What If No One's Watching? Chapter 24: Mama's Boy, an icarly fanfic

Chapter 24: Mama's Boy

Disclaimer: Whoo! Now, iCarly is mine! Oh, wait, hold on...oh, Dan said it was just an iCarly poster. Dang.

Note: Julefor gave me my 300th review. You guys are great. Since you define awesomeness, I decided to give you this chapter a little early, and I won't even make you jump through some hoops to get it. I will probably post the next chapter tomorrow night. Again, thanks for all the reviews.

Day 13

Freddie Benson woke up Saturday morning feeling the best he had since at least the last PearPad release. No, probably all the PearPad releases combined. He had gone on a date with Sam Puckett and not only survived it, but he was still her boyfriend at the end of it. In some ways, he didn't think that was possible. He tried to put up a brave face for Sam, not only because he knew she would make fun of him if she saw how afraid he was that the night would go badly, but because he didn't want her to think he didn't believe in her. He did. He always had. She just sometimes had an issue believing in herself.

But everything had worked out better than even he had possibly hoped. He had spent most of the night in the park, not watching the movie, but looking at her when he felt she didn't know it, tracing the curve of her neck, watching the breeze blow her hair, catching the burst of laughter from her beautiful lips when somebody had been disemboweled by the killer. Perhaps he should have paid more attention to the movie, though. Maybe he would have realized that attacks seldom comes from where a person thinks they would.

He left his room. If his mom wasn't already up, he would grab some donuts he had secreted away.

But she was up. She was sitting at the kitchen table, as if she had been there for hours, just waiting for him.

"Freddie, we need to talk."

The world is ending. That was Spencer's first thought. He shook his head once, then twice, in an attempt to get the image out of his mind, sure that he was dreaming. Because as much as he lived a little left to reality, he could still recognize what was real and what wasn't.

And Sam Puckett up at eight in the morning and cooking, that wasn't reality.

"Hey, Spencer, you want some pancakes?" She smiled at him and tilted the pan at him. There was indeed a pancake in there.

"Sure." She nodded and turned back to the stove. Maybe a unicorn will pop out of the syrup bottle. That will prove I'm still asleep and dreaming. Oh, you vile unicorns.

She brought two plates over and handed him one. He grabbed the syrup bottle and was slightly surprised that there were, indeed, no unicorns. He handed the bottle to Sam, who let the syrup drizzle over her pancakes while she...she was humming. Sam Puckett was humming!

"Sam, are you okay?"

"Sure, why?" He looked at her.

"OMG, you're in love. Holy fructose, you're really in love!"

"Shut up, Spencer. Give me those pancakes." She reached out to grab his plate, but he pulled it back in time.

"Wow, I knew you guys liked each other, but loooooove..."

"Shut up!" And Sam let her head drop on the counter.

Spencer got up and came around to her. He patted her on the back. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to tease you. It's good that you guys love each other."

"But he's such a dork."

Spencer grinned. "But you think dorks are hot."

Sam's shoulders sagged. He heard her say, her voice muffled as her head was still on the counter, "you want some bacon?"

"Bacon would be delightful."

"What's up, Mom?"

He sat across from her. Normally, he would sit in the seat next to her, so that they were catty-corner to each other, but he had seen the look on her face. Plus, he had spent years around Sam Puckett. He had learned many of the signs that a confrontation was coming. Also, he and his mother started having more of these conversations within the last year, arguing about the tick baths, curfews, mother-and-son activities.

"I wanted to talk to you about Samantha." She sighed Sam's name.

"She prefers Sam." He didn't like the tone she was setting, so he figured he might as well make a line in the sand from the get-go.

"Sam, then. Do you really think being with her is the best thing for you?"

"Why didn't you bring this up yesterday, Mom?" She didn't say anything. "You let me borrow the car. Was that because you figured that the date would be so disastrous that we would never go out again?" His mother grimaced. He was right, of course. I'm probably going to be valedictorian, and yet so many people think I'm stupid. I know I can be gullible, but why do they think I'm stupid? "Really, that's it? You were hoping for me to have a lousy date?"

"Of course not, Freddie. You know that I want your happiness above anything else. I just don't think Sam Puckett is the person who can provide you that happiness."

"And who can? Carly? Oh, wait, I forgot you hate her, too."

"She almost got you killed."

"No, I almost got me killed, trying to save her. Which I would have done for Sam. Or Spencer. Or Gibby. Or you."

"You should never have been put in that position," Mrs. Benson said.

He waved that off. He couldn't let her control the conversation, or he would already have lost.

"Sam's my girlfriend."

"You could find somebody better..."

"I love her," he said. He said it quietly, but there was no doubt in his voice, and his mother stopped. They looked at each other over the silence that had taken its place at the table.

"Sam?"

"What's up, Carly? Want some bacon?"

"Uh, thanks." She took a piece. "Is there a reason Spencer is duct-taped to the couch."

"Something I learned at school. I wanted to try it out." Carly looked at Spencer, who was struggling. She went over and removed the tape from his mouth.

"I said I was sorry," he panted.

"What did he do, Sam?"

"He said I loved Freddie."

"But you do love Freddie."

"Okay, but he made a song about it." Carly looked at Spencer, who gave her a smile. She shrugged and put the tape back over his mouth.

"Will you let him loose soon?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Okay, I'm going to take a shower."

"You love her?"

"Yes."

"Freddie, that's ridiculous. You're a young man, and young men always think they're in love. In no time, you will find somebody else, somebody more suitable for you."

"I've liked Sam for years, Mom. This last year or so, I've realized I love her. I don't see it going away." Remember, your body is steel. It cannot be moved. As soon as she sees a tremble, a shake, even a blink, she will tear you down.

"She's no good for you, Freddie. She's rude. And she's violent. And she's not at your level, intellectually. I've heard you talk about her grades, and she seems rather dumb."

"Sam Puckett is not dumb." Marissa Benson visibly recoiled from the look on her son's face. This was not her delicate boy, her fragile son.

"Okay...well, she doesn't apply herself as she should." She relaxed, as the iron left his eyes. You're still losing him. You can't lose him, she thought.

"No, she hasn't applied herself, but she has been recently. With my help. And Sam is one of the smartest people I know. And I love her."

"But..." He waved her off. Freddie Benson, who had always received remarks on every report card about his respect and politeness in elementary school, waved his mother off.

"Here's what I see happening. You can continue to try to tear Sam and me apart. You can forbid me to see her."

She sat forward, not realizing the trap he had set.

"And," he continued, "when I graduate I will be going to MIT. Or one of the other schools on the East Coast. Between scholarships and a job, maybe a loan, I would be able to handle tuition, even if you won't help me. Of course, that would probably make me so busy I wouldn't even be able to come back for Christmas vacation."

He had voiced it, the fear that kept her awake long after sleep should have claimed her. Her son was going to be a man, and when that time came, he would run away from her as fast as he could.

"And if I don't do those things?" she asked.

"Well, I've been accepted to several colleges around here. There are a lot of good Information Technology departments, plus I've been looking into getting a film degree. I mean, my family is here. As are my friends."

"What are you going to do if she breaks up with you, Freddie? What if she breaks your heart?"

"Sam won't break my heart. She might break my finger, but never my heart." He smiled at the horrified look on his mother's face. "Mom, if she breaks my heart, then no matter what she'll still be my friend, whether she wants it or not. That's who we are. I wish you could see the Sam Puckett that I see."

"Freddie, I'm not just going to let you dictate your life right now. You're still a minor."

"I know. And you're still my mom, and I will love you no matter what. I'm just telling you what I plan to do, based on what you plan to do. And I want you to know what's important to me."

They stared at each other for a while. She was so angry at him, and yet she saw that he could somehow make it without her following behind him with an industrial-sized first-aid kit. The thought both saddened her and eased her.

"Okay," she said. They both visibly relaxed. Finally, he moved to a chair closer to her.

"I need you to do something else, Mom."

Carly looked at the text from Gibby. He had invited her to the zoo that afternoon, making sure to emphasize they would go nowhere the petting zoo. She texted back that she would be happy to go.

She was about to let Sam know, when Sam's phone buzzed. Sam looked at it.

"Freddie wants me to come over tonight. Boy can't get enough of me." Carly laughed at the difference between the bravado of Sam's words and the pleased and nervous look on her face.

"Cool. I'm going to the zoo with Gibby. What are you going to do while I'm gone?"

"Nap," the two of them said together.

"Spencer, get away from the couch. I'm gonna sleep."

"I'm still trying to find all my hair," he said, lifting a cushion.

She had texted Freddie that she was coming over, so she was surprised for the second day in a row that his mother answered the door.

"Hello, Sam. It's nice to see you." Sam eyed her warily. Mrs. Benson looked like somebody was holding a gun to her head off-camera while she read a prepared note.

"Hey, Mrs. B, what's shaking?"

"Nothing at the moment, dear. Just heading to work. I hope you and Freddie have a nice evening."

"Cool," Sam said, and headed to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. People were used to this behavior from her, and neither Freddie or his mom noticed as she watched them communicate nonverbally. Freddie held out his hands and scrunched up his lip, as if to ask, what was that? Mrs. Benson rolled her eyes and mouthed I'm trying.

"Okay, Mom, have a good night at work." He walked her to the door, and the two of them whispered furiously to each other. Sam heard Mrs. Benson say something about "protection", and Freddie pushed her gently out the door. When he turned around, he was blushing.

"What's with your mom, Benson?"

"You know. She can barely control her glee at the two of us being together."

"Yeah, I was getting that. So what's on the agenda for tonight?" Both of them thought of what Mrs. Benson had mentioned, and they both struggled to not show it.

"I actually have something special planned," Freddie said. He reached down and picked something off one of the chairs and put it on the table.

Sam looked at it. "No, no, no. You suck. That is not happening."

"What, Sam?"

They stood on opposite sides of the table. Between them on the table was an English textbook.

"You're not my tutor anymore, Freddie."

"Okay, how much did you learn learn from Reuben?"

"Well, Robert Frost wrote a lot about wash barrel tacos."

"Exactly. You have a big test on Monday. And I know you haven't been studying, since you've been concentrating on the pranks."

She groaned. "What's it matter, Freddie? I just need to do well enough to get through this year, and then no more schooling for Sam."

"Except for college."

"What makes you think I can get into college?"

"Carly already told me you got accepted. And I can't have the people I hang out with at college think my girlfriend's a dummy."

She looked at him. He had known this conversation was going to be much worse than the one he had with his mother. His mom had years of built-up guilt at her disposal, but she was not the master of pain that Sam was.

"You're going to college here?"

"That's the plan."

"That's stupid. Didn't you get accepted to MIT?"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't want to be away from my mom."

"Freddie, don't tell me I'm not stupid and then act like I am. You can't do that. You're doing it for me, and I won't let you do it."

"Doesn't matter. I'm still doing it."

"What if I break up with you?"

Your body is steel. "I am still doing it."

"This is so stupid, Freddie. You deserve to go to MIT, not be held back by me."

"I never wanted to go to MIT. I do want to be with you, Sam. But I'm not going to change my mind just because you're threatening to break up with me. Actually," he said, feeling his muscles tense, "we might want to end it anyway, because the Sam Puckett I fell in love with isn't a coward."

She was fast. Sometimes he forgot that. She was at him, with his shirt bunched in her hands before he realized it. "You calling me a coward?"

"You're threatening to break up with somebody you love just because it's easier for you to adhere to the common opinion about you, rather than make the effort to prove them wrong. Seems cowardly to me."

"You're playing me," she said.

"What?"

"You think you know me better than I know you, Benson. You think I don't see you trying to push my buttons?"

She pushed him away, and turned from him.

He moved behind her. "Is it working?"

She could walk out the door. Nobody, not even Freddie Benson, manipulated her. Except that he was trying to manipulate her for her own good, or at least as he saw it.

"Is it working?" he repeated.

"Why was your mother being nice to me?" she asked. As she had hoped, that caught him off guard.

"My mother's a nice person," he said, weakly.

"Freddie."

"I made her."

"How did you make her, Freddie? She's not really fond of me or Carly."

He stepped back a few steps, and she turned around. "We had a conversation today. About you. She didn't think you were good for me. I disagreed. And I told her if she tried to interfere with us or our relationship that I would go to college on the East Coast. Away from her."

"You did that for me?"

"Somewhat. I did it for me, too." He moved to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She tensed at first, and then relaxed.

"Don't you think you're moving a little fast there, Freddork? You're gambling your future on me, and we might not even make it through the week."

"I happen to think you're worth gambling on, Sam, and I didn't lie. I don't want to go to MIT. Even if we weren't together, I would still want to be here. I still want to be near my friends."

"Okay, fine, I was almost afraid you were going to ask me to marry you or something."

"Oh, man, did Carly tell you about the ring?"

"What?" Freddie began laughing. She punched him in the arm, but he still laughed. She thumped him in the forehead. Still laughing. Finally, she kissed him. That stopped his laughter.

"I don't want to study, Freddie."

"Come on, we'll only do it for a little bit, then we can do whatever you want."

"You never want to tell Sam Puckett we can do whatever I want. You might not survive."

"How about for every five minutes, you get a kiss."

"That sounds like it's rewarding you more than me, Freddie."

"Okay, how about this?" He got up, then paused. "You have to say you love me first, so that I don't think you're unduly influenced."

"Freddie."

"Sam."

"Fine. I love you. Dork."

"Good." He went to the fridge and opened it. He reached behind the fish casserole he knew Sam wouldn't touch and pulled out a package. He held it up for her to see.

"Bolivian bacon?"

"Yep, you get that now. If you study with me for two hours I will let you have the rest that are coming in the Bacon of the Month club."

"You know, I don't think you've ever been studlier than you are now. Let's study."

They went over the book. Freddie cooked the bacon. She actually let him have half a piece, so he felt secure in the fact she did indeed love him.

Finally, they were done.

"You did good, Sam."

"Of course, I'm awesome."

He laughed. "You ever think that maybe you have multiple personalities?"

She laughed. "So now we get to do whatever I want."

"Of course."

"You know, I've always wanted to be a mother."

"What?" He saw her smiling. Well, he should have expected that. Nobody could pull something over on Sam Puckett and not expect it to come back to them.

"Sorry, Sam, my mom told me I have to use protection," he said, and was satisfied when she looked away. Then he felt heat rise in him as he realized the topic they were circling. "So, uh, what would you like to do, Princess?"

"You ever been bungee jumping?"

A/N:

Wow, almost everybody used the word "tintinnabulation" in their reviews. You guys are awesome.

Thank you for reviews from: afanoffanfic, Icarlya, BkwormSarah, kiyokoesddie, SeddierFTW, PurpleJerk, seddieSUPERFAN101, fireman35, Kaitley, iBloodbenderSeddie, wazzabinho, ShooshYeah35, EmileyHelene, UnderxGravity, Semi-CrazyWithaLittleWeirdness, Moviepal, clarksonfan, cynthiarox99, Tbayleyt, Julefor, and Divina Rose.

afanoffanfic: Yeah, that's where I first heard the word. It also happens to be my favorite word ever; it's like a poem within itself.

Icarlya: Well, to Spencer, swans and fire trucks made more sense than birds and bees. That's just Spencer.

BkwormSarah: Thanks about the poem. At the beginning of the story, that was the part I worried about the most, because I've never been good at poetry. Of course, since then we have moved a far way from that part of the story I thought was going to play a bigger part.

SeddierFTW: definitely a Sam kind of date, I think. Although, if they last, I wouldn't be surprised that she eventually admits to Freddie that she's seen each Galaxy Wars movie at least a dozen times.

PurpleJerk: Is it bad that I had a dream that I actually had that job? As for the dates, I almost did actually have them do a double-date, but I just thought that it would be more interesting to contrast the dates, which were good ones for both couples, but in different ways. I'm mostly pleased with the way it worked out.

Kaitley: I have in my life met more than one person who I thought was a complete goofball, only to find out that they were often smarter than me.

iBloodbenderSeddie: Wow, thank you for the dedication. I am also one of those who stays up late to finish reading something I like, and I am happy that I was able to do that for you (not the lack of sleep, though-sorry).

ShooshYeah35: The verbal sparring is part of what makes them, much more than the physical aspect that used to be part of their relationship (well, Sam's part of it). I think they should be able to do a good job interweaving the new romance with the tried-and-true aspect of their relationship. And Sam and Freddie are comfortable with each other; it's just the new stuff like kissing they have to learn to deal with. Seems like they're doing okay so far.

EmilyHelene: I hope this chapter showed that there still some ebbing and tiding to be done.

UnderxGravity: I fully cop to the cliche of the staring-into-the-eyes thing, but some things are cliche for a reason. Actually, first dates, especially those during the teenage years, are full of cliche. So I guess I'll just have to say sorry on that one, but all in all, I'm still okay with it. That was what I was trying to say in Spanish. It looks like I at least came close to it, so that's gravy.

clarksonfan: I may have screwed up a previous day, but this is definitely day 13 (it started on a Monday, and this is the second Saturday).

Julefor: Well, I only have three chapters left, so I decided to cut out the explanation of what Freddie and Spencer were doing. No, I'm just kidding. You will find out in the next few chapters. I also think that the more important thing about Sam and Freddie's relationship is not only that they accept the type of person the other is, but how that other person behaves is part of the reason they love each other (although that won't stop them from teasing each other about it). I could almost see Gibby and Carly together on the show, but that's more because of Carly; they would have to nail down the actual Gibby character before it would work. The civilized culmination of the prank war just made sense to me: except for the one jerk, Steve, it wasn't personal. Sam wanted it for her own reasons, and Rodney wanted it for profit, but at the end of the day they were able to admire what the other had done and say let the best person win.