An Impossible Reality

Chapter 19- You Have Been Doing WHAT!

Disclaimer- Sooo, you should all know by now that I don't own this Twilight stuff so must I repeat myself?

Edward POV

I crept in through her window again, this was getting ridiculous. It is like I had no control over myself anymore. If I had free time I was near her if not directly with her. I was so tired of Emmett's incessant poking at how- and I quote "whipped" I am. So many times I have contemplated telling her that I have been watching her but I worried about how she would react.

What if she threw things and got even angrier about the fact that it wouldn't hurt me one bit? Maybe she would just scream at me to get out and do her best to push me out of her window. If she was okay with it then god really does love all because that is the dream.

I sat in my usual spot, then swivel chair in her desk. She was so angelic; even if her hair was knotted and wildly displayed across her pillow she still looked good to me. This is so unhealthy, for me and her. I will hurt her and she will lead me to human blood drinking but I sure as hell didn't have it in me to walk away now, I was truly in the shit.

We shouldn't have any secrets now I suppose, especially since the whole Vampire secret is out, that was the biggest thing I had to hide. Tomorrow, I decided, I shall tell her tomorrow that I have been watching her sleep for the past month or so but until then I shall enjoy watching her steady breathing, the occasional mumbling and the sound of my name crossing her lips.

That morning I drove back from getting changed to pick her up. She walked out in a pair of skinny jeans, military boots and a leather jacket most likely concealing a band tee-shirt. "Good morning love." I smiled and kissed her cheek but instead she moved her face so it was a full blown kiss.

"Edward, Edward, Edward. You already have me, you can just kiss me straight away now." She giggled before shooting a hand out to run through my hair in, most likely, an attempt to tame it a little.

Her small hand reached for the car door handle and I grabbed it. "Not yet, I need to talk to you about something, is that okay?"

"Of course silly, what's wrong?" she smiled, blissfully unaware that I was practically stalking her... in her sleep.

I sighed, leaning back onto the side on my Volvo. "Alix, I haven't been completely honest with you about... you." Her eyebrows furrowed and I continued. "What I mean is, at night I don't stay at home. I go to-"

She suddenly looked completely disgusted at me and scoffed before storming to her car. "You pig!" How did she catch on? Did she already have suspicions? "You know something? I thought you were different! But you are the same shitty man that walks this earth today! Strip joints? Really?" She stood before me, with her hands on her hips, her face flushed with anger and her eyes laced with disgust but I just had to laugh. "What is so funny you knob!"

"I don't... that isn't what I... I have never seen..." I couldn't get a complete sentence out it was just too priceless. Once I had sobered up I looked into her big brown eyes. "I didn't mean that. I meant that I have been coming to your house and sitting in your chair whilst you... um, sleep." She looked stunned.

"You watch me sleep?" I nodded. "Like a creepy weirdo pervert?"

"Yes."

"Oh why stop there? Sniff my fucking knickers next time you dirty sicko!" She yelled before getting into her car, slamming the door and tearing out of the driveway.

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath.

I pulled up to school and the whispers began when I pulled in right after Alix instead of with Alix. I could hear them from in my car and the thoughts of those too scared to voice them were even louder.

"Oh they must have had a fight, how awful. I hope they work it out." Angela thought. Never have I heard a bad thought from her.

"Ha! He didn't want her that much after all! Still room for you Jessica, they always want a rebound after a break-up!" I shuddered at the mental images she sent my way and then there was my family.

"Edward why did you tell her? Now you are going to have to grovel, you know, cos you are so WHIPPED!" Emmett jeered mentally whilst Rosalie's was overjoyed and Alice was telling me she wasn't going to look for me. I messed it up and I needed to fix it myself, they then walked into the building.

Alix's car door swung open and slammed shut as she stormed through the crowd of people but as she reached the stairs up to the school building and yelled. "It is none of your fucking business so BLOW IT!" and stuck up her middle fingers before spinning on her heel and bursting through the front doors. I messed up.

Alix POV

Oh for fucks sake! He had to watch me sleep didn't he? Can I not find one guy that I don't embarrass myself in front of? I mean seriously, he must know how I feel about him since I keep having the same dream where I tell him I love him, he tells it me back and we kiss and it is sweet but now I bet he had a good old laugh about how pathetic I am with Alice and Emmett.

I am so pissed at him, and myself. I had to find the one guy that wasn't human and was mildly creepy. And why oh why did I call him a pantie sniffer? It is so over now there is no chance for us now. I even blew off Jacob on countless occasions for Edward so I guess you could say this is karma working its mojo.

I put my hands over my eyes as I pulled into my parking space. I could feel the eager eyes of Lauren and Jessica boring into the back of my car, knowing that Edward and I must have had a fight for us to be driving alone. Especially since he pulled in right after me.

Inside I felt bad for Edward. All the whispers would be reaching him but so would the thoughts too. Right now, I am wishing this all to be just a really shitty nightmare that I shall wake up from but most likely not. Definitely since the cold air was hitting me like a massive slap in the face as I got out of my car and stormed through the people.

"Look at her; she mustn't be good at following in her sisters footsteps. Can dish it out but isn't good at it!" Lauren sneered and I glared as I sped walked towards the stairs to the main entrance.

In all fairness it wasn't just Lauren whispering about me so I turned to face them all at the top of the stairs and yelled in my most threatening tone, "It is none of your fucking business so BLOW IT!" I then stuck up my middle fingers and rushed into the school building to go find a nice locker to kill myself in.

I successfully managed to evade Edward all day but somehow I think he was avoiding me too. This was so dumb, but he knew I loved him and I didn't know how he felt. I don't like being in situations where the guy has the upper hand.

When I walked through the door I saw Jen and Daniel being all lovey dovey with one another and it was killing me that I can't do that with Edward now. Not anymore. I messed this is up big time.

"Hey Alix!" Jen called. "We are going dress fitting tomorrow so come straight home yeah?" I nodded silently before dashing up the stairs.

Great! I have to endure a wedding/bridesmaid dress fitting for my pregnant sister and I am going to have to smile and cheer and pretend that I am overjoyed that everyone but me is getting their happy moments with their beloved. Sometimes I wonder what on earth I did that was shit that karma decided to punish me willy nilly.

By seven o'clock I had locked myself in my room and was crying out the pain. I had told mum and Jen that I was having a bad day and no matter how much I cry to leave me be. At half past mum came knocking on my door. "What do you want mum?" I called trying desperately to hide the tears in my voice.

"There is someone here to see you."

"Tell Jake to come back another day." I wasn't in the mood for him to comfort me and tell me he at least loves me.

"It isn't Jake. He says his name is Edward and that he really needs to talk to you." She must really want me to stop crying since she actually disturbed me.

"Fine, bring him up." I muttered and seconds later he opened my bedroom door. I sat on my bed with my back to the door and my front to the window. "Surprised you didn't climb up my tree and jump through my fucking window!" I grumbled and he sighed.

His footsteps came close to my chair and my shoulder got colder, telling me his hand was close but it got warmer so he decided against it. "I understand how you must f-"

"If you are going to say that you understand even a shred of the betrayal, humiliation and hurt I feel then you can piss off right now because you don't Edward!" I yelled at the end. I stood up from where I was and turned to face him. "You made me feel so dumb today! I always felt like there was someone watching me at night but it didn't even occur to me for a second that it might have been you, or any of your family for that matter!

"I bet Rosalie had a good old laugh about how I whisper your name at night right? You know, I thought I was really secretive about how deep my feelings lay but you knew all this time! How long have you been doing this?"

"Since the car crash." He whispered.

"I can't believe this." I cursed under my breath. "You want to know something funny? I actually felt bad about how I reacted this morning storming off like that, calling you a pantie sniffer and it is because I am genuinely in love with you. Then I thought, 'How does he feel about me?' but even when you knew what I would say back you didn't say it so you obviously don't love me back so explain to me Edward, what are you doing here? And no bullshit."

He suddenly started to walk at me forcing me to be backed up against the wall. "You can be so obtuse you know that?" He paused before pouring the intensity of Edward into me. "You think I don't love you? That I am not in love with you? I risked the wrath of Rosalie to date you, to anyone who knows how bad she can be would understand that all I am is in love with you.

"You need to open your beautiful brown eyes to how I feel about you. I have put in so much risk that to any human man would be easy but for me everything is that little bit harder when... intimacy is called in. Kissing you on Saturday was so hard but so worth it because I got to show you just a piece of the love I feel for you."

I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to kiss him. I wrapped my hands behind his neck and pulled myself up, pushing my body flush against him. He quickly put his hands at the small of my back to support me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. "I overreacted." I whispered, breathing heavily.

"I shouldn't have waited so long to tell you." He counteracted before kissing me again.

"Can we agree to disagree; we don't need another fall out." I laughed lightly and he nodded before putting me down. "By the way Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"Feel free to watch me sleep." I blushed a little and he brushed a hand against my cheek.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know, but I want to."

An hour later I got really tired so I walked Edward to the door. "Can I drive you to school tomorrow?" He asked me, the glint of hope in his eyes.

"Of course silly." I laughed, batting his chest before kissing him lightly, which then got a little longer in length before we heard a loud cough forcing us to break apart. "Oh sh- Heyyyy you guys." I laughed before quickly opening the door and pushing Edward and I outside.

"I love you." He smiled at me.

"I love you too." I kissed him once more before nudging him towards his car. Despite how things went down I am sure things are going to be okay, Edward and I, we are going to be okay.

This is a rewrite just to clarify as I got a review from an anonymous person saying they didn't like the reactions and after rereading it I understand where they are coming so this time there was a different journey but a similar ending. Hope you enjoyed it and please alert and review because I need feedback clearly xD

Chapter 20 coming to a Fanfiction near YOU!