An Impossible Reality

Chapter 17- I Like You More

Disclaimer- still don't own twilight... sad, but I really AM over it now xx

Alix POV

As we sat down to eat, well I sat down to eat, Edward on the other hand sat down to observe and play. Anyway, as I ate I noticed that look in his eyes when he wanted to ask me something but was afraid to do so. "Spit it out." I said as soon as I swallowed.

"What?" he almost squeaked.

"You have that look on you that you get when you want to ask me something but are afraid of how it will go, but really, just say it. You make me anxious when you are like this." He nodded and poked a chip before looking at me.

"I eavesdropped." I raised an eyebrow at him and he held a hand up to pause me. "I heard something that I didn't like."

"Oh. I am sorry." I looked down to avoid his gaze and he wasn't having that. In a split second his finger was under my chin pulling my face up and intentionally closer.

"Don't be. I just didn't agree with it." I scrunched up my eyebrows and he chuckled. "You said that you think you liked me more than I liked you. And that... well it just isn't true." He was whispering now since we were mere centimetres apart.

"The whole cafeteria is staring at us." I laughed and his eyes widened from that lazy relaxed version they had become.

"I apologise." He muttered and I tutted.

"Don't be so formal you silly Billy! I am your girlfriend, you can talk to me like you would to your family." I giggled and took a sip of my drink.

I looked down at my meal, pepperoni pizza with fries and a coke. The bubbles were my soul focus until Edward broke our extremely comfortable silence. "You're wrong." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I am?" there is no way he liked me more than him.

"Yes. I like you way more than you could ever know." He whispered in a husky voice that would have knocked me flat on my arse if I had been standing. I hadn't noticed it before but we were leaning closer and closer to each other across the table and I thought he was going to kiss me but I thought against it. He is a vampire, he could hurt me and in front of all these people, it was NOT an option.

"We are kind of close." I whispered.

"The whole cafeteria is waiting to witness our first act of PDA. I can't do it, do you understand?" I nodded.

"That thought crossed my mind." Oh fuck, that sounded awful. "Oh shit, that sounded really bitchy and untrusting, sorry. I didn't mean it like that, oh god you know you can still retract that statement from earlier-" he had pressed one of his long elegant fingers to my lips to shush me.

"I didn't take offence Alix." He began. "I was just stunned that you already are so comfortable and understanding of what I am." I nodded and took his finger into my hand. I changed the position are hands were in and made it so I was holding his and he was holding mine.

"You are possibly the best boyfriend ever you know that?" I laughed.

He shrugged his shoulders and relaxed his hand in mine. "I have been told that." He smirked and I playfully slapped his hand.

"Don't get cocky; you still have time to fuck it up." I joked and he rolled his eyes. "And anyway, you can't possibly know that you like me more than I like you."

"How so?" he was using his eyes on purpose now cos they were now paralysing my brain. I attempted lifting the truth straight out of my brain but that would tell him I love him and I couldn't do that.

"Let me think!" I demanded. His face seemed to relax a bit now he knew I was planning on answering. "Well aside from the obvious... it is just that... well I can't be sure – I can't read minds- but sometimes, I feel like you are saying goodbye rather than what you actually say, if that makes any sense whatsoever."

"Perceptive." He said quietly. "But that is exactly why you're wrong and what do you mean by, 'the obvious'?"

"Well, look at me..." I trailed. He did as asked and his eyes darkened a little. "I am so plain, and ordinary. Besides the fact that I attract near-death experiences like an extremely large magnet in a nail shop I am so boring." I took a breath. "And then look at you.... you are beautiful. The only thing you attract is a wide fan base of Edward Cullen lovers. We are so different it's unbelievable."

His eyebrows knitted together again. "You just don't see yourself clearly do you?"

"So you keep telling me." I muttered.

"Although you're dead on with the bad things." He smirked and I tossed a fry at him. "But," he emphasised. "You didn't hear the thoughts of every male in this school on your first day."

"I don't believe you."

"Believe me, if only once, on this- you are anything but ordinary." The look in his eyes was driving me wild so I quickly reminded him of my original statement.

"But I'm not saying goodbye."

"Don't you see? That is why I know I care more." Okay now I am confused. "It shows that... I am willing to leave you, if that is what's best. I like to believe that I could stay away from you with distance. I would hurt myself to stop from hurting you."

I glared. "And you think I couldn't?"

"You wouldn't have to make the choice." What the hell did that mean? See, cryptic, if only Jess could hear this conversation, but then again, I am glad she can't. "But, with the amount of danger you attract, keeping you safe is becoming a life-time occupation."

"Hey! No one has tried to do away with me today." I laughed, happy for the joking and jolly atmosphere.

"Yet." He smirked.

"Yet." I agreed. I was worried that if I denied and defended my safety he would see me as safe and leave. Irrational I know but I couldn't bear to lose him now I had him. It would kill me completely; I would be a broken mess.

"I have another question." oh god, please be pleasant.

"Shoot." I added, hoping for it to not be too complex.

"Do you really have to go to Seattle or was it just an excuse to avoid your doting admirers?" he laughed. He enjoyed every minute of making my life hell before now.

"You know I still haven't forgiven you for that Tyler thing yet, you are still in the metaphorical dog house." I warned. "It is your fault that he has deluded himself into thinking he is taking me to the prom."

"Oh he would have found a way to ask you without my help- I just really wanted to see your face." I gasped and turned my face away whilst folding my arms, giving off a childish vibe but I couldn't care less, this is what that man does to me. "If I had asked you, would you have turned me down?" he asked.

"Probably not, but I would have cancelled later when you weren't there to witness it. Faked an illness, or maybe a sprained ankle."

He looked puzzled. "Why?"

"Well, I may be able to walk with enough grace but when it comes to dancing, I can't. I thought, if you had ever seen me dance then that would be the last time you would ever talk to me, so I would cancel."

"It wouldn't be an issue." He gazed at me. "It's all in the leading." He shifted in his seat and I was convinced for a second that he was going to dance with me in the centre of the cafeteria. "But you didn't answer my original question- are you dead set on going to Seattle or would it be okay if we did something else?"

"I'm open to alternatives." I bluffed but of course, if the 'we' part was sincere I was in it for anything. "But I would like to have one request."

"And that would be..."

"Please, for the sake of all that's holy, let me drive?" I begged and he chuckled at my response but raised an eyebrow afterwards.

"Why?"

"Because I actually like living and although I am falling hard and fast I still don't trust you behind the wheel." He laughed and nodded.

"Does your mom know you are going out with me?" he asked, out of the blue but it was true, she didn't.

"Um... no." I said, blushing a little. "Why?"

"To give me some small incentive to bring you back." He didn't sound like he was joking.

"I will tell her, but you wouldn't do that." I smiled and he looked shocked. "Where are we going instead then?"

"Well the weather is going to be nice so I will be staying out of the public eye. There is nice little place I would like to show you- that is if you would want to spend the day with me."

"I will go." He took a breath and I smirked. "But you have to show me the sun thing, I want to know what you do instead of burn baby burn." I laughed and he shook his head.

"You are crazy." He muttered and I put on a cheesy grin.

"But that is why you love me!" I exclaimed and he nodded. Did he mean it? Oh god, subject change... NOW! "Let's change the subject."

"So what do you want to talk about?"

I scanned the room and ended up locking eyes with the tiny pixie sister of his named Alice. She was the only one staring at me; the others were looking at Edward. I asked the first question that popped up in my mind. "Why did you go to that Goat mountain thingy place, I was talking to my mum and she said it wasn't a good place to hunt because of the bear and- OH MY GOD! Bears? Really?" I hushed down on my tone. "Wow." I whispered. "But bears?"

"Grizzly is Emmett's favourite." He said simply and I laughed.

"If I knew what you guys were before now it wouldn't have been so shocking." I laughed. "Mum and I thought you were crazy adrenaline junkies or something." And even he laughed. "Now this brings me to ask, what is your favourite?"

"Mountain lion." He said instantly. He frowned at his honesty and I just stared, he was so complex it irritated me and I hoped that one day I could find out what he actually thought without having to think about it. I think being familiar with what he is makes him upset, but I am okay with it, he just needs to man up.

"Cool." I brushed it off as if nothing, hoping to coax what little of a free spirit Edward possessed and was hiding. "But you can't get that a lot right?" he looked shocked. "I mean, they aren't very common. It would attract attention and you would have to move, right?"

"Amazing." He whispered. "This topic doesn't bother you?"

"Nope it's just you." He looked puzzled for a moment but chose to smile instead, thank god. I couldn't handle him frowning or something again. "And I am intelligent and creative, the perfect combo for this conversation is it not?"

"You're right." He admitted and I sneaked a glance at Emmett, he was smiling hugely at me this time, I think I can learn to like this guy.

"Emmett's staring at me. Should I be worried?" Edward laughed and then turned around to give him the finger.

"My brother is crude." -was his excuse.

"So do you guys hunt every night?" I asked.

"Um, not really. I have rather good control most of the time so feeding every day and night is not necessary but being with you might end up making me hunt quite a bit more." He tried to joke but I could see it in his eyes that he was half serious.

"Sorry. Didn't think about how hard it is." I paused for a while before breaking the growing awkward silence. "So could I ever see you hunt, it sounds exciting."

"NO! God no, never. We become animals and although a good dose of fear is just what you need to make you relatively sane but I wouldn't be able to stop myself from.... from killing you." I shuddered. The mental image of Edward sinking his teeth into my neck was disturbingly enjoyable but worrying at the same time since he could do it if he wanted to. I think he noticed something else in my shudder so I quickly changed the subject.

"So... favourite lesson?" I shot out there, and he took a sigh of relief, most likely overjoyed at the subject change.

"I think it has to be biology." He smirked and I let out a short and sharp laugh.

"I knew you had a thing for the teacher!" I winked and Emmett laughed again in the distance. "Why do they all sit so far away?"

"It's not that they don't like you, it's just... you um..." he was struggling with his words so held up a hand.

"You don't have to make excuses if they don't want to know me. Seriously, I am a big girl, I can take it." I insisted but it did make me sad inside that they didn't want to see me.

"I'm not making excuses; it is just hard for them to be so close to human who smells like you. You see, you smell better than most." Excuses, excuses! I would have said something but I decided that it wouldn't be helpful.

"Okay. Will they ever be ok around me?" I asked, hoping that I could get to know them.

"I am sure of it but for now, give them some time." I nodded and finished up my meal.

"I'm done, let's go!" I cheered and stood up out of my seat smiling at him. He smiled back and pulled himself up to my level. Again he was insanely close and his eyes darkened a little. That worried me and I took a step back.

"Um, sorry." I am sure if he could, he would have blushed.

"It's fine, you can't help nature." I grabbed his hand and stalked out of the room. Alice was bouncing in her seat the last time I looked; she must have heard something she liked.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Edward! For the last time, you don't like me more! We both know I do so suck it up and accept that the reason you gave me at lunch was invalid and untrue!"

"Why don't you accept that it was and get over it?"

"Because... I have no idea. Let's just leave it, we both like each other a lot okay?" he nodded and we shook hands but Edward, being always the gentleman took my hand and raised it sweetly to his cold lips. "You are so weird sometimes." I muttered under my breath.

He pulled up outside my house and opened my door for me. "So, Saturday?"

"Saturday." I agreed before standing on my tippy toes to kiss his cheek. "I love doing that, your face is so cute!" I giggled before walking into my home. Home sweet home.

I got a review a couple of days ago saying I need to be more original and I am gonna start on that next chapter! No dodgy Bella-ish child. She will still be clumsy and stuff but a lot different if that is possible. I will catch you on the flip-side x

Chapter 18 soon!