AN: so I didn't want to get all carried away with the death, the funeral and the will drama but I guess I kinda did. It does seem important though because maybe we are watching T grow in a new way… hell I don't know but heres the new chapter. I find that writing after I get off of my over nights seems to turn out better than most of the time. Anyways… Let me know what you think!
Jonny dressed in black, the worry lines were etched upon his face making him look closer to his age than usual. T had denied his offer to fly down for the funeral; in fact she had denied any help he offered her. Jonny knew that she hadn't yet learned of the new outcome her father had put in place for her before his death days earlier. Jonny was at least grateful for the fact that he would miss that shit storm even though he knew that the after effects would follow her home whenever she reached Tacoma again. He was sure that the aftermath of learning she wasn't to be in charge of the farm, her father's death and her own guilt would put her in a position of slightly crazy… well crazier than she normally was. Jonny worried deeply that she wouldn't find a way out of the darkness he knew she was slowly creeping into. Their daily phone calls and text messages were enough for him to realize that she was close to the deep end of the darkness pool. A place he expected Happy was quickly approaching as well. The pair of them were more connected than even Jonny and Sarah, something Jonny didn't think would ever be possible. T and Hap were just two people that God had destined to be together, even if they didn't want to believe it or believe in God.
Jonny paced the floor, quietly and quickly waiting for the rest of his family to wake up but mostly waiting for word from T. Their conversation the night before left him with more answers than he thought he would ever receive about her recent behavior. Her staying in Carolina and watching her dad, even against his wishes was just as much about her as it had been about him. She felt that she deserved to watch that, that it was her punishment for being worse than sin, worse than most people on this earth at least in her eyes. It killed Jonny to know that she always felt the need to carry the weight of the world upon her shoulders when so many people stood besides her willing to help. She wouldn't never truly understand the amount of people who loved her, respected her and were more than willing to help her. She was the type that never asked for help and hadn't asked for help in any way since her mom died… Jonny knew that he would always feel partly responsible for some of the guilt she shouldered, he had allowed her to become the LK but Jonny was never the one to tell her no. No man in her life had ever really told her no. It just wasn't that way with her and Jonny noticed that his daughter was carrying the same trait. It almost was like being compelled, when you looked at T or Ana you saw something that made you just want to do whatever to keep the smile on their face. In T's case it probably helped her case that she was a scary as woman and you feared for your life when you told her no. It worked the same with her, she wasn't a huge one for telling others no. Koz and Hap were actually the first people Jonny had seen T tell a firm no too. It had become a more frequent thing since her becoming the LK but she still had certain people she wouldn't or couldn't say no to.
Jonny turned his head towards the hallway when he heard the door open. As he watched Ana approach him, he noticed that her eyes were puffy and slightly red. Jonny knew that she didn't sleep much the night before. He had heard her moving quietly in her room, as he couldn't sleep either. His daughter was a lot like T in the fact that she didn't want her mourning to be seen by others. So the fact that she had came out of her room at all surprised him. It was more shocking that she still displayed the proof that she had been crying. Jonny stared at her for a moment, he knew that she had become close with the only "grandfather" she had ever known but he hadn't expected her to take it as hard as she was. He held his arms as she approached him and for the first time in a long time he was able to hug and hold his daughter.
"Daddy?" Ana asked
"Yeah baby?"
"Auntie sent me a text; she said that Grandpa had asked her to send me something. She said she would send you the address and maybe today would be a good day to go get it… Can we go?"
"Of course." Jonny replied.
T had explained that when she arrived in Carolina after finding out about her dad that he had was getting ready to send something for Ana. She sent him the address and explained everything to him and Jonny had to agree with T that today would be a good day to take Ana to see the horse. Jonny should of expected that T would of found away to get Ana to focus on something else than the death that had just happened. It was very much like her to make sure that Ana kept a smile always.
"Go get dressed. We can leave as soon as you're ready." Jonny added before give her a tight squeeze and a light push in the direction of her bedroom.
-LK-
T hadn't slept in days, it wasn't like she had a million lose ends to tie up, or that she wasn't working her ass off all day on the farm. No she was avoiding sleep because she was trying to avoid the truth. In fact she avoided her bedroom except for changing and showers. She had spent most of the night texting Ana and it broke her heart that she wasn't there to fix everything she could. She also didn't like the fact that Ana was crying for T just as much as she was over the death of her grandpa. Sending her to see the horse was the only thing she could think of that would help get Ana past this.
T looked in the mirror, she almost didn't recognize herself. She was tan, her hair was tied up in a bun and she was dressed in black dress. She looked older, she looked tired and her eyes looked even more haunted than they use to. Her cell phone chirped, alerting her to the new text message. She was sure it was either from Jonny or Ana…. She almost dropped the phone when she saw the name displayed upon her ID,
Happy: I'm sorry
-LK-
Happy had heard about the death from Jonny himself and he didn't really know what to make of the cryptic shit Jonny had been spewing about how T was actually doing which only led him to believe that she wasn't doing well. In fact Hap would bet money that she wasn't dealing with it at all. She was probably working her ass off every day and getting drunk every night that is if he knew T at all. She probably hadn't cried, shit she probably wasn't even sleeping. Happy had seen her go zombie mode before, it was… scary. That was the only word he could think of that might describe how disturbing it was to watch someone who kills people for a living become a shell of who they are. To watch someone that he loved, slowly fucking loses all sanity. He had been lucky enough to bring her back when it had happened before. This time, Happy wasn't sure who was going to save her. She had locked him out, shoved him away and basically refused to acknowledge that he had ever been someone who held most of her secrets. Even Mac hadn't heard from her…
To be short, Happy was worried. If he thought it would do any good he would ride his ass down there, but according to Jonny shit was about to hit the fan big time. Happy knew better than to make his ass her target when it did. Jonny relayed that the funeral was today and that T had denied all requests to come to Carolina. She didn't want them wasting their time or money just to watch her dad be put in a box and buried in the fucking ground. Words that Jonny had apparently quoted from her mouth.
Happy had picked up his phone a million times to call her, never actually going through with it. Because he knew that she wouldn't answer and that her not answering would only piss him off. So instead, he wore black, woke up early and had watched the sunrise. Something that T had once admitted to him always reminded her of Carolina and her dad. It was something that they had done together a lot, as a family and something that her and her dad had kept doing even once her mom was gone. She had said that they liked to think that the sunrise and sunset was their own personal proof that her mom was out there somewhere watching her. That when it rained it was her mother's way of washing away all the bad shit that happened since the last rain and was giving her a fresh start. T said that she thought he would think it was stupid. Happy never told her that he thought it was a good way to look at the death of one of the most important people in her life. In fact there was a lot of shit Happy had wished he had told T as he watched the sunrise that morning and he wondered if he would ever get the chance to tell her. That if he did get the chance he would actually come out and say shit instead of acting like he couldn't feel anything.
Happy flipped his phone open again; he figured if he wanted to start talking now was as good of time as any. So he typed out a quick message and said the only thing he felt was good enough to get his point across in a text. A simple I'm sorry. He didn't expect a reply, he didn't expect shit but he figured that right now extending his hand was all he could do. That letting her know that he hadn't forgot about her, that she still mattered to him was the best way for him to show her that he really did mean what he said. After all, it wasn't like he really had shit else to lose.
-LK-
Greg glanced across the table at her. She hadn't shed a tear at the funeral; she hadn't said anything when they place his body in the ground. Actually come to think of it, Greg wasn't sure when the last time he actually heard her speak, it was a rare occasion to her words spill from her mouth in the past few days. He would here mumbled conversations through her doorway, lightly given commands when on the farm working and she said please and thank you when presented with food at dinner that was if she actually sat down to eat. Mostly he watched her run the farm, go through her father's office and of course get completely wasted on a whole bottle of wine every night. Greg remembered hearing the guys talk about how weird it was to see her drink wine when she almost always only drank beer or Jack.
Even though she hadn't said much, he knew that they were all about to get an earful or more. He watched her as she studied Andrew sitting next to him, nervously fidgeting. Her calculating eyes told him that she knew something was up. He could tell she was still undecided as to if it was going to be good or bad. Greg wasn't ashamed to admit that after a talk with Jonny, he had found and hid all of her guns and the guns placed throughout the house, per Jonny's advice. Greg didn't doubt for one minute that his niece had the temper Jonny claimed her to have. She was just like her momma, a god damn fire cracker. Though Jonny had said he and his boys had a different name for her, Dangerous.
Greg looked towards the lawyer. He was of course a long time friend of the family and Greg could tell he was nervous as hell too. Greg though, decided that keeping his cool was going to be vital to making sure that they all made it out of this, alive and as unharmed as possible.
The letters were passed out; Greg was surprised as one was slide across the table to him. He had thought that they had said all there was to say. He shouldn't have been surprised though that the old man had one more thing hidden up his sleeve. The tell tale sign of uncrinkling paper caused him to look away from the lawyer and stare directly at Taylor. She looked the picture of calm, but her eyes looked dead. Greg didn't think that would last long once was all said and done. In fact, while worried he was he was also glad to know that he would soon be witnessing a spear coming out from those eyes.
"First of all, Mr. West made some last minute changes to his will. I am sure this will come as a shock to some but all of us here know that he always had something up his sleeve. His first request is that you all read your letters, they might help give better insight to some of the choices he has made and of course they are the last words of a dying man. With that said, let's get started shall we?"
Greg heard Andrew take a deep breath and he himself had to struggle not to take and hold one as well. Greg nodded in response to the lawyers questions. Here goes nothing….
-LK-
"I of course leave the family home to my only child; Taylor Kathryn West on the pretense that she allows all the current members to stay living in there designated areas. That she maintain the up keep, pay the bills and promise to keep our family heirlooms in the family."
T nodded her head in response. She had heard and read this will before. It was nothing that was new to her. Or so she thought, the fact that he had last minute changes and didn't tell her both worried and pissed her off. She was debating what he could of change, hardly listening to the lawyer until she heard him say.
"In charge of the animals, the crops and the every day to day of the farm, while my daughter handles the finical aspect of the business."
T whipped her head towards the lawyer. "I'm sorry. I think I missed something. Can you repeat that?" She asked.
The lawyer took a deep breath before repeating "To Andrew Johnson I leave the manual aspect of my farm to be advised by Gregory Reynolds. He is to be in charge of the animals, the crops and the every day to day of the farm." The lawyer than looked up at her "He said that if after four years of living away from the farm and Carolina, if you wish to return and take over that you may. But he wants you to go out and live your life, to follow your heart and gain all the things that he could not give you. He said that your still in charge of all the business aspects, the money and all executive decisions made on this farm. That you are to fly down once a month and take care of paper work and the such. It was his final wish that you do not allow the farm and his passing to dictate your life but instead that you continue to spread your wings and fly."
T was stuck in shock. What the fuck had her father done? Hadn't he fucked up her life enough growing up? She gave up everything she had to stay here and run this damn farm so that it wouldn't be sold off to some random as person who would erase all of her memories. All of the good things that had happened.
T grabbed the letter off the table and stormed out of the room. She didn't care what else her dead father had to say. In fact she didn't even want to read the fucking letter he had left her. She was livid as she slammed the door to her room open. The first thing she saw was her reflection, playing off of all the random mirrors placed around her room. Picking up the brush off the dresser, she chucked it at the reflection of herself she saw. She continued to break every mirror, every reflection she saw. Her hands were bloody; there were shards of mirrors everywhere as she finally collapsed on the floor of her bedroom, in the dead center where, thankfully there was no glass. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks. She knew at that moment that she was crying for everything. Every life, no matter how vile she had taken, every bad choice she had made, every person she had hurt, for the loss of her parents and her innocence and mostly she just cried because she couldn't stop.
-LK-
The house was quiet, everyone pretended that they couldn't hear Tay crying, that they didn't witness of have a hand in the destruction of her life. No one could deny that they had jumped at the sound of each mirror breaking in her room, though. No one would share the fact that they felt guilty or worried of even afraid of the woman. Instead, they all did as they knew she would wish for them to do. Act like they could hear and see nothing.
Annie sat in the kitchen, where she could hear the quiet sobs of the only child she had ever had a hand in raising. She didn't pick up a pan to cook with, she didn't wash a dish or even open the fridge. Instead, she sat quietly at the kitchen island and drank a glass, well more than a glass, of wine and just listened. She hadn't heard her cry, hadn't seen her cry since her momma's funeral. A day that would always haunt Annie. Taylor had been so young, so innocent at that time in her life. She was still just learning how to be a woman. It killed Annie to watch Taylor lean onto Jonny for comfort, to see the girl breaking herself apart to only rebuild herself again.
Annie had read the letter that Tammy had left for her a million times, in fact Annie still had the letter, the words were fading. The paper was stained with tears but Annie had done her best to fulfill Tammy's last wishes. Annie had been the shoulder to lean on, the ear to talk off and the one to smack sense into the girl when she needed it. Annie knew, when Greg had handed her the letter from her pa that it would hold the same request as Tammy's had. And even though she didn't like it, Annie knew it would be up to her to make sure that tomorrow Taylor would spread her wings and fly again. Maybe she wouldn't fly straight, maybe she wouldn't full out soar but she would soon be leaving the nest. It was Annie's job to make sure that Taylor never, ever lost sight of having a dream, a wish and star. As it had always been Annie's job because no one in a million years would ever know the truth of the secrets that went untold in the West family home. Annie and Greg would take the last of them, to their graves.
-LK-
Greg wasn't surprised when Taylor appeared at his door bright and early the next morning. A look of determination etched upon her face. He noticed that her hands were bandaged, that her eyes were slightly blood shot and that she seemed to have gained years of wisdom in a single night.
Greg didn't think twice as he complied with her request to go with her somewhere. He just followed her out to her pa's truck and climbed in. The drive was decent one, neither one of them had ever felt the need to mindlessly chatter just because it was too quiet. In fact Greg knew that they both enjoyed the open road and the silence. It was peaceful to them, they didn't need to know what was going on with everyone or even what the plans were. They just went with it. Life was full of surprises and Greg had long ago quit trying to guess them.
He was a little surprised as they pulled into the ford dealership. T made no comment as she exited the truck and tossed the keys at him. He didn't figure that they would be shopping, Taylor would of only dragged him here if she had something in mind. When he spoted the larger F250 in a dark blue, he knew that was why they had came. She would leave, but of course she would take part of Carolina with her this time.
The truck was just like his but instead of the red he preferred it was the dark blue her pa had always had. Greg wasn't sure if she would head straight to Tacoma or if she would take her time and make a million stops on the way. He only knew that she was buying that truck to take with her and that she would leave. She would respect her fathers wishes and follow his will because that was just the way she was. When the storm was over, she always followed the wind.
-LK-
T had already made the arrangements to have her room fixed. The repair guy would be out that same day to fix the damage she had done and to replace the mirrors she had so carelessly destroyed. Her carpet too would need to be replaced because she knew that the glass would never be completely gone from it. So she wrote out the checks and left them on the kitchen counter. Greg was allowed access to the farm bank account and while she trusted Andrew she had no plans of turning over and allowing him any access to the farms bank account or numbers. She locked them all safely away in her fathers hidden safe.
She and Greg had already picked up her new truck, something that wasn't neccarcy for her to buy but Daddy had left her more money in a personal account than she had ever known of. In fact it was six years worth of money. She figured it would be a good way to remember him and Carolina by. The truck was part Greg with the style and size and part her dad with the color. She had made her quiet good byes to everyone before finally loading her bags and starting down the long drive. Annie had of course placed a basket of goodies on the passenger seat. T was sure there would be cookies and bread from the momma's along with plenty of Annies homemade meals to last her for the drive. She had thought that she would take her time but she knew as she pulled down the long dirt road, there was only one place that she wanted to be. And that maybe after all the effort he had put into coming to her, it was her turn to go to him…. Well maybe, after she stopped in Tacoma first.
-LK-