10. Meet Your Fellow Freaks

April 2010

Canadian Wilderness

Amelia

I stared at Harry in shock. Did he … did he just kiss me? For a few long seconds neither of us said anything.

"Why … why did you do that?" I finally managed to ask, still in shock.

He stammered, "I … I … I lo ….I'm sorry,"

"No, no don't be. Do, do it again."

"What?" Instead of answering, I kissed him again. I needed to know he had meant something by it. That, far from not wanting me around, he wanted to kiss me. This was the man who had deemed me worth saving when I had been left to die. I needed to know he still felt that way; that, despite what I'd done, he could still see me as worth saving, worth kissing. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him more passionately. Harry responded with equal vigour, much to my delight.

"I," he looked down and shook his head slightly. When he looked back up he had determination shining in his eyes. "I love you." The words were like a balm to my soul. Not only did he want me around, he loved me. Me, the girl whose life had been worth so little it had been thrown away for the amusement of bored drunks. Someone loved me. Not just someone. Harry. Harry Leone Cullen. There were no words to describe Harry to me in that moment – everything he was, everything he'd done for me, it went beyond words.

"I love you too." The words fall out of my mouth unbidden, but it just felt right to say them.

"Let's go home, Amelia." Home. The place I'd run away from. Somewhat reluctantly, I began following him as he headed in, what I could only assume was, the direction of Oregon – I didn't even know where I was at this point.

I froze in front of the door. "I can't. I can't go in there."

"It's okay, Amelia. I'll be right here." He squeezed my hand affectionately, and together we walked through the door.

"Finally," Alice and Jasper said simultaneously - they were waiting for us by the doorway.

Harry laughed. "I take it you know?"

"Of course," Alice replied smugly.

The scent of wet dog washed over me, causing me to nearly gag.

"That is disgusting," I stated. However, I was thankful it was the wolves I could smell, and not the tempting scent of Renesmee.

"You don't smell so nice yourself," a youthful voice told me cheerily. I looked up to find Jacob, Seth, and Leah standing in the hallway. Jacob was glaring at me and Leah was scowling. Seth didn't seem angry though; it was probably him who had said the earlier comment.

"I'm sorry," I said, mainly in Jacob's direction.

"So you should be," he growled. I felt Harry wrap his arm around me protectively.

"Oh great, more vampire love," Leah said sarcastically.

"I … I want to go apologize to Renesmee," I said.

"Over my dead body," Jacob said.

Just then the same cloying scent from before washed over me. I instantly stopped breathing, though I knew if I were going to speak to her, I would have to breathe eventually. Cautiously, I took a small breath. The back of my throat burned, but I knew I had to fight it.

"You can do this, Amelia," Harry whispered in my ear. I can do this. I can do this.

"I want to speak to her," I insisted. The act of speaking caused venom to pool into my mouth. I concentrated on the different part of her scent, the part that smelled like roses. The vampire side, I suddenly realized.

Impulsively, I followed the scent. However, I was still in my proper mind, following for the purpose of apologizing, not to kill. I felt three pairs of stone hands pull me back, as the three people in front of me began to shake.

"I just want to apologize. Nothing will happen, right, Alice?" I turned to the small psychic vampire, hoping she would be able to back my argument, and needing reassurance myself.

"I don't know. I can't 'see' the wolves or Ness, remember? I don't see Bella or Edward grieving in the near future though."

"I need to put this right, please," I begged. The surrounding wolves and vampires all shared a significant look, before encircling me. Harry still held my hand from his place in the circle.

"Let's go, leech," Jacob ordered. Our strange ensemble walked toward the living room. This close up the stench of wolf was so strong I could barely smell anything else, for which I was thankful.

As we stopped in the middle of the room, I felt all eyes on us. The rest of the Cullen family were all here. Renesmee's scent mixed in with that of the wolves, making it much less potent.

I looked over Jacob's shoulder at the young girl sitting between her parents.

"I'm sorry, Renesmee," I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. The words seemed somewhat empty in light of all I'd done.

"It's OK. It wasn't your fault." Renesmee sounded very mature as she spoke the words. Some of her scent drifted over and my throat burned more. I decided I had pushed my limit enough for today.

"I'm going to go get a drink. Hey, I can actually say 'does anyone else want one' now, without being looked at like I'm stupid. So, does anyone else want one?"

"What?" all three wolves asked.

"Does anyone else want one?" I repeated. They looked quizzically at each other.

"Erm…no, thanks," Seth finally replied.

"Okay." I headed towards the kitchen; our interlocked hands meant Harry was still with me.

"Well, that went alright," I said conversationally.

"You did brilliantly," Harry whispered, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. "This is slightly weird, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, but slightly weird is good," I replied. I pulled him close to me and kissed him again.

We pulled apart suddenly when a voice went "oh!" behind us. We turned around to find a very confused Esme.

"Sorry," she said with a smile. "I came to show Amelia something." She opened the cupboard and got something out of it. "I bought some chocolate milkshake. You said you missed chocolate."

"Thanks, Esme," I said as I hugged her. It was heart warming to me that someone would go to that much effort for me.

I heard Emmett's booming laugh coming from the living room.

"That's right, Amelia Cullen, the world's freakiest vampire," he said to someone.

"Amelia Cullen?" I murmured.

"You're a part of this family now," Esme said. "And we love you. Well, I'll leave you two alone now."

I jumped on to the counter and began drinking the milkshake Esme had gotten out of the fridge. Harry jumped up next to me.

"We have chairs, you know?" he told me. I shrugged. He wrapped his arm around my waist.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently. I shrugged again. "Amelia," he said beseechingly.

"It's just a lot to take in," I replied, unable to find the words for everything that bothered me.

"Amelia?" I looked up to find Leah stood in the doorway. "Do you mind?" she asked Harry. He looked at her quizzically, before jumping down off the counter.

"I think Leah wants to talk to you," he said. "I'll be back soon," he promised, giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek before leaving.

"Hi," I said uncertainly. Leah pulled out one of the chairs and sat down.

"I know this may seem a little strange, but your … family was just telling me that you're, well, a-"

"Freak?" I supplied for her.

"That's one way of putting it. Did you know there are no other female werewolves?"

I shook my head. "That must suck."

She snorted sarcastically. "That's one way of putting it. I'm a freak too."

"Me too," a voice I recognised as Renesmee's chimed in. She stood in the doorway with her parents. I took another swig of the milkshake as her scent washed over me, concentrating on the chocolate taste rather than delicious temptation. I never thought I'd find something I'd prefer to chocolate, but we have a winner.

"So what? Are we starting a club or something?" I asked sarcastically.

"It's not nice to feel alone, like the only one," Leah said. I realized she was trying to help me.

"Thank you," I said sincerely. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to you?"

She snorted. "That's a different story, for a different day." Then she stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

I took another gulp of chocolate milkshake as my throat continued to burn from Renesmee's continued presence. Her brown eyes focused on the bottle in my hand.

"Can you eat food too?" she asked, intrigued. "I can eat food, but I don't like it very much. Except pancakes. Pancakes are my favorite," she said solemnly. "Can I have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, Daddy?"

"Maybe. Come on princess, do you want to play piano with Daddy again?" She squealed with delight and followed her father out of the room.

Thanks Edward, I thought after him. He had no doubt picked up on the panic in my mind that stemmed from being so close to Renesmee. Or maybe he was just protecting his daughter from me. Either way, I was thankful.

"How are you?" Bella asked.

"Been better. Been worse," I replied nonchalantly. "Do you think Renesmee would like it if I made her pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, as a way of making it up to her? I know making breakfast doesn't exactly even out trying to kill someone but-"

"I'm sure she'd love that," Bella said with a smile, cutting across my rambling.

I hopped off the counter and followed Bella into the room where the rest of the family were sitting. I went and sat down next to Harry, and his arm curled around my waist. Bella sat down next to Edward and I smiled when I noticed his arm do exactly the same.

We actually had a fun evening. I spent most of the night playing games on the X-Box and Wii with everyone but Jacob, Renesmee, Carlisle, and Esme, who were all upstairs. I beat Emmett twenty times at the 'retarded knitted cow game'. I watched on as the other Cullen siblings got into a battle of the bands on Guitar Hero. Alice kept complaining because she couldn't see who would win. Even Rosalie, who admittedly spent most of the evening watching on, stony faced, cracked a smile when Emmett pretended to do a guitar solo on his controller. Overall, it was a great evening. I actually felt normal – being silly and joking around with these people. It didn't feel like I was a freak, like this was a room full of vampires and wolves. It just felt like a bunch of friends, having a good time. I remembered what Leah had said about not feeling alone and for the moment, I didn't.

By morning it was just Harry and I left in the living room. We had spent the last couple of hours sitting together in each other's arms, talking about silly things. Above us I heard the sounds of Renesmee and the wolves getting up.

"Time to make some pancakes," I told Harry.

"You need any help?"

"Depends – when was the last time you actually cooked something?"

Harry pretended to think for a few seconds. "OK, good point."

"I'll be fine, go beat Emmett and Jasper at … whatever stupid war game it is you play."

"I don't play the war games. They're not as much fun when you've actually seen the wars with your own eyes," he said sadly.

I looked at him quizzically. "Aren't those games set in, like, the World Wars?" Harry raised his eyebrows at me. "Oh!" I said as the penny dropped. "You saw both … you're going to explain that to me as soon as I've finished making pancakes."

I waltzed around the kitchen happily. First making the mixture in a large jug, then pouring each pancake out into four pans which all had their own ring on the hob. I would have the first batch finished by the time they got downstairs, and I could make the second while they ate.

"What are you doing in here, leech? Don't tell me you eat too?" Jacob said rudely as he walked into the kitchen.

Renesmee skipped in to the room. The familiar scent of her blood washed over me. I grabbed the drink I had placed on the counter for this purpose and gulped. Though the cool liquid came nowhere to near erasing the burn, it made it tolerable. "Hi, Auntie Amelia. What are you doing?" Renesmee asked. That took me by surprise. I'm struggling to not to kill her and she's calling me 'Auntie.' A surge of affection for the sweet little child rushed through me.

Ignoring Jacob, I addressed Renesmee. "Making pancakes."

"You know, I usually do that for her," Jacob stated, walking over to take my place in front of the oven.

"Well, you can sit down and relax. They're nearly ready anyway."

He looked critically at the pancakes on the hob. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Making pancakes. What does it look like?" I said defensively.

"It looks like you're doing wrong," he said as he tried to push his way in front of the oven.

"You know, I'm trying to be nice, would it kill you to do the same?" I snapped. I was trying to make amends and he was being a pain in the arse about it.

"Not my fault you're doing it wrong," he muttered darkly, but I heard him loud and clear, and I suspect everyone else did too.

"Jacob, stop being mean to Amelia. She's trying to be nice," Renesmee spoke up, managing to sound more like an adult than either Jacob or me. "Come sit with me, Jakey." Still grumbling under his breath, Jacob went and sat next to her.

At least he listens to the three-year-old. Or twelve-year-old. Or whatever.

"Something smells nice," Seth announced cheerily as he and his sister walked in. They both went and sat at the table. Leah attempted a smile in my direction but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Pancakes are ready," I declared. I grabbed four plates out of the cupboard and put a pancake on each. I placed each down in front of a person, and then pointed to the selections of fillings I'd placed in the middle of the table. "There's syrup, lemon juice, sugar, chocolate spread, and jam." All four looked at their plates and then at me.

"Erm… Amelia, it's going to take more than one pancake to make us full," Seth told me.

"I told you, you were doing wrong," Jacob said smugly.

"No, I'm going to make the next batch while you eat that one, and so on, and so on," I explained. Anyone would think they'd never eaten pancakes before.

"Why is there lemon juice?" Renesmee asked.

"For your pancakes," I told her. Wasn't that obvious.

"Who has lemon juice on pancakes?" Leah interjected, speaking for the first time.

"Doesn't everyone? You put some lemon juice on, roll it up, and sprinkle the sugar on top." They all looked at me like I'd gone mad. This was not how I'd envisioned my attempt at making it up to Renesmee, by making her favorite breakfast, would go. To start with, they were supposed to be happily eating the pancakes.

"Who eats pancakes like that?" Seth asked.

"Everybody!" I shouted, getting annoyed. "Everybody eats pancakes like that!" Had I done it wrong? No! This is how I'd made pancakes at home, as a human. They're just being annoying!

"Are you gonna eat your damn pancakes or not?" I snapped.

Seth reached for the bottle of lemon juice. "So you put the lemon juice in the pancake? Roll it up? Then put sugar of top." He did each action as he spoke. "Hey, this is good!"

"Told you I knew what I was doing," I said smugly.

"Pass me the lemon juice please, Seth," Renesmee requested. I turned back to the hob to make the next batch as I heard both her and Leah begin to eat their pancakes.

"Try it, Jakey, it's good."

"Yeah, man, try it. The freaky vampire makes good pancakes."

"Even I ate mine, so eat up, all mighty Alpha."

I gave them all a new pancake once they'd eaten up.

"So, did you like them?" I asked.

Seth, Leah, and Renesmee all nodded while proceeding to eat their second pancake.

"I don't see why you can't cook pancakes the normal way." Jacob grumbled.

"Normal way? This is how you cook pancakes." Suddenly realization hit. "Oh … this is how you cook pancakes in Britain. You do it differently in America, don't you?"

"Wow! Who knew the British didn't know how to cook pancakes," Jacob said sarcastically.

"We know how to cook pancakes. We even have a day for them. Maybe you're the ones who don't know how to cook them."

"You have a day for them?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, pancake day."

"Imaginatively named," Leah pointed out.

"Just admit you don't have a clue what you're talking about, leech," Jacob sneered at me.

"You know what," I said, now on the verge of tears. I've always hated the fact that whenever I get mad I start to cry. It means people coo around me, so I always end up breaking down, when all I really wanted to do was to shout at them. "I was just trying to help. To make up for what happened."

"You think cooking pancakes makes up for trying to kill a child?" Jacob growled. His body began to shake.

"Jacob, mate, calm down."

No! No it doesn't! How can I ever make up for what I did? I tried to murder her – murder her for God's sake!

"That's enough, Jacob." I didn't know where Bella and Edward came from, but Edward was holding a refraining hand on Jacob's shoulder.

"How can you forgive her?" Jacob shouted at the pair of them. "She tried to kill your daughter!"

I tried to kill their daughter! I tried to kill their daughter!

The overwhelming desire to run filled me again. Without listening to the rest of the argument, I fled the room. Jacob was right – I didn't deserve to be forgiven.

What do I do now?

"Amelia?" Harry's voice caught my attention. I couldn't leave him again. I couldn't be alone. I just couldn't face it. The tears I had been holding back began to fall, becoming huge racking sobs. Harry wrapped me into his arms and I cried on to his shoulder, thankful that he was still there. In that one moment I just felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened. This wasn't how my life was supposed to turn out. Nothing interesting ever happened to me. I was supposed to be sitting at home in London, living the boring day to day routine I'd live for years, and should have been doing for years to come. I wasn't supposed to be an ocean away from the place I'd lived all my life, in a house full of vampires, wolves, and hybrids, where I couldn't even cook pancakes properly. So I clung onto Harry as I cried on his shoulder, because if there was only one thing I was certain off in this strange new life on mine, it was that he loved me.

I have nothing against American style pancakes (I ate them nearly every day for breakfast when I was in New York a few years ago), I just don't know how you cook them.

Reviews are greatly appreciated :)