Disclaimer: see chap.1
I wanted to get this up Sunday, so I could make more 42 jokes, but...something came up then (don't remember what...weird...) and I couldn't. So then I was going to get it up Monday, and make belated 42 jokes, but Mom kicked me off the one computer in our house before I could finish, and wouldn't let me on for the rest of the day. So now it's Tuesday, and I suppose I could still make belated 42 jokes...but frankly I'm tired, and they wouldn't be very funny after two days.
Em: ...Why were you going to be making 42 jokes to begin with?
101010 is 42 in binary code. On with the fic, because I've already put an ungodly number of hours into this chapter, and it's $%&#ing going up tonight!
Great job on this so far, it's great. Anyway, time for dares that torture Ganondorf, yay!
First, I dare Ganondorf(OoT form please) to drink from a toilet. No reason for this dare, I just want him to.
Second, I dare Ganondorf to spend a day giving the mothers of Hyrule with babies to four year olds a break by baby sitting.
Finally a dare my sister and I REALLY want to see which involves my OC Ruby from my fic Fate is a Strange Mistress. I really would prefer you read Fate(only 3 chapts. right now) so you get an idea on Ruby and Ganondorf's relationship since it would take too long to describe it.
Anyway I dare Ruby and Nabooru to have an all out brawl with Ganondorf, with Ruby and Nabooru winning and Ruby as your creator, if you do get to do this dare, go all out and don't hold back, make him wish he was never born!
Again good work on this fic.
Y.
-Everia
Ganondorf: *cringes before heading into the boys' restroom*
Me: *puffs in* Sorry for the wait, sorry for the misunderstanding. Here you go.
It was really a simple situation. He had bragged there was no one in Gerudo Valley who could best him in combat. They hated him, and had taken it as a challenge. The arrangements had been made before he had time to argue.
Ganondorf stood at one end of the arena, feeling the sweat pour down his face. He still wasn't sure how the two women across from him had talked him into this fight. It was probably a question of my leadership… he mused, before hauling himself back to reality.
For their part, the girls were fairly calm. Each was confident in her fighting skills, and her ability to work together with the other. The older one hefted her axe with a grim smile.
"Are you ready?" Nabooru asked.
Her daughter drew her blades. "I think we all know the answer to that."
A scout stepped up on the podium, well above the arena, and called out, "We are gathered here today to witness an…unusual event. On one side, we have our king and leader. On the other, our queen and heir. The fight shall go on until one of them is incapacitated. For your own safety, I recommend spectators do not take bets. And the battle begins…NOW!"
Ganon took a deliberate step towards his opponents. I'll focus on one of them, and pin her down, he decided, she'll be out of the fight, and I'll win. His eyes flickered back and forth between the two.
Ruby and Nabooru slowly inched apart, making their way around the edges of the arena, waiting to see who he'd watch. When Ganon turned his body to keep an advantage on Nabooru, Ruby darted across the space between them and slashed at his shoulder. The giant man roared and whirled on her, allowing Nabooru to come up behind him and slam the back of his knees with the head of her axe (they were only using practice blades, as no one wanted the royal family to seriously injure (or kill) each other, even by accident). Ruby slammed the hilt of her right-hand sword into the side of her father's neck.
"Is that all?" She asked with a wry smile, "I thought for sure such an 'all powerful ruler' would provide more of a threat."
He snarled at her, and got the flat of his wife's axe on the side of his head. Ganondorf collapsed.
Ruby put her foot on the back of his head and raised her arms up in a victory gesture. Beside her, Nabooru muttered, "And that's why he always fights his opponents one-on-one."
Me: Hope you don't mind that it's not much of a fight. I just noticed how bad he was at keeping track of both Link and Zelda in the final fight in Wind Waker…
Ganondorf: *mutters something*
Me: *ignores him* Is it alright?
Hmmm...have I not reviewed/dared with this? I say we change that!
Truths:
Zant-what is the average wingspan of a turnip?
Ganondorf-who's that Pokemon?
Veran-why am I asking you anything? I barely know who you are.
Dares:
Navi-go find the North Pole and stick your tongue to it. IF you claim to not have one, let the author give you one.
Msfcatlover-no immunities. Nobody likes it when their dares are canceled out.
Talon and Ingo-fight the Mario Bros. for your right to wear overalls and...uh...something.
Don't think I'm all nice to the villains. If I remember, they'll get theirs eventually.
-Foxpilot
Zant: What's a turnip?
Midna: It's a light-realm vegetable.
Zant: VEJ-IT-BULL'S DON'T HAVE WINGS!
Ganondorf: …What's a Pokemon?
Veran: I'm not a mind-reader.
Me: I haven't even played the Oracle games. I take it you haven't either, Foxpilot?
Navi: …Hyrule's flat. We don't have…oh.
Me: *summons a red and white striped pole* Well, here's our North Pole.
Navi: *winces and licks it* Ith thill colth…Guyth? Ah tink ah'm thuck… *tugs head back*
Em: *shrugs and thaws the pole and Navi* That was the Dare. Sophie? You going to put the marker back?
Me: *shrugs* Why bother? The magnetic North Pole is migrating South anyways. *fuses pole to the ground* And I think it really spiffs up the place. Oh, and Foxpilot? I don't skip Dares unless I've already done something like it, or it involves another fandom. I asked you guys not to do other fandoms for a reason… We *gestures to whole studio* know basically nil beyond *gestures to studio* this. Sorry, I'm not looking it up just so that my life can become even more hectic.
Man, those sandwiches were good. Poison? What poison?
Msf: I can't see your picture. Just saying.
Link: Which dungeon bosses were the most and least fun for you to fight? Whoever they were, I dare you to fight them both at once.
Zelda: Dress in drag and go to the nearest Red Light district.
Ganondorf: See Zelda's dare.
Vaati and Majora: Plan and execute a bank heist in the most creative way you can think of. (As in, no blasting through the doors, killing the guards, and shooting through the vault door with lightning. Come up with something original.)
Talon: Have a footrace against Malon while she's riding Epona.
Darunia: Envelop everyone in a massive bear hug.
Ruto: I don't like you. How do you feel about this?
-keybladeboy
Me: …Oh. Let's try that again. http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/#/d30c9sa
Link: …Gyorg. In Minish Cap they were the most fun, in Majora's Mask it was the hardest.
Me: Video time!
Minish Cap: youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=by8HFFPDi2w
Majora's Mask: youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=l5NcUJyUHi0
Zelda/Ganondorf: *shrug and head for the dressing rooms.*
Zelda: *walks out* You know what occurred to me? You need to send someone with me. So that, if anything happens, you have a way to get me out.
Me: I–
Zelda: I mean *waves hand* last time, when you sent Link and me to that convention, we stayed there and waited for you to warp us back. But suppose I get kidnapped? You said you could only alter reality in here, Hyrule and for your OCs. If I'm not near where you warp me, wouldn't you need an OC with me, so that you can find us and warp us back?
Me: What about–
Zelda: Oh, no one's going to mess with Ganon. He's, like, eight feet tall for Nayru's sake!
Me: …Fine. You'll get a body guard. *pinches the bridge of her nose and waves her hand*
A young man appeared. He had spiky silver hair, with shoulder-length light blue "ear-tails." He was a little on the tall side, but had none of the awkwardness of a growing teenager. There was something in his poppy-colored eyes…he looked dangerous.
Me: This is Will. I originally created him as Cal's over-protective little brother, but never really developed him.
Will: *brushes at his ear, even though not one hair is out of place* Hey.
Me: Will, I need you to stick with Zelda for a little while, and make sure nothing…excessive happens.
Will: Sure.
Zelda: *raised eyebrow* Man of few words?
Will: *raised eyebrow* Something wrong with that?
Ganondorf: *comes out of boys' dressing room* Done.
Me: Don't kill each other. *warps them out*
Majora: *flutters her lashes* Are we allowed to flirt, shamelessly?
Me: …I think I already know how this is going to go. *shoves them into the back room* You two plot in there, and we'll see the results at the end of the chapter, 'kay? *locks the door*
Talon/Malon/Epona: *stand at staring line*
Ingo: *waves flag* GO!
Talon: *takes off, puffing along*
Malon/Epona: *take off, pass Talon*
30sec in…
Talon: *1/4 of the way around the ring*
Malon/Epona: *running over the finish line*
Ingo: WE HAVE A WINNAH! *waves flag*
Darunia: Very well. *walks up to the HMS and hugs him*
HMS: *something cracks inside chest* GODDESSES! *faints*
Me: …I'm outta here! *puffs out*
Darunia: *drops him and walks up to Ruto*
20min later…
Em: *heals her own fractured spine before fixing up everyone else* *groan* There's another experience I could have done without. This job is proving to be mentally scarring…
Me: *puffs in* Suck it up, Em. You're the one who wanted to appear in my next story.
Em: *sigh*
Ruto: That's fine, KBB, I don't like you either.
Me: So, let's check on our villainous duo. *opens door to see a blood-soaked Majora holding a DVD standing in front of an impeccably dressed Vaati*
Majora: Already did it. This *waves DVD* is from the security camera. Wanna see?
Everybody: *hesitant nods*
Majora: *slides DVD into a projector*
On the screen, Majora walked through a set of double doors, talking to Vaati. They appeared to get into an argument, and he took a swing at her. Two security guards quickly broke up the "fight," and Majora seemed to break down crying against the chest of the one who grabbed her. Vaati smirked, and an odd silvery blur knocked his guard unconscious. The camera didn't catch what Majora did, but it was explosive. She pretended to panic, and took off down a hall, Vaati right on her heels.
There was a moment of static, and now the camera was looking through a circular room and down a hall. Majora came running down alone, and bumped straight into a nerdy-looking young man. They heard her shout "Help me, he's after me!" before sinking her fingers into his chest and vanishing. The young-man jerked a few times, before straightening his tie, glancing around, and walking back the way he'd come.
Another second of static, and the young man was standing in front of what had to be the vault. He bent down and typed something into the keypad set into the wall.
"Code word in. Phase two start."
Vaati appeared at his side. The Wind Mage turned his back to the camera and bent down before what had to be a scanner. His outline blurred.
The screen went white.
Majora: It was an iris scan. Vaati here took on the form of each person who had deposited, and when all the inner chambers were open, we entered the vault and warped everything to the back room.
Vaati: I gave Majora a power boost before we went in, so she could possess some one who might know the vault code.
Me: *invisible* Fine. *warps back Zelda, Ganondorf and Will* Anything interesting happen to you guys?
Will/Zelda: No.
Ganondorf: *shrug*
Shad (from Twilight Princess)has to give me his autograph. And his book.
Link must marry Zelda.
Midna, do you love Link?
Ganondork, one word, DIE! By jumping into a volcano.
-Wildheart
Shad: *hugs the book* But…it's my father's journal…
Ashei: You have more than one book, yeah?
Shad: *perks up* I guess…*fishes around in bag for a minute* Um…would you accept a copy of The Heroes' Legend? *signs the inside cover quickly and hands it to Emily*
Em: *warps it out*
Me: *points to Link and Zelda* You are now husband and wife. *rings materialize on their fingers*
Ganondorf: …This is what I hate about ToDs…
Me: Too bad. *warps him to Death Mountain*
Ganondorf: *gulps, then jumps*
Okay no more guy thanks to Zant's insult I've decided not to hold back anymore. I was trying to go easy on you but now you can forget it!
Tael: Go on a date with Navi. ( explain in good detail )
Tatl: Follow them on said date and humiliate/embarrass Tael at every possible opportunity.
Zant: Shoot yourself in the face.
Ganondorf: Makeout with a cactus for two hours.
Tingle: Go up 5000 ft in the air in you balloon then pop it.
Link: Go on a date with every girl you ever met at once.
Zelda: Fight Ganon by yourself.
Vaati: Tell Sophie that you love her and want her to stalk you for all eternity. And you can't run away from her anymore
Majora: Watch Barney for 24 hours straight without looking away or plugging your ears.
Midna: In imp form wear a pink dress and sing i need a hero
Navi: After the date with Tael kiss him then scream you caught his cooties.
And now for the closer. After all the dares everyone must play the CDI Zelda games.
And remember all of this happened because Zant insulted me.
-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri
Tael: …Ho, boy...
Em: *warps them to a fancy restaurant*
Tatl drifted over to Tael and Navi's table. "Fancy meeting you here!" she cried, just a little too loud.
Tael winced. "Sis, please! This is hard enough without…well…"
Tatl ignored him, and plopped herself down in a third chair (that had no reason to be there) "You're Navi, right? I thought you were with Link."
Navi smiled, a little tightly. "Link's more like my son, or little brother than my boyfriend. What are you doing here?"
Tatl grinned. "Oh, they have great wines."
Roughly 1hr later…
"And (hic!) that's why my brother's the only dark-colored fairy you'll ever see!"
Tael squirmed in his seat. He knew it would be rude to ask his sister to leave, but he wasn't sure how many more of her drunken baby stories he could take! Or her almost endless dirty jokes about Navi and Link…
Me: *warps them all back to studio, and sobers Tatl up* They suffered enough.
Navi: *kisses Tael* COOTIES! *winks at him before flying off*
Tael: *turns bright red*
Zant: *takes a bow and tries* Can't.
Ganondorf: *is revived*
Em: *warps him to desert*
Tingle: Tingle's already floated too high on his balloon! He cannot pop it if he faints!
Midna: Let us help you with that! *turns into giant spider-deity and grabs the fairy-wannabe* HEY LINK!
Link: *turns around*
Midna: THINK FAST! *chucks Tingle up as hard as she can*
Link: *pulls out bow and shoots off three arrows*
Tingle: *Link's second arrow pops his balloon, and he plummets to the ground*
Link: *shrugs* Can't, I'm married.
Everyone: *nod sagely*
Link: It'd take forever anyway.
Zelda: *warps to a mesa overlooking Ganondorf's "kissing booth" and shoots him full of Light Arrows* I win. *warps back*
Em: …Those things are over-powered.
Everyone: *nod sagely*
Em: Stop doing that.
Vaati: There is nothing any of you can do to or for me to make me do that. Nothing.
Em: …Vaats, do you know what I have to do to people who don't do their Dares without a good reason?
Vaati: …No.
Em: One word: fangirls.
Vaati: *walks up to the author* I-love-you-and-wish-you-would-stalk-me-for-all-eternity! *breaks down in tears*
Me: …*reads Dare*…*pats Vaati on the head* There there. You'll be fine. You said it, nothing's going to happen.
Majora: *shrugs and goes into the back room*
24hrs later…
Majora: *walks out* Kinda stupid, but I don't see what's so bad about it.
Me: …You are the only person I know who would think that. That show is hell.
Majora: *shrug*
Midna: *bursts out of the girls' dressing room in imp form and an elegant pink ballgown with her hair down* Let's get this over with. *walks up on the stage*
Emily, Malon, Zelda and Majora stepped up behind her as the back-up singers. (A/N "back-up singers" will be represented with B.U.S.)
(A/N: Music, as I think she sings it: youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=vgQayqoZGvw&feature=related but with just piano music and the B.U.S. humming the drum line)
The room darkens so that the stage is black. Piano music starts up. A soft blue spotlight turns on, revealing Midna, head bowed. She slowly lifts her head, and smiles sadly at the audience.
"Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a White Knight, upon a Fiery Steed? Late at night, I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need…"
Pink spotlights go on, illuminating the B.U.S. The light on Midna turns white. She grins, and raises her voice.
"I need a Hero!" random cannons on either side of the stage go off, showering the audience with glitter. "I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the end of the night! He's gotta' be strong and he's gotta' be fast, and he's gotta' be fresh from the fight!" The imp gaves a little spin on the last line, the slit in her gown drawing one or two wolf-whistles from the audience. "I need a Hero!" (glitter cannons) "I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the morning light! He's gotta' be sure, and he's gotta' be soon, and he's gotta' be larger than life!"
(B.U.S.: "Larger than li-hife…") Midna smils flirtatiously at the audience as the piano takes a brief solo.
The lights dim slightly, the one on Midna shifting to red. She goes back to her sad smile and her soft voice. "Somewhere after midnight, in my wildest fantasy," (the imp closes her eyes, and sways slowly as she sings) "somewhere just beyond my reach, there's someone reaching back for me." Her smile begins to get a little wilder as she continues with the verse, "Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat…It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet!" She snaps her eyes open an shows off her fangs in her trademark evil-grin
(A/N skip the instrumental that's here)
"Up where the mountains meet the heavens above!" Someone turned on the big screen and a picture of Yeto's snowy home appeared behind her. "Out where the lightning splits the sea!" It switched to Lake Hylia under the Twilight. "I can swear there is someone somewhere watchin' me! Through the wind and the chill and the rain!" Now the screen showed her riding on Link's wolf form in a storm. "And the storm and the flood!" Lake Hylia normal. "I can feel his approach like a fire" (she snarled the word "fire") "in my blood!"
(B.U.S.: "Like a fire in my blood!" X4) (then they hum along to the piano)
Midna and the B.U.S: "I need a Hero!" (glitter cannons) "I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the morning light! He's gotta' be sure, and it's gotta' be soon, and he's gotta' be larger than life!"
(A/N shorten this instrumental to about fifteen seconds)
(B.U.S.: "HERO!)
Midna throws one hand into the air as she begin the final section. "OH! He's gotta' be strong and he's gotta' be fast, and he's gotta' be fresh from the fight!" (A/N now play that slow, soft bit that came at the end of the instrumental) Midna drops to her knees and sighs into the microphone. Every light except for hers turns off and she sings the last line at barely a whisper, "I need a Hero…" The last word was soft and breathy. Midna's light turns off.
Everyone: *silence* *eruptive applause*
Midna: *slips off stage and back to the girls' dressing room to change back*
B.U.S.: *slip off stage and mingle with the crowd*