Disclaimer: see previous
Okay! *claps her hands, summoning Link and Zelda back to the studio*
Link: *still in costume, which is in near-perfect condition* *marches up and grabs the author by the collar* FOUR DAYS! FOUR DAYS YOU LEFT US THERE!
...You might want to back off, Hero. The only reason I'm getting this up now, and not this weekend, is because I've been home sick all day.
Link: *drops her and wipes his hands on his dress (A/N snicker...)*
Zelda? What happened to you?
Zelda: *has lost the coat, is missing a boot, and her hair is a mess* *gasping* The fanboys thought it was cute!
Link: *removes red contact lenses and wig* ...Embarrassing as these are, I suppose they helped hide my identity...
*ahem*?
Link: This is still your fault.
Link/Zelda: *go into their respective dressing rooms to change*
Yes, that's descriptive enough. Now keep that up for the rest of the chapters and you'll do really well. (I'll try and endorse your fic for my last chapter, get some more readers and reviewers for you.)
Ruto: Fine, eat this. -lays out a plate of Zora sushi-
Vaati and young Majora: Go on a date and get into all sorts of wacky shenanigans and hi-jinks that ends with a happy ending.
Everyone that isn't the Author or Sophie: Force Author and Sophie to watch the date in its entirety so that they can't do anything about it. (This is assuming you're both Vaati fangirls.)
Saria: Hi.
Everyone: Two words: Toga. Party.
Ruto and Tingle: You two clean up.
Saria: You're the queen of Hyrule for one day. What do you do?
-keybladeboy
Ruto: *looks at plate and visibly pales* Oh…I suppose I should have seen this coming, huh? *slowly eats each piece* *gags* I think I'm going to be sick… *dashes for girl's dressing room*
Me: *puffs in* I'm sure she'll be fine. Reading ahead… *yanks list out of Emily's hands and hovers out of reach* I'm going to assume when you say "Author" you mean "Emily," since Author is my title in this story, but as the host Emily has sorta-but-not-really the same job as Author from your ToD. And I'm so not going through that alone.
Em: *eyes widen* Suddenly, I'm wishing I read ahead…
Vaati/Majora: *are warped to Hyrule field, under a starry sky, with a full moon*
In the studio…
Emily and the author were tossed into a magic-proof room with a television, broadcasting LIVE from…Navi, who was tailing Vaati and Majora with a camera!
Em: …I hate you.
Me: I can still hire some one else for your job, you know.
Back with our "free" villains…
Vaati: *looks around* Well…this is boring.
Majora: *yawns and plays with a braid* Wanna go wreck something?
Studio…
Em: Hey, Link? You might want to do something about this…
Me: Shush, let them have their fun. I'll set everything back to normal once we get out of here.
Em: Are you alright?
And back…
Majora comes running into the town square. Several buildings are in flames behind her. Statues are scattered around town.
Majora: *looks at statue of a little boy running* HEY, VAATI! BET I CAN DISTROY MORE THINGS THAN YOU BEFORE DAWN!
Vaati: *from somewhere off in the distance* YOU'RE ON!
Now let's skip forward a few hours…
The sun is rising, revealing Vaati and Majora, sitting on a ledge. He's still in his Demon form, while she's streaked with soot, dirt and blood. Majora's grinning from ear to ear. Vaati's doing the equivalent.
Vaati: So, I destroyed eight villages, three caravans and set fire to a forest. You?
Majora: Burned two villages to the ground, murdered twenty-one people, and successfully ruined fifteen relationships. *licks her lips* So far.
Vaati: So far?
Majora: Wait for it…
The moon came speeding over the horizon, and quickly vanished into the distance. A split second later, there was a flare of light…then darkness.
Majora: *clapping* And for the grand finale, the moon punches a hole through the sun, effectively extinguishing it. Bravo. Good show. I win, you owe me two hundred Rupees.
Vaati: …Damn…*changes back and pulls out his wallet*
And back to everyone else…
Link: *yanks open door* WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?
Me: *points to screen* Vaati lost a bet.
Midna: *facepalm* No, I think he means, why did it just randomly turn to night outside?
Me: *points to screen again* Vaati lost a bet.
Midna: …What kind of bet?
Em: The destructive kind.
Me: But, like I said, I'll set everything right again. Just let the Wind Mage finish paying Majora…
On screen, Vaati dropped a red rupee into the Ikana's hand, then threw up his in a "There!" gesture. The author warped them back to the studio, then fixed up the various spots of extreme destruction (including the sun) on Hyrule.
Me: And, incase anyone's wondering, yes, I'm still a fangirl. But I'm recovering, and can now happily settle for shipping couples. And Em's been over Vaati for a while, right Em?
Em: No comment. *glares daggers at Majora*
Me: Moving on…
Saria: *waves* Hi!
Everyone: *looks at each other* *pictures each other in togas* Um…
Me: I think they'd all have to be drunk and/or high before that would ever happen, and be enjoyable to watch. I'll skip this now, and save it for a later date, 'kay?
Ruto/Tingle: *point to each other* HOW?
Saria proceeded to play around the castle for the next day, scaring several servants.
Okay here are my dares
Navi: try to makeout with Link emphasis on try.
Midna; kick Zant in the balls and then use his pointy head to stab Ganondorf through the heart and now with your newly made hammer of failure villans bash Tingle on the head.
Vatti: slap the author in the face and don't run away
Tetra: say pirates are lame sisies infront of everyone with a megaphone
Saria: fight Ruto, Mallon, and Zelda over who gets to marry OoT Link
Ganondorf: give youself an atomic wedgie and with your underwear over your head sing take me out to the ballgame in a girly voice while doing the running man.( Saw it on TDWT)
Tatl: mud wrestle with Navi with your vails off
-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri
Navi: Um…*is caught in jar by Link*
Link: NO.
Midna: With pleasure.
Midna kicked Zant, causing him to double over, yanked the helmet off his head, turned around and jammed it into Ganondorf's chest as hard as she could. Then she pulled it out, and brought it down on Tingle, trapping him inside.
Vaati: *shudder* Why me? *slowly walks forward, lightly slaps Sophie across the face, then goes invisible on everyone*
Me: *blink* Wow…and he's such a care-free, destructive guy usually…Was I really that scary when I was in Rabid-Fangirl-Mode?
Everyone: Yes.
Tetra: *smirk* Pirates are lame sissies in front of everyone with a megaphone. There. And I said it, and I didn't break the rules.
Me: Zap her anyway, Em.
Em: *shrugs (still in a bad mood after the "date")* *zaps Tetra*
Tetra: Why?
Em: Um…Because you know what they meant. Yes.
Ganondorf: Physically impossible.
Link: And since when has that ever been a problem in our world? *gives him the wedgie*
Majora: *kicks him, like Midna kicked Zant* Now SING!
Ganondorf: *winces* Erm…Take me out to–*is kicked again by Majora and faints*
Majora: *snorts* Pussy.
Tatl: "Vails"? What "vails"?
Navi: *is released from bottle* I think he means our auras.
Tatl: *blushes* Oh. *drops her glow*
Navi: *drops her glow*
Pause…
Tatl: This is embarrassing…
Navi: Let's get this over with.
And the mud-wrestling began. I'd describe it for you, if I could see past the boys. And somehow, I doubt most of them can see anything either.
Me: PERVERTS! LET ME DO MY JOB!
Vaati: *uses wind to shove everyone out of the way. Holds Navi, coated in dirt, above his head* WE HAVE A WINNER!
Navi/Tatl: *pull their glows back up, and fly off towards the girls' dressing room to take showers*
Me: Dammit…THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, KBB!
dares
Make King Zora (OoT) go on a diet and exercise plan.
Ganon fight Link from MM and Link must use the three transformation masks and fierce deity mask.
Tingle steal a great fairy mask from the happy mask man.
-king3809
Me: *warps everyone to the royal chamber, because she can't be bothered to bring him here*
King Zora: *inhales spinach* *starts doing jumping jacks while making his "moeep" noise*
No one bothered to tell the over-weight fish how close he was getting to the edge of the ledge, until…
King Zora: Help! I've fallen, and I can't get up!
Majora: Your fault, fatty. Try push-ups. *warps back to studio*
Me: *warps everyone back to studio* Ganon! Link! Do this quick, I'm getting tired.
Ganondorf: *turns into pig-Ganon and charges*
Link: *dodges, while shoving the Fierce Deity Mask onto his face*
Ganon: *charges*
FDL: *drops to the floor and shoves the Double Helix Sword into the glowing crack on Ganon's stomach, smiting him with both the glowy-magic and blade*
Me: If you want better than that, Dare me when I'm healthy.
Tingle: Tingle-tingle-koolimpah! *kicks the HMS in the back, over balancing him* *fishes through the bag, eventually finding the Great Fairy Mask, which Link got rid of as soon as possible* Now Tingle can be a fairy! Yeah! *does a little dance*
Majora: *whacks him over the head with a wooden shield* Damn, it feels good to have hands again. Next time, I'll bring my whips.
Em: Okay…that's all for now, see you all next time! *goes off to sulk*
...I think Majora's helping to bring out my violent side...
Vaati: *grinning* *whispers to Shadow Link* She's bringing out everyone's violent side. I haven't had a good rampage in years!
Shadow: Good for you, man.
Vaati: What?
Shadow: Oh, nothing. Just, well, you had a chance with a really hot girl, and did nothing...well, with her. And that doesn't seem like you, that's all.
Vaati: Let me give you a piece of advice: never hook up with another villain. It never ends well.
Em: Read and Review, please!