An Impossible Reality

Chapter 15- My Final Theory

Disclaimer- still don't own twilight... sad, but I really AM over it now xx

Recap: "Your turn now." Edward smirked, probably awaiting something hilarious he can laugh about with his family. Fuck that! I was going to hand his arse to him so much he will be crying to his family.

Alix POV

"Can't I ask one more question?" I asked, pleading for just a little more time to sum up how on earth I was supposed to say 'I think you are a vamp! See ya!' lightly.

He let out a sigh. "One." His lips pressed together

"Well..." I was dancing in my head that I got another question. "I was wondering, you said you knew I didn't go into the store. And that I went south, I was wondering how you knew that." He looked away deliberating. "I thought we were past all the evasiveness Edward." I scolded, probably sounding like his mother a little. I sounded like a disappointed child and this made Edward almost smile.

"Fine, then. I followed your scent." I wanted to laugh. I mean scent?! He sounded like a blood hound, but, you know, if they could talk and stuff. I really struggled to compose myself but I did it, eventually, and filed that valuable piece of information for further blackmail.

"And then you didn't answer one of my first questions..." I trailed and he gave a look of disapproval.

He cast me a side-glance of disapproval. "Which one?" he asked me hesitantly.

"How does it work? The mind reading thing, can your whole family do it? How do you do it? How did it happen? Is it anywhere and anytime or..." I felt so dumb asking questions about mind reading. In reality it wouldn't work, but this reality was beginning to seem more and more impossible each day.

He cleared his throat. "That is more than one." I wanted to laugh, he was still avoiding my questions. For fucks sake I already knew I didn't some sadistic 'teen' avoiding the questions I wanted answering. I just clasped my hands and intertwined my fingers with my own and stared at him, waiting.

He sighed and answered me. "It is just me, no one else in my family can do this and there are... limitations. I can't hear anyone anywhere; they have to be close and not you." He smiled a little before continuing. "The more familiar someone's... 'Voice' is to me, the further away I can hear them." He looked thoughtful before speaking. "It is like being in a hall full of people all talking at once. It's just a hum- a buzzing of voices just in the background. Unless I focus on one particular person, then their thoughts become clear."

"Most of the time I just block it all out. It can become very distracting and it helps to be normal." He frowned at the mention of being normal since he clearly wasn't. "That way I am not accidentally answering someone's thoughts instead of their questions."

"Why do you think you can't hear me?" I mused. I wanted to know why I was too weird for his gift. I didn't like being this special.

"I don't know." He sighed and run a hand through his hair. "The only thought I can think of is that your mind works differently. Like your mind is on fm frequency whilst the rest of the world is on am." Great! My mind is on the wrong fucking frequency and the dial appears to be none existent. Yay for me!

"My mind doesn't work right. Great, I'm a freak aren't I?" I always knew I was different but I don't like having physical proof! Aww this is stupidly irritating!

"I tell you I can read minds and you think you're the freak?" he chuckled and it felt right. This conversation, no matter how weird the topic felt like it should always be this way. "Don't worry about it, it is just a theory. Which brings us back to...?"

Time to shine Alix. You can do this! I let out a sigh. Having it summed up was the easy part but now I can't seem to form a coherent sentence. "I thought we had gotten past all the evasiveness."

"Shit!" I almost screamed. "You drive like an escaped psycho from the crazy house, SLOW DOWN!" I pointed to the speedometer and the shocked expression.

"What's wrong?"

"You are going over a fucking hundred you douche! That is what's wrong!" I took a risky glance out of my window and just saw a blur. It wasn't even funny; he was going to kill me.

"Relax Alix." He chuckled and rolled his eyes. CHUCKLED?!!! You don't chuckle when there a girl shitting herself for her life for the second time tonight. What a prick!

"Are you trying to kill me? I thought I had had enough near death experiences for tonight!" I continued to complain and exclaim.

"We aren't going to crash." He said with such confidence it calmed me slightly but isn't that what they all say when they are just about crash. Dear god I am going to die and Alix shaped pretzel!

I calmed my voice a little before speaking. "Why are you in such a hurry anyways?" can't wait to get rid of me? I added mentally. Seriously brain quit it!

"I always drive like this." He then did the unspeakable and literally signed my death certificate; he looked at me and smiled crookedly.

"EYES ON THE ROAD!" I exclaimed at him and then blushed. Wow I just had a diva moment and outburst at him. Shit!

"Alix," he said calmly. "I have never been in an accident and I have never gotten a ticket." He smirked again and tapped the sides of his head. "Built-in radar detector."

"My dad is friends with some people in the precinct; I am a girl of the law. Anyway, if you crashed and turned this car of yours into a Volvo pretzel, you could walk away."

"You right, I could, but you couldn't." I let out a sigh of relief as the needle slowly crept down to eighty. "Happy?"

"It is an improvement."

"I hate driving slow." He moaned.

"Slow?! You call this slow?"

"Enough commentary on my driving." He snapped. "I am still awaiting your latest theory."

I bit my lips and looked up at him from under my lashes. His honey eyes were a lot softer than I thought they would be; it was nice.

"I promise I won't laugh." He smiled and then I knew he was serious.

"I am not afraid of your laughter Edward. I am more afraid that you will be angry with me." His eyes widened a little and then refluxed back so fast I was scared I had imagined it all.

"Is it that bad?"

"Pretty much yeah." I just looked down and played with my hands. I was so confident before and now it all died. "Go head." He urged his voice calm and collected.

"I am not sure where to start..." I trailed hoping for some help.

"How about from the beginning. You said you didn't come up with this on your own."

"Nope."

"So what got you started? A book? A movie?"

"It was a story I was told by my friend Jacob. You met him once when he was picking me up. Well, he told me a Quileute legend of vampires and werewolves," I let a short laugh at the wolves. "Well, I was thinking about it..."

He grasp on the steering wheel tightened. "And you immediately thought of me?"

"What? No! He um... mentioned your family." I got nervous as to what he might try to do if he got mad at Jake. "He just passed it off as a silly superstition. I don't think he expected me to think anything of it." I still felt guilty. "I kind of made him tell me."

"Why?"

"Well he tried to say it one way and got stuck on his own words like someone was making him stop. And then I told him to work around the barrier. It also helps that he has a crush on me, all I have to do is bat my eyelashes and flirt a little and he is like putty in my hands." I laughed.

"And you accused me of dazzling people. Poor Jacob Black!" he joked feigning pity in a dramatic motion. I looked out my window as I blushed. It embarrassed me even more for him to notice it. "And then what?"

"I did some internet research. 'The Vampire A-Z'."

"And did that convince you?" he tried to sound nonchalant and if I wasn't looked at his posture it would have fooled me all the way but he was still gripping the steering wheel hard.

"Nope. Nothing all fit together to describe you. Separate aspects yes but everything else just didn't sound right. And then..."

"What?"

"I decided it didn't matter to me what you were." I rushed. I knew this would anger the hell out of him but dishonesty was not meant to be here tonight in this car at this moment.

"It didn't matter?!" he asked, totally astounded by my comfortable attitude with this.

"No, Edward it doesn't."

A hard mocking edge appeared in his voice as he spoke. "So it doesn't matter to you if I am a monster? If I am not human?"

"No." He was silent and just stared ahead at the road. No sneaky side glances, no full out looks he just stared ahead of him. The expression on his face was hard and cold.

"You're angry. I shouldn't have said anything." I began to panic. We were finally getting places, further on in whatever we were but now, I had most likely just fucked everything up royally.

"No." He said simply. "I would rather know what you are thinking- even if what you are thinking is insane."

"Damn it! Am I wrong again aren't I?" I huffed, this was getting too much.

"That is not what I was referring to. 'It doesn't matter'!" he quoted the anger settling back in on his face and in his voice. It seethed loathing. He even gritted his teeth.

"So I am right!?" I gasped, in total elation at the fact that I followed clues and used them to my advantage. I felt like a regular Nancy Drew!

"Does it matter?" he mocked and I glared. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"No." I said simply. "But I am curious." I suddenly felt as though Edward completely checked out of the conversation, he seemed to be so resigned then.

"Curious about what?" he asked.

"How old are you?" the golden question. The question all men are forbidden to ask any woman, her age once it clearly gets past young adults.

"Seventeen." He was blowing off the truth, he knew what I meant.

"How long have been seventeen though?" I pressed.

I saw his lips twitch so he must be rather ancient. "A while." The confirmed it, he was old enough to be my great grandfathers dad. God I hope he isn't cos being with him feels so right I couldn't give it up for blood relations.

"Okay." I said sweetly. He may not have been direct with his answer but at least he was keeping to the honest road we have decided to take this conversation down. A thought suddenly occurred to me. If he was a vampire like he told me, then how the fuck can he and his family venture out in the day. "Okay- don't laugh." He nodded for me to go on. "But, how can you and your family go out in the sunlight?"

He laughed at this. "Myth."

"Burned by the sun?"

"Myth."

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Total myth! I don't sleep."

"Wow. At all?"

"Never." And then I made the crucial mistake and lost my train of thought completely. I looked him in the eyes. Those golden orbs absorbed me into them and I didn't look away until he did. "You still haven't asked the most important question."

"And that is...?"

"You aren't concerned about my diet?" he asked sarcastically, probably expecting a light bulb to go off inside my head and to demand to get away from him.

"Not really." I said nonchalantly. "I have a theory about that too." He gestured his hand for me to proceed. "So, you clearly don't intend to drink from humans, and what Jake told me confirmed that or else according to the myths, you and your family would be piles of ash. So then I tried to think, what else could you hunt that would suffice and then it me like a ton of bricks. Animals. Am I right?"

He just stared at me, totally stunned that I had more of a brain than Lauren. "And Jacob said you weren't supposed to be dangerous."

"He said we weren't dangerous?" he asked.

"No, he said you weren't supposed to be. The Quileute's said they didn't want you on their land for safe keeping." He said nothing, still staring out of the windshield. "So was he right? About the not hunting people?"

"The Quileute's have a long memory." Another confirmation comment. You would think he would find it easier to just straight out tell the truth. "Don't let that make you complacent though. They're right to stay away from us. We are still dangerous."

"What do you mean?"

"We try." He explained slowly. "We are usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes though. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you." He said with a pained expression, almost like he was letting someone of great importance to him down.

"This is a mistake?" I wanted to sound angry so badly but fuck I was depressed. He made me smile, really smile, more than Jake had ever managed since I got here. He made me chuckle but I was pretty Edward and his family had the power to make me rofl.

"A very dangerous one." He muttered.

Something about this right now, looking out of the windshield, attempting to follow the impossibly fast curves of the road, felt way to unreal. Almost like a computer game of some sort. Like going way over the speed limit on Grand Theft Auto or something. With Edward's fast driving, time was slipping away just like the black tarmac beneath us and I hated it. I liked this feeling of being open for anything, no walls like normal. I could ask him anything, tell him anything and no one could judge us at the time. I was so desperate to carry on this conversation.

"Tell me more!" I asked in pure desperation. Not exactly how I wanted to be, so vulnerable and easy to manipulate but I needed to carry on this conversation.

He looked shocked at my change of tune. It was almost funny but I really wanted to hear all there is to know about being Edward Cullen and being a vampire. "What more do you want to know?"

"How about... why you feed off of animals instead?" I felt like crying, it was so close to over, maybe it is my time of the month already or some shit, I always get emotional then.

"I don't want to be a monster." He said; his voice really low.

"But animals don't quench the thirst?" he seemed startled at my choice of words for a second but changed his mind and face before I could truly acknowledge it.

He paused. "I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living off tofu and soya milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satisfy the hunger- or rather thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time." His tone turned ominous. "Sometimes it's more difficult than others."

"Is it very difficult right now?" I asked, wary of the answer.

He sighed. "Yes."

"Weird. But you're not hungry right now." I said with confidence.

"Why do you think that?"

"Your eyes. I told you I had a theory about that too. I've noticed that people- men in particular- are crabbier when they are hungry."

He chuckled. "You are rather observant aren't you?" I didn't answer though. His laugh was so rare and beautiful I just savoured it like you do when you take a bite of your favourite meal of all time for the first time in a while.

"Were you hunting with Emmett this weekend?"

"Yes." He paused again. "I didn't want to, but it is easier to be around you when I am not thirsty."

"Why did you not want to go?"

"It makes me... anxious... to be away from you." His were gentle but intense, pretty much making my bones turn into jelly. "I wasn't joking when I said not to get hit by a car or fall into the ocean last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend worrying about you. And after what happened tonight I am surprised you got through the whole weekend unscathed." He shook his head and looked into my eyes. "Well not completely unscathed."

"What do you mean?"

"Your hands." I looked down at them and looked at my palms. There were almost healed scrapes and scratches; he doesn't miss anything does he?

"Yeah about that... I kind of fell." I cringed jokily and he laughed.

"That's what I thought." The corners of his mouth were turning up like he still had some laughing to do. "I suppose being you it could have been much worse- and that possibility haunted me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I drove Emmett crazy." He smiled ruefully at me.

"Wait, three days? I thought you just got back today." I was so confuzzled right now.

"No we got back on Sunday."

"Well then why weren't any of you in school this week?" I asked.

"Well, when you asked if the sun hurt me, it doesn't but I can't go out in the sunlight- at least not where anyone can see."

"Why?"

"I'll show you sometime." He promised but I was still peeved he had been back so long and hadn't told me. It was weird but I didn't like not being able to see him.

"You could have called me."

"But I knew you were safe." He said becoming puzzled by my words.

"Yeah but I didn't know if you were! I-" I hesitated.

"What?"

"I didn't like it either. Not seeing you. It made me anxious too." I must have been bright red because I sure felt it. I looked up at him and saw he looked worried and angered at something.

"Ah!" he groaned. "This is wrong."

I threw my head back. "Fuck! What did I say wrong?"

"Don't you see it Alix? It is one thing for me to make myself so miserable but it is a whole other for you to be so involved." The words left his mouth so fast I was surprised I caught what I had as he turned his anguished eyes to the road. "I don't want to hear that you feel that way." His voice was low and urgent. They cut me like a knife. "It's wrong, it's not safe. I'm dangerous- you must grasp that!"

"No." I said firmly. I told him I didn't care; I wish he would just accept that.

"I am serious." He growled.

"So am I!" I stared right at him. "I told you I don't care whatever you are, you could be big foot and I wouldn't give a shit! And to be honest, it's too late."

His voice whipped out, low and harsh. "Never say that!"

I just bit my lips and thanked the heavens he couldn't read my mind, then he would know how much it hurt me to hear him say that, it would just send him over the edge. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

I couldn't speak. I would cry if I did. Damn hormonal outbreaks! "Are you crying?" he asked, shocked that he made me cry, like it was hard right now? He almost sounded... appalled. I put my hand to my cheek and sure enough the traitor tears had escaped.

"No!" I lied. "My eyes are just... leaking. They do that." It was then I gave up, lying wasn't getting me anywhere. His reached out towards me as to comfort me, but saw what he was doing and put his hand back to the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry." He apologised for everything he did. "Tell me something." I nodded for him to go on, still not trusting my voice. "What were you thinking- when I rounded the corner I mean. You didn't look scared."

"Well... to be honest I was thinking a few things. Why can't I look up, what the hell am I gonna do about the other half of the rape gang and admiring the job I had done to the half on the floor screaming in pain." He smirked at the last two points and looked at me, with a frown now upon his godly features.

"You were going to fight them? Did you not think of running away?" I had but it wouldn't have worked. I would have tripped and I can't run very far without getting tired.

"Me and running don't work on the best of days, so when my life is thrown into the mix the running wasn't an option."

"What about screaming for your life?"

"I was going to, but my throat was so dry."

He shook his head. "You were right- I am definitely fighting fate to keep you alive."

I sighed. In less than twenty minutes we had crossed into Forks and were nearing my home. "Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked, feeling silly for asking.

"Yes- I have a paper due too." He smirked. "I'll save you a seat at lunch." It was completely stupid that after everything we had been through that one little promise made me feel all happy inside to the extent of loosing speech. I couldn't talk I was so full of butterflies.

We were outside my house now, the lights on and my car in place. Everything totally normal, it was like I had just woken up from a dream. "Do you promise?" I asked; I needed to be sure.

"I promise." I nodded and retreated to my home.

"Alix?" he called out all serious.

"y-yeah?" I asked.

"Make me a promise?" I nodded. "Don't go into the woods alone."

"Why?" So relieved it wasn't him saying he had taken back everything he had said tonight. He frowned.

"I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there. Let's leave it at that."

"Whatever you say Edward." I smiled and looked at him. "So tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow." He confirmed and I closed the door going back to my home but he wound the window down. I turned round to him, "Yes?"

"Sleep well." And then I finally got inside. Once my front door was securely closed behind me and leaned against the door and slid down it. I heard my mum come into the hallway and she looked at me sceptically. "What?"

"Who's is that coat?"

Here it is, chapter 15, you shall all be happy. Well you should, took me decades to get this shit done since I had the book like glued to my hand like that cigarette advert lol! Review guys, can't stress it enough!

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