Disclaimer: ...To hell with this! I'm not even doing a "see previous" anymore!
Today sucked! I go to an art club on Fridays, and it's supposed to go until four. Well, today there was a small fire in the school, not even enough to set off the alarms, and they kicked us all out at 20 'til. My ride didn't get there until 4:12. I think I even got minor frostbite, because my fingers and toes hurt when I got warm again! So here's your chapter, I'm going to bed.
Hey, Ganondorf. Long time no see. Today's all you.
Ganondorf: walk into a Ganondorf- and Ganon-proof cell, then have msf unleash the fangirls. msf, lock the door behind the fangirls so he can't get out unless you teleport him.
Tingle: Ganon stole all the money and shiny things in the world. Including yours. What're you gonna do?
Ganondorf: wear a neon pink dress, then go revisit your fangirls.
Ganondorf: what are you gonna look like in Skyward Sword (you don't have to do that, msf, I just want to know and it's been bugging me)
msf: transform Ganondorf into a fangirl
Vaati: use that laser you got last chapter on the new Ganondorf.
And finally:
Everyone: beat up Ganondorf so much that he wishes he was dead.
If you're wondering, I just got the crap kicked out of me in OoT: MQ by Ganon. Four times. Revenge is sweet.
-TheBrick
Ganondorf: {CENSORED} *walks into the magic-proof room*
Me: *slams and locks the door behind him* Three…two…
A shock wave shook the studio.
Me: The fangirls have been released.
Tingle: WHAT? Tingle-tingle-Kooloo-Limpah! *kicks down door and runs into the melee*
Me: *fixes and seals the door behind him* I hope they both die. From what I've heard, Ganon won't be in Skyward Sword. Ain't it great?
Ten minutes later…
Me: *teleports the fangirls out of the studio and opens the door* *eyes widen* Ooh… *slowly closes it again* Well, he's in his ballerina dress again…and he looks kinda like a balding, fifty-something fangirl…
Em: Is he dead?
Me: He can't die, remember? (Wish he could…) He does look pretty close though.
Everyone: *pauses for a second before charging into the magic-proof room to make Ganondorf suffer*
Another ten minutes later…
Shad: What? You don't think I'm a rabid fangirl, do you? Because I'm not! I'm a normal fangirl. *hugs Shad* And, why, exactly, do you have a dagger, if you can't fight?
Ganondork: Kill Link in front of his rabid fans. You can't harm them.
Ruto, Ilia: Jump into Death Mountain.
Link: Sorry. Who do you like more, Ruto or Ilia? And I want a real answer. Don't worry, they can't hear.
-Wildheart
Shad: *blush* Ahaha…it makes a very good bookmark…
Ganondorf: *in the fetal position in the magic-proof room* pain…so much pain…
Majora: *raises hand* I'LL DO IT!
Em: No.
Majora: *pouts* Can I push the canon-fangirls into the lava, then?
Em: Um…sure.
Majora: Yay! *warps herself, Ilia and Ruto to Death Mountain Crater*
Link: Um…Ilia doesn't try to force herself on me.
Majora: *appears streaked in soot* Back!
Me: What did you do on the way?
Majora: Nothin'…
Me: *facepalm* Then what did you do, roll in a fireplace? *goes to fix up Hyrule*
With all due respect, I might be skipping the karaoke chapter. I don't like it when long songs get put into ToDs. I'll be back next time.
Truths:
Ruto-on what grounds do you claim that all Links are yours?
Ashei-are you aware that the pigs are coming to steal you icicle roosters?
Ezlo-would you recommend Link's head to fleas or ticks?
Dares:
Vaati-turn into a Keaton and try to steal Tingle's Rupees.
Moe the Moblin-eat Ganondorf.
Random prayer dude from TP-Give Link back his money, plus your hat.
...All my base are belong to me.
-Foxpilot
Ruto: *is revived in studio* He's engaged to me, and all the others are just reincarnations of him.
Em: But you're already married.
Ruto: …I'm princess of the Zora, I can do whatever the hell I want!
Em: *slaps her* Stop lying to yourself.
Ashei: …What what what now?
Ezlo: Neither! I have to sit up there too, you know! …Besides, he's already had lice.
Link: *attempts to strangle Ezlo*
Vaati: I only have three forms, you know.
Majora: *enchants the Keaton Mask and hands it to Vaati*
Vaati: *glances suspiciously at Majora and puts on the mask*
Let's skip the screaming and writhing in pain…
Majora: Hey, it worked!
Keaton Vaati: *glares at her from floor*
Me: *glomps him* OMG, HE'S SO FLUFFY AND PURPLE AND CUTE!
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
Em: *polite cough*
Me: Huh? *realizes* Oh! Sorry! So sorry, Vaati, I wasn't thinking!
Keaton Vaati: *whimpers*
Em: *Helps him up and takes off the mask* It's not like it matters, anyway. Tingle's dead. Very, Very dead.
Moe: Yes'm *lurches into magic-proof room*
Link: *looks up from now trying to squish Ezlo* …When'd the talking monster get here?
Ezlo: *from behind Emily's slipper* Did you like my little cameo there? I already gave back Link's rupees, anyway. That's why I'm flat broke.
Dares:
link: I dare you to have a heartfelt conversation with ganondorf
Ganondorf: see the above dare
Tingle: I hate you and you creep me out. You will have a beheading and link gets to be executioner. Also you have to wear a buissness suit instead of you gay a** costume that wear so much.
Ruto: become emo for a chapter
Zelda: since you are waaaaaaaaay cooler than process peach from the mario games, you get the best damn cookie you ever come across and you don't have to share.
Vatti: you will meet the celeb you hate the most and then you have to go to starbucks with him/her
Navi and Tatl: create an army of faries and invade any country you see fit. The only catch is you both will have to fight oboma. Why? Because it will be hilarious!
Zant: I hate you for appearing bad a** only for it turn out that you were a pansy. As punishment you have to wear a ballerina's outfit while being fed to the alligators. I will ressurect Steve irwin to be the one that feeds them. Crikey!
Midna: corrupt the world with only your awesomeness and afterwards you can have a bunny
-MEGZARIE- over and out
-megzarie
Link: Ganon's being digested right now, but I can have a heartfelt conversation with Ezlo when I catch him, if you like. *makes a dive for the Minish*
Em: *kicks the Hero* Get off the floor and away from my skirt, you idiot!
Link: *realizes every girl except the author is wearing a skirt*
Tingle: *is very, very dead*
Me: *secretly celebrating how dead Tingle is*
Ruto: *experiences a sudden mood change and skulks off to the girls dressing room*
Zelda: Sweet. *accepts cookie*
Me: I wanna cookie!
Em: *slaps the author on the back of the head* You're already on sugar-high.
Me: *muttering* Not tonight, I'm not.
Vaati: Wha-*is warped out*
Navi: But we're on the good side!
Tatl: Yeah! Both of us, now!
Navi: And faeries can't carry weapons, anyway! Why do you think we all have a much larger partner?
Zant: *humming bad rock* *looks up* Wha-*remains long enough for Midna too take a picture of him in Ganondorf's ballerina dress, then warped out*
Majora: This I gotta see! *warps after him*
Me: Well, I'd rather not. *suddenly finds herself the only one in the room who's capable of warping* Oh c'mon!
Midna: *cuddles with her new bunny*
I'm happy I could help and for this weeks dares
my dare for young link attached to the song list still stands
Ganondorf: you must listen to the most horrible music video of all time . His TnT song. and if he survieves everyone gets to blow him up with a bazooka.
Majora: what is your favorite song?
Vatti: Sorry about the colors of the wind thing i was trying to make the songs match the characters so i give the pass that lets you skip all the dares and truths for this week only.
Ruto: I clone Link and turn the clone into a zora for you.
Em: I dare you to go on a date with vatti. (note the pass does not let him out of this on because i say so)
Young Link: give Saria a kiss.
Navi : I 3 U : )
Truths
Saria & Link : how was the kiss & why were you crying at the end of the song.
Navi: Are you afraid of me?
Sophie: how well did I match the songs to the characters?
-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri
Me: *revives Ganondorf, because this is too good to pass up* *locks the door before he can get out and creates a bullet-proof window*
Everyone left: *crowds around as Ganondorf's TNT performance plays on the TV*
Pause
Link: …Is he singing along?
Skull Kid: 's what it looks like…
Percy: For the love of the goddesses, he's still trying to rock out!
The window vanished.
Me: I've seen enough. *summons the magic users*
Majora: *wearing a big, happy smile* That was…very nice.
Em: *looking disturbed* *points to Majora* Some one tell me how she can seem like a semi-normal person, but enjoy blood, guts, screaming, and the pain of others?
Me: She's a sadistic bitch.
Em: …Bluntly put.
Shadow: But very true.
Me: *shrugs and shows them the list*
Majora: Why, I'd have to say Pain by Three Days Grace.
Vaati: That's a pretty disturbing song…
Majora: But it suits me so well *walks away humming it*
Vaati: *snatches a piece of paper out of the air* Why couldn't this have arrived earlier?
Ruto: *dashes out of the dressing room, and grabs the new Zora Link* Sophie, can we go on a date? As in right now?
Me: Anything to get you to leave us alone. *warps them out*
Em: *very close to a squeal* Really? *composes herself* I-I mean…That sound nice, I guess. Um…
Me: *warps them out*
Emily and Vaati suddenly found themselves in Castle Town. A young couple walking by them muttered something about foreigners, causing the Twili girl to blush.
"Um, Vaats?"
The sorcerer turned. "Yeah Em?"
Her blush deepened. "I know you normally would go on rampages and stuff, but…"
He looked slightly offended. "I can be a gentleman! You know that!"
"Well, yes…"
"Come on. Let's just do this." Vaati grabbed his date's wrist and dragged her to the nearest restaurant.
A few minutes later…
The waiter tried to size p the two beings sitting before him. On was clearly Twili, and very embarrassed by the glances they kept getting. The other was pale enough to be related to her, but his red eyes had only one iris. Besides, only Hylians had purple hair.
"May I help you?"
"Um, yes," the girl murmured, "I'll have the fried cukoo with apple sauce, please." She glanced at her companion. "Vaats?"
"Hmm?" He looked up. "Oh, I'll just have a vegetable broth."
The waiter blinked. Vegetable broth wasn't very filling, so nobody ever ordered it on its own. "Anything else?"
"No-" the boy was interrupted.
"We'll order seconds if we're still hungry," the girl gave him a warm smile, "but we don't eat a lot."
The waiter nodded, and walked out with their order.
Vaati gave Em an appraising look. "Very well handled."
"No need to be blunt with people."
Even later…
Emily sighed happily as she watched the stars wink into view. "We don't get this at home…"
Vaati paused. To him, they were just stars. The Hylian tried to imagine what it was like to see stars only once or twice in your life and failed. Flopping down next to is friend, he gently took her hand.
Em felt her face go scarlet, and was very thankful for the darkness.
"Can you point? Good…" Vaati lifted her hand and pointed her fingers at a star. "That one's Vega. This one over here," he moved her hand so that she was pointing at a small diamond, "is called Nayru's Necklace. Up here," now she was pointing at a pale crescent of stars so close they were hard to tell apart, "is Farore's bow. It's from back when people thought she created the animals for hunting. Over here, right above Death Mountain peak you can still see Din's Eye. It's the reddish one…" Emily smiled as he named every star he knew, and then made up some new constellations. It wasn't exactly romantic, but it was still very sweet.
Link: *lightly kisses Saria*
Saria: *blush*
Navi: I like you too.
Saria: *still blushing* Well, I'd have to disagree with the other girls about Link's *blush deepens* k-kissing…and it's a very emotional song. I always cry at the end of it…
Link: …What she said.
Navi: *shakes her head* No.
Me: Where you didn't it was very funny, and for the most part you did.
Hey Sophie. I've been reading you truth or dare and I have to say you're very creative, and talented at this. I have never done a review so I thought I would change that.
Dares:
Link, Vaati, and Ganondorf: Play multiplayer on Link's Crossbow training and the one with the highest score gets to enjoy a box of cookies with Sophie. the other two will suffer their fates.
Link: If you lose you have to watch Ganondorf destroy Hyrule and you can't do a thing.
Vaati: If you lose then you have to give your tunic/cape to Em and let her do whatever she wants to it for 2 hours.
Ganondorf: If you lose then you have to be nice to everybody for a whole day and watch barney with Ilia for 2 hours.
Midna: spend a day with Colin and go fishing.
Zelda: Become a Ranch hand at Ordon.
Ruto: Go to your personal Hell.
Zant: Link has to pick the hardest bosses from Twilight Princess and You have to fight them.
Garo King & Ikana King: Engage in epic sword fight and loser has to work at Best Buy and help out old people (if you work at Best Buy you know what I'm talking about!)
Majora & Em: Spend an afternoon together and do everything on the 15 things to do in Walmart list. (if wanted have Calin go with them).
Truths:
Midna: how did it feel to go fishing?
Ganondorf: Why do you always go for Hyrule? I mean seriously ever thought of starting small and working your way up?
Majora: What do you do when you get bored?
Skull Kid: What is with you guys and flutes?
Navi: Ever try saying something else besides Hey! Watch Out! Listen! Hello!
Tatl & Tael: Why do you guys ring? I mean is that something you can change like a ringtone?
Em: What did you do to Vaati's Tunic? (say after he puts it back on.)
(Only if Vaati lost).
-Life by a Different Name
Me: *revives Ganondorf*
Link/Vaati/Ganondorf: *settle down to play a long, competitive game*
Roughly half a hour later…
Link: *shoots to his feet and throws his hands above his head* I WIN! TAKE THAT!
Ganondorf: …How'd that happen?
Link: That is what happens when you go on multiple quests with random people yelling nonsense at you and having to decipher it! That made all that work worth it!
Vaati: *groans and strips off his tunic* *hands it to Emily* Here.
Em: *staring at Vaati* *shakes her head violently* Oh. Um…yes. Thanks. I think…
Vaati: *ignores her stuttering and shuffles off*
Link: *goes off to eat his cookies*
Ganondorf: *being dragged into the backroom by Majora and Telma again* NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! SHE'S HORRIBLE! SHE ACTUALLY LIKES IT! *is tossed in with the rejuvenated Ilia and a TV set to a Barney marathon*
Midna: *puts a hand on Colin's shoulder* Let's go.
Colin: Do you know how to fish?
Midna: …No, can you teach me? *warps both of them to the fishing hole*
Zelda: Um…okay? *finds herself in peasant clothes and is warped to Ordon*
Ruto: *finds herself trapped in the world of pairing fanfictions (pairing Link with everyone but her)*
Link: *ticks them off on his fingers* Argarok, the Armored Lizard in the Ice Ruins, and Zant himself were all either weirdly hard, painful or irritating.
Zant: NO!NO!NO! *throws a bit of a hissy fit*
Em: SECURITY!
Security dragged Zant to the fangirl pit (A/N: the fangirl pit is now the official punishment for not doing a dare)
Me: *turns the stage into a gladiator pit and drops the two combatants in*
Igos: *looks around* What's going on?
Majora: FIGHT!
Igos: Majora? Is that you?
Garo Master: *looks up* So it is. Say, Princess, what's going on? How are you still flesh?
Majora: *goes shockingly pale, especially for some one of her skin tone* I-I don't know what you're talking about! Fight! That's what you're here for!
Igos: Now I'd recognize you anywhere Majora. *takes a step forwards* What's going on, sis?
Majora: SHUT UP! *promptly returns to her mask*
Em: *picks up the mask and looks at it* Wow, she got really upset about that, didn't she?
Skull Kid: *pokes the mask* Well, she doesn't like to talk about her past…
Me: *points to the two in the pit* Like she said though, you guys gotta fight or face the fangirls.
Igos: How can I fight? I'm a spirit! I'm not even a stalfos anymore!
Garo Master: I could never fight my master! It is the way of the Garo to follow to the death and beyond!
Me: …You Garo are sort of dumb, aren't you? You can't do anything for a dead royal family!
Garo Master: No one shall defile Ikana's sacred grounds! Besides, if the princess is still around, they aren't all dead.
Em: *holds up mask* Majora's a spirit who lives in here. She may not be dead, but she's not alive either.
Me: We're boring the readers! Will you two fight or not?
Igos/Garo Master: Not.
The bottom of the gladiator pit opened into the fangirl pit below. As those two fell in, Linebeck and Zant crawled out, gasping, ragged, and miserable. Security escorted them to their rooms.
Em: *shakes the mask* Their gone, Majora.
Majora seemed to drop out of the mask, accompanied by a cloud of green smoke.
Majora: *sitting awkwardly on the floor* Ah. Good. Never mention that again. *stands and dusts herself off* We got a Dare?
Em: *nod* Both of us.
Majora: Yuri?
Em: Um…no…
Me: *shoves the list in Majora's face*
Majora: …What's this "15 things to do in Walmart list"?
Me: *deep breath*
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee, tell him/her in an official tone: "Code 3 in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
10. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
12. Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
13. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
14. Stage a conversation with your shadow. When you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing.
15. Go to the kitchen section, pick up a butcher knife. Then go up to an employee and ask "Where are the anti-depressants?"
Majora: …You've memorized it, have you?
Me: I actually intend to be able to check off every one of these from my list some day.
Majora: *shrugs*
Majora/Em: *warped out*
Next Day
Me: Now that we're all back from our various exploits, let's move on with the list, shall we?
Midna: It was very peaceful. And Colin's very cute.
Ganondorf: I did start small; I was king of the Gerudo.
Majora: Kill stuff. Cause chaos.
Skull Kid: What d'ya mean? Everyone in the forest can play some instrument, but it's a safety tool. You won't get mistaken for a stalfos if you're palyin' music.
Navi: When people bother to listen to me, yes. I try to give helpful advice.
Tatl: Ringing gets people's attention faster than yelling. And yes, we can change it to sound like different types of bells.
Tael: *nodnod*
Em: *hands Vaati his tunic*
Vaati: *slides back into it* Anything?
Em: Well, I put it through the wash. But I don't think that's what he's asking about…
Vaati: *discreetly sniffs his (clean!) tunic* Was it dirty?
Em: Well, you'd been wearing it for two days…
Vaati: *sweatdrop*