Title: Hotels Are the Worst
Rating: ( T )
Pairing: Prentiss/Haley, I guess...?
Summary: For some reason Rossi, Prentiss, and JJ are shipped off with Strauss for a case when someone breaks into the hotel. The all hell ensues... at least until a long lost someone brings by a simple gift making them wonder.

A/N: Again, let me warn you, characters are selected at random and these stories are written out of carelessness and a turn off of common sense. That is the main basis of these I don't know what to call them... parodies, maybe? Ah well who cares? Just sit back and enjoy.

"So what's this one about?" Emily Prentiss groaned, sitting on the bed next to Jennifer Jareau.

"Three boys gone missing in the last two weeks. All of them were sexually abused and sodomized." JJ spoke sadly, thinking of Henry.

"They all have brown hair and green eyes. He might be trying to recreate a fantasy." Erin Strauss reckoned.

"Shouldn't we wait for Rossi to get over his burrito troubles before getting into this?" Prentiss glanced over at the bathroom then back at the two blonde women.

"Good point." JJ nodded. Suddenly there was a large bang and the three women jumped back at the woman who had joined them in their hotel room by force. The man in the latrine was in too much pain to care. She lunged straight for the black haired woman. JJ and Strauss weren't worried or stunned until the woman thought to be Haley Hotchner ripped out one of the lamps and hurled it at Prentiss who had leaped away from the bathroom door when it opened. Fuoriserie Lamp met David Rossi and both crashed to the ground.

By this time the blonde ladies had whipped up some popcorn and were relaxing on the bed, finding great enjoyment out of the women fighting for no apparent reason.

Disoriented, Rossi finally came to and to his surprise there were two women grappling on the floor while the two others were sitting on the bed with popcorn, chanting names and techniques, and choosing sides. What shocked him was who was for whom: JJ took on the role of Haley's coach while Strauss was on Prentiss' side. This was crazy! He went up behind the woman he hated and threw her out the same broken window Haley had climbed through, and stole JJ's popcorn.

"Hey!" She completely forgot about Emily and Haley, and chased after Dave, running at full speed over everything until Haley's foot got in the way, catapulting the liaison and author out the window. Said author landed first on something that didn't feel like concrete or dirt, but he didn't have enough time to think about that when something moderately heavy dropped on him. Tilting his head as far as his weakened body could, he saw the Section Chief below him, clearly dead, and JJ breathing heavily on top of him.

Upstairs in the second floor hotel, Prentiss finally grabbed the upper hand, straddling the other woman when she caught sight of new bowls and popcorn, and what looked like to be DVDs. "Wanna watch a movie?" She hoped that would calm Haley down, which it did immediately.

"Sure." Emily stood, helping Haley to her feet. Together they tested the popcorn before analyzing their collections of movies, all old school horror movies. Haley was the one who spotted the card taped onto one and freed it. "Seems like you had a rough day, Jason Gideon."

Prentiss shrugged, and Haley tossed the card into the pile of movies. "Cool, what do you want to watch first?"