An Impossible Reality

Chapter 12- My New Soundtrack

Disclaimer: Relapse is over people, phew, I almost lost it for a second... oh text message... NOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY DID THEY TELL ME I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!

Alix POV

As soon as I got in doors I felt instantly saner, and mum had gone to the shops so I was on my own, since Jen was so hyped up in wedding details I was left alone. Normally a god send, I always worked better on my own in the peace but right now peace was the last thing I needed. I decided music was the best way to get me away from my actual life. Don't get me wrong, I do like my life, it's just there are some aspects that could be more interesting.

I flicked through my happy songs but I didn't feel like listening to them. They weren't me at this moment in time and my writing bug for songs had gone into hibernation. My Chemical Romance appeared and I decided to stick with it, I hadn't listened to them in a while. The black parade album came on and I sang along. I loved this band, and Gerard Way was always something to admire, with his amazing voice and funny antics on stage. Lovely.

Before I knew it, I was opening my eyes but I wasn't in my room. I was running. It was damp, and wet and musty, it was definitely forks but I was so sure I was dreaming. A) Because I hadn't tripped yet, B) Because I wouldn't come here in my right mind and C) it was raining for god's sake and I lacked in umbrella. Not me.

I heard crashing waves in the background and I knew that if I followed the sound, I would find the sea leading me to the sun. I was so cold, well at least everything but my left wrist. I looked to see Jacob pleading at me with his eyes, clutching my wrist as if his existence depended on it. He turned his head towards the darkness of the forest and began to pull me there, instantly kicking in my common sense to fight against him.

"Jacob what the hell is wrong with you? I don't want to go into the dark." I protested.

"Run Alix, you have to run." He whisper/shouted at me and I looked at him majorly confused.

"Why, Jacob, what the fuck is going on?" I demanded but he shook his head and continued to yank me till I somehow (proving my dream theory) stopped him.

"This way Alix!" Mike urged me from the darkness. They both couldn't be wrong right? But before I truly had time to contemplate Jacob let out a loud yelp and collapsed to the floor. He let out a huge gasp and then he exploded, releasing bits of cloth into the atmosphere. My vision returned to normal and I saw a huge, russet coloured wolf standing where Jacob lay.

"J-Jake?"

"Run Alix! Now!" Mike yelled and I wanted to, but I was frozen in place till the guy I was in love with emerged from the light. Edward, he was as beautiful as I remembered. Even more so in my dreams. But he scared me seconds after that thought, he smiled. Normally that wouldn't have irked me but it was what he revealed doing so. Sharp pointy teeth, almost like fangs.

"Trust me." He purred to me and I was so drawn in. He exterior now screamed fearsome creature but my heart and mind seemed to beat down on my common sense and sent me walking to him. It was only one step before 'Jacob' shot at Edward, going straight for his neck.

"NO!" I screamed and I was still screaming as I shot up looking at my scenery. My regular, orange bedroom surrounded me and I was so relieved. Never before has this room caused me to be so happy.

I groaned and shoved the pillow next to me over my face to mask my eyes from the dull, yet glaring light from my eyes. It was no use though. I had been so headstrong, so confident to find out what Edward was, but now, I regretted it. I now had remembered the vital piece to the almost finished puzzle, and I knew exactly what to look for but I wasn't sure if I wanted to anymore.

What if he was luring me? NO! No more thoughts of that. I decided to drag myself out of bed and take the world's longest shower, but even THAT was quicker than expected. I even tried to dry my hair, strand by strand but that went wrong, I ended up just getting irritable and frustrated and dried my hair upside down for volume; flat hair isn't very attractive.

The heating was on so I got into my grey short shorts and a white tank top and even made my bed. Picked up all my clothes too, even putting them in the wash. My mum would love me when she got back from trying to rally even more books; I swear my mum is the bookworm of the century. And the previous one.

I had run out of things to do, unless I felt like jogging back to England so I faced the inevitable task of googling the legends. Google was my own sanity, it helped me to understand things but now I was going to search the most important search of my life.

Vampire. I pressed enter and then I was flooded with different sites but some were just from IMDB for other films with vampires. I found one called Vampire A-Z and it looked promising. It had two quotes that looked good enough. I think one was biased though as one was from a Reverend and the other were from someone called Rousseau.

After these two quotes came an alphabetised list of all vampire myths and legends known to 'man'. The question I had was which fit Edward's profile, since I was determined to find out what kind of vampire, if there were different types

The first one I clicked on was something called a Danag which was a Filipino vampire legend that was supposedly responsible for planting taro on the islands long ago. The myth told me that the Danag worked alongside humans. This was until one day, one of the human workers cut their finger and the Danag were so enticed that they suck the wound till the human was drained dry. Wow, all over a tiny cut.

I tried to look desperately for any resemblance between these stories and the Cullen's but the information was dry. All of these stories had some infallible and beautiful woman in place rather than a man and was always either feeding on children or giving human men an excuse for infidelity and adultery. Whatever, men will cheat whether or not a vampire lady is the cause. What low lives.

Only 3 types caught my eye. The Romanian Varacolaci who was a beautiful, pale skinned creature after transformation. The Slovak Nelapsi which was so fast and strong it could massacre an entire village in less than an hour after midnight, and the final one was the Stregoni benefici.

There was only a short sentence about them. Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires.

It was a relief that there was one, but only one, entry claiming goodness in vampires. But was incredibly irritating was that barely any of these linked in with at least one of the Cullen's features. The pale skin, beauty, speed, strength, eyes shifting colour and then Jacob's criteria for the vampires like the blood drinking, mortal enemies of the werewolves, cold-skinned and immortal. There was so little for so much time spent finding it out.

In frustration I crossed the box and sat there glaring at my background, a picture of me, Ela, Jess, Cesca, Becky and Kez at Jess' 14th birthday party. I smiled a little and shut down my computer, I was so tired of this and would go back to it at a later date.

I needed to get out but I didn't feel like trekking up to rez so I decided to get changed into something warmer. I just yanked my boots on and go for a walk for a bit, this town is so small I wouldn't possibly get lost right? So I headed out into the rain with my little orange compact umbrella.

I took a little walk into the forest, not as far as to lose my way but far enough to be out of sight of my house. I had my trusty drawing journal in my art bag that I grabbed before leaving my humble abode and I began to sketch in a dry spot with a convenient log underneath it. A shelter of leaves and branches covered my head and kept my drawings dry. My eyes glued to the page of the 3 nomad, human drinking attempted murderers in some sense.

What if it was a dream? Just one terrible hallucination? I could just be having the weirdest dream ever and just wake up in a few minutes to find that I am still in England, going to Ashton Sixth Form and being a regular English teenage girl. To test this I smacked my face to find that it was definitely NOT a dream.

I gazed at the trees for a while. It seemed easier and a lot more believable here to think of the absurdities that had entered my life in the past month and a bit. It was just the fact that these woods, trees and mud had been here for thousands of years and witnessed all the myths and fairytales that graced this forest floor. In my bedroom, it was a lot more embarrassing to think that a family at my school were vampires than out here in the raw and real atmosphere.

There were two questions that were bothering me right now.

First: Were the stories Jake told me credible?

My mind immediately told me to stop being so irrational. I have been told my whole life that they don't exist, they are figments of some sordid dead man's imagination and that they don't exist and that I shouldn't entertain such notions, to grow up and just admit that they are all infallibly beautiful. But then my head gets overridden by the question, what then? There were no rational explanations to why on earth I am alive right now. I remembered something and pulled out my phone to link to the internet. Google for the second time in one hour.

Adrenaline rush-a sudden burst of energy from an increase in the hormone and neurotransmitter adrenaline, esp. increased heart rate and blood pressure, perspiration, blood sugar, and metabolism.

THERE IS MY PROOF! I googled it and I don't think he planned on me actually doing it because now he is caught. There is nothing here that says anything about an increase in speed or strength, just heart rate, blood pressure, perspiration, blood sugar and metabolism. These are all internal functions but when he was holding me he wasn't sweaty, I couldn't see him breathing rapidly. As a matter of fact he was calm and chilled.

Is this not proof enough that he is a vamp. I mean he has shown no signs of being human from the second I saw him.

I pulled out my pencil and listed the things I had seen myself: the speed, the strength, the eyes shifting from gold to black and back again, the inhuman beauty, the pale and frigid skin, and the smaller things that hadn't quite registered till I thoroughly thought about.

They never seem to eat, how graceful they seemed to be- especially Alice- and the way he spoke sometimes. The odd little cadences and phrases that you wouldn't catch any 17 year old at this present time and date saying even subconsciously. He just so happened to want to skip on the day of blood typing in biology. He didn't say no to the beach trip till he found out it was the first beach, on Quileute soil. He seemed to know what everyone else was thinking, and was shocked when he didn't know what I was thinking. He told me he was the villain off the stories, that he was dangerous...

Well I was sure of one thing, he- they were something. Something that could never be considered 'human' in any sense. Whether Jacob's 'cold one' story was true, or my original super hero concept was dot on, Edward Cullen was in no way human. He was much, much more.

And then my second question: what would I do if Edward was a vampire?

If he was a vampire, what could I do? I couldn't possibly involve anyone else, even if they believed me. If they didn't I would end up locked up in some psyche ward with no escape. I don't like confined spaces and no chance of being let out. And if I can barely believe myself, the chance of someone else believing me are slim.

I saw only two options to my last question. For one- I could take his advice and avoid him and leave him be as much as humanly possible. To simply cancel the trip and to just totally ignore him. To pretend that there some invisible, and impenetrable glass wall between, and for the last nail in the coffin, to tell him to leave me alone- and mean it this time.

And two- I could do absolutely nothing at all. Just keep going as I was, leaving him be as much as he wanted and or needed. I mean, it's not even like he TRIED to hurt me. If anything, he was the total opposite. He saved me unnecessarily with Tyler's van, he could have let it squish me and send me into the afterlife but he risked revealing what he was by saving me. Chivalrous was the word.

Something I was entirely sure of was that the dark Edward that I saw in my vision was the reflection of what Jake had portrayed him as. In real life (if you can call this real) was so much different and dare I say it... human. And even when I screamed out in terror, it wasn't because of the fear of the wolf, or the fear of Edward, it was the fear of the wolf KILLING Edward, not the other way around. Although in my dream, if Jacob hadn't stepped in it would have had the same end result as my previous repetitive nightmare I would have rather it ended like that, in the arms of him being... drained for all I was worth than him being harmed. He really was amazing to be able to make me care more about his hunger than my own life.

And I knew inside I didn't have a choice. I knew that I was in too deep. I knew that it was the inevitable truth that now that I knew- if I was right- that I really couldn't let this go. They say curiosity killed the cat, well the same happened for the Alix. And this thought was frightening me. Every time I thought about his magnetic attitude, velvet voice, hypnotic eyes, that crooked smile, all of it just tells me that I have no choice and if he so much as clicked his fingers I would be at his feet kissing them.

I looked up and saw that what little light I had before was dimming. This was the time I decided I should leave. I shoved my pencil and drawing pad into my bag and made my way down the path shrouded in rain. I swear it rained so hard the path should have been washed away with it. The path seemed to go on forever, a never ending soaking wet moment in my life I could never escape form but glimpses my house appeared through the gaps in the branches, enticing me to pick up pace to the land of fresh clothes and warm socks.

It was only noon so I got into my comfiest baggy jeans, my fuzziest slipper socks and my softest sweater and snuggled into my clothes in front of the fire. We actually had a working fireplace in this place rather than that idiotic fireplace-that-doesn't-have-a-fire-in-it fireplace.

"Took off for a walk did you miss?" I heard Daniels voice echo, scaring me a little till I recognised it.

"Yeah, I needed to get out, get some space." I patted the seat next to me on the couch beckoning for him to sit down next to me. "We never honestly had a real chance to talk the other night. Anything you want to know about me?" I asked and he sat down next to me.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe what you think of me so far? Whether you think I can do this? Be a dad, I mean." Aww, he was scared shitless. "Your sister and I are only young, we didn't plan this and now I getting married to her. Do you think this is at all smart of us?" he managed all of this in one single breath. The guy has lungs.

"Daniel. Breath." He laughed a little and took an over exaggerated breath for measure and I continued. "I think you will both do fine. I can see it; you are only scared because you don't want to fail with something you can't just lock away. But I can also see in you that you, my sister and our whole family will make this work for this little bundle of joy coming our way. Alright? So just take a chill lozenge and get your hand ready for the labour." I joked. He laughed with me; I think he is quite decent, nice catch Jen. "Anything else?"

"Yeah actually. What is with the tower of native American you hang with? Isn't he like twice your age." I let out a loud and scary laugh and when I could talk he had the weirdest look on his face.

"He is like 15. I am 16. But I can see where you got that from; he is like a 25 year old with the personality of a toddler and the actual age of a teen. He is one out of proportion dude."

After we calmed down a little I had excused myself to get to work on my Macbeth paper. It was due in for Wednesday but something I learned from back home is that you do it when you get it, you don't leave it.

I was done before eight and my mum returned with a wagon full of books of all kinds. She was very passionate with this bookstore so when she went shopping she went shopping. We had dinner, just some pizza and I ventured upstairs to the land of nod.

It was a dreamless sleep and I was thankful, my generally good moods by nature can only stretch so far when you are deprived of sleep. Then for the second time in the months I have spent here, there was a warm yellowness striking through my curtains and bringing me into the amazing day.

I ran up to my window and pried it open. It took a while but I got it totally open, most of the trick was grip not strength. When it was open the sun was beautiful and I even felt... dare I say it... warm? This was new and amazing and to celebrate for school I wore a grey short sleeved tee shirt with a light blue waist coat over it, paired with matching grey skinnies and my blue indie pumps, I was set. I even paired it with a pair of sunglasses.

When I came down the stairs I noticed my mum sat alone eating a breakfast with an extra plate placed in front of her. "Morning sweetie, I made you breakfast." And she really did, bacon, eggs – scrambled-, beans, toast the works! I ate every last drop and it just seemed that this day was just getting better and better.

When I had finished mum wished me a goodbye and left the house leaving me with five minutes to kill before I wanted to set off. I called Jen. "Hey Jen." I greeted.

"Hey sis, what's up?"

"I know it is your news, and that I don't honestly have the right to tell people but I was wondering if it was at all possible to tell Angela about the baby and the wedding." I heard her sigh on the other end letting me know she was going to comply.

"I guess that would be okay, but only Angela alright?"

"Of course!" and with that we ended the call and I contemplated taking my rain jacket. I guess I could just stuff it in my locker. I decided that being prepared was better than being soaked to the bone and I folded it over my arm, locking the door and driving off.

On the drive there I had both windows down and I was loving the breeze. It was light and refreshing, like a lemon. The only difference was it wasn't tangy and didn't make your face screw up into a ball. I ended up being one of the first kids to school. I decided instead of looking a complete social reject I walked over to the park benches. Everything was still damp so I decided to use my useless jacket to sit on, actually ecstatic that I brought it since I love these jeans.

Due to my fast working and utter loneliness all my homework was done so I decided to just doodle random drawings. I drew a pair of golden eyes. Coloured them in and everything. But something I couldn't help but notice was that it was definitely Edward's set of eyes, not Alice's or Emmett's, only I would notice with my newly acquired stalker attitude.

"Alix!" I heard someone call and without even turning around I knew it would be Mike. I turned around and faked yet another smile, I am sure he thought that was my normal smile at this point. I looked around and noticed most of the population of Forks High had arrived.

"Hey Mike." I said. Although he wasn't my favourite company on a day like this I couldn't help but be ecstatic with the weather change. He noticed this and seemed a little more confident talking to me. Dang.

He took a seat beside me and stared at my eyes for little while. "I never noticed; your eyes are a golden brown." My eyes widened a little, I almost forgot about that, like the Cullen's in a way.

"Only in the sun." I shifted my eyes out of his gaze and spun around to face the growing crowd of teenagers, instantly spotting Angela.

"So what did you get up to yesterday?" googled vampires, took a walk into the wilderness, nothing much really!

"Mostly worked on my essay." I couldn't actually tell him the truth that I compared the Cullen's and Edward in particular to a vampire a-z, he would most definitely think I was crazy.

"Oh yeah- that is due Thursday right?" I shook my head.

"Wednesday Sherlock." I patted his shoulder and hopped off of the park bench headed straight for Angela who so conveniently was stood with the bitch herself- Lauren. "Hey Ang, can I talk to you... in private?" she nodded and walked with me to behind the cafeteria block.

"What's up Alix?" she asked me. How to do this...

"Look Ang, I have to tell you something and you have to promise not to judge okay?" I looked really nervous considering I wasn't the one pregnant and getting hitched soon.

"Oh my god! You're pregnant aren't you? Alix, was it with Edward?" I gasped and choked on the air I was trying to get in to calm myself.

"Jesus no! No and no to both questions. Wow, no it was my sister I was talking about."

"Wait. She is pregnant with Edward's baby?" I shook my head and laughed.

"How about you quit guessing and I can tell you the news already." She nodded and fake zipped her lips. "My sister is pregnant with the new medical intern Daniel; they are getting married before the baby is born. And one last thing, you cannot tell anyone." She nodded and hugged me.

"Tell her I said congratulations." I laughed and grabbed her hand, yanking her around the corner to see Lauren stood on her car bonnet almost yelling at the top of her lungs.

"You guys don't seem to grasp it so I will scream it for you. Alix ALLBRIGHTON'S BIG SISTER IS A SKANK SLUT WHORE WHO IS PREGNANT WITH A GUY SHE BARELY KNOWS!" the whole car park had gone silent as they spotted me but she just thought it was shock.

I decided now was the time to intervene. I cleared my throat and she jumped narrowly grasping onto her balance so she didn't fall of the car. "You quite finished bitch face?"

"W-what did you just call me?"

"Bitch. Face. Put together they make bitch face. And you eavesdropped so you only got half of a story. My sister didn't plan this, they have known each other for a rather long time AND they are getting married soon so shut your fake, botoxed trap before I sow it together." I threatened, I knew I shouldn't but all I could see was red.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She backed up and fell onto a nerd.

"Ow you idiot!" she screeched hitting him with her bag.

"You girl are in a desperate need of an attitude fix and I am just the girl to give it to you. Enjoy this." I smiled fakely before swinging my arm back to punch her in her new fake nose. Only when I got two centimetres away from making contact with her surgeons handiwork my arm was locked my an ice tight grip and I knew exactly who it was. Edward.

Sorry for the major delay I have had writers block with homework upon homework with the most irritating teachers you would never believe. So I have finally got it up and just to be extra cheeky I am going to leave it short and with a mini not so epic cliffy so enjoy it. I will try to update as soon as and a story I have story alerted, alerted me of a meanie plagiarist on fanfiction. "HarryPotterFan4Lyf". She copied Stephaniie's story "A Million More Mistakes" so I wanted to alert you and to report the hell out of HPF4L so it will be removed.

Thanks to you all and please review I fell over (toppled over) today and it really hurt. *cries*

Chapter 13 coming as soon as possible ;)