Carlisle POV
I could feel my body weakening, my own self-sustaining energy depleting rapidly as the hours passed...days passed. The burn in the back of my of my throat intensified, the craving that had built in the pit of my stomach put me in agony. All I could see was red. All I could feel was the bloodlust. All I knew was that fact that somewhere outside of my seclusion was life...life that was supposed to be mine for the taking. Life that was supposed to flow in a crimson stream down the back of my throat, queching the burn and satiating the craving. Life that I was suffering to abstain from.
It had taken all I had to remove myself from the mass of rotten potatoes where I had spent those torturous hours in Hell itself. I had crawled myself out of cellar and had fled into a dry forest. No life resided here, so I thought I would be safe, away from Satan's temptations, away from civilization, away from any life. But the pain followed, the cravings followed, the wants and needs followed me into the barren forest. Will I never be relieved? Shall I forever be punished for something I had no part of? I never asked to be a monster! I never asked become this demon! I never asked to crave and want another beings life! I never asked...so why should I suffer?
Why should I suffer? It is known that even humans think things similar to that. Why should they suffer through famine and war, sickness and death? Those who never find the answer, come up with their own... They end the suffering themselves.
But could I? Could I take my own life? Could I take my own life, and know that I did it on a selfish whim, to end my own suffering? Could I hand back the gift of life so ungratefully? There was no punishment that God could give me for my suicide that did not already match the ongoing pain of my life now. It was either die, relieve myself of the conscious agony...or suffer forever more.
But how? How does a demon destroy itself?
Jasper POV
The emotions swirled around me in a neverending maelstrom as the war raged on. I watched as bloodthirsty newborns ran amuck, childishly provoking fights with eac hother. Watching from afar I couldn't help but feel sorry for the young ones. They did not know...did not know that this was a test, that they were meant to die-only the strongest ones surviving long enough to join the real fight. And I was meant to watch, watch and observe. Watch as they madly ripped each other apart, watch as burning limbs were flung through the sky-looking almost like falling stars. Watch as lives were taken away...and feel it happen as I absorbed their frantic emotions.
I frequently found myself wondering how I got to the point, how I became the driving force of a supernatural war, how I encouraged the art of ripping and tearing, burning and fleeing. And how I had to live through feeling every emotion everyone around me has ever felt. The young ones have such fleeting and strong emotions-such as now- I find myself getting dizzy. And all because I broke the rules, signed up for a war before my time, came across a woman... and now I don't even know who I really am. I'm not the simple farm boy I used to be, I'm not the Confederate soldier I was trained to be... I'm something else entirely. Something that can sit idle and watch with a clear expression and people tore the arms and legs off of others and threw them into a pyre. Something that can take the life of another being without a moments hesitation.
Something...so unnatural, so calmly cruel...it shouldn't exist.
"Somewhere on this night a life is out there, and can someone tell me how?
Here on this night so far away, bits of starlight fall where they may"
A/N: Voila! I know it's short, but I thought you guys would enjoy some juxtaposing thoughts from Carlisle and Jasper! :DD Anywhoo...reviews are loved!