The residents of Kabuchiko play telephone. Please enjoy! ^-^

"Hey, Toshi, I heard Sougo bought movie tickets for the first time ever."

"That kid? If its rated PG, you better go with him, Kondo." Hijikata pointed to one of the rules in the Shinsengumi regulations. Kondo frowned.

"Couldn't you go with him?" He asked. A mayonnaise-shaped pen scratched across the paper, then Hijikata held up the regulations again.

"I could, but then you'd have to commit seppuku."

"Hey, Yamazaki-san, you're a spy. I have a job for you."

"Commander." Yamazaki turned his head to Kondo before looking back across the court, and hitting a birdie over the net.

"Sougo is going to see a movie. I need you to find out what movie is."

"That was cheating! You can't hit the birdie twice! That point wasn't fair!"

"Um, Yamazaki, are you listening to me?"

"Sorry, Commander, what were you saying?"

"I said that-"

"Ok then, I'm alright with replaying the point. But it's my serve, ok?"

"-Sougo is going to see a movie. I need you, as a spy, to find out what movie it is. And what it's rated."
"I've got it!" Yamazaki knew he could win if he hit this one right.

"Good." Kondo nodded, satisfied, and walked away, as Yamazaki victoriously smashed the birdie onto the other side of the net to win the game.

"What was the commander saying to me?" he mused, "That the Captain was going to eat, and is moody? Yes, that must have been it. I should warn anyone selling food, so they don't annoy him..."

"Hello, you are Otose-san, right?"

"That's me. And you are?"

"Yamazaki Sagaru. Pleased to meet you. I would say that your snack shop is the most visited in Kabukicho; is that correct?"

"I'm flattered."

"Its all because of the moe, cat-eared waitress character."

"You're not moe. Aah, my eyes! That hurt!"

"Catherine! Mind your manners. Are you alright, Yamazaki-san?"

"Don't worry, it happens regularly. I was just coming by to warn you in case the Captain comes here for dinner; the Commander said he was moody. Be careful when talking to him."

"We ought to be alright, but thank you for the warning."

"Good evening, then."

"Good evening to you." The bell on the door jingled.

Ms. Otose turned to Catherine, who was still upset at being called "not moe", and was muttering insults under her breath.

"I wonder why Yamazaki-san thought Okita-san was going to eat at my snack shop. Didn't he just say the Captain was going to eat? You would think he could do that at the Shinsengumi headquarters."

"It's not always easy to relax in one's own workplace," she frowned, "People say such rude things sometimes. He probably was moody and wanted to get away to rest up."

"That makes sense." Otose nodded. "We should tell Tama to watch out as well, then. She's on break right now."

"I'll do that. I need to get away from my workplace, too. It's not easy being the moe cat eared character."

"Hey, Tama-san." Catherine called out in her stilted Japanese.

"Yes?"

"The old lady wanted me to warn you about Okita-san."

"Of the Shinsengumi? My data tells me he is a sadistic bishonen with a large bazooka, and that his current mood is: moody."

"How do you get such up-to-date data?" Catherine was somewhat frightened.

"I update hourly from internet episode reviews. This is what I do on my breaks."

"I see. Well, you don't have to worry about me, then. You can keep my mood on 'moe,' all the time."

"Shall I store that data under science fiction, or fantasy?"

"Well, I have to get back to the counter." Catherine's japanese pronunciation got even worse as she turned to storm off, miffed. She relayed her intended message as fast as she could, "Otose-san-wanted-me-to-tell-you-that-Okita-is-going-to-rest-up." And then she marched inside.

"Okita-san is going to a restaurant?" Tama-chan wondered why she needed to know this.

"Oy, Tama. The TV's broken."

"I'm not here to fix the TV, Gin-san. I'm here to collect the rent."

Gin knew that the time was right to bring out his secret weapon.

"It's alright, TV! Gin still loves you!" he turned to the television set, "So stay with me, you hear? Don't leave me now. I wanted to tell you how I feel, but now it's too late!"

"Come back to us!" Tama-chan was moved, and immediately began adjusting parts of the television set. Suddenly, an image flickered onto the screen.

"This is The Edo, bringing you a story on the Shinsengumi. Recently, the Shinsengumi has become even more dedicated to eradicating the anti-amanto factions. Members of the Shinsengumi include: Kondo Isao, Hijikata Toshiro, Okita Sougo..."

"Speaking of Okita-san, Catherine told me something weird today. She said, out of the blue, that Okita-san is going to eat at a restaurant."

"He's going out to eat, huh? I always thought she was weird, but I didn't think she was a stalker."

"Did someone say stalker?"

"You can go back into the ceiling now."

"I seem to have lost my glasses. Which way is the ceiling?"

Otae Shimura wanted to free herself of a stalker, so she was asking for advice.

"Yes, I know all about stalkers," the mysterious ninja answered, "I even learned of a new one today. It was something to do with the Shinsengumi."

"Really?" Otae was thrilled. Maybe this was about the gorilla himself!

"Yes. Apparently some waitress is a stalker; she stalks one of the Shinsengumi."
"Oh. Someone's stalking someone in the Shinsengumi, then." She was disappointed.

"Yes."

"A waitress is a stalker, you said? That is a good disguise. I'll have to watch out for waitresses that look like gorillas." Otae made a mental note to be careful.

All this talk of waitresses was making the ninja hungry, so she fixed herself some natto on the spot, and began to eat.

"Yup," she said, "It seemphs she founph ouph Okita waph going ouph to eaph." she relayed though a mouthful of natto.

"Thanks for your advice."

"Happhy to helph." The ninja disappeared in a cloud of natto.

"I warned Otose-san that Okita-san was going out to eat, and moody." Yamazaki reported back to Kondo brightly.

"I said he was going to see a movie!" Kondo exclaimed, "Now I might have to commit seppuku!" He began to sweat profusely.

"Don't worry." Hijikata had reentered the room, "I found out what movie it is. He's going to see the best movie of all time. Okita-kun has finally seen the light!"

"Okita-kun?" asked Kondo.

"Don't you usually tell him to walk toward the light?" asked Yamazaki.

"No, this time I mean it! I know what movie he's watching!"

"Thank goodness," Kondo sighed in relief, "What movie is it?"

"Alien vs. Yakuza!"

"Oh no! That's pretty violent, isn't it?" Kondo was certain he was now stuck with babysitting Okita on a beautiful night when he could be out stalking Otae.

"Yeah, it can't be even rated PG!" Yamazaki added.

"That's alright, then." Hijikata held up the rules.

"Younger members of the Shinsengumi must be escorted to movies rated PG. by the Commander."

"It doesn't say anything about other movies." noted Kondo with relief.

"Part of that looks handwritten—aah! My eyes! What was that for, vice-commander?"

"Onego, can you teach me how to be ladylike?" Kagura asked, "Nobody at home acknowledges my female side."

"I understand how you feel, Kagura-chan," Otae beamed at the girl, "so I will teach you how to be ladylike. One ladylike profession is to be a waitress." she began.

"A white dress? To get married?"

"No, a waitress, a waitress. As a matter of fact, I can teach you how to prepare some basic foods, if you would like." Otae held up an omelette that looked like it had drowned before being electrocuted and and then catching fire.

"No thanks." Kagura poked the omelet curiously, "What else could help me be a good waitress?"

"Well, here's something not to do. I heard there is a waitress who is a stalker. You shouldn't be a stalker, Kagura-chan."

"Any specific tips on how to not be a stalker?"

"Well, for example, this waitress found out that Okita-san is... what did that ninja say through her natto?" she paused, remembering, Okita waph going ouph to eaph. "Okita-san is going out with someone."

"What? I didn't know about this!" Kagura was in shock. Why hadn't he told her?

Kondo popped out from under the table.

"He is?" he asked in surprise.

Otae punched him in the face.

"Shouldn't you know about these sorts of things?" Kagura asked him.

"I did wonder when I heard he had two tickets to a movie."

Kagura was feeling dejected. She sat on the sofa, watching Gin-chan pick his nose and read JUMP, and Shinpachi do a crossword puzzle.

"What's something you use in a train?" asked Shinpachi.

"Training requires hard work, passion, and bonding between the main characters." Gin said, before returning to his jump.

"No, I mean in a train."

"An umbrella."

"No, that's for in the rain. You two are useless."

The doorbell rang.

"Oy, China!"

"I think it's for you." Kagura turned to Shinpachi.

"Good evening." The sadist looked bored, as usual.

"Hey, sadist, I heard something from Otae and Kondo today."

"Kondo-san? What was he saying about me?"

"He said you were going out with someone." She looked away from him.

"I'm not going out with anyone." Where had this rumor come from?

Kagura avoided his eyes for a moment, and studied her shoes.

Okita looked down at her shoes as well.

"Seriously?" she asked him.

"Seriously."

"Then, who are you going to see Alien vs. Yakuza with?" she asked.

Okita met her eyes.

"You, if you'll come."

Her eyes lit up.

Okita held up two tickets.