9. Running and Searching

April 2010

Canadian Wilderness

Amelia

I didn't know where I was or how I'd got here. I didn't care. I just ran. Ran away from innocent brown eyes and concerned gold ones. Ran away from the monster I'd clearly become. The monster that would attack an innocent little girl without a second thought. That would attack someone who was dearly beloved by those who had saved her, taken her in, and accepted her.

I had thought I wasn't a vampire, or at least that I was less of a vampire then the others, but clearly I was wrong. I was more of a vampire than them; no one else had tried to kill an innocent child. It didn't matter to me that I was what they called a newborn - what sort of excuse is that? 'Oh I'm so sorry, Bella and Edward. I killed your daughter because I'm not yet use to not killing people.' I had not been killing people for eighteen years. The Amelia I used to be wasn't a murderer, she would never even have considered it. The monster I was now would do it without a seconds hesitation.

I stopped suddenly. I didn't want to run anymore, every step could be taking me closer to a town or city, closer to people whose lives I would want to take without a second thought. What do I do now? Where can I go?

I don't know why I had been running anyway - I had nowhere to run to. No home to return to.

I was across an ocean from my real home in Britain and could never return. I would never sit in that pink bedroom again and be able to do something as normal as sitting in my big pink computer chair and Facebooking my friends. Nor would I ever sit at my desk doing coursework again. Or curl up in my warm bed to watch a DVD or read. It all seemed so simple now. My biggest worry had been what to wear to the upcoming party or if my coursework would be done on time. I wonder if my parents would change that room or leave it as it was in the hope I'd return.

As for that big white house in Oregon, I couldn't return there either. Not after what I'd done. They wouldn't want me; I didn't understand why they had to begin with. Why would anyone want me around? My own friends hadn't wanted me around enough to not push me down a flight of stairs and leave me to die.

I collapsed onto the forest floor and cried desperate sobs. I had nowhere to go. I couldn't go back to being Amelia Hunter anymore than a dead person can come back to life. Or maybe that is the same thing, I thought bitterly. Amelia Hunter had been a living, breathing human with a life ahead of her; all I was now was her corpse. A walking, talking corpse, yes, but still a corpse. A blood sucking, would-be-murderer of a corpse, at that. And almost inevitably a murdering corpse someday. I couldn't avoid humans forever, but I could try. I could try to stick to the forests and wilderness, and animals. This is what I'd become – a vampire with no home, no family, and no foreseeable future. In other words – no hope.

Harry

Carlisle, Alice, and me had followed Amelia's haphazard trail for days, crossing the Canadian border last night. We had no choice but to follow her as she fled the house, we couldn't just let her leave with no guidance. As far as Carlisle was concerned, she was still his responsibility; he was the one who had created her. If she really didn't want to stay with us then she needed to know more about the way of nomads. I really couldn't imagine her leaving that way. I had lived as a nomad for over a century and it was not a pleasant life. Definitely not the sort of life I would wish upon someone like Amelia. I wanted to convince her to return, the idea that she never would cut through me like a knife.

Her newborn speed had given her the ability to stay ahead of us, as did the fact that she had not yet decided where she going. According to Alice it appeared she was just running without a purpose.

"She's stopped running. She's collapsed on the floor crying. We should find her in ten minutes," Alice informed us. She had been surprisingly keen to help, and of course her visions were invaluable in our search. With renewed purpose we followed her trail.

Just as Alice predicted, ten minutes later we found her. Her scent washed over me. It was like the sweetest of candies to a child, the ripest of whiskies to an alcoholic, the finest heroin to an addict.

She was lying on the forest floor, her head in her arms, crying loudly. Her wild brunette curls covered her face, they had leaves and twigs stuck in them, and her dress was mud-streaked and frayed in places.

She looked up at the sound of our arrival. Her burgundy eyes were sad and I could see the tracks her venom tears had left as they criss-crossed down her face.

"What are you doing here?" she asked surprised. Her minor personalities weren't flying around her as usual; actually there was no other scent to her except her main one. It was like she had been numbed.

"We came to find you," Carlisle replied.

"Why?"

Alice sighed at her question before answering. "How many times do I have to tell you we don't want you to leave?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Because you're a part of our family."

"No, I'm not."

"Oh, stop being so stubborn. Yes you are."

"Alice," Carlisle warned her gently. "Though she's right, Amelia, as long as you want to be a part of our family then you are."

"But I … How can I return after …"

"I won't lie to you Amelia, it takes years, decades even, to master self control. But if you want to then you can. And you have to try," Carlisle told Amelia, and she nodded.

"I want to go back, but I don't think I can."

"Why not?" Carlisle asked.

"You were in the room when I tried to kill your granddaughter, right?" she asked sarcastically.

"If you wish to come back with us you're welcome to, but you will have to work on control. You will have to fight that bloodlust around Nessie."

"Yeah, you're coming back!" Alice shouted victoriously, clearly Amelia had made her decision. "Come on, Carlisle, we'll go tell the others, these two can follow." She was grinning now, though I had no idea why or what she up to. Her scent had become overwhelmingly optimistic. What is she planning?

She skipped over to me and whispered, "Talk to her," in my ear, before skipping away again.

"Come on, Carlisle."

Carlisle looked curiously at her and then back at the two of us, but before he could ask any questions Alice grabbed his wrist and pulled him away. The two of them disappeared.

"We should get going," I said to Amelia, offering her my hand to help her up, not that she needed it. She grabbed hold of it and pulled before I could, sending me flying onto the floor next to her.

"Oops. Sorry." I'm fairly certain if she still could have she would have blushed. "I don't get it. I tried to kill that innocent girl, why are you all acting so nice to me? I'm a terrible person," she wailed.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're the nicest person I've ever met?" I whispered fervently to her.

"Hmph. Well I think your spidey-senses are acting up," she replied grumpily, crossing her arms. Her reply made no sense to me.

"My … my what now?" I asked.

"Your," she threw her arms up in despair, "it doesn't matter." She turned away from me.

"O…K." I shook my head in confusion, but remembered we had much more important matters to discuss. "Listen to me, Amelia." I gently held her face and turned it towards me. "You are the nicest person I've ever met." I concentrated on her scent again - it intoxicated me as usual. Then I stared at her tear strained beautiful face. I wanted to show her I meant it. That, far from being a terrible person, she was special. That she was by far the most amazing person I'd ever met. And then, without thinking about it, I kissed her. Our lips met only briefly, but it was the most wonderful sensation I had felt in a hundred and fifty years of immortality. We broke apart and she stared at me, her eyes showing surprise.

It was in that moment I faced the realisation I'd been staring down for the last two months. I love her.

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