An Impossible Reality
Chapter 7- I Want To Hit Them In The Face!
Disclaimer- I unfortunately, after much therapy and depression I have understood that I don't and won't own twilight or the saga so I can love instead. (My story though!)
Alix POV
The rest of that month was so uneventful you would have thought my social life had died and gone to hell, being replaced with a boring sales accountant's or something. It was pitiful, and what was worse was no one ever crowded Edward, he was left untouched by the worried hands of others, and apologies that never happened to him.
It never made sense. How I was saved. How Edward went unseen, everyone in school had eyes peeled to the Cullen's with any change of social status or anarchy. I wished someone would ask him how HE was, instead of me. There is only so many times a girl can say "I'm fine really!" before she loses the plot.
I brushed down the front of my outfit. It was my crazy print bubble skirt with my yellow tank top, matching the random bits of yellow on the black and white pictures on my skirt. I wore my skin coloured tights underneath the shirt and tucked in the tank, adding my ankle length black boots with a small heel. Barely noticeable if you asked me and they didn't clip clop around my house so that had to be good.
Jacob groaned when I finally emerged from my room. "Does everyday have to be a fashion show with you?" I laughed and placed my hand mockingly on his shoulder.
"Jacob. My dear, dear Jacob, life is a catwalk!" I laughed and walking to the door grabbing my boyfriend jacket off the hook by the door in the hallway. I shrugged it over my head without it knocking my hair out of place. This wouldn't have done much since all I did today was pull my fringe back but I still wanted to look decent. "You giving me a ride or not? I have to get there somehow." I moaned and he nodded, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward his car.
We were at the school in minutes and sighed when everyone was staring at me. "I will be here when you get out of school, I promise." He swore and I nodded. As I reached for the handle I saw him appear outside the window. "I am a gentleman." He mocked a British accent and I hit him with my bag.
"Use that accent again I will disembowel you!" I heard some girls snicker at my comment and he lifted me out of his rabbit. I could feel, for the first time in almost a month, the Cullen's eyes boring into my back. Jakes chest rumbled with me forced into it. "Jake?" I asked and he gasped, like he had forgotten my presence.
"Sorry Alix!" he wailed and was at his door in seconds. "Later." I nodded and he spun off out of the car park and out onto the road. He was so lucky that he had this week off due to maintenance issues at the school on res. I walked lazily toward the school and I was so close to being home free till I was almost knocked off my feet by Jessica.
"Hey Alix!" she cheered. I waved and we walked on through the halls to homeroom. "Do you mind if I um, ask, mike to the dance coming up?" I shook my head and her smile beamed out. "It wouldn't be weird, cos I think he would prefer..."
"It's all good jess, you two will have fun I know it. Plus, I am not gonna be in town." I winked and she continued to chat on about the dance. What she wants it to be like if mike says yes, and also what she wants her dress to look like. I droned out half of her dribble, I was too focused on the story Jake had told me. The cold ones, and he said something about the Cullen's too, did he mean they were... no! No way are they... but then again... STOP IT! Alix they are not what you think they are now, they are just humans, like everybody else, just unnaturally beautiful people.
"Are you sure you won't be in town for the dance?" she begged, falsely, if I wasn't here mike would definitely say yes. I nodded and walked into class. It was creative writing today in English which made me really happy. I love to let my creative juices flow and this was the perfect chance. My pen hit the page and didn't stop until I got cramp in my hand. I began to write again though as soon as the pain had passed.
Lunch came quicker than imagined and I spotted my 'group' surrounding a table near the salad bar. I was never a huge fan of salad but this in particular looked rather nice, and lush. It's probably the cold I thought to myself. "Hey guys!" I cheered and Eric and mike, and even Tyler perked up in my presence. The girls all noticed this and frowned. "What's going on?"
"Beach trip. You in?" Mike laughed taking a swig of his cool-aid. Eric nodded at me in encouragement and I was trying to rack my brain for a reason not to go. I wasn't in the mood to freeze my arse off in the cold for no apparent reason. But then I saw Eric's face, he looked truly excited of the thought of me going, so I would go and be cold, but Jake could always heat me up afterwards.
"La Push baby, it's La Push!" he enthused; make a joke to lighten the mood they could sense reluctance in me.
"Okay I will go if you stop saying, it's really creepy!" I laughed, stealing a piece of cucumber from Angela's plate. She smacked my hand playfully and I walked to the salad bar. I grabbed enough lettuce to cover the bottom of the plate slash bowl thing; it was like half and half. I then added some pieces of cucumber and then discovered one of my all time favourites, baby sweet corn. This stuff was a must have on my carvery dinners; it seemed to taste different than actual sweet corn. I placed about three in and place them in a line but had the outer two on a slant. I added some croutons and some other bits and pieces; my life must be so dull. It's like...
"Edible art?" I jumped in shock of his voice ringing through my ears. I wasn't expecting him to ever talk to me again, which is why I knocked the apple off of the table. He kicked it effortlessly back into his marble fingers and held it out to me. He had blanked me completely since he saved me. I can't believe anyone would ever regret a good deed like this but I guess I hadn't met him before living here. Americans must be strange. (No offense to American people reading my story, I honestly don't think that but that thought would cross my mind if that happened) "Alix."
He held it out to me and I took it, being very careful not to brush his hand. His temperature looked like ice and I did not want confirmation of this being true. "Thanks. You know your mood swings are kind of giving me a whiplash." I sneered. I heard him sigh behind me as I looked to see if there were any other options for my salad. There were none.
"I said it would be best if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be." What the hell!? You cryptic gimp-like idiot!
"What does that even mean?" I was clearly peed off at his evasiveness and he could sense it.
"It means if you were smart, you would stay away from me." I froze in place and forced my head to slowly look up to his angelic features. His eyes were black, they seemed to change colour with mood. He was angry when we first met and they were like coal, yet when he first talked to me his eyes were gold, and now, with rage drenching his tone his eyes are like coal once more. He glanced subtly at his family, the four inhumanely exquisite beings sitting, waiting for their fifth to unite their gathering. I glanced at my own table, the guy's frowning that contact between me and Edward had been kick-started up again. The girls were looking in awe that I had attracted him over here by getting salad.
"Well for arguments sake let's say that I am not smart. Let's say that I am THE dumbest person to ever walk this planet. Would you tell me the truth?" I placed my hand on my hip and leant on the salad bar with the other. My skirt pressed against the metal, chilling my leg but it could wait until I was done giving this boy a talking to.
"No, probably not. I would much rather hear your theories." He smirked to me, and I was ticked. If he wasn't going to take this seriously then neither was I, this is a two player game.
"Now now Edward. Where would the fun be in that? If you want to know so badly, why don't you just hang out with me once in a while? We are all going to a beach on Saturday. Come."
"What beach?" He was considering it? Cool, here is my chance to get to know more about the mystery called Edward Cullen.
"La Push, come on it will be fun. Let loose. Ravage the waves."
He looked over his shoulder, directly at Mike and Eric then turned back to me. "That beach is a little... crowded."
"Well then why don't you read my mind for my theories?" I giggled, taking a bite of my apple once I was done. I swerved away from him and walked off, more like strutting. I heard an angry sigh before his voice boomed through me.
"I can't read YOUR mind!" his angelic voice hissed. I was truly shocked. I thought he was some sweet kind of gentleman but the hostility in his voice was enough to wipe that whole thing away forever.
"Well then patience is gonna be needed then." I heard a few giggles and his bigger brother named Emmett was literally rolling on the floor with laughter, but he was eventually getting his ass handed to him by the blonde girl. I tried with great might not to laugh at him, but you know I didn't want to hold it in. I saw him storm out of the cafeteria, his family hot on his heels.
I guess that I was beaming with delight that he was the one upset because when I sat down, Mike and Eric had perked up from the fact that I had made Edward look and most likely feel really small. "Nice!" I heard Mike mutter then Eric almost fell off his chair in fits.
Walking to biology was silent almost. I had left Jessica and Mike alone for a while so she could ask him out but I hadn't seen her smile since. She normally walked as far as possible with us so she could be close to Mike yet she hadn't told me the result. I am definitely sure that I should never ask her, it would kill her to tell me if it was bad news. "Jess asked me to the dance." He sighed. YES!!! She did it; I thought she had chickened out.
"That's great! You two will have a great time together." I enthused, he better have said what I hope he said because if he didn't I swear to the high heavens he will hear my disappointment.
"Well..." he began, oh god no! "I told her I had to think about it." My jaw dropped, he wouldn't! I cannot believe he didn't pick up on the fact that
"Why on earth would you do that?" disapproval was so noticeable the most socially inept would have caught on. My voice was rich with upset and a little hint of anger.
"I was kind of hoping that you were planning on asking me. Ladies choice and everything." I wouldn't... I couldn't... I didn't... come on Alix! Form a complete thought, I knew that he liked me but I thought I had made it real obvious I wasn't going to ask him. I didn't like anyone in our group that way, they were friends nothing more. Although Edward did infuriate and confuse and irritate me every time we seemed to have a conversation, if he asked me, I wouldn't take a second to answer back with evident clarity. YES!
"Mike." I began wondering how I can word this without breaking him down to a quivering puddle of mess. Maybe that would give us something a little more interesting to do in biology if that was to happen. "I am not even gonna be in town, that weekend. Going to Seattle." I excused, I could go see my nana, I have not seen her in a while.
"You can't go another weekend?" oh my god! Give up!!!!
"Family thing. Sorry." Luckily for me, we had just that moment reached biology. Great, I have to deal with Cullen twice in one day.
I sat down and immediately pulled out my sketch pad and began to sketch out music video ideas. If I was never to sing my own songs then others shall, and I get to plan the video. I'm already gone! I wrote in big block letters and just sketching the chorus first. I felt Edward tense up and then I began to hum it. "Do you not like my humming?" I smirked and he gasped at my upfront attitude.
"No it was..." then the teacher walked in and silence surrounded our table. I was still sketching and then it was yanked out from hands by the teacher himself. "Mr. Banner I-" I was cut off by his hand.
"Let's see what I can do with this." I put my face in my palm and I the class suddenly silence. I took a glance up and saw my page I had been scribbling at was on the board being projected from a camera thing, he used it from time to time to show us work sheets. "Very nice, what is it intended to be Miss Allbrighton?"
I hopped up out of my seat and placed my finger to the first box on my comic strip type drawing. "Well, you see these boxes, they are song lyrics. I wrote them, and I got bored waiting for class to start and started to sketch out a music video sequence." I began to sing the lyrics to the class and Edward looked so uncomfortable, like he was shocked that it was me that was singing. "So that is that, may I have the sketch pad back?" I smiled, holding out my hand and Mr. Banner nodded placing it in my hands. "You okay? You look like you just saw a ghost?" I laughed and he nodded, not saying anything to me.
Edward POV (I know first time I have written as Eddie-boy)
I was just there, awaiting the inevitable moment when she will waltz into the room, like she always does, stirring the air and making it next to impossible to not ravish her blood, her sweet, soft, rich, warm- STOP IT!! She is a girl you will NEVER get to drink Edward. You will ruin the whole family if you do so, a war will break out. With those damn werewolves around it's not like we could get away with it, and the last thing we need is exposure.
Then she came in, graceful today, different than normal. The outfit she wore today was a little skimpy for the weather but she seemed to be warm anyway. I kept thinking over her proposal, of going to the beach with her and her 'friends'. Mike Newton, I could hear him almost two classrooms away asking her out. It shouldn't enrage me like it did but I couldn't help but feel like she was being taken away from me. I can't be with her but I can't be without her. This phrase not being used in the same context as normal. I physically am not allowed to be with her, I could kill her but I physically can't stay away from her. It hurts, and for a vampire that is unusually difficult.
I don't think she could do much to Newton to make me happier with her, totally blowing him off with a lie. At least I think it was. I will end up stalking her to Seattle if she wasn't lying; I cannot let her get hurt. She is mine, my beautiful and charming angel. The only thing wrong with that is the 'my' part. She won't mine, she can't. But I'm afraid that with the option the rationally me and the selfish me will battle to the death and selfish me will win.
She pulled out her drawing pad and began to scribble. As usual, I don't think it bothered her anymore, I read over her shoulder. I'm already gone she had written.
-Flashback-
Running around was a great way to loosen the burden of love. I shouldn't love her but I do. She is a human, a heart beating, air breathing, blood pumping human! It is too dangerous to feel this way but I guess there is no choice but to endure the pain of her getting a boyfriend eventually that won't be me. Happened is all I want for her.
Then I heard it. An angelic voice floating through the trees. It was beautiful, it came from past the treaty line, it may have been from one of those rabid werewolves but I didn't care. To enjoy the music is enough for me, the singer does not matter.
What you see's not what you get
With you there's just no measurement
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there
Your eyes they sparkle
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain
You washed away the best of me
You don't care
You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone
Sometimes shattered
Never open
Nothing matters
When you're broken
That was me whenever I was with you
Always ending
Always over
Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster
I am breaking
That habit
Today
You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone
There is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe
Take the hit and walk away
'Cause I'm gone
Doesn't matter what you do
It's what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone
What you see's not what you get
What you see's not what you get
You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone
I'm already gone
Oh, I'm already gone, gone, gone, gone
Already gone
I'm gone
I sighed; I didn't want it to be over. So I began to applaud, so loud I am sure the whole of La Push heard my claps. And soon after they were done and the applause had died down they appeared, angry at my presence. 'He better stay away from her!' I heard Jacob think about me, dumb dog forgot I could read minds but I couldn't see a face just a blur of something beautiful. Why on earth would I want a dog?!
-End of flashback-
I suddenly tensed. It was Alix! My love had sung for me and I had not known. He loves her, he is just as dangerous. She is a danger magnet, why shouldn't I get her if he can get just as close. 'That's not a reason Edward.' My internal spoke to me, I wanted to deny it but that much was true. She was so amazing though, signing in front of the whole class, no shame at all.
I heard nothing. Pin-drop silence was all that could describe it. The only exception was that Mike was chattering on about how THAT was his girl for the future. As if. She has taste, even if the wolves are her perforation. I wanted to just toss him out of the window but I know that not only would that expose us, but also if it went down well with others Alix would definitely not approve.
I smiled when I realised but then it sunk in. I thought to myself that I love her. I LOVE a human. A regular- no not regular, anything but, but still human girl. She smiled that pearly smile and began to laugh lightly. "You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Not a ghost, just my love of my life. I shook my head and sighed, "Nothing it's just, I didn't think you could sing like that. Nice!" I complimented and I assume she didn't expect it as her eyes widened and made me smile crookedly. I could hear her regular heartbeat shoot up in pace for a measly second before returning to the beat. In music that is a syncopated beat, yet I still saw it as perfection.
"Th-thanks!" she spluttered, a little loud and Mike's thoughts darkened. 'What does that pansy asswhole of a gay boy have that I don't. I bet he screws his brothers or something, he probably couldn't even pleasure her like I could.' SNAP! The ink oozed over my granite skin and Alix's eyes shot open from the half asleep daze they currently situated in.
"Edward Cullen!" Mr. Banner exclaimed. Mr. Banner rummaged through his desk before emerging with a bathroom pass and handed it to me. "Go get washed up. Do you have another pen?"
"Yeah." I muttered before rushing out into the corridor. As soon as I was in the bathroom I yanked on my bronze hair and resisted with great difficulty not to bang my head against the wall in frustration. "Stupid!"
"No duh bro!" Emmett boomed. I was so filled with rage that I hadn't even heard his mind, or his approach. I gasped in shock of my absent-mindedness and he began to laugh really loud. "Sorry dude but come on, you listened to that Mike kid right?" I nodded hesitantly and he guffawed again. "Alice saw it I was just fishing to see if you would admit the mistake." I groaned and shoved my hand under the faucet; the ink flushing off my hand like my hand was waterproof.
Alix POV
What is his issue? Strange dude, I mean god. What got him so riled up? I don't even what to know half of the time; it's probably for my best interest. I was instructed to make sure I would NEVER get caught doodling in class again and I am detention free so, bored stiff is the best explanation for my mood right now.
Soon enough Edward reappeared looking more relaxed yet still angry. I was determined not to have anything to do with him, he peed me off too much to talk to him, but of all people I did not expect him to start one with me. "Alix?"
"What? Can't read my mind yet?" he grunted something unintelligible so I let it slide.
"No not yet."
"Then I guess I actually have to answer your questions right? So what's crack-a-lackin Eddie-boy?" I heard an exasperated chuckle before he proceeded to ask his question.
"It's not as much a question as it is a statement. Look I know I have been rude, but it's for the best." WTF!????? That makes no sense! "I mean it would be best if we weren't friends." He explained to me. "Trust me."
My eyes narrowed at this pathetic excuse. For someone who comes out with language like he isn't from the 21st century and more like early 20th. "Well Edward, you really should have thought about that earlier." I hissed. He was going to hear my thoughts behind him saving me. He never said hi. He only cared at the time. In all aspects, he regretted saving my life. "You could have just saved all of this regret."
"Regret? Regret for what?"
"For not letting that... stupid van squish me."
"You think I regret saving your life?" he almost growled, I was still shocked when these moments occurred, not nice Edward!
"I know you do." I sighed, and tried to draw again but the cards were already on the not so steady table so I guess I should take a full swing and see how it all pans out.
"You don't know anything." He snapped before ignoring me again. I wished he wouldn't, the feeling I got when he acknowledged my presence was indescribable. It made me feel... wanted. Not like I wasn't wanted around back home by certain people but, I don't know, the fact that someone so god-like wished to talk to me and explore the inner working of my brain made me feel really significant. Like I was different than any other girl, more intriguing. Either way I felt like that connection to that feeling had just been broken by an irrational thought. Stupid Alix! #~%$! You could have had something good, no chance now.
The bell rang and I gathered my books. Edward did not seem to want to move, although the bells here were so damn loud I doubt he didn't hear one note of the bell's irritating, drone like insistent ringing. I tried my best to dramatically storm out of the room but I stubbed the toe of my ankle boot and was sent descending to the cold, linoleum type flooring that would most likely break my nose in the process. But instead, I felt an ice cold, strong burly arm wrap around my waist, yanking me up at the same time whilst the banging of books I was anticipating had ceased to exist as I spotted the other arm of my saviour holding my clutter of sticking out pages and scribbling doodles. I looked up as he rolled me effortlessly in his arms to see his face. Edward. "Thanks." I said, simply and icily and he chuckled a little.
"You're welcome." I scowled as he set me on my feet and I continued on my trip down the hall. To gym! Yay! (Really bad sarcasm btw)
I walked in to the locker room and slid down the straps of my tank top. Grabbing my blue one I slipped it over my head. After I had done this I removed the yellow tank completely. I pulled out my shorts that were more of a denim type of fabric yet still soft... canvas! That's it. I rooted through my locker to find my canvas white based converse and struggled with my added stress of Edward freakin' Cullen and school work in general made converse the worst shoe choice in the history of ever! Once they were finally on my feet I stroked the signature of my dearest friends. They wrote on in sharpie pens making them personalised and special to me. Sentimental value.
"Alix?" jess dragged me out of my memories "You ready?" I nodded and ran out of the locker room to see they were going to do aerobics. Never knew that other schools did that in other countries but who was I to judge right? I walked out to my mat and they were doing tai-bo first, something we always did back at Fairfield.
We followed the instruction and were then told to proceed to doing push-ups and yoga and stuff. Apparently this was just a trial as I later found out.
Outside the snow was long and so were the dangers... for now. I noticed that Jacob was parked out there as promised. He was so sweet, why couldn't I like him? It would be better for both of us-
"Alix?" I heard Eric call. I groaned. This is either gonna be about the paper or about the dance. Either way his wishes were going to become deflated pretty quickly. I waved and turned, knowing that walking away would be ignorant and rude. There is already one rude guy that is known to me, they don't need a rude girl too. "So umm..." he looked around for any spotting of Mike or Tyler, nothing so he sighed a sigh of relief and relaxed his stature. "I was wondering if you would like to go to the dance with me. You know like ask me, I think we would have a good time."
I sighed and run my hand through my hair. I don't know why this felt familiar but I didn't care. "Eric, I'm not even going. I am out of town that Saturday, sorry." I bowed my head in shame that I had lied to 2 boys already and I felt incredibly awful with Eric, a cute puppy dog face expert. I think because I knew of his feelings for me that it made the face even more effective.
"Hey superstar!" he hollered through the parking lot and I had to let out a laugh. He pulled me into a hug and tickled me a little. "Just cos I felt like it." He whispered and I smacked him on the arm.
"Do you WANT another war between us?" I teased and he shook his head opening the car door for me. He lingered looking toward the Volvo a lot of girls wished they could be in but none were permitted access. I'm not getting my hopes up. I tapped the window at Jake and he hopped in shock before getting in the car. "I'm surprised you fit in here you are forever growing in size." I chuckled. "Unlike your stomach, never have I known someone with such a fast metabolism." He laughed nervously with my boisterous one and started the engine. We were close to being out when suddenly the silver Volvo I watched like a hawk swerved in front on the rabbit.
"What the hell leech!?" Jake exclaimed at him. Leech? What kind of an insult was that? Jake you are one weird compadre.
"Chill your beans Jakers! He's just being an ass." I sighed and then there came a tapping at my side of the car. I saw Tyler Crowley appear there looking anxious and nervous. I rolled down the window with difficulty, Jacob needs to sort that out. Once it was down as far as I could get it I saw a distinct nervous sweat break out on Tyler's forehead. "Hey sorry, Cullen is being a jerk and won't let us through." The last bit got louder and I could have sworn I saw him vibrate with laughter.
"I know, I kind of wanted to ask you something." NO! Please don't Tyler, three guy's turned down in one day is too much to handle. "Will you please ask me to the dance?" NO FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM NOT FRIGGING GOING!!!!!!
"No, I'm not going to be in town Tyler." I said in a simple, and very obvious fake politeness. Kind of like an air hostess has to 24/7.
"Mike said that." ?
"Then why-" I started.
"I was just kind of hoping you were just letting him down easy." Oh my dear god you self centred egoistic bratty little reckless van driving idiot! I wish someone would hit him in the face.
"Well she wasn't so scram kid." Jake smirked, 'thank you' I mouthed and he nodded. Tyler had run off and Jake was now speeding out of the parking lot. "So you're out of town?" I nodded reminding me that I had to call my nana. "Where to?"
"Seattle, gonna visit my nana." I said simply, tapping my hands to the beat of the muse song in the background. "You like muse huh?" he laughed and shook his head. "Then..."
"You like this song, you are always humming it if you're not humming something else. I heard it on the tuner and left it to play for you." How sweet.
"Thanks." I wasn't used to this, cute guy's doing sweet things. Some, I just purely wanted to hit in the face, quite literally, but Jake was different. The one guy I wanted to be sweet and charming and thoughtful was being bi-polar with me. What a gimp.
I don't think I said this in my last chapter and even if I did I am going to say it again, awesome singer Kelly Clarkson's lyrics were used in my two latest chapters and I would like to mention I very clearly didn't write them so there. Also I am trying to set up a YouTube account and sing the songs from my chapters in this story and I am working on the song I mentioned that I actually did write, 'I'm still the same' there won't be any music to it obviously as I lack a band but you know, whatever lols. So yeah, gonna record me singing them then put the link on my profile for you to look at, so you can hear that I do actually sing. Tell me if I suck, if I rock or if you think I don't do either cos I want to go places and you guys are my tickets so pleeeease! Love you!!!
Chapter 8 coming up soon!!!