A/N: Thankyou for the reviews :)

Here is the next chapter- obviously with a lot of drama ;D

Hope you like the sappiness! -

The Argument

14th January, 2011 (Friday) 8.30 p.m.

He killed me. Ichigo almost killed me when he got to know I had been writing in my diary in a high fever. I'm writing right now because I feel a lot better that I've been left alone, and well, because he's gone out grocery shopping.

Orihime, Hitsugaya, Uryuu, Rangiku and Renji visited, but when they saw I was in no mood to be cheered-up, they gave me their presents (I still can't believe I turn 16 today) and left me in Ichigo's hands.

I was also tackled down by Ichigo who finally called up a doctor when my temperature raised to a 104.7 degrees. I was given some antibiotics which I'm supposed to take for the next 5 days. Of course I'm not in the mood to be cheered up.

Well, I can't be cheered up. Don't they get it? They try so hard to make me happy, it irritates me, because I can seerightthrough it. With Ichigo…I just feel happy…

They're supposed to be two different things, right? I know they are.

Ichigo tried getting a cake, but after I'd thrown up again, he dropped the idea, saying his money would go to waste because I might end up puking it out. Seeing him act his usual way oddly does make it normal around here, but it's like- every small minute I look at him, this pang of jealousy shoots through me and I suddenly get annoyed with him.

He has a family- he has people to whom he can run away to whenever he feels like he wants to start again. Why is that? Why him and why not me?

And then I feel so completely disgusted with myself for thinking that way, because I know I have him. So I might just have everything he has, if I have him, right?

…Right?

15th January, 2011 (Saturday)

We had a fight. I still can't believe all those words that I said to him. I'm- I'm just in shock…

It started with him showing up in my bedroom and going "Feeling better?"

"No" I croaked.

He sighed "Rukia, I've been meaning to say that this- this depression thing…it can't go on for too long…."

I stared at him, with eyes wide. Depression? I was not depressed!

I guess I knew it all along- who was he to take care of me all the time? It had been my fault for mistaking he was ever even close to any family that I had ever had. He was just a best friend…or probably boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure that has been a joke from the very start.

"It's been 3 days, Rukia..and your fever hasn't broken- it's rising like anything, even with antibiotics…" he said slowly.

So what? It'd been only one day since I started taking said antibiotics!

And really….? It had been 3 days already? Nii-sama's been dead for- for 3 days?

"This is not normal, Rukia…" he said slowly "Come on, you have to go out there. Move on….."

I was bitter. He wasn't one to talk about moving on. He wasn't one to talk about anything concerning this. He ran away- it took him some years to get back to his family..I didn't run away.

Well, to be honest, where could I run to? That fact just made me grow angrier.

"You don't have to care." I said slowly "I can take care of myself."

He stared at me. I didn't want that, I wasn't the wrong one here, or that's what I thought right then.

"Rukia, you're taking me in the wrong way-"

"What other way should I take you?" I asked, my voice rising. My head was aching, I had been in bed for 3 days and I hadn't even realized it…?

"You can't stay here crying all your life!" he said. His voice was rising too, but I didn't care anymore.

Crying. That is why I never show myself to anyone- because afterwards they tell you off. I had been crying because I liked it, didn't I? I didn't happen to lose everything that had meant to me. Oh no, of course not!

"I'll do what I want with my life!" I actually found the strength to shout at him. "I don't need YOU telling me, Ichigo! And move on? Look who's talking about moving on!"

He stared at me "What the hell is wrong with you?"

All the bitterness about Nii-sama leaving me, his death, Nee-san's passing away, about Urahara; who wished me a happy birthday in this ecstatic voice like as if nothing had happened, about Tatsuki shouting at me, blaming me- everything got me that minute and I forgot myself.

"I'm fed up of everybody ! I'm fed up of everyone telling me everything's gonna be fine, that it's okay!" I shrieked, kicking off my covers and getting up "What do you know about me? I TELL YOU SOME STUFF ABOUT MY LIFE SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?"
"I WENT THROUGH STUFF TOO!" he yelled back; I guess I had finally gotten to his nerves, but at that point of time, I felt pleased. Pleased that he was finally over taking care of me and was shouting back at me- somehow, I guess I only needed to yell out all that anger and frustration at someone. I was glad we were fighting.

"Yeah, poor little boy lost his mommy!" I laughed. I actually laughed in this high-pitched voice…. "YEAH OFCOURSE YOU WENT THROUGH STUFF ICHIGO- THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A PERFECT LIFE WITH NO MOTHER IN IT- BUT AN ENTIRE FAMILY! BIG DEAL!"

For a while, he looked like he would come straight up to me and give me a tight slap. I even wished he would as I came to realize what I had said- that was twice I had insulted his mother now. He glared at me, but then he closed his eyes, opened them and walked out of my house without another word.

I guess that's what hurt the most. To know that he didn't hit me…that he didn't fight back; because honestly, I would've felt so much better if he had just reached out to me and knocked me straight out. I felt like I deserved that punch he didn't give.

He just walked out.

And he's not come back ever since.

I stood there, feeling blank for the second time in my life and wishing that Ashton Kutcher would jump out from somewhere and yell "You just got PUNK'D!".

But that never happened either.

I touched the diamond necklace around my neck. I felt so alone.

Which is dumb, because I've been that way from the past 6 months- there was no point in realizing that now.

I felt hot tears spring up in my eyes, but I wiped them away. I was not crying now.

I feel pathetic, but I don't want to worsen it by crying and admitting I'm that weak. I'm not, you know.

I'm just stupid.

A/N: Emotional, emotional, emotional *folds her arms and shakes her head*

Another thing I wanted to say- I went for an eye test and turns out my eyesight is decreasing rapidly so I'm trying to avoid being on the comp. for too long.

I might not update for a while, I hope you understand and wait, and really, Thankyou so damn much for reading and reviewing! :)

Ta léme!

~SS~