A/N: Hey, everyone. I'm glad you like this story ^^
Whoa, chapter 20 already! Well, here it is-
Ignorance
16th January, 2011 (Sunday)
I woke up this morning, burning with fever, only to find Ichigo wiping my brow with a wet towel.
I was too shocked to say anything. He was here- still here- after everything I'd done and said to him.
This…. warm sensation flooded through my stomach. I wanted to stay there like that forever, but then he stood up.
"Ichigo…" I began. But he said nothing. That's when I saw his expression.
It hurt to look at him. He looked like he did to so many of the girls who flocked to him. He looked blank- and that he didn't give a damn about me- only my fever.
I didn't want him to treat me like any other girl. I wanted him to treat me like he always did- like I was the only one who made him smile, like I was special to him. I wanted him to treat me like I was his best friend once again.
But who am I kidding? I've ruined those chances.
With a plain "Your tablets are on the coffee table. Take care." He went out of the door without giving me a second glance.
Again. Silence.
I just stared out the window at the snow outside. It must've snowed last night.
The brightness and the light the snow was reflecting hurt my eyes, and I felt tears swimming in my eyes.
I am pathetic- crying like that.
I want to apologize to him- but I don't know if I'll be able to say it out loud and not break off in the middle and start yelling out stuff at him again.
That's what's so different between us. I can't even trust myself to go up there to him and say sorry because I know he'll do something to piss me off unintentionally- and we'll end up fighting again.
The thought strangely made me laugh.
And that's how I realized how much I am dependant on him. More than Renji. More than probably anyone.
And that's saying something, because I'm a very independent person. You must know that by now.
And well, I don't really blame him for walking out on me. If he'd said things like I did for his mom for Nee-san, I would've done more than just walk out the door.
It's the first time I saw him want to control his temper.
It's just too hard to let go right now. Or to do anything else for that matter.
Renji, Ishida, Hitsugaya, Inoue and even Rangiku have been calling endlessly.
They must really miss me, seeing as Rangiku never calls me unless all of her 159 friends are busy or unavailable.
What the heck is wrong with me?
17th January, 2011 (Monday) 8.00 p.m
My fever's broken. Well- my temperature is around 99 degrees still but that's good enough for me. But I felt pissed, depressed and murderous, so I decided to stay home from school if I didn't want any accidents happening. I stayed in bed, watching TV or ordering pizzas. I didn't get up at all the whole day except for the restroom.
Again, my friends are not letting me live in peace at all. And I haven't picked any calls from any of them. Not to mention- Ichigo didn't call at all.
I can hear him practicing his bass next door.
It's funny- I completely forgot that he lived next to me, and not with me. After Yuzu's accident, and now this- I've grown so accustomed to sleeping in the same bed with him. Yeah, during my fever he stayed in bed with me until I fell asleep. It just felt too comfortable to know that I wasn't alone- even if I was.
Ichigo didn't go to school either today- I could hear some glass jars shattering as he swore out loudly-all throughout the morning next to my place. He was trying to make breakfast. I couldn't help smiling as he yelled around. It sounded unbelievably cute for some reason.
And speaking of his bass, he doesn't play that bad at all. I guess the last time when I heard him play it so disastrously was because he was drunk.
I feel loads better. Six days since Nii-sama's death, and I think I'm finally coming back to reality, you know.
I owe Ichigo a lot.
More than I think I do.
18th January, 2011 (Tuesday) 6.05 p.m.
The Airline Company of the plane that crashed gave us a huge amount of money- like they have to all the families of the victims of the crash. I told Urahara to donate the money somewhere- we have enough money as it is.
Nii-sama's death seems a matter of the past now.
I feel very light-headed today and so I went to school, and everyone attacked me with questions.
"Why hasn't Kurosaki-kun come?" Orihime asked anxiously. Ichigo didn't come today either. I guess he wants to sort some stuff out or something, because he can't be depressed over me, it's not worth it and he knows better than to do that. Nevertheless, I did feel disappointed to know he was absent. I had really wanted to talk to him.
"I shrugged "I don't know, Inoue. I'm sure he's fine." I added with a smile.
"HEEEEEYY!" Renji jumped on me as he came running to us from the senior class that had just been dismissed.
"I'm glad you're back. Why didn't you answer any of our calls?" Uryuu asked.
I told them I was too sick.
"Is Kurosaki okay?" asked Hitsugaya, giving me a knowing look.
I nodded, but then I looked him in the eye, and he understood I meant the exact opposite.
Tatsuki was with Grimmjow and his people as usual. At first when I came to school- everyone was staring at me. I guess I had to be the centre of attention- I was the reason why Tatsuki broke-up with Renji in front of half the student body, and I had recently lost my brother- famous business man Byakuya Kuchiki. Of course they had an interest in me.
But the most shocking thing was when we caught Tatsuki and Grimmjow making out in the fire escape on the third floor- where not many of the students except our friend-circle used to go.
Renji was hard to contain- it took all of my, Uryuu's, Toshirou's and Matsumoto's strength to pull him back and not knock Grimmjow out. We pulled him out and backed away in a corner so that Tatsuki and Grimmjow wouldn't
notice us. Grimmjow is pretty hefty, and he has his friend jocks who look damn strong. The last thing we wanted was to get into a fight with them.
And if Tatsuki thinks kissing Grimmjow is the right thing, then let her do it. She'll realize her problems soon enough. Now that I'm thinking a little clearly, all of us have our own problems to deal with, and Renji is the one who's more hurt that he could possibly ever be in his life. Although Tatsuki didn't look like she particularly liked kissing Grimmjow, more like she wanted to make herself enjoy it.
Well, I don't care anymore.
I found myself not caring much about anything today actually, except for Ichigo and his absence.
It's good to be back to school with all my friends. Everyone except for him- the one person I really want to get back in terms with.
And so, now that I think I'm better and have a comparatively easier and normal life; there's one last thing I need to do.
A/N: Yeah, she's going to apologize in the next chapter :D
Oh, and I changed the summary of this story- just something that struck me while I was typing :P
I thought I could make two chapters out of this one, but then that'll be dragging things too much. Hope this wasn't too rushed or anything.
Thankyou all for reading, and please review ;)
Hope you're there for the next chap :)
~SS~