millions of stellarcycles of medical practice, Ratchet witnessed a lot of things, healed a lot of wounds and cured thousands of malignancies; but now, staring at Jazz in the medbay, he didn't know how to react.

"Docbot! I am sorry man! I tried using my health potions but all I had was a gold coin and it didn't do anything!"

"Um …"

"Then I tried gettin' mushrooms to get bigger to defeat Zorc and get my loot back but Diablo got in the way! Crazy!"

Ratchet was at a lost as what to do, processor still trying to understand the situation. What the slag was wrong with him? Had someone tampered with his personality programming and circuits?

"I wanted to cast Cone of Cold but I was all out of mana! Can you imagine that? And then I ran out of stamina so I couldn't capture him because I ran out of pokeballs! And I needed to construct additional pylons! Crazy!"

"Yes. Crazy."

"So docbot, you got any Broc Flower? I need to make some Healing Powder!"

"Kid, I think you are gonna need a lot more than flowers to fix you," Ratchet finally figured it out. Yes, he dealt with something similar before, twice with Bumblebee.

"Which is why I am making the Healing Powder!"

Ratchet really hated doing this the third time but he had no choice. He had to do something he hated equally as much as apologizing. He had to role play.

"Kid, you can't see it but, um, Diablo cast a spell on you."

"Um, Diablo can't cast spells docbot."

"That's what he wants you to think."

"Say what? Crazy!"

"Yeah," Ratchet said, looking at Jazz, "crazy."

"So what kind of a spell is it?"

"Eh, I dunno kid. This is a new one to me. I will have to examine it more closely. Lie down on the berth, this may take a while."

"Are you sure it is safe?"

"Wha?"

"Sure we may be in camp and we got all the guards but what if there is a raid? The Horde is still out there!"

"Relax kid, nobody is gonna attack us, we got Ultra Magnus. Besides, the faster you get on that berth, the faster I will examine you, cure you, then get you out of here so you can continue your noble quest." The last two words Ratchet had to push out with all his willpower.

"Hm, all righ'! You gonna need any payment docbot?"

"No, free of charge. Just lie down quick!" Ratchet was beginning to pray for this to end. Sometimes the CMO was wondering whether the Great War was something the All Spark had him go through, a prequel, to somehow prepare him for the horrors he had to face here on Earth.

"Where the slag is the slagging reset function?" The medbot wanted this to be over as quickly as possible.

"Hey, docbot, anything I can …"

"Hey kid." Ratchet suddenly got an idea which, if it worked, would be just plain out nice. "I just noticed, the spell grows in strength the more you," the CMO paused quickly overlooking the details and then continued, "The spell grows stronger the more you communicate with other people. Try to be quiet; I do not want to tempt fate to see how powerful it can get. Understand?"

"Craaaaaaazy," Jazz thought to himself as he nodded, " craaaaaaazy."

Greatly relieved that the ninjabot was finally silent and that he no longer had to keep up with the whole role playing thing, Ratchet returned to his task

"Ah! There it is! The memory reset! All right, let's just set it back a little while ago aaaannnnndddd … wait …. What the slag?"

The CMO looked at all the memory backups only to discover that they were named either "quicksave" or something along the lines of "TheCutePikaJazz_001". With a shiver crawling up his spinal struts, Ratchet checked again and again, with every second feeling the coolant liquid slowly make its way up to his optic sensors.

"Um, kid, for how long have you been, um, questing?"

"Hm, lemme think. About 34 cycles."

"THIRTY FOUR CYCLES? BY THE ALL-SPARK! WHY THE SLAG DID YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES FOR THAT LONG?" Ratchet felt like he was about to explode, he was already tipping on the edge.

"Hey, docbot."

"WHAT?"

"BAZINGA!" Jazz yelled out, just as Ratchet heard Bumblebee begin laughing his aft off in the hall. Then the ninjabot sprang from the berth, and together with the minibot, cheesed it down the hall, running past Bulkhead.

"Hey Ratchet, what was that all about?"

For a few moments the CMO kept standing there with his optics twitching like mad. Then he walked to one of his counters, entered the lock combination and took out the Magnus Hammer. It seemed as if the clouds had covered the sun, casting a malevolent shadow over the medic; making his eyes glow evil red for a second as he said :

"PvP hunt, it's newb season."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Ahahahaha! That was hilarious!"

"Oh man, I should definitely prank people more now. You don't think we went a little too far with it, do ya?"

"No, don't be ridiculous, it's Ratchet! He loves pranks! Wait, why did it suddenly get darker?," Bumblebee asked as a huge shadow came over the two Autobots. Looking back they saw a figure standing silhouetted against the sun, with glowing, narrowed eyes and holding the Magnus Hammer.

"My hammer -it has unlimited ammo, newbs."

"Meep."

P.S. Bulkhead soiled himself … twice …

Author's Notes:

What was that? YET ANOTHER appointment? My, yes indeed, silly old chaps! Quite indeed! If you have any complaints, go talk to Swindle, he gives out free baby Ick-Yaks ... well ... throws them in your face and they eat out your optics ... but they are cute and cuddly on the other hand!

C.M.D. has the rest, make sure you read her part of the series or you will get baby Ick-Yaks in your mail.

Thank you C.M.D., very much, for editing and reviewing.