You all know Ganesh, right? He's normally a repeat reviewer.
Zelda: Normally?
We tag-teamed on writing this chapter! n.n
Pause...
Everyone: WHAT?
Uh-huh! And before everyone starts freaking out, that is not why it's late. That was Life, insomnia and homework. I am beyond pleased with this arrangement; two minds are better than one, teamwork get things done better, and a whole bunch of other sayings I could throw at you n.n
Midna: So...now that there's two of you...how much...?
We will see.
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
In the meantime, I'd like Ganesh and his OC to introduce themselves please!
Before anyone could so much as think, a purple and blue cone of light appeared as a tall teenager floated down to the ground, clad in funny looking blue and white robes, wearing a blue, pointed hat with a wide white brim, and wielding a staff with a white orb on top of it in one hand and a small green book in the other. His brown eyes barely visible from under the brim of his hat, out of which poked some unruly black hair.
Me: Suddenly, I feel very short...
Ganesh: Hi! *Looks around* Where's Michael?
A loud BANG echoed throughout the studio.
Another young man of around the same height appeared beside the first guest. He was wearing a grey tunic, black pants, black gauntlets with adorned with the Twilian Insignia, and was clad in a near-floor-length black robe that was covered in Twilian symbols and had a hood that almost concealed his face. From behind it, a calm grey eye peered out at them. The robe was contrasted by a grey cape that ended near his feet. Two long hilts, one silver-blue and one fire-red, poked out from behind his shoulders. Two shorter hilts, one black and the other sky-blue were visible behind his arms.
Michael: Right here.
Me: And now that introductions and descriptions are out of the way, let's get to work!
Now Unlike Last week I'll put these ones up Immediately
Shadow: since your being such a whinny brat fine *snaps fingers* Your now a Hylian
Sophie: Draw a picture off Twilli-Kokiri Link and post it on devient art (You Know you want to let this just be the push you need)
Everyone: Play the CDI Zelda games
*Warps into studio* If I've made anyone here angry at me or made their lives too embarrassing, painful, or a living hell go ahead and attack I won't hold it against you (Excluding gannondork because his life is supposed to suck)
Vatti sing "Just the way you are " by Bruno Mars to Em (It songs perfect for how madly in love they are)
Mido: answer truthfully or I will shove my Getsukage up your ass! Why do you hate Link
Ganondorf: I'm giving you a brake Here is a virtual reality helmet that will let you see Hyrule under your control
Saria: Have you ever been so Insulted by another Kokiri that you kicked the min the nuts?
Navi: Here are some baby pictures of Tael
Young Link: Here are some blackmail photos of Tatl (don't ask how I got them It was very painful and involved me getting my heart stabbed, my bones broken, electrocuted,being a victim of successful crotch bombing, run over, drugged, drugged again, really drugged, fake drugged,and electrocuted while learning Gorish, and Zoranisse.)(I'm soooo glade I'm immortal and have hyper regeneration)
Tetra: Become a Ninja
Shiek: Become a Pirate
Majora: You are forced to go on a date with Oni
GDT: I grant you the ability to turn human to keep a better eye on your children.
Emily: I'm sorry for pulling you out of the dressing room but you needed to face your fears He is IN LOVE WITH YOU!
Vatti: truth Do you love Emily (I really hope he does)
Malon: You get to date Dark.
Zelda: you get to date Shadow
Nabooru: I turned Gerudo valley into a lush green oasis and forest so your people no longer have to struggle
Goddesses : I chalange you three to an arm wrestle (I'm going to regret this ^_^')
-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri
Shadow: *puts hands on hips* I was not being a "whinny brat," it's just that I've wanted to be Hylian for longer than he's existed!
Me: I'll get right to work on that, and let everyone know when it's done. Life's a little busy right now.
Everyone: *starts playing*
However long that took later...
Me: *tosses aside game console with visible relief*
Michael: Are you sure that that wasn't some sadistic form of torture? *indicates the pulverized wreck of a game console behind him*
Em: Everything we have to do could be interpreted as such on some level.
Ganesh: Thank God that's over. *Mysteriously, his TV and game console are both missing*
Me: *warps Kozan back out before Majora attacks* She'd attack you anyway. It's probably not wise to keep doing that sort of thing, Kozan.
Ganesh: And in case anyone is wondering where my TV and game console went...let's just say that they should be cooking nicely right about now. *Smiles*
Vaati: *plays guitar and sings this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=Aq8MfmKJ7aE to Emily*
Em: *bright red*
Mido: *pouting* Without even having a fairy, he's still the favorite of both Saria and the Great Deku Tree! It's not fair!
Michael: Live with it, at least Link didn't run away from Queen Gohma.
Mido: How do you know about that?
Michael: *glaring* I know a lot of things, get used to it.
Ganondorf: *puts on helmet and starts grinning like an idiot*
Majora: *takes advantage of the moment to stick Ganondorf with a random sword*
Michael: *Notices that Laevateinn is missing again* Just because Ganesh gave it to you in Chapter 19 doesn't mean you can steal it! *Pulls out Claimh Solais and blasts Majora with a light bolt, takes his Flame Sword back*
Majora: *picks herself up off the floor* Ow. *glares*
Michael: *To Majora* And this is for you. *Starts juggling blue-hot fire bolts* Let's have a vote, shall we? All those in favor of me continuing to juggle these, say 'Ay'.
There were a few chuckles and "Ay"s from around the room.
Michael: *Still juggling the bolts* And those in favor of me throwing every single one of these at Ganondorf?
Whistles, clapping and cheers filled the studio.
Michael: *Evil grin* Motion passed. Ganesh, you wanna join the fun?
Ganesh: *Even-more-evil grin* My pleasure. *Lifts staff*
Suddenly, as each bolt of blue-hot fire made contact with Michael's hand, instead of tossing them back up, he threw each one at Ganondorf. As each blue bolt exploded into hungry flames, Ganesh was throwing what looked like circular saws made entirely of concentrated air, each one simultaneously cutting the Evil King and making the flames flare brightly.
Me: Don't leave me out! *summons a few of those sacred daggers from a few chapters ago, and starts launching them at Ganon*
Michael and Ganesh: *grinning* Wouldn't ever dream of it.
Ganondorf: *flailing around wildly, covered in flames* WHY! Why must the Triforce make me immortal but still not take away the ability to feel pain!
Me: That's life, Piggy *starts eating a sandwich*
Saria: *Looks thoughtful* No, I don't think so. No one in the forest really has cause to insult anyone else...not counting Mido picking on Link.
Mido: *whining somewhere in the background*
Michael: For which Link has never got Mido back, interestingly enough...
Me: He stabbed him through the foot a while back.
Michael and Ganesh: Hmm? I think I missed that.
Me: Someone Dare them to swordfight. But I don't think Mido even owns a sword...
Michael: Let's fix that. *Evil grin*
Mido: *Pales*
Michael: *Raises his hand as black particles storm around it, forming Orlox's Sword* *to Sophie* Remember this one?
The sword looked like a cross between a great sword and a saber, but was closest in appearance to a Darknut's sword. The sword's length was around Michael's height, which was why he was holding the thing with both hands and had it pointing to the floor. There were Twilian designs here and there, but the main feature of the blade were the blood-red runes inscribed onto the wide blade itself. Those runes were the symbol of the blood pact that gave the blade its powers, to an extent.
Me: *already chuckling* Yeah.
Michael: *Booming voice* AND NOW, FOR A DEMONSTRATION OF ITS POWER!
Suddenly, the giant blade seemed to soften slightly.
Ganondorf: *Sniggering* That's it? It's power is to soften? HAH!
Just as abruptly as the first change, the blade immediately solidified into a giant meat tenderizer.
Me: *laughing quietly to herself*
Mido/Ganondorf: *go very pale*
Michael: *Twirls pseudo-meat tenderizer threateningly* And just so you know, to me, this thing isn't nearly as heavy as it was for Link, having been endowed with the blood pact's power and with the responsibility of fulfilling the pact after killing the previous owner of the blade.
Em: *looks at me* What's so funny?
Me: *gasping from laughter* They...are about...to die!
Michael: Not necessarily. *Pounds Ganondorf in the same way Toon Link pounded the Helmarock King with the Skull Hammer, then turns Orlox's Sword into a small Kokiri-sword-sized dagger, hands dagger to Mido*
Mido: *nervous* Th-thanks...I guess.
Michael: *grins* No problem. *Thought* Revert.
Suddenly, the now-Pseudo-dagger reverted to its original form of the giant sword, pinning the bullying Kokiri underneath it.
Ganesh: *grinning as Mido squirms to free himself* Wow, how do we manage to go on these tangents from a simple, yet in this case quite crude, Dare?
Me: *shrug* We're having too much fun I guess. *consults list* Let's see...*hands Navi book of baby pictures*
Navi: *clutches it to her chest, blushing furiously*
Ganesh: I thought those were Tael's baby photos, not yours.
Me: Navi gets his, because he got hers. *hands Link Tatl's pictures*
Sheik/Tetra: *switch outfit styles* *stare at eachother*
Majora: *glares* I hate you all.
Oni: *looks hurt* What's wrong with a date with me?
Majora: I hate you the most *both are warped out*
Ganesh: Should I make sure they don't try to kill each other in addition to keeping record of this historical moment?
Me: Nah, they're both immortal. They can seriously hurt each other, but not much more.
Ganesh: What about keeping record of the date?
Me: Go ahead. I'm finding ice cream *wanders off*
Later...At whatever restaurant they were at...
The two half-deities were, unlike Ganesh's prediction, not attempting to tear each other to pieces. Oni actually looked quite happy about the whole deal, as well as the seemingly infinite supply of alcohol that he was trying to put a dent in. Of course, it could also have something to do with the fact that, this time around, Majora was neither a raging beast that was the sole inhabitant of some ghostly netherworld nor was she some kind of demonic wraith and he a mask that she was keeping uncomfortably close by. No, this time, she actually looked quite nice, and was keeping her sadist side under the surface.
Majora looked up from her fish, and glared across the table. "You realize that if you weren't immortal, you'd be in an alcoholic coma by now?"
He nodded happily, earning him a snort of disgust. He squinted over her shoulder, and muttered, "Hey, isn't that the wizard from the studio?"
Majora shot to her feet and whirled around. "Where?"
Ganesh, seeing that he had been spotted (Insert Metal Gear Solid-style exclamation mark here), quickly teleported to another table. But not quickly enough that Majora didn't notice the blue and purple cone of light.
"You!" Everyone in the room turned around to look at her at the same time. She didn't care as she stormed across the room. Sophie warped in, grabbed Ganesh by the arm, and warped them both out with a small "pop!"
Oni sighed, and turned back to his drink.
Ganesh: Thanks for saving me from an homicidal half-deity.
Me: No problem. She can be a pain some times.
Majora: *Teleports in* You! What were you doing there!
Ganesh: *discreetly hands Sophie an account of the date before walking forward* And why can't I go there? That place has my favorite kind of steak! Not to mention an almost endless supply of beer, mead, wine, and just about any other alcoholic beverage you can think of.
Me: Oh, that reminds me! I need to go get Oni. Not safe to drink and warp, all that. *pops out*
Ganesh: *Suddenly looks terrified of being in the same room as Majora* Umm...
Majora: *slightly angry but mostly seductive* Where do you think you're going?
Ganesh: *Looks around frantically, teleports to random chandelier hanging from the ceiling* Away! That's where.
Me: *back with a very drunk Oni* What the hell is going on here? Majora, you are not allowed to attack my co-author or his co-host!
Ganesh: *Still hanging from the chandelier* I actually think she was trying to flirt with me at the same time, it's kinda scary!
Me: *walking Oni to the restroom* Yeah, she's one of those people who'll sleep with some one and kill them in the morning. I still can't believe she came from my imagination.
Ganesh: Technically she came from the imagination of the great Shigeru Miyamoto(Co-A/N: Forgive me if I misspelled his name, no offense to him intended. And if I did, someone please tell me how to spell it correctly).
Me: Not her personality, sadly enough.
Zelda: *walks into studio* What's she doing this time?
Those words fell completely deaf on a certain necromancer. Michael was finding himself unable to do anything more than stare at whoever had just come out of the girl's dressing room. For him, time had just all but stopped as he looked at her. The sheer wisdom that seemed to radiate from her, in addition to her beauty, was undescribable. To put it shortly, he was floored almost instaneously.
Tingle: *sniggering* Ooh, is the fairy in what Tingle describes as 'love at first sight'!
Nobody is quite sure of what happened next, but one minute, Tingle and Michael were standing a good few meters away from each other, the next, an eight foot tall demon holding a large maul with a block-ish, spiked head was where Tingle was standing looking as though it had already swung and Tingle was flying out a creepy-35-year-old-guy-in-green-tights-shaped hole in the wall mid-way through saying 'Tingle, Tingle, Koo-Limpah!'
Demon: That felt good. *grins, turns back*
Michael: *innocently* Where were we? *Sheaths both swords, makes Orlox's sword revert to a sword, makes it disappear*
Great Deku Tree: *becomes an old man* Wha?
Em: *blushing even harder*
Vaati: *blushing a little* Um...well...yeah.
Michael: *grinning* Well, in that case. *Discreetly hands Vaati a few pages from his Grimoire* You'd be surprised what kind of books you can find in the Library over in Hyrule Castle.
Vaati: *Looks at the pages, then starts blushing furiously*
Emily: What are those?
Vaati: *Stuffs the pages into his pocket hastily* N-nothing.
Malon/Zelda/Dark/Shadow: *warped out*
five minutes later...
Zelda: *warps them all back* That was beyond awkward.
Nabooru: *bows* Thank you.
Farore/Nayru/Din: *start arm wrestling*
I. Hate. Chemistry. But, I love this fic, so it all evens out.
Dares:
Kafei: It's time, bro. *Pulls out shampoo and washbasin* I know it's not really purple.
The Bombers: 3... 2... 1... GO!
Majora: Explain to our readers the story of Spring Break of '92. And make sure not to leave out the Mardi Gras necklace fiasco.
Truths:
The Bombers: Why are you so obnoxious?
Din: What purpose could there have possibly been for giving Ganondorf the Triforce of Power?
Link: Is it true that whoever has both Triforces will take control of the kingdom?
-PSI Objection
Ganesh: PSI Objection, your username is a compilation of two copyright violations.
Me: Lots of ours are, except for those of us who made it from our names.
Ganesh: Good point.
Kafei: *grabs his scalp* No! It is natural! Make it a Truth, I'll say it again!
Em: Why are you freaking out about this?
Kafei: Anju once thought it was dyed and scrubbed it 'til it turned white.
Bombers: *scatter*
Michael: *Tracks each one down*
Majora: Which part? Oni getting even drunker than he is now? The number of "streakers" there were there? Or the part where I-
Me: I'm gonna stop you right there. MOVING ON!
Ganesh: Mardi Gras Necklace fiasco? Someone please tell me what PSI Objection means by that!
Jim: Us? Obnoxious?
Other Bombers: *equally oblivious*
Din: What makes you think I gave it to him? He stole it.
Ganesh: I personally thought he made it quite clear that he was entitled to it, but that could just be him being really stuck up.
Me: "When a thief touches the Triforce, if their heart isn't perfectly balanced, they will only receive the part they value most." Isn't that how the legend goes?
Din: *nods*
Link: There are three Triforces...
Dares:
Emily: HAHA! Now that you are out of the dressing room, let's try the anti-shyness lessons again! (Laughs diabolically, gets smacked upside the head by Michael)
Majora: I forgot one mask for you to fuse with the Fierce D. The...(insert drum roll here) Fierce Deku! Guess who gets to wear it!
Ganondorf: Make fun of the fact that Michael is smitten with Zelda. I just want to see you in agonizing pain. Don't worry, I'm bringing you back to life in my fic!
Truths:
Emily: Why the heck are you so shy? Seriously!
Vaati: How'd you like the Fierce Keaton mask?
Oni: Why the hell did you flirt with Majora? Seriously!
Majora: Do you want to kill Oni? Cause if so, then go right ahead.
Juggling two different fanfics at once,
-ganesh295
Em: *tries to run for the changing room again*
Michael: *Blocks Em* Come on, what's so bad about anti-shyness lessons?
Em: I-it's not the lessons themselves... It's the implied embarrassment that worries me...
Michael: *Reassuring smile* There's nothing embarrassing about wanting to get help, is there? *Death glares everyone else except for Vaati*
Ganondorf: *Laughs*
Michael: *discreetly sticks him in the stomach with both wrist blades* Yeah, I know, those jokes are really funny, aren't they?
Ganondorf: Ow. *Wondering why Twilian metal hurts him*
Somewhere in the background...
Majora: *pulls energy out of Oni's mask and puts it in the Deku Mask*
Oni: *holds his stomach* Why do you keep doing this to me? It effing hurts.
Ganesh: That's why she does it, she enjoys the pain of others.
Oni: I am really glad I'm still mostly drunk.
Ganesh: I thought deities were largely immune to the effects of alcohol.
Oni: No. Not pain either.
Majora: *Points at Ganesh* You! (Yup, she's still ticked off about that)
Me: Dear gods, let it go!
Majora: No! First, I had to go on a date with an alcohol-loving deity, and he *Points at Ganesh as though there's a crossbow attached to her finger* kept a record of it!
Me: *hiding the record* Did what? Is there any evidence?
Majora: *Still screaming* Yes! I saw his book! He had to have written it in that!
Ganesh: Actually, that's my God Book, it has a list of spells in it, as well as enhancing my magical power.
Me: Every author has their special item. I have a pen that doubles as a dagger, KBB his super powerful keyboard, etc.
Ganesh: Actually, this *indicating his robes* is all from Runescape.
Me: ...So the book's not your item?
Ganesh: No. This *pulls out a black book with a Triforce symbol on it* is my item. It's basically a replica of Michael's Grimoire, out of which he is now reading anti-shyness lessons to Em. But it has a very interesting property. *Pulls a sheet out of it* Now watch as the powers of origami take hold! *Quickly folds the paper into a shuriken* TADA!
Majora: So? You made a paper throwing-star, good for you.
Ganesh: -_-...*throws the shuriken at the wall, where it sticks with a loud THUNK* You were saying?
Me: Okay...Let's move on before we run out of chapter space.
Ganesh: I thought there wasn't a limit on these chapters.
Me: There's not. We might be having a wee bit too much fun, though...
Ganesh: Last I checked, there wasn't such thing as 'too much fun'. *Makes more paper throwing-stars and uses them to pin FD to the wall by his clothes* See?
Oni: *muttering* Oh, that's real nice...
Me: You're not drunk anymore, are you?
Oni: ...No.
Ganesh: Oh fine, *Pulls out even more paper-throwing stars and pins Majora to the wall beside him* Happy now?
Majora: No. *glares*
Oni: Actually, I do feel a little better...
Majora: Shut up.
Ganesh: I don't know whether I should be laughing or completely freaked out...
Me: Don't laugh, you'll insult her. You don't want her any angrier than she already is.
Ganesh: *Wondering aloud* And you'd think she'd let go of it by now...tut, tut *Shakes head*
Oni: She's held a grudge against me for a few thousand years...
Majora: *punches Oni* I said shut up!
Ganesh: Yeah, well you kinda deserve it. *Walks away whistling* *To Sophie* Don't they make such a cute couple though?
Me: *also walking away, smiling* Yeah, and he's the only man she can't kill, so they're practically perfect for each other.
Ganesh: I think we just gave birth to another pairing...*shudders* Non-canon pairings don't make me feel too good...for whatever reason.
Me: If it's cute and it works, I'll support it. Don't ask why.
Michael: *still reading off anti-shyness lessons and walking Em through some exercises to help with shyness* Now, I want to go through how you are supposed to stand up to someone... Let's use Ganondorf as our test subject.*Thinking* Maybe I should've used someone less... intimidating, maybe someone on the shorter side would've been a better idea too, I mean, come on, he's eight feet tall and doesn't need to absorb the essences of two elemental blades to get to that height!
Em: I-I don't know about that... I mean...*gulps*
Majora: *slams the Fierce Deku Mask on Ganon's face*
Fierce Deku Ganondorf was a small, wrinkly-looking Deku Scrub, with "thinning" red hair and an odd looking face.
Ganondorf: Hey!
Me: How'd you get down?
Majora: *nods toward Michael*
Oni: *from other room* WILL SOME ONE PLEASE LET ME DOWN?
Michael: *exasperated* Again with the paper shurikens?
Ganesh: *grinning* Better than usual actually, I didn't take any skin off.
Em: *facepalm*
Me: *eating Pocky* What?
Em: Never mind. Um... My Truth; I'm not exactly formidable, powerful, or gorgeous, so...
Midna: So you don't have the world's best self-confidence?
Em: Yeah...
Michael: So! Neither am I, compared to Midna or Link or Zelda. And I don't think I can be thought of as shy.
Ganesh: *glaring* Michael, shut it and stop rubbing it in.
Me:*also glaring* Women happen to be sensitive to these things most of the time.
Michael: *hanging head in shame* Thank you very much, Over-confident side.
Most characters in studio: *exchanging looks*
Me: *rolls her eyes*
Ganesh: Let's forget this happened. *glares at Michael before casting spell that blanked out the memories of the last few seconds for everyone in the studio except for himself and Sophie* So far as most of the people here are concerned, this never happened...I love memory modification.
Majora: ...What?
Me: *small smile* Nothing. Moving on...
Ganesh: So, Vaati, how did you like the Fierce Keaton mask? *summons one*
Vaati: *looking very scared* It hurt... and she *points trembling finger at me* freaked out.
Me: You were so cute, though!
Majora: *shocked stare* ...He's standing, visibly, within twenty feet of the fangirl author!
Ganesh: *sarcastic* No, really! It's a historical moment!
Majora: *glare* I was a bit surprised, is all.
Oni: SOMEBODY LET ME DOWN!
Em: *sighs and walks off*
Ganesh: Ah well *sighs* it was fun while it lasted...though it was even funnier when Majora was stuck up there with him.
Majora: I will kill you.
Me: No, you won't.
Ganesh: *sweatdrop* See ya for now! *hands Sophie the Fierce Keaton mask and runs as fast as the robes will allow, with Majora close behind him* I'll be right back...I hope.
Me: *shrugs and looks at the list* Let's see... Oni, you have a Truth *shows him*
Oni: *shrug* It's what I do.
Me: ...And you're immortal so Majora can't kill you. NEXT SET!
Michael: Are you sure? I thought Ganondork was supposed to make fun of me first?
Me: He's a Deku. Please can we move on? *puppy dog eyes*
Michael: *eye twitch* Um... *thinking:* Can't...resist...puppy dog...eyes...Oh I give up... *speaking:* Can I burn him at the end of the chapter?
Me: Burn him anytime you want. I'm getting the next set, though.
Hi!
Dares:
Ganondorf- Let everybody tie you up to a pole, then whack you until they feel like stopping! :D
Zelda- slap OoT Link multiple times.
Sheik- Hey, hey, hey, geuss what? I love you. :D *hugs and does not let go*
Shadow- go around popping out of everybody's shadow randomly to scare them.
Em- aww, it's okay. I think Vaati feels the same way. Have a cookie. :)
Truths:
Zelda- You have magic right? Why did you never help Link? And don't give me that Sheik crap!
Link- Have you ever actually resent Zelda for making you go save Hyrule?
-Iloveshiekey
Ganesh: *reappears* You have a semi-fangirl/boy-ish, not gonna go into which, username.
Me: They acknowledged it themself the first time they reviewed.
Ganesh: Oh...man, I miss way too much around here...
Me: Speaking of missing, where's Majora?
Ganesh: The binding spell should be wearing off in three...two...one.
Majora: *drops from the chandelier, lands unharmed*
Me: ...How does everyone do that but me?
Ganesh: You never tried.
Me: I did. I deleted it. It was embarrassing. Moving on.
Ganesh: How many times are you going to say that?
Me: *pinches the bridge of her nose* However many it takes. And I thought we were unfocused normally...
Ganesh: My presence adds a whole new level of chaos to most things...I like chaos!
Me: *points to everyone* Ganondorf, Pinata Dare recreation.
Deku Ganon: *attempts to run for his life*
Everyone else: *catches him, tie him up, and beat him to a sappy (he is a plant) pulp*
Zelda: *slaps Kokiri Link twice, then gives him a hug* Sorry, Dare.
Sheik: *looks very, very uncomfortable* Um...fangirl...can't...breathe...
Shadow: *pops out of Midna's shadow* Boo!
Midna: *slaps him with her giant, flame-orange hair hand*
Shadow: Ow...Do I have to do this?
Me: Yes. *shoos him on his way*
Ganesh: *shaking head* This never gets old, does it?
Everyone else: *nods sagely*
Em: *eye twitch* I hate it when they do that...
Me: *blinks* Why?
Em: It just irritates me.
Ganesh: AHH! The return of the sagely nodding! *undertone* I'm not entirely sure that that's a real word...
Me: *shrug* Lots of things we say aren't real words.
Michael: Ah well... Next! *Shadow pops out of Michael's shadow*
Shadow: *Resignedly* Boo!
Em: *rolls her eyes and starts eating her cookie*
Michael: *stares at Shadow* Do you have some kind of unconscious death wish?
Shadow: *wince* No... the Dare says "everyone's shadow". *melts back into the shadow and pops up halfway across the room*
Michael: *Pulls out his crossbow and shoots him* This thing never fails to come in handy.
Shadow: *tugs out the bolt* OWOWOW! This sucks!
Michael: Said handiness becomes quite self-evident when I use barbed bolts. *innocent smile*
Zelda: Spirit Tracks? I save Link's life, and travel with him the whole way.
Ganesh: Not to be forgotten, the numerous Zelink moments in that game...they should do that more often...
Me: Yeah, if Nintendo made the official pairing of each game clearer, people would stop yelling at each other about "OTP"s
Ganesh: They did that in Twilight Princess didn't they? Making the official pairing quite clear.
Me: I think so, but there are people who'd argue... Ah well. Some fans won't be satisfied even if the characters are making out in a corner for half the game...
Ganesh: Somehow I doubt that...
Me: *shrug* Link?
Link: Once or twice, normally when I'm fighting a really hard boss.
Ganondorf: Get revenge on Link for everything he's done to you.
Link: Sorry.
Tatl: Did you prank Shad? If so, what did you do?
Midna: Marry Twili Link.
Ashei: Can you teach me to fight?
Random Torch Slug: Die! *stabs with Shad's dagger*
Shad: Here you are. *returns dagger* If an army of slugs comes after you, just blame me, 'kay?
-Wildheart
Ganesh: Should I even comment about this username?
Me: People are going to wonder what you would have said, but I'm going to say no.
Ganesh: Why do I have a feeling that this is going to become something of a running gag?
Me: ...I think it might already be one...
Ganesh: *Smiling* Yay! I've always wanted some sort of running gag.
Me: You mean like my Pocky? *pulls some out of thin air*
In the background, Deku Ganon was firing bubbles at people he didn't like (aka, everyone he saw)
Majora: *is hit* *freezes* Is there snot in my hair? *slowly turns to the nearest person* There is, isn't there?
Postman: *frightened nod*
Majora: *pulls out her whips, growling* He is dead!
Michael: I am not to be outdone in this matter! *Pulls out Laevateinn, points it at Ganondorf* Kill.
Ganesh: And have I just been forgotten? *Twirls staff in an intricate pattern* Rage of Chaos!
Me: HIT THE DECK! *does so*
Everyone not involved in this: *takes her advice*
Ganesh: And just so you know, there is no such thing as overkill in my book.
Suddenly, a loud THOOOM echoed throughout the studio as Ganesh unleashed his power in the form of a shockwave that alternated between grey, black, white, red, yellow, and silver blue and knocked over the Deku, ripping gashes in its wooden skin. Majora soon followed, lashing the transfigured Evil King with her viciously spiked whips until Laevateinn, by now a blazing blur, cleanly impaled the Deku and nailed him to the wall as the flames on the Loki-crafted blade consumed the wooden being.
Deku Ganondorf: *is very, very dead*
Ganesh, Michael, and Majora: *celebrating a job well done*
Ganesh: Should we even bother to revive him?
Shadow: *pops out of Ganesh's shadow* Boo!
Ganesh: AHHHHHH! *smashes Shadow across the face with his staff, then blasts him with four fire-bolts simultaneously*
Shadow: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! THIS REALLY SUCKS! WHY DO I KEEP CHOOSING THE WRONG PEOPLE TO SCARE!
Me: *heals him* I think we should release Shadow from his Dare. He's suffered enough. *pats Shadow on the head*
Michael: Objection! *Phoenix Wright pose, pulls out a Deluxe Pictograph Box and snaps a picture of Sophie patting Shadow on the head* Now he has. *pockets the picture, smiles*
Me: *twitch* …I can empathize with Majora right now.
Majora: You want to kill him?
Me: *glares at everyone* I'm getting sugar. Don't kill each other. *stomps out*
Ganesh: *looks around* I know this is kinda late coming, but Wildheart, your username is awesome in its own respect.
Link: ...For what? The Dares are starting to blur together...
Nabooru: I think that's a sign we've been doing this for too long.
Midna: Didn't someone else already have us get married?
Em: I think so...
Tatl: *sniggering* I replaced a few pages in his diary with pictures of Ashei, and then showed her the pictures. *full-out laughing* That was definitely one of my funnier ones!
Link: You do realize he's right here, and he has a bottle.
Tatl: *sweatdrop* Wha- *is bottled by Shad* Oh...great...
Michael: Now that is karma at its finest!
Ashei: If you'd like.
Torch Slug: *is dead*
Shad: *stares at the dagger* There's still blood on it...
Me: *skips back in* Hey, we have triple-chocolate ice-cream in the fridge! *pause* Or maybe I should say "had triple-chocolate ice-cream in the fridge." I think we're out. *innocent smile*
Yes, I ruined something! And now I'm making myself look like a complete donkey! *Turns face into Donkey's from Shrek* lulz, Eddie Murphy.
Truths:
Majora-what size watch do you wear?
GDT-do you like syrup?
Saria-how can the Ocarinas be used like cell phones. Other than magic, of course.
Dares:
Tingle-your turn! Get turned into a complete donkey.
Malladus-YOU HAVE FAILED! *Sucks you up with a vacuum cleaner* that is incorrect, Master Malladus.
Ganondorf-eat spinach that has been sitting in between the toes of a weevil for tree weeks.
I think I'm high on crackficy goodness.
-Foxpilot
Majora: ...What? Why would I wear a watch?
Great Deku Tree: No!
Saria: They...can't. Not without magic.
Tingle: *horrified face* NO! Tingle cannot turn into a donkey! How will Tingle be able to find fairies? NO! *is completely turned into Donkey from Shrek*
Everyone: *feeling a wide range of emotions from pleasure (Majora) to horror (Link, Midna, Zelda, and all the fairies present) to straight-up WTF looks (everyone else)*
Malladus: *muffled noises from inside vacuum bag*
Ganesh: Exactly what kind of vacuum was that? The Poltergeist 3000?
Me: The what now?
Ganesh: *teaching voice* The Poltergeist 3000 is an advanced vacuum with subspace storage systems that can hold indefinite amounts of spiritual energy. In addition, it can regurgitate elements such as Fire, Water, and Ice when the appropriate coins are collected. The coins allow Luigi to see the Elemental ghosts as cute little balls with yellow-orange eyes. The Elemental ghosts can then be vacuumed up to provide Luigi with a quantity of a specific type of spiritual energy. When the energy is expended, it drains from the Elemental ghost's power until it runs out, at which point Luigi would be required to suck up another Elemental ghost. The power can be released as either a steady stream or a quick burst. He can instantly refill the ghost's power by sucking up another of the same type. If he vacuums an Elemental ghost of a different element, then the current Elemental ghost will instantly be ejected from the Poltergeist 3000 and the element will change to that of the new ghost.
Me: Ah. Got it. *revives Deku Ganon and hands him the plate of disgusting, rotting spinach*
Deku Ganon: How am I supposed to eat with this? *points to snout*
Me: Majora will be happy to help you, if you need it.
Majora: *cracks her knuckles*
Deku Ganon: *gulps*
Midna: *picks him up with her hair hand and starts bashing him against the studio walls* And that's for killing me! *puts him down and removes the mask*
Ganondorf: *lying on the floor dazed* Oww... everything...hurts.
Michael: *staring at the spinach with a look of disgust* I am actually considering asking that he be released from this one, but nobody would likely want to miss this one. *gulp* Ugh this is going to be disgusting. *reaches out to pick up the spinach, evil grin* On second thought, *pulls out Valmanway, picks up the spinach with an Illusion blade, moves the blade to over Ganondorf's mouth* this works much better.
Ganondorf: *shuts his mouth*
Michael: Stop acting like a two year-old!
Ganondorf: *Opens his mouth* How dare you call me-
Michael: *tosses up the spinach with the illusion copy and then stuffs it down Ganondorf's throat*
Ganondorf: *gagging on the spinach*
Michael: *somewhat evil grin* I could definitely get used to this.
Ganesh: You do realize that they can Dare you as well, right?
Michael: $#!T!
Ganondorf: *has choked to death*
Me: ...Hey, we've succeeded in killing him twice so far this chapter! Must have something to do with overkill.
Ganesh: Again, I say that there is no such thing as this "overkill" you speak of.
Me: Anyway, NEXT! *picks up next list*
Heyyyyyy!
Dares:
Zant: since ive been bit lienent on you lately, you are gonna get a mega dare! You have to get high on helium, scream like that fred dude from youtube and while your still high, you have to date an ordon goat who can talk and has a weird foot fetish. Good luck!... Or not...?
Link: Hunt gannondorf. You know like as in big game hunting. Do everything you can kill your quarry.
Gannondeer: you have to avoid Link to stay alive. Unfourtunatly, you will have to wear HUGE antlers (hence the nickname I just gave you), which will be a disadvantage. The get out dare free card will not work on this dare( dont you just love loop holes?) Good luck...?
Majora: what was with the flirting with Oni? I thought you were supposed to hate each other? Or are you hiding somthing?
HMS: why do you always smile even when you were clearly angry at link that one time in the clocktower?
Zelda: Find these things: an egomaniac, all of the free willy movies, a pink goron, and a pair Vatti's shoes. Its just a rediculous scavenger hunt. If you somehow find the pink goron then i honestly dont know what i will do
Midna: nice job in beating zelda in that last dare! You may have some ice cream or you can have a snuggie.
Vats: which one of your forms do you like best?
Tingle: i seriously dont belive that someone acctualy turned you into a fairy, so im going to have to tourture you. The tourture will be the chinese water torture. Just be grateful that im not using the bamboo torture on you this chapter ( if you dont know what it is then look it up on google)
-Megzarie
Ganesh: Megzarie, I honestly don't think I would've been able to come up with that username myself.
Zant: *Pouting* No! I'm not going on a date with a goat!
Me: Then we send you to the fangirl pit.
Ganesh: He doesn't have any fangirls. How's that supposed to work?
Me: Do I need to count the haters?
Ganesh: Never mind. Maybe he'll change his mind when he's got the helium in 'im.
Me: *nods and hands Zant a helium tank*
Zant: *looks puzzled*
Me: Just stick the tube in your mouth and take a deep breath, okay?
Ganesh: Are you sure that this is a smart thing to do?
Me: We've had dares for him that are?
Ganesh:...good point. On with the insanity!
Zant: *takes a deep breath of helium, and squeaks* Hey! *clearly likes being squeaky* *runs around screaming*
Ganesh: I hope he realizes that this is really ticking certain people off and, considering what happened a few minutes ago...
Me: Are you implying that he can think ahead? *warps Zant to his creepy date*
Ganesh: No, I'm stating that he can't.
Me: Should we warp Link and Ganon out so no one else gets hurt on their dare?
Ganesh: Be my guest, even though, technically, I am your guest.
Me: *warps them out* *reading list* Let's see... Majora?
Majora: I do hate him. If I had any say in it, he'd be dead by now.
Oni: Honestly! What did I ever do to you?
Ganesh: You "killed" her original form and the mask wraith, although that was as a mask that Link wore.
Oni: She stuck me in that mask!
Me: You pissed her off when she was mortal. Was not a good idea, that.
Ganesh: Indeed.
HMS: I always smile! It is why I am "Happy"!
Tetra: ...By any chance, are you related to "the man of smiles" from Phantom Hourglass?
Ganesh: Do they even know the other exists?
HMS: I have many pupils, though I know not what they are calling themselves by now...
Ganesh: *is looking very mortified*
Em: What's up?
Ganesh: Take note of the creepy person with an even freakier smile.
Em: I'm trying not to.
Michael: NEXT!
Zelda: Impossible scavenger hunts... Why does something like this always show up?
Michael: Not so impossible really. They didn't say anything about illusions. *uses illusionary magic to turn Darbus pink* I feel sorry for the poor sucker who laughs at him.
Zelda: *smiles* Thanks! *glances at list* Egomaniac would be Ganon... Movies are in the rec room. *wanders off*
Michael: *blushing for obvious reasons*
Midna: What kind of ice cream?
Me: There's a box of Mint Chocolate-Chip in the freezer...
Midna: *grabs Twili Link's hand and drags him into the kitchen*
Michael: *shaking head with a strange smile on his face* And yet after quite a measure of time as her bodyguard, she can still surprise me.
Vaati: I prefer to be Hylian, actually. It's safer than Minish and... well, better looking than Demon.
Em: *blush*
Michael: She agrees strongly.
Em: H-hey!
Michael: What? I did this with Link and Midna all the time. *sigh* Those were the days...
Em: *stares at her feet* What's the next dare?
Me: Chinese water torture.
Ganesh: How on earth is that going to work with a fairy?
Me: Same way as everyone else, I think. It's mental torture, mostly.
Ganesh: I know that, but I'm thinking about finding an apparatus small enough for him.
In the background, Tingle was...being Tingle.
Me: I say we change him back.
Ganesh: Now that I can do! *Spins staff over his shoulder and fires a grey bolt of magic*
Tingle: *is hit and reverts to "normal"* What did the fairy man do to Tingle?
Ganesh: *wondered why he didn't use a fire bolt*
Me: Who wants to do the honors?
Ganesh: Let's have Majora do it.
Majora: *evil grin* Yes, I've only done this once!
Me: Okay, go ahead. *watches the demoness drag Tingle away* I almost feel bad for the little creeper. Almost.
Two or so hours later...
Majora: *walks back in* That was boring, it only took half a hour before he started screaming, and eventually that got obnoxious.
Ganesh: You got bored of a sadistic activity! Now that is something new!
Majora: I'm not a masochist, and that little...thing has quite the set of lungs on it. *tugs on one pointy ear* Ouch.
Ganesh: I wonder if he'd feel better if he knew what bamboo torture was.
Me: Probably not.
Ganesh: Do you even know what it is?
Me: Yeah! Mythbusters proved it's an efficient means of torture.
Ganesh: They were testing Chinese water torture not bamboo torture.
Me: They tested both!
Ganesh: Hmm, I must have missed that one.
Me: It only works if done outdoors, though.
Truths
Fierce Diety/Oni/whatevertheheckyournameis: Are you aware that, in pretty much fic I've read involving you, you've been attracted to Link?
Navi/Tatl/King/Midna: It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Nah, just kidding, I never found you four annoying. Except for you, Kingy.
Em: What would you do if you had your own man-harem of Vaatis?
Romani: ...Your silence is all I needed.
Dares
Mikau: I meant that you were back from the dead. You've been a ghost this entire time. Haven't you noticed?
Ganondorf: Sorry about the card. Have some cake instead. Then Warlock Punch the person next to you. Nothing's canon in this thing, anyway.
Link: Push the person next to you into the fanboy/girl pit of DOOM! Preferably Ruto, I don't think I've done anything to her in a while.
Four Sword Link: So, you have enough Links drifting around the studio? Then why not make some more?
Vaati: Hug Em. All ten of you. Then hug MSF. What? I'm in a puppies-and-rainbows mood right now.
Tingle: Turn into a fairy, then back into whatever you are (Hylian, I think). Am I evil?
-TheBrick
Ganesh: *shaking head* Thank you very much for that rather perverted truth...Good Lord.
Oni: I am aware, I just don't see why anyone would think that.
Ganesh: By the way, the yaoi fanfare isn't just limited to , there's some on youtube as well, though it's in the form of drawings. I pretty sure that there's something on deviantArt too, but I haven't checked.
Me: That's where most of the pics come from.
Ganesh: *horrified face*
Everyone: *nods sagely*
Em: *glares at her feet*
Michael: What is it with glaring at your feet as if they're the ones you're ticked off at?
Em: It's hard to glare at a crowd when you're inside of it.
Michael: Easy problem to solve! *Explosion warps both himself and Em to outside of the crowd*
Em: *now looks uncomfortable* Okay...Can we go back?
Michael: *shrugs* Okay. *explosion warps them back*
Me: *looking at the list* This one's more of a statement than a truth.
Ganesh: Try rewording it next time, Brick.
Em: *stares her truth* What? Nothing! ...Why?
Michael: *looks over her shoulder, "WTF?" face* I'm currently resisting a very strong urge to make the guy who wrote this feel like he just went three quick rounds with Quinton "Rampage" Jackson on a day when said UFC fighter was ticked off at the world.
Me: *stares* Okay...Would not want to see that.
Ganesh: Trust me, you really don't want to.
Me: NEXT!
Romani: *is silent in her cute, innocent, 12-year old way*
Mikau: Well, yeah, I noticed.
Ganesh: How is that a dare?
Me: *shrug*
Ganesh: *watches Ganondorf look at his cake in a strange manner* There is something very ironic about this.
Ganondorf: How do you "Warlock Punch" anyone?
Majora: I think you just punch them really hard. Like this *socks Ganondorf in the stomach and walks away*
Ganondorf: *takes a feeble swing at the nearest person*
Postman: *dodges easily*
Ganesh: I would say that I didn't expect that, but this is a guy who treats mail as a life-or-death ordeal.
Me: In Hyrule, I bet it is. With all the monsters running around and everything.
Ganesh: Good point.
Link: *pushes Ruto*
The fangirl pit opened under Ruto's feet as she fell, then vanished as quickly as it'd come.
Michael: Hmm... Ah, good enough.
Link: Um... Is that a dare?
Michael: Wasn't that the whole point of doing it?
Vaati: Wait, what? Ten? Where?
Michael: Remember the man-harem truth?
Vaati: Well, yes, but I never...multiplied.
Michael: Looks like you're gonna have to. Though I don't think either of the recipients are as apprehensive about this one as you are.
Em: *bright red*
Me: *grinning like an idiot*
Michael: *looking at both of them* Yup, they're definitely looking forward to this.*smiles*
Vaati: *grimaces and casts a spell*
Ten Vaatis appeared, quickly hugged the two girls and vanished.
Michael: See? That wasn't so bad!
Em: I think it was unnecessarily...odd? *bows head* Sorry...
Vaati: *sigh* That's fine...
Michael: I have no comment. Although Sophie probably does...
Me: *tight smile* I'm trying not to squee, please don't distract me.
Michael: *evil grin, starts using Illusion magic to make it seem as though Linkin Park is performing live right now*
Me: Not fair! *bites lip*
Michael: *even more evil grin, switches it to one of the only Linkin Park songs that featured Evanescence, "Bring me to life"*
Me: Fine. *deep breath* SQUEEE! OMG! OMG! I JUST TOTALLY GOT A HUG FROM VAATI! OMG! *exhales* Happy?
Michael: Ecstatic. *small grin* But he isn't. *indicates Vaati, sighs* I love my job.
Majora: *whispers something to me*
Me: *smile* Sure.
Majora: *warps out, then back in, dragging Zelda behind her* Think fast! *shoves the Princess towards Michael*
Zelda: *trips and grabs onto Michael to keep her balance*
Michael: Ah, what- *notices it's Zelda* Oh...sorry...*awkward blush*
Zelda: No, it's my mistake. *also blushing almost indiscernibly*
Ganesh: *off to the side a bit* I probably should've seen this one coming. *smiles* Admittedly, though, Sophie, that was a novel idea.
Me: What, who me? *innocent smile* You think I'd...
Ganesh: Why not? But I'll probably have to reciprocate the favor some time soon.
Tingle: *is warped back to the studio* *Termnian-to-fairy-and-back* Yes, fairy-thing is very evil! Tingle hopes a brick falls on his head!
Me: *snort*
Em: u need 2 stage a pocky intervention for msf!
msf: see above.
oni: make out with majora for 2 hours then duel her!
majora: see above.
sheik: hows the whole twin thing goin with u and zelda?
ganon: i think we need 2 see some fierce deity ganondorf!
dampe: i make u young for a whole chapter.(enjoy!)
shadow link: screw being a shadow! become the opposite, light link!
hms: where did u get all ur magical masks?
ruto: u are no longer a zora, u are a kokiri.
link: u r stranded on a deserted island with no food, and only tingle for company.(have fun!)
-zeldagamer96
Ganesh: Hmm...Not really sure what to say about this one other than this not being a very novel idea for an anonymous username.
Em: I'm not sure if I want to get between the fangirl and her Pocky...
Me: *hugs Pocky box possessively* No punishment for skipping this one!
Oni: Um...make-out for two hours? *points at Majora*
Majora: With him? No way! *points at Oni*
Michael: There is something very wrong with this picture...
Me: *nod*
Ganesh: And yet something undeniably cute about it!
Me: *smiles and nods*
Majora: *pales* WHAT?
Ganesh: I probably shouldn't have said that...
Majora: Damn straight!
Me: You are not allowed to kill or seriously injure the co-author.
Ganesh: How many times have you said that now?
Me: I've lost count. She really doesn't like you.
Majora: *storms off muttering*
Ganesh: Well, Oni...Looks like we have something of a dilemma here... or something.
Oni: *nods* I really don't know what to do... Can I go back to the restaurant?
Me: Wouldn't that be a reward?
Ganesh: And simultaneous punishment for Majora! I love this plan!
Me: Fine. *warps Oni out*
Ganesh: *evil planning face* I just got the perfect idea for payback...one that involves a slight dose of love potion...
Me: Okay...you do that. Sheik?
Sheik: It's fine.
Ganesh: Michael, where did you put that Gerudo love potion?
Michael: Visual storage in your book.
Ganesh: Oh. *pulls out a small purple vial* What's Majora's favorite drink?
Me: Cactus juice. Or, cactus fruit juice, I guess.
Ganesh: Please tell me we have that in the fridge, cause I'm really not in the mood to go around chopping cacti.
Me: Third shelf on the door.
Ganesh: Thanks. *runs to the kitchen* Holy crap, I did not mean to walk in on that! *runs back out, rubbing his eyes*
Me: Oh right, Midna and Link...
Ganesh: Imagine walking in on two people alternating between eating ice cream and making out so passionately that you feel like a complete pervert for walking in on them in the first place.
Me: ...I'll brave it to see how much of my ice cream they've eaten. They've been in there a while. *walk into the kitchen.* 'Scuse me.
Ganesh: Might I add that the making out appeared to dominate most of the time they spent in there.
Pause...
Me: *comes back, carrying a glass bottle* Got the juice while I was in there.
Ganesh: Thanks! *takes the bottle, pours it into a glass, mixes in some of the purple liquid* Michael, you know the drill.
Michael: *walks to face the girl's dressing room*
The necromancer then produced a sheet of some sort of paper from his cloak. Whatever it was, it was an inhumane combination of adhesiveness and strength, as he stuck the glass to it, capped the glass, and threw it up a short distance before pulling out his crossbow and shooting the paper which then caught on half way down the bolt's shaft as it flew toward the open door and stuck itself to the wall inside the room.
Majora: *curiously inspecting the recently delivered glass of cactus juice*
Me: Let's make this a little more...even. *summons her own vial of the potion and adds it to a bottle of wine* I'll be right back. *warps out*
Back at wherever Oni was...
Me: *arguing with waiter* Just give him this bottle instead!
Waiter: I am very sorry, but you simply cannot go barging in demanding that we deliver this to him when it isn't even from our stock.
Me: ...I'm a writer, visiting one of her characters. You are going to give him this bottle, or I will personally delete your existence.
Michael: Why don't you just co-operate? We're not trying to kill the guy, though the same can't be said for you if you continue to be a nuisance. *flicks one wrist and watches as the nine-inch blade slides out*
Waiter: *pales* Oh dear...
Me: Oni can't die, anyway! C'mon! *pause* Wait, when did you get here, Michael?
Michael: *casually* Flew in, I was bored and Zelda went back to looking for those movies from the scavenger hunt dare.
Me: Got it. *turns around* Hey, where'd the waiter go?
Waiter: *in manager's office* I'm telling you, there are two crazy people in the lobby, maybe three!
Michael: Well, looks like that's my cue! I am outro! *explosion warps back to the studio*
Me: *sarcastic* Great. Wonderful. I love disguises. *transforms into Twili self, complete with waitress outfit, and delivers the bottle to Oni herself* Special order, sir. *puts it down and walks away*
Oni: *is wondering why there are Twili waitresses* *shrugs and pours himself a glass from the bottle*
Back to the studio...
Zelda: *still looking for the movies* Now where is that last movie?
Michael: *warps in* Right here! *holds out the last one*
Zelda: *smiles* Thank you!
Me: *warps in, still Twili* Where's Majora? Quick!
Michael: *looks slightly irked* Still in the dressing room.
Me: Right! *warps Majora to the restaurant* And so it begins...
Again at the restaurant...
Oni: *finishing off the wine*
Majora: *sits down next to him*
Oni: *looks sullen* Hello.
Majora: *smiles* Hey. *glances around* Wow, sorta like when we first met...
Oni: We first met in a bar that sold two varieties of milk as the only beverage sitting next to a lonely drunk.
Majora: *laughs nervously* And three cackling old witches who wouldn't shut up.
Oni: *smiles a little* Yeah...
Majora: *wider smile than before* I must say, those were the days...
Oni: *laughs* Personally, I might have enjoyed them a little more if you hadn't gotten me banned from that place.
Majora: *starting to sound slightly suggestive* Well, you started it.
Oni: *grins* I suppose so. *glances at her*
Majora: *notices* Yes?
Oni: You look nice tonight, that's all.
Majora: *blushes* Thanks, you look pretty good yourself.
Oni: *laughs* Me? I'm on my fifth bottle of wine, I know I've spilled some on my tunic, and I'll bet my hair's a mess.
Majora: *laughs along* What an odd thing for a guy like you to worry about!
Oni: *raised eyebrow* What? It's not like I'm the only one who worries about how they look...
Majora: *blushes a little* Yes, well, it pays off, doesn't it?
Oni: For me or you?
Majora: *grins* Both, silly!
Oni: *starts laughing again*
Majora: What? It's true!
Oni: *stops laughing abruptly* Yeah, that and a few other things. *leans in towards her*
Majora: *also leans in expectantly* Such as?
Oni: This. *kisses her lightly*
Majora: *is stunned for a moment, the returns it much more forcefully*
Back to the studio...
Me: Um...you've had Fierce Deku Ganondorf, is that enough?
Dampe: *is suddenly a kid* *looks just like that kid from the graveyard in Ocarina*
Shadow: ...This sounds familiar...
Me: That's because someone already created the character; Shining Link. (A/N: Go look at the pretty pictures~ lo-wah(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/art/Shining-Link-Contest-RESULTS-53591019) *transforms Shadow*
Shadow: *tugs on his now white tunic* Ah. That's why.
HMS: I travel the world, collecting magical and valuable masks!
Ruto: *is now a blue-haired, brown-eyed, scantly clothed Kokiri*
Link: No, please don't! *is warped out*
Hey! I just discovered this fic (I normally only search for complete stories) and I think it's awesome! Here are the dares:
Ganondorf: Fight the final battle in TP against Link, but you get a giant bazooka!(Seriously, why do people hate Ganondorf? He's awesome!)
Tingle: Fight a giant donut.
Midna: Let Zant be king for a day.
Majora: I think you're really cool, so here's a magic cookie that can be both eaten and used as a weapon.
Zant (after he's done being king): Go on national TV and jump up and down and laugh like in the Goron Mines section of the Zant fight.
Goron elders: Make a band and call it The Rocking Stones.
Vaati: Turn into a Minish then fight the Big Green ChuChu.
Truths:
Navi: Did Link ever do anything really disgusting on his journey?
Majora: Do you have a crush on anyone?
Ruto: Did you know in Twilight Princess, the sage that Ganondorf kills is the sage of water a.k.a. Ruto?
SuperMagicPastaMan, signing out!
Ganesh: SuperMagicPastaMan...I...I just have nothing to say...how odd...
Me: I think it's cool! Pasta all the way! *summons some and strikes a dramatic pose*
Ganondorf: *is warped to the island with Tingle and Link*
2min later...
Ganondorf/Link: *warped back*
Me: What happened?
Ganondorf: Ran out of ammunition trying to kill the little green thing with the balloon...
On the island...
A giant donut fell on Tingle's dead body.
Back to the studio...
Ganesh: *reads next dare, sweatdrop* Oh...crap...
Me: Um... Maybe we should warp forwards in time and work on fixing reality?
Ganesh: As much as I'd love to, I wanna see Michael's reaction to this...especially when Zant tries to address him by an abbreviated form of his name.
Me: ...As entertaining as that would be, I'm going to get out of the way. *warps out/forward*
Midna: *sighs, grimaces, and hands Zant the crown*
Zant: *starts bouncing up and down* Yeah! I'm king, I'm king!
Em: Oh dear...
Ganesh: This isn't going to be pretty...
Zant: *points at Michael* I am now your ruler! You must obey my every command! Okay, Mike?
Michael: *eye twitch* What did you call me?
Zant: *beams* Mike! Under me, everyone must have a nickname!
Midna: That makes no sense...
Zant: Shut up, Middy!
Midna: *looks very mad* What?
Michael: *is full-on pissed off* He is dead! NOBODY CALLS ME "MIKE"! *calms down* You know what they say about nicknames?
Zant: *tips head to the side* What?
Michael: They're a little cut off of the person's name, you catch my drift? *evil smile*
Midna: *cracks knuckles* I get a go at him when you're done, got it? So don't completely destroy him.
Michael: Okay. *reaches into his cloak and slowly pulls out a throwing knife so that everyone can hear it grinding against its sheath, pulls out a second one in the same manner* First up, DART BOARD! Midna, if you'd be so kind?
Midna: My pleasure. *summons giant dart board and ties Zant to it* *sets the Zant board on a stand and spins it*
Zant: *screaming* LET ME DOWN!
Midna: *smiles evilly* And why would the true heir to the throne do that?
Zant: *screaming like a little girl* Because I said so!
Midna: That is quite possibly the worst excuse you've ever given. *shoves a sock in Zant's mouth to shut him up* Michael? Go ahead. *gets out of the way*
Michael: OKAY? SHALL WE HAVE A CAST MEMBER CALL OUT THE FIRST THREE THINGS I SHOULD HIT ON THIS GUY?
Midna: Sure. *turns to the crowd* Anyone?
Everyone: *start shouting over each other*
Michael: *makes shushing gestures* Please, please, one at a time. What was that? Left hand, right bicep, left thigh? OKAY!
Suddenly, the enraged necromancer threw both knives straight up into the air, quickly pulled out his crossbow, shot a Dark bolt through Zant's left hand, and put it away just in time to catch the two throwing knives and launch them to graze the maniac's right bicep and left thigh in quick succession.
And the crowd went wild!
Zant: Mmph! Hmmm! MPK! (translation: Let! Me! DOWN!)
Midna: What was that? *elbows Zant in the stomach*
Zant: MMPH! (translation: OW!)
Midna: You'll have to speak clearer.
Zant: MMMMMMPPPPHHH! (translation: I SAID "OW" YOU STUPID B****)
Midna: *frowns* I think I understood that one. *slaps Zant across the face and steps back* Watch your tongue.
Zant: MMph, MMPH MMPH! (translation: Oh shut up you useless-)
Midna: *punches him* I said watch it.
Zant: *spits out the sock to say something, but ends up vomiting all over Midna*
Midna: *disgusted and furious* You...you... *goes for his throat*
Em: *grabs Midna and pulls her back* Careful, Princess! You could get in really big trouble!
There was a whooshing sound, and a loud roar made everyone look to where Michael had been standing. In his place was an eight foot tall demon whose body was engulfed in white, sheeting flames. Aside from the giant, bat-like wings, one of the demon's arms shone with a piercing white light, while the other burned with a hungry black inferno.
Zant: *eyes practically pop out of his head* Wha...WHAT IS THAT?
Michael(Claimh Solais-Kaladbolg amalgamation): I seem to remember you calling me...was it Mike? *flexes one terrifyingly muscular arm casually*
Zant: *relaxes* Oh, it's you.
Midna: *glares at Zant*
Em: Come on, Your Highness, he's dead. Let's get you cleaned up. *manages to get Midna away from Zant*
Michael: *watches them leave* Oh, look, the only hope for me stopping has just left the room...too bad you had to throw up on her, eh? *grins despite the demonic face he has*
Zant: *smiles nervously* Uh... *is turned upside-down by a random person bumping into, or maybe shoving, the stand*
Michael: *does the non-Jedi equivalent of force-palming Zant in the mid-section with one clawed hand while the other readies a bolt*
Zant: *starts struggling again* I DUN WANNA DIE UPSIDE-DOWN!
Michael: Good point. *turns the stand into match-wood with the Darkness bolt he'd prepped*
Zant: *is half-buried under the wood* GAH! *starts trying to dig himself out*
Midna: *returns, completely cleaned of vomit and in a far better looking outfit* *suggestively* Hello, Zant.
Zant: GET ME OUT!
Midna: *smiles* Okay. *grabs him with her hair hand and pulls him out before slamming him back on the floor*
Zant: *cracks his head against the floor* Ooh...stars...
Michael(still a demon): May I?
Midna: *kicks Zant in the head and steps back* Now you can.
Zant: *still dazed* NO! You can't do this to me! I'm your king!
Midna: *smiles* It's called rebellion. Happens all the time.
Michael(still a demon): And for another thing, nobody, and I mean nobody, owns me or orders me around unless I want them too. Guess which side of that line you stand on, fish-head?
Zant: *hopefully* The side that you want to be ordered around by?
Michael: Wrong answer. *takes a few steps back and punts Zant across the room and through the door into the girls' dressing room*
Em: Oh dear. And Majora just went in there...
Screams could be heard from within the dressing room. Whose it was impossible to tell, but painfully easy to guess.
Zant: *literally flies out of the dressing room thanks to Majora's last attack and slides painfully to a halt near Em* Owwww...Help...Emmy...
Em: *glares at him* Don't call me that. *zaps him unconscious*
Everyone: *looks at Zant*
Pause...
The crowd surged forwards, quickly engulfing the "king."
Next day...
Me: *pops in, sees people sitting around poking Zant's body with sticks* ...Not as much damage as I thought.
Ganesh: *also pops in, yawns* What'd I miss?
Michael (back to normal now): The most fun I've had in a very long time. *grins*
Majora/Oni: *pop in and look around*
Majora: Damn, looks like we missed a good time.
Me: Where've you two been?
Oni: In and out. *shifty eyes* Mostly out.
Me: Okay... What's next? *looks at the list*
Majora: *receives her cookie* *evil grin*
Zant: *is dead*
Ganesh: Ah, what the heck, let's revive him. *looks around* There really isn't much to clean up...hmmm.
Me: Let's not destroy the studio just because we can. *revives Zant and shoves him into a broadcasting room*
Announcer: So, how does it feel to finally be king of the Twilight Realm?
Zant: *has found coffee* *intelligible speed-talking* *bouncing in seat*
Ganesh: *watching from the safety of a room with a TV in it* Oh crap...this isn't gonna end well...
Me: ...Should we kill him again?
Ganesh: Maybe, but I just got a rather unique plan of how to go about it, in the case that we do come to it.
Me: *watching the hyper Twili nervously* Okay... Maybe I'll just warp the room to a safe distance away... *thinks about it* ...Yeah, let's save your plan for later. *warps the room*
Ganesh: *shaking his head* This isn't one of my uber-destructive plans, just my 'Dang, you almost feel sorry for the guy'-kind. If all goes well, anyway...
Me: Still, we've had a lot of Zant torture the last few pages. Let's save some for later.
Ganesh: ...True...okay, for later then.
Back at the announcing booth...
Announcer: Hello, your Highness? Are you listening to me? HELLO? *dives under desk as Zant starts to, literally, bounce off the walls* Crap...Security!
Michael: *walks in* Ye-*stares at the situation with a look of horror* ...oh...crap...um...TASTE DARKNESS! *throws multiple bolts of said element at the crazy temporary king*
Zant: *collapses, twitching, on the floor* Ow...coffee...
Michael: *walks out muttering* Mental note: Dark bolts and caffeine never mix well...
Back to the studio...
Me: *arguing with the Goron Elders* C'mon! It's just for one measly chapter!
Gor Ebizo (aka the elder who looks older than God): NO! We'll have nothing to do with your new-age, new-fangled 'rock 'n' roll'!
Gor Liggs: I agree with my elderly colleague, this simply goes against our peaceful life...well...peaceful if you consider the fact that we live in a volcano/mine.
Gor Amoto: I would also agree with them, this is simply not becoming of a Goron of my stature.
Me: *grumbling* Why did it have to be the only characters for whom the fan-pit holds no terror? *sigh* Fine, we'll skip it.
Ganesh: *looks at the next dare*...umm...I really don't know what to say about this one...Though it might not be safe to transform into a Minish while in the presence of the, quote unquote, fangirl author.
Me: I'm recovering! ...Not that this story is helping, but I am!
Ganesh: Yeah...sure...Vaati, let's just get it over with already.
Vaati: *pales despite his near-albino skin* *turns into a Minish* Well, where's the Chu monster?
Chu: *crawls across the floor toward him*
Michael: *looks at the tiny minish Vaati* I don't know why, but I so wanna try doing that.
Vaati: *uses wind to blow the Chu to little pieces* *changes back in a hurry* Done.
Ganesh: Well...that was easy...I was somehow expecting something more...dramatic...
Me: I'm a little disappointed too...
Em: You just like his Minish form, don't you?
Me: He's so cuuute~
Michael: Well, the author isn't, by any means, the only one who likes Vaati's Minish form, and I'm not talking about Fuu.
Em: *blush* Shut up!
Michael: *looks at Em* ...Now I feel stupid for trying anti-shyness therapy, all I need to do was make the same kind of humor that I used while in the company of Link and Midna.
Me: *looks at list* What's next?
Navi: Well...huh...Oh, I remember! Back at the Gerudo fort, Link had just found out that shooting the Gerudo's with arrows would net some rupees and stun them. Well...he tried it once, and somehow his aim went slightly downward and to the side...And if you know how skimpy those Gerudo "uniforms" are...
Link: Hey! Not my fault I got distracted!
Majora: *laughing until she sees her Truth* Oh...um...
Me: I think we've made that very clear.
Majora: Um...well...actually...there was this one deity I kinda liked back in the Chaos Realm.
Michael: Oh god, not some other story about the Chaos realm, I've had way too much firsthand experience with them.
Majora: *scowls* Fine, I'll shut up.
Michael: Please do, as much as I like them, they can be kinda creepy at times.
Ruto: *still Kokiri* *reads her Truth* Um...No, I didn't...
Michael: AHHHH! Where did you pop up from!
Ruto: *tries to look cute* I was right here the whole time.
Michael: AHHHH! Why is everyone doing that to me...and aren't you supposed to be infatuated with Link?
Ruto: *sad* Of course, but he's hiding.
Michael: *demonic smile, thinking:* I just got a great idea... *speaking:* No he isn't, he's right there. *creates Illusion of Link standing a slight distance away in Zora armor*
Ruto: *starry eyes* Yay! *tries to glomp the illusion* *falls flat on her face* Ow...
Michael: *uncontrollably laughing while rolling on the floor* AHAHAHAHAHA! That...That was...great!...best ...faceplant...ever! AHAHAHAHA! I love my job!
yay! another review by me and my friend! (and make it good. they're always a little lame.)
Linebeck/Ciela: hmmmmmmmmmm... *taps foot trying to come up with a good one* I'll come back to you.
Link:...I'll come back to you as well.
Ganondorf: You didn't answer my question! If you wanted to remake the world but never put any effort into it, then why did you want to remake it in the first place?
Ciela:again fight with Navi but this time you will both be human.
Msfcatlover: why have you made my dares/truths somewhat lame?
Ciela(again): you now a sadist like Majora. TORTURE LINEBECK!
Link: why were you not mad at Linebeck for him kissing Tetra?
Jolene: why do you have a person who looks exactly like you in ST?
Linebeck the 3rd/Jolene the3rd(or game person?): Are you related?
Linebeck the 3rd: Who was your Grandma?(Please be Ciela,Please be Ciela)
you're lucky Linebeck: I wasn't able to come up with any dares for you! but I came up with a truth! Why did you look at Ciela so sad at the end of the game? (admit it, you do like her!)
well that's it.
~Linebecky29.
Ganesh: Well, then...nice idea for the name...unoriginal and cliched, but still...nice...
Ganondorf: *eyetwitch* If I could get the Triforce, I could just fix all the damage. Therefore, there was no point in me going through the effort to work on it at the time.
Ganesh: *reads next dare* Oh...damn...not this again...remember what happened last time?
Me: Apparently it was not satisfactory.
Ciela: NO! I am not going through that again! *is turned into a human*
Navi: What! N- *is also turned into a human*
Me: *gives them both clothes*
Ganesh: Sickos, every last pervert who enjoys this is hearing it from me! Is there any harm in skipping this one?
Me: I normally skip repeat Dares.
Ganesh: Oh, hoorah! *fires twins bolts of gray magic that restore the fairies to normal*
For whatever reason, there was a collective groan throughout the studio, though sparse in voices, loud in its complaining tone.
Ganesh: Excuse me?
Me: Ignore them.
Ganesh: Next one's yours.
Me: *sigh* I was probably tired at the time I wrote out those responses.
Ganesh: Hey! Don't hate on other writers before you try doing what they do!
Me: *smiles* Thanks.
Ganesh: No problem. *reads next dare* Oh...great...more torture... *sigh, pulls out a potion* Here, take it if you want.
Ciela: What's that for?
Ganesh: Reversing the required personality change as soon as possible. We don't need two Majoras running around here.
Ciela: Oh. *quickly takes and drinks the potion*
Ganesh: Good, now that potion binds to certain receptors in the brain, it'll activate after you come off the inadvertant adrenaline rush you'll get from torturing Linebeck. Long story short, when you're done, so is the sadist side of you.
Ciela/Linebeck: *warped to the backroom*
Soon after, loud screams started to issue from the room, each one preceded by some sort of cracking sound, likely that of a whip.
Me: *rubs ears and makes the backroom soundproof* There we go. Next...
Link: It was just a Dare...
Tetra: And it doesn't really change anything between us...does it?
Link: Of course not!
Me: They're so cute...
Ganesh: Agreed.
Jolene: *shrug* Why does Linebeck? Why does Link? Who knows, who cares.
Ganesh: Well, they have plausible reasons, both being descendants of their Phantom Hourglass counterparts.
Jolene: *shrugs again* Fine. Sure. Let's go with that.
Ganesh: Wait, the person who looks like you could be a descendant? I've never played either game, so I wouldn't really know.
Jolene: I didn't say she was descended from me. She could be my little sister's grandaughter, or something.
Ganesh: ...okay then...um...moving on now...
Linebeck the 3rd: Not that I know of...
Ganesh: Though it would be understandable if you were, being the third of that bloodline with that name.
Linebeck the 3rd: *small sigh* I suppose.
Ganesh: But anyway, onto your next question.
Linebeck the 3rd: Grandma died before I was born and my Grandfather didn't like to talk about her, believe it or not.
Ganesh: ...okay then.
Linebeck (the 1st): We're all friends. Wouldn't you be sad about saying good-bye to two good friends?
Ganesh: I understand, but you know what they mean by that question.
Linebeck: *sigh* If there's anything between Ciela and me, it's from farther along in time than I was plucked from.
Ganesh: "plucked from"?
Me: *sweatdrop* I yanked them all out from right after the ends of their games.
Ganesh: *raised eyebrow* Oh...hmm...
Navi: Getting revenge because some one did something bad Is not a bad thing It's payback (So long as you don't Kill them) so you can get back at Tatl for being a jerk to Link and it just means your a good friend not a mean person
GDT: Why can't the Kokiri leave the forest? I dare you to use your magic to allow them to
Zant: Get Raped by a Redead
I get rid of the fairy bottleing Taboo In Kokiri forest (But only if they deserve it like trying to embarrass their Kokiri partners or causeing a lot of trouble not just for the fun of it)
Spryte (What I call Saria's fairy): Have you ever tried to humiliate Saria to no end?
Sophie: hear I a chalupa
Ganondorf: Here is a cookie from my fanfiction (Sophie I'm sure you know what happens after he eats it XD)
Nabooru: You are now the Leader of the Gerudos
Ruto: You are now married to Mikau and fused with Lulu
Raruu: why didn't you just use magic to age Link 7 years instead of freezing him in time for 7 years and alowwing Ganongorf to gain power!For this Link is the new light sage
Kokiri Link: Bottle Navi Then hear how she felt about it
Saria: Same as above with Spryte
all Kokiri: Party In Studio (everyone else can join in if they want)
-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri
Ganesh: Ahh, Kozan, nothing like a repeat reviewer with fresh dares...
Navi: Didn't I already say that I am not a vengeful kind of person...What is it with these reviewers wanting me to attack Tatl?
Me: If the fight were unfair, then it would qualify as "funny." If it were perfectly balanced, then it would be "action." I think that's what they're after.
Michael: *grin* Hey Navi, do you mind if I show you Valmanway?
Navi: *puzzled* Um...I don't think so, why?
Michael: *pulls out the softly glowing sky-blue sword* Watch.
The necromancer held the blade in front of him, facing Tatl, and moved it down rapidly, with the pommel with a sizable emerald set in it first. Suddenly, Tatl dropped in her altitude rapidly.
Tatl: Hey!
Me: *giggle* That never gets old...
Michael: I think that's the first time I've done it here...*swings it down again*
Tatl: *drops* Stop it! Not fair!
Michael: So? Didn't you just hear the author's discourse about fair and unfair fights? *hands the blade to Navi* Here, you try.(Co-A/N: In case you're wondering how she can lift it, Ciela can swing the Hammer from Phantom Hourglass, so there!)
Navi: Okay... *swings it down*
Tatl: *drops* That's it! *lands, and walks away with what little dignity she has left*
Michael: Not quite, can I have the sword back?
Navi: Sure. *gives it back*
Michael: *makes a small dome out of the Illusion blades over Tatl*
Tatl: *looks up* ...I hate you.
Michael: Hey, I'm just trying to act as Karma here, you did act like a real jerk to him in the beginning...*removes the dome and sheathes Valmanway*
Tatl: Hmmph! *goes back to strutting off in what would have been a stately fashion, if she weren't so small*
Michael: Eh, hopefully she'll get over it, cause I've got no idea how to get her back in a good mood...
Me: Next one.
GDT: Well, they can leave the forest, but by doing so they sacrifice their immortality and so are no longer Kokiri. My magic only reaches as far as the forest's edge, after all.
Ganesh: I see a problem with that. You die after Link kills Gohma, but the Kokiri don't age seven years in your absence.
GDT: Though my son, the Deku Sprout hadn't grown very large, his very presence kept my magic alive.
Ganesh: ...technicalities? Maybe...I don't know... *reads the next dare* ...How...tasteless...
Me: I so don't want to see that. *shudder* ReDeads...
Michael: *sigh* Fine, I'll do it...*notices some people staring at him* What? I'm a necromancer. *makes a ReDead, points at Zant* Go get him...
ReDead: Muuuuuuon! *jumps on Zant*
Zant: *starts flailing around like crazy* AHHHH, get off me! Get off!
Me: *puffs out really fast*
ReDead: *starts sucking the life out of him*
Zant: *struggles for a few minutes, collapses, dies*
Michael: Let's never do that again.
Zelda: Agreed.
ReDead: More! *starts walking towards Zelda*
Michael: How can you be more dead? *decapitates it with Laevateinn*
Saria: A taboo isn't really like a law, it's just something that's frowned on...
Me: No thanks, I'm not a huge fan of Mexican food. ...Or is it Spanish? *goes to double-check*
Ganondorf: *looks at cookie suspiciously* Hmm... *eats it* (A/N: ...I don't think you've written a scene for that yet, Kozan... *sweatdrop*)
Nabooru: *slightly angry* I would've been leader of the Gerudos if he *points at Ganondorf* hadn't been born a male! You know how it goes, a man is born in the Gerudo tribe every century and he automatically becomes king.
Rauru: If I had merely aged Link seven years, without letting time run its natural course, there would've been a chance of some random and quite fatal anomaly occuring, such as a time paradox or an actual splitting of time itself. And besides, if I hadn't, then how would Zelda be able to send him back seven years to relive his childhood without causing another paradox!
Link: So! I lost seven years of my childhood! I know Zelda sent me back in time to relive it, but I kept with me all the memories of my adventure. I still remembered everything. How could I truly enjoy the innocence of childhood with the mind of an adult! *is suddenly wearing a robe identical to Rauru's* ...Man, these robes are stuffy, how do you wear these all the time?
That was as far as we got, sadly, before every computer I had access to up and decded it hated Gmail and GoogleDocs, so I couldn't get back. I'd like to appologize to Ganesh for not showing up for so long before this, I was trying to fix the computer. I'm very, very sorry.