A/N: …why hello there! You've happened upon the next chapter of No Petals Fall. I greatly apologize for being so late, but you can understand what school and summer homework does to a young sophomore-turned-junior.
Thanks to Ariana Taniyama for giving me a little extra nudge today :D This chapter is in dedication of the release of Beauty and the Beast on Blu-ray!
Chapter Fifteen: Vanity and Blame
Mai slept in vain, waiting for Gene.
She wanted to see him again. She wanted his comfort, the comfort that no one else seemed to be able to give. Sure, their sympathy was abundant and their words were honeyed. But there was something about Gene that was different. Different than anyone she ever knew, ever talked to, ever saw.
Maybe it was the fact that she had forced herself to believe that it was Naru saying those things to her. But it wasn't. Mai didn't want to wrap her mind around that.
But Gene was long gone before Mai had ever arrived. This couldn't have confused her more, couldn't have shredded her heart faster. Mai was only left wondering who the man in her dreams was and what her feelings really were.
Mai searched in vain, looking for that fairy tale book.
It had to be here somewhere. Somewhere in this godforsaken manor, there was a book Mai found for herself when Naru was being a jackass - like usual. And she was going to find it again just to spite him. There had to be something important in that book if Naru took these extreme measures to hide it from her.
Naru brooded and waited out the days, but his vanity was not uncommon.
The two of them were doing exactly what everyone else feared. They were pulling away from each other, pulling away from their responsibilities – from the freedom they could give to those who had suffered the consequences.
Life was not fair, and neither was death.
Forty-five days left. A month and a half. And that was it.
Mai woke one morning to a grey sky and a yelling Ayako. Mai sat up, rubbing her eyes, wondering if she was just imaging things. Ayako's voice just got louder. Mai sighed, swinging her legs over the bed. Great wake up call.
"What's going on?" Mai asked as Masako glided back into the room. Something passed over Masako's face, but it was gone before Mai could figure out what that something was.
"Oh, nothing. Just Ayako being… Ayako."
Mai would have believed that if Masako didn't seem so jumpy. Or if she had tried to look at Mai at all. Or if Naru hadn't just started shouting back at Ayako.
"Don't talk to me like I don't understand the gravity of the situation! I know damn well how serious this is! I hope you would take this just seriously because it means even more to you!" came Naru's retort.
Mai lifted an eyebrow. Masako's gaze darted around the room – up at the ceiling, down at the floor, over at the window – anywhere else but Mai. Mai sighed.
"Whatever. I'll find out later."
When Mai finished getting ready, she could still hearing them fighting. Masako sat on Mai's made bed, her hands clasped tightly on her lap, and a deep wince wrinkling her young face. Masako caught Mai before she swept out the door.
"Please, Mai. Just… don't go past the West Wing. That's where they… Please. Just don't."
Masako looked so desperate, so terrified, Mai had to oblige. She could resist.
Until Mai hunted down Ayako during her lunch.
The air was still electric from the morning's fight. Everyone pretended that it had never happened, but this only made it all the more evident to Mai. Mai hadn't seen Naru the rest of the day. It was Lin who had given her the chores and Lin who had taken the tea in and Lin who had told her it was her break.
Mai only wanted to know why.
"Ayako?" Mai asked as she swung open the kitchen door. The older woman spun around, a hand over her heart.
"Goodness, Mai, don't scare me like that."
"I… I just opened the door," Mai said, but Ayako wasn't paying attention. Mai sighed and began to make her lunch.
"So, um, weird wake-up call this morning."
"What do you mean?" Ayako's voice was too pinched, too rushed, too high. Were they really going to go down this road?
"I heard yelling. Masako wouldn't tell me what was going on." Mai turned away, feigning innocence. She bounced up on her tiptoes to grab a plate from the cupboard. She set in down on the counter and returned her attention to Ayako. The older woman cleared the thoughts from her face.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Ayako said, her smile tight. Mai nodded slowly.
"Right. But I was sure I heard Naru. I… just want to make sure everything's okay."
"Why are you asking me then, Mai? Why not ask Naru if you're so sure it was him yelling?"
Mai felt her stomach turn after those overly sugared words. "I haven't seen Naru all day. And, um, I thought I heard someone else screaming back at him."
"Oh? And who would that be?"
"You." Mai was done playing it safe.
"Me? Why would it have been me?" Ayako laughed. Now her façade was almost seamless but Mai couldn't be bought with sweetness.
"Please don't lie to me. I've been lied to enough already," Mai said, not managing to keep her voice from cracking. The faked smile disappeared from the older woman's face. Mi still didn't get what she asked for.
"I was working. I was nowhere near the West Wing this morning."
Mai licked her lips and began to turn away. She clenched her jaw and was silent until—
"I never said anything about the West Wing. It was you!"
Ayako's eyes widened. She stepped back, thrusting her nose in the air. "You have no proof."
"I had my proof right there, it was you, you said the West Wing, and I never told you anything of the sort!"
Ayako's cheeks tinged opaque. She opened her mouth to retort but was cut off by the bang of the door. Lin stormed in. Mai thought the slamming open of the door was for dramatic effect – he could have easily gone through.
"An idiot – won't listen – refuses to – can't believe – all that we've gone through – won't even—!"
"Lin?" Ayako snapped. He didn't look up.
This time, Lin managed to put together full sentences, heated with rage. "What the hell is he thinking, pretending like this was nothing? Doesn't he realize the how serious this is getting? If he's sleepwalking and about to kill someone again, it's not nothing. I'm not even sure he realized that if you had not found him and had not awakened him, Matsuzaki-san, he would have succeeded in killing Mai. He's locked himself away!"
"What's going on?" Mai didn't recognize her own voice. Lin jerked his head up, jaw tightening. Ayako sighed behind her.
"I tried to warn you. You have no one to blame but yourself," Ayako muttered.
Lin caught Mai's gaze. It was the softest she'd ever seen his expression.
"Why-why is this happening, Lin-san? Why does Naru want to kill me?" She grasped the edge of the counter for support. She could already feel her legs trying to give out on her.
Lin paused, and for half a second Mai was afraid she'd just get another lie. He must have seen fear flash across her face.
"Naru does not want to kill you, Mai."
"But-but you said that he was going to! And you said that if Ayako hadn't stopped him, he would have succeeded!" Mai squeaked. Lin studied her, and Mai could see the gears in his head meshing and turning and trying to figure out what to say to her distraught self.
"He was sleepwalking. He was muttering about how he needed the knife. When Ayako found him and woke him up, he was very confused. Naru just wants everything to be over."
Mai didn't have anything to say to that. It didn't make her feel any better. What if it kept happening? What if Ayako wasn't there next time? What if Mai didn't wake up tomorrow?
Lin noticed her unease.
"That is not the way he wants the curse to end, Mai. He wants no more murders here."
Ayako ran a hand through her hand and cleared her throat.
"At least he regrets it."
Mai knocked on Naru's door minutes later, her stomach in a tight knot. Lin and Ayako had both agreed that Mai talk to Naru. She needed to hear his story for herself and figure out what that meant for the two of them – and how they were going to avoid if it ever happened again.
Mai was pretty sure he wouldn't even let her in.
"Naru? Naru, please open the door. I just want to talk. I'm not afraid of you. Please."
There was a pause before—
"You can come in. The door is unlocked."
She found him sitting at his desk with bags under his eyes and his hair a mess. She wasn't sure if she'd seen him worse.
"Naru?"
"I'm here, Mai." He sounded like he was in pain.
"I know. I can see you," she snapped back, but then winced. She reeled in her coarse voice. "Are you okay? I haven't seen you all day."
"I've been thinking."
It took all her energy not to retort something sarcastic. Mai moved through the dark room.
"About…?"
"Everything that's happened since you've come here." Naru stood. "And I've decided that you need to leave, Mai. For your own safety, you need to leave."
Her heart plummeted.
"What?" she heard herself yell, and quickly composed herself. "But if I leave, the curse… and everyone else will…!" She didn't want to say it.
"I know. Believe me, I know what will happen. But I think everyone, including myself, would rather not risk another life lost. Not after what happened this morning."
Her throat closed. "Naru… I don't want to go. I… I really do like it here. I'll risk it, fine. I don't care."
"You may want to risk it, but I don't!" Naru's voice rattled the windows. Mai clenched her jaw. "You're leaving this godforsaken place with your life. Be grateful, because most haven't."
Mai stomped her foot. "What's gotten into you? You've kept me here for over two months with the exact same risks hanging over my head, but you haven't given a second thought about that! So just because you sleepwalked one night with the intention of taking the knife doesn't mean I'll be dead tomorrow!"
"Maybe it does!" he roared back. "And maybe I don't want to wake up over your dead body!"
The both of them fell back. Naru inhaled, gathering his wits, and turned his head away from her. "For your own damn good, you're leaving and that's final."
Mai refused look back up at him. She was no match for that stare. "You-you can't kick me out with nothing. I haven't even paid off the debt yet. I have nowhere else to go, and I have no money."
Naru walked back to his desk and braced himself. "I wasn't going to send you out empty-handed. Lin knows that I am sending you away and I've asked him to gather some of the more valuable artifacts I've collected over the years so you can sell them. And I have something else for you – but you can't sell this."
From his coat pocket he pulled the mirror from so long ago. Mai balked.
"Why are you giving me a mirror that only shows you?"
Naru's glare heated the icy atmosphere. "If you had been patient enough when I first showed this to you, you would already know what it does."
"It's a mirror. I think I know what mirrors do."
"Not this one." Naru strode up to her with a renewed arrogance and placed the mirror in her hands just like that first day here.
"It's still only showing you, Naru."
"Oh, that's the preset. Ask it to show you something."
"I'm not going to talk to a mirror, Naru."
"In the two month you've been here, you've spoken to a wardrobe, a teacup, a clock, a feather duster, a bookcase, a teapot, and a candelabra. You'll feel perfectly sane asking an enchanted mirror for an image."
Mai gaped at it. She snapped her mouth shut and whispered the first person she thought of.
"Show me my father."
The mirror went blank.
"Anything still around, Mai." Naru's tone told her he had tried the same thing many times before.
"Right. Um… show me my old house."
The mirror darkened and then what looked like a graying pile of wood planks appeared in the mirror. Mai couldn't hold back a gasp.
"You lived in that?" Naru stared over her shoulder.
Mai pursed her lips, ashamed. Compared to this manor Naru had been 'trapped' in, her old house looked like dust. "When I left, those planks made a house. Or a room. Shelter, at the least."
Naru didn't even bother making fun of her. She felt even more out of place.
"You'll need a new place to stay. There's a town a ways north of here that has rooms for rent and a marketplace to sell the things I'll give you. They'll make quite a sum, and they'll give you enough to pay for food and housing until you can find a job."
Mai nodded, and silence drew over them. Mai clutched the mirror, wondering when she'd lose it and just keep watching this manor. Naru stood next to her. Neither wanted to move on.
Without even thinking, Mai threw her arms around his middle. She was going to miss him, even though he was an arrogant bastard. And though she was free now, she couldn't help but feel pinned down by an overwhelming sense of guilt. Naru gave her a pat on the back.
"Go get your things from Lin."
Mai eased herself off him.
"Thank you for the mirror," was the only thing she could say before running out the door.
Naru collapsed back in his chair.
Mai ran outside only to see everyone already there and already in shock.
Ayako was the first one to gain back the ability to speak. "You put up quite a fight in there, didn't you?" Mai didn't want to hear the bitterness embedded in her voice.
"I couldn't do anything! You heard how angry he was, and you know how he gets when he's made up his mind!" Mai's voice edged into pleading. She barely noticed the cool mirror against her sweaty palms.
"And I also know you can hold your own against him, Mai!" Ayako yelled back. "Where'd that girl go? The girl that cared and wanted to help? The girl that we all thought would set everything right?"
"She's right here! She's standing right in front of you!" Her voice cracked and she held the mirror to her chest, protecting herself. No one else had the guts. "But you didn't see him, Ayako! I couldn't say no!"
"Why not? You've done so many times before. What's different about now? Has Naru finally broken you? Have you given up on us, too?"
"Stop it, Ayako! You don't understand!"
When Mai got nothing but silence in return, she knew it had gone too far. Mai couldn't have saved herself to begin with.
"I understand perfectly well, Mai-chan." The name mocked her, babied her. "You're the one who doesn't understand."
With that, Ayako stalked off down the hall. Mai breathed in, deep and slowly, and tried to wash the tears away before they came.
"I'll go talk to her, I guess," Takigawa volunteered, breathy laughter snapping the tension in two. "She'll regret it if she doesn't say goodbye to you, Mai."
"No, I'll go get her," John said, already breaking away. John noticed the look on Mai's face and smiled. "Don't worry, Mai, I'll be back before you leave. I promise."
Mai swallowed, unsure of how much better John could handle Ayako than Takigawa, but nodded. He disappeared after the miko. Mai was left with five anxious ghosts circled around her.
"So… that's it then, is it?" Takigawa ran a hand through his hair. Mai looked up at his pained face and had a feeling she shared his expression. "Naru wants to save you before the clock hits midnight?"
"Something like that." She couldn't stand the disappointment in the air. Mai turned to Lin, knowing his expression would remain the same no matter what circumstance they were in. "Naru said you had things for me, to sell once I left here."
"I only started, but yes. Follow me and I'll show you."
They ended up in a room Mai had only been in once before. How she'd never seen most of the artifacts before was beyond her.
"Now I haven't been putting cursed objects for you to sell in here, simply things that are rumored to bring good luck and are worth something. Gold, silver, jewels, anything you can carry. If you see anything you like, ask."
Mai took this as an invitation to gawk at everything around the room. Her fingers slipped along rows and stands with trinkets and ornaments and baubles that surely caused destruction in some other life.
Yasuhara stood at her shoulder before she could blink. "That vase right there has been possessed by the ghost of Maximilien Robespierre, the man who instigated and led the Reign of Terror in France. The previous owners, up until Naru bought it, were all beheaded."
Mai pulled her hand away and continued looking. Yasuhara just laughed and followed in step behind her. A blank wooden picture frame caught her gaze.
"Wouldn't touch that one either," Takigawa spoke up, appearing in front of her. "If you touch that portrait with your bare hands, you get sucked inside and you become the picture."
Mai slipped ahead of the both of them, thoroughly nervous. Maybe it was good she'd only seen this room once. She didn't have to look back to know they kept at her heels.
"And that door knocker that has your attention now," Masako said, staring at Mai from across the room, "has haunted many a house before it arrived here. That specific door knocker is what began the 'haunted house with a door that opens on its own' rumor."
And there were so many more things in this room that were more haunted and more demonic than anything she'd seen or heard of before.
"Wow, I missed this thing," Yasuhara laughed and picked up a glossy, wooden staff. "I wondered where Naru had hidden it."
"Yasuhara. You know what happened the last time you fooled around with that," Lin snapped, looking up from packing Mai's bag. Next to him, Madoka grinned. Yasuhara made a face. He sighed and gently placed the staff back in its spot.
"It returned to normal eventually," he mumbled. Gauging by the apparent expressions on everyone's faces, Mai was sure that she didn't want to know what exactly had needed to return to normal.
"How do you guys know all this stuff?" she said. They tossed knowing glances around the room before someone responded.
"We live for the occult, Mai." Madoka gave her that classic grin. Mai couldn't smile back.
"You died for the occult." The weary gleam in Mai's eyes told them all that she wasn't in the mood for jokes.
The door slammed open with unneeded force. Ayako came stalking back though, her nose upturned and the gleam in her eyes ferocious. John walked in behind her, but that triumphant smile on his face was not shielded from the group.
"So, what are we doing in here?" John asked in the middle of the awkward moment.
"We are gathering the things Mai is to sell to provide herself with what she needs. I think we're nearly finished, though," Lin said, motioning to the leather bag in the chair in front of him. John's eyebrows rose, but Mai's heart sunk. She didn't want him to be finished. She wanted to stay here, forever.
"Oh. Can I see what she has so far? I can see if there's something to add."
Maybe John was more of a mind reader than a priest.
Mai hovered in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do with herself. She had no time. She felt so trapped, but so free. She was just… confused.
"I think that'll do it."
The words she didn't want to hear. But they were all gathered at the door before Mai could say a thing. Even Ayako had followed along begrudgingly, but Takigawa had kept a firm hand on her waist until now. Ayako hadn't sent Mai one positive glance, and Mai never expected to see one from her again.
Naru wasn't there, waiting to say goodbye.
Well, good riddance to him.
She hugged each person, saying her most solemn, heartfelt goodbyes. She couldn't help but feel guilty. She knew they couldn't help but feel the least bit bitter. It was sad they had to end things like this… but they could have ended worse. How she hated goodbyes.
Mai held her bag full of valuables at her chest, trying to protect herself from her own heartache. With each heavy step, she knew some things could never change.
No goodbye to Ayako. No goodbye to Naru. And Mai just had to live with that.
The icy breeze reached the tip of her nose.
"Mai!" someone cried out. Mai turned around just in time to see Ayako fling her arms around her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I need – I need to give you something before you go for good." Ayako struggled to keep calm, and held out a little black pouch. It jingled when Mai took it from her.
"Just… to find a room. To keep yourself comfortable until you can resettle." With a hopeful smile, Ayako composed herself and stood straight. Mai pressed the leather between her fingers, forcing herself not to cry.
"Thank you, Ayako," Mai said, nodding, and collapsed into another hug.
"I think you have one more goodbye to go, Mai-chan," Ayako whispered into her ear. Mai let Ayako turn her around.
Naru stood at the top of the stairs. Mai only stared as he bounced down step after step and strode to meet her at the door. Mai barely noticed the other staying to watch.
"You decided I was worth saying goodbye to?" Mai asked, her voice coming out harsher than she'd hoped. But he deserved it, after all he'd put her through. She didn't want this to be their goodbye, and she already regretted where this was going.
"No," Naru snapped. Mai flinched and Naru backtracked. "What I mean to say is… I just wanted you to know…"
"Yes?" Mai prompted, standing on her tip-toes. Naru only just matched her gaze.
"Your father was a good man. That shows upon you, too." His hand cupped her cheek but fell away almost immediately. He cleared his throat. "I hope your trip is safe."
Mai nodded, her cheek hot where his hand had been. She turned away from him, toward the door. She couldn't end it not knowing.
Mai swiveled back around, her heart slamming against her ribs. "Naru?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you something?"
There was a pause before, "Of course."
Her voice stuck in her throat at the worst moment possible. The words she managed out were, "Why were you so mad that night? That night when…?" Her gaze trailed over to her friends who now had no chance of gaining their lives back.
Naru's jaw tightened and Mai was positive that he wasn't going to answer her. She hastily tucked her hair behind her ear and shook her head.
"Never mind. I'm sorry. Forget I asked. I'll just—"
"Your father lost my money," he spoke out over her, silencing her. "He was paying for your housing and food, instead of investing it."
Mai's eyes widened and the wind swooped out of her. "Oh my Gods… so… it was all my fault. Everything."
She couldn't look at anyone. Everyone dead, all the lives ruined… because of her.
Naru just kept going. "A week later, I summoned him to work here to pay off that lost money. No, Mai. This was not your fault. You do not deserve his punishment or mine."
She did not deserve punishment. She did not deserve punishment. She was not to blame.
These thought haunted her the whole way home. She found herself in a quaint little town, in a cozy little inn with real, live people to talk to. But Mai kept thinking of the family she had made and what had all happened just in the past few months.
Taking Naru's word, maybe she wasn't at fault.
It was her father who'd made the decision to leave.
It was her father who'd made the decision to spend the money on her.
It was her father's job she'd taken on.
It was Naru who made the decision to get mad.
It was Naru who'd made the decision to pick up the knife.
It was Naru who'd killed her friends.
But if she truly wasn't at fault, then why did she feel like it was her job to fix everything?
A/N: Getting closer… please review!