Chapter 2: Just a girl
That same night Kalinda hung out with the security guard of the building next to the crime scene. It was a guy in his twenties and she had tried everything, but nothing seemed to be working. Not the husky voice. Not the suggestive smile. Not the slow lip licking. She felt tired and a bit disheartened. Her feigned charm usually worked like, well, a charm, but not tonight. Perhaps she still felt strange, because Zach had managed to rattle her. Inside she was just a girl; Kalinda shuddered at the thought. Just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her. What utter bullshit. A smile came to her face as she remembered going to see Notting Hill when she was younger. Her friends had loved it – yes, she had friends back then – and giggled whenever Hugh Grant came on screen. She hadn't even bothered to pretend she liked it. The faux romance and sentimentality of it was nauseating. She bid the security guard goodnight and went outside. The night was dark and the sky was starless as far as everyone in Chicago was concerned.
'I know what you're doing.'
The warm voice in her ear caught her unaware and she slid her hand into her bag and palmed her small handgun. Chiding herself for letting her thoughts distract her and allowing someone the opportunity to sneak up on her, she turned around. It was only Zach. Had he followed her? That was a disturbing thought. That was neither cute nor amusing, but straight up stalker. Her face carefully registered boredom as she regarded him.
'Yes? What's that?' she asked. He leaned against the wall of the building. This time he pulled off the pose. Somehow it was manlier now, and less like a boy trying to impress a girl. He was genuinely relaxed. Her hand let go the gun and she closed her bag. Zach seemed in no hurry to speak. She clenched and unclenched her gloved hands as he watched her. The leather stretched tight over her knuckles and the muscles flexed underneath the fabric.
'Going through life alone. Not trusting anyone, not making any friends, not loving anyone, so no one can hurt you.'
She half smiled, but though she had to look up at him it was a rather condescending smile. Men and women were in the end exactly the same. For some reason they found it much easier to imagine she was a poor lost girl than the cynical woman she actually was. Life had made her that way, and yes, life had been hard. However, she was not looking for someone to help her over her trust issues. She didn't need to be rescued, or cuddled or loved. Least of all by him.
'Ah, is that what I'm doing? I thought I was just doing my job,' she drawled and tried to walk away from him, but he asked her to wait. Before she could say or do anything he had entered the building and through the window she saw him talking to the security guard. After a few minutes Zach ruffled his own hair and she could hear him laugh. The security guard laughed too and went into his booth. He handed whatever it was to Zach and Zach waved at him as he left.
'Here,' he said as he shoved a piece of paper into her hand. She read the note. It was a short notation of the time the guard had seen their client enter and come out of the adjacent building the previous week. The time of death had been set between eight and nine at night and the security footage shown on television had filmed their client leaving the building at a quarter to ten. However, the security camera had been a moving one and her entrance had not been recorded. The note stated she had arrived only at half past nine. This might be what they needed to clear her.
'Thanks,' she said.
'Want to go out on a date with me sometime?' Zach asked and she frowned. His face looked flushed and he suddenly appeared a tad anxious. It had been quick and clever, though; she had to hand him that. After doing her a favour he saw his chance to ask for a favour in return and grabbed it. Unfortunately, he was a boy and Alicia's son at that.
'Well, well, look at you being shrewd,' she scoffed and began to walk. He fell into stride beside her with his hands in his coat pockets. All she could hear was the sound of her heels clicking on the pavement and their breaths. Zach's thread was noiseless; his shoes didn't so much as scuff the concrete. His stride was confident and his long legs moved effortlessly. Meanwhile, her feet were starting to hurt. It had been a long night and she felt worn out. She was not up for the verbal sparring that was about to ensue at any rate; if he was adamant about getting a date out of the deal.
'Not really a boy, am I?' he asserted in response. The night air was cold and when she was sure he wasn't looking she glanced at him. Perhaps she had to revise her opinion about him a little bit. It was true that he did not look eighteen or whatever his age was. He was tall and slender. His hair was short and it looked much better than the Beatles style mop-top he had sported four years ago. When it came down to it she had to admit he was quite attractive. Indeed no longer a boy, but it would not do to tell him that. Nonetheless, he was much too young and doe eyed. Not really her taste.
'Little boys have their moments too,' Kalinda said. She saw him flinch at the offensive adjective: little, but his gaze remained steadily focused on her. Weary, she sighed and asked, 'Are there no girls your age you can harass?'
'They are girls; I want a woman,' he responded quickly. It seemed he had thought this over before, because he needed absolutely no time to formulate an answer. Kalinda considered adolescent fantasies and it was a good thing that she didn't blush easily or she would have at this moment. She knew what fantasies of boys his age were like and to think that she might have been the subject of one of his was flattering and off putting at the same time. Now it was more than a fantasy, because he had asked her out. Everything he did and said made it clear that he was interested in her. He wanted a woman and she was that woman.
'I'll tell you a little secret. Inside, every woman is still just a girl,' she whispered, leaning closer. The intimacy of their physical closeness notwithstanding, he knew she was mocking him. With a disappointed look on his face, he stepped back. When she thought about the conversation later, she realised he had been surprised that she would try to pull that bullshit on him. As if they had a connection, which they hadn't, or were friends, which they weren't. She had no idea why he expected special treatment. Will didn't even get exemption from her caustic wit and he was her boss.
'You're not. I know you're not,' he protested and instantly he had reverted to a boy again. His voice sounded almost hurt and his objection was preposterous, as was his earlier claim to know about her life. He knew nothing about her, except her name and occupation. Since her name was not her actual name and she doubted he understood exactly what her profession entailed, he knew nothing. The conversation was dragging on and she wanted to put on end to it.
'You seem to know a lot. It's becoming a bit tiresome.'
Kalinda added a yawn for calculated extra effect. It worked; Zach immediately fell back. Gone were the attempts to keep up with her and the sideway glances at her legs. Eventually, he stopped altogether and reluctantly she turned around.
'I'm sorry if it is, because I want to get to know you better,' he said sincerely. The meaning of this phrase was not lost on Kalinda. In the world of teenagers it is code for 'I want to get into your pants.' Undoubtedly, that was Zach's intention also, yet she could not shake the feeling that his expression had been heartfelt. He told her it had been nice talking to her, which was a lie and started to walk in the opposite direction. For the second time that night she watched him leave and there was no lingering look from him now. It was Kalinda who faltered.
'How did you get anything out of him?' she called after him and he turned around. Slowly, he approached her. The touch of his hand on her wrist was unexpected. His fingers were warm, despite the cold and his failure to wear gloves. What was even more unexpected was the unfamiliar tingle that she felt at the innocent touch. He leaned closer, his voice a whisper.
'Flirting. It's easy if you don't care. I'm sure you know that.'
He looked at her and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. Instead his fingers slipped off her wrist, he mumbled goodnight and left. There had been no judgment in his look, yet, she was left wanting. I'm sure you know that. Yes, she did. If she wanted anything, she used her feminine wiles to get it. She always had and she rarely felt ashamed. It was just an easy way of accomplishing her goals. Being made to feel ridiculous and ashamed all in one night, wasn't that great? It must run in the Florrick family.